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By *anuck OP Couple 15 weeks ago
Banbury |
Hi all,
Seeking advice and just opinion I guess.
Myself and my lady partner are due to attend a bi night this weekend at a club (first for me to explore those desires I've always had but not yet acted on).
Whilst seeing who else was attending I noticed a familiar couple I know socially... In a very sensible and normal capacity.
I'm concerned it may be awkward bumping into others you know from outside the life who happen to then be in the life.
I'm an anxious person by nature anyway and was nervous about (hopefully) having my my first MM experience but am now just distracted about bumping into people I know In a different context and being able to let go and be free.
Long ramble... Apologies.
Anyone experienced something similar? |
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I can understand your reticence. You might consider that the other couple probably feel the same. A brief acknowledgement and an agreement that what happens at the event stays at the event and both your minds can be put at rest  |
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Yes we've experienced it and its not as awkward as you may imagine.
We have a clear rule, we never play with vanilla friends.
Always remember that all swingers have the same secret and will want it to remain that way. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 15 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
If you're 100% sure it's them then a polite 'think we're attending the same event' message may be warranted.
Else you're leaving it to bumping into eachother on the night, with them currently unaware you're going and you in full knowledge - not really a level playing field.
It's easy to agree not to look to play together, and even avoid situations where you'll see eachother in the act if you don't want to.
But advance notice will be much less painfull than an in person awkward situation on the night. |
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Maybe just skip that event, or go elsewhere. Saves anything becoming awkward.
Having said that I wouldn’t be bothered if we met a couple from the outside world, ans already mentioned most people would be equally happy to keep things secret. Our only worry would be bumping into a single guy that wanted to brag about his conquest at clubs and not be worried about dropping our names out there.
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You're all going to the club for the same reason. You'll be fine.
I know that sounds simple but I've bumped into family at a club and we all laughed about it and said 'I'd have never guessed you were into swinging' |
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We went to a new club a few years ago, and were given the usual tour, along on the tour was a nice guy, named Steve who was coming to a club for his very first time.
Once the tour was done, we got chatting to him and spent some time bimbling about with him.
Within an hour, no less that four couples came up to him “hiya Steve” “hey Steve, didn’t know you swing” etc etc
The poor guy didn’t know what to do, so we just reminded him that they were in the same boat as he was and that most swingers are capable of keeping the secret, for all concerned! |
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I've had this happen. I work at a club, and I've seen old friends there who are mutual friends with some of my other friends.
It's a mutual discretion expectation. Kinda like a "I won't say anything if you don't say anything" thing.
You have nothing to worry about, whatever happens at the club stays at the club |
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