FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Am I that ugly
Am I that ugly
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"That's a shame. The only thing I can suggest is start off by sending a face picture. I'm sure you're not ugly "thanks, for that, I've also done that before. Also it's sometimes you send me yours I'll send you mine, then gone. | |||
"It's a numbers thing - Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. Physical attraction will come into this and it's tougher for couples meets, as both will typically need to be right for the third. It's not about generally being attractive but having attraction and shared interests, availability, preferences etc. Stay upbeat, there's nothing wrong with you "You've not seen my face yet. | |||
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"That's a shame. The only thing I can suggest is start off by sending a face picture. I'm sure you're not ugly thanks, for that, I've also done that before. Also it's sometimes you send me yours I'll send you mine, then gone."Yeah, I don't think there's a winning formula. If it's any consolation we sent face pictures to someone and they immediately deleted their profile. | |||
"I get no replies after I send my face pics. I’d appreciate feedback from anyone prepared to look at them. If I could do better, I’d like advise. " You can't change your face though. | |||
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"It's a numbers thing - Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. Physical attraction will come into this and it's tougher for couples meets, as both will typically need to be right for the third. It's not about generally being attractive but having attraction and shared interests, availability, preferences etc. Stay upbeat, there's nothing wrong with you
You've not seen my face yet."It's still a numbers thing. There are thousands of men and most won't match what individual women want, however their face is | |||
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"I get no replies after I send my face pics. I’d appreciate feedback from anyone prepared to look at them. If I could do better, I’d like advise. " Two weeks, suggest you give it a bit more time | |||
"I get no replies after I send my face pics. I’d appreciate feedback from anyone prepared to look at them. If I could do better, I’d like advise. You can't change your face though. " Specs, beard, hair can all be changed. It's amazing how these affect looks. Smile! Different angles. | |||
"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples......." Oooh is George here?  | |||
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"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here? "He was but he's currently busy, by that I mean locked in a cupboard in my bedroom haha, Mrs x | |||
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"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here? He was but he's currently busy, by that I mean locked in a cupboard in my bedroom haha, Mrs x"Newsflash...Famous actor comes out of the closet...?? | |||
"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here? He was but he's currently busy, by that I mean locked in a cupboard in my bedroom haha, Mrs x"Share! | |||
"No worry, i dont think is something wrong with your face! Is something wrong with most of the people here! On this website i had a previous account as couple, we've got "thousand" messages, daily. Most from single man, of course, but lots from couples as well! Few weeks later, this account, as single male. Just few answers, exactly as you describe it! More than that: ive been to a couple of swing events in eastern europe (I'm not borne UK). People there are welcome you if they see you are single, try to make you join them, all being happy and smiling to each other... here, ive been to 3 events. One with my partner, quite ok-ish, then 2 events as single, when every couple was looking to me like i was trying to kick them or stealing something from them, i said "hello" a couple of time and they just turn their back to me... So, NO, is not your face, is their education and their... "kind"!" So you're saying here in the UK we're fussier than in Eastern Europe?  .
Faces matter, for me in particular eyes. | |||
"No worry, i dont think is something wrong with your face! Is something wrong with most of the people here! On this website i had a previous account as couple, we've got "thousand" messages, daily. Most from single man, of course, but lots from couples as well! Few weeks later, this account, as single male. Just few answers, exactly as you describe it! More than that: ive been to a couple of swing events in eastern europe (I'm not borne UK). People there are welcome you if they see you are single, try to make you join them, all being happy and smiling to each other... here, ive been to 3 events. One with my partner, quite ok-ish, then 2 events as single, when every couple was looking to me like i was trying to kick them or stealing something from them, i said "hello" a couple of time and they just turn their back to me... So, NO, is not your face, is their education and their... "kind"!" So true. | |||
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"You can't change your face, but you can change the photo you send to give you the best chance of a positive response. Don't just take a random mugshot that looks like it could appear on crimewatch. Smile. Do your hair (never a problem for me 🤦♂️😂😂). Make it a head and shoulders image rather than just a spooky severed head. Instead of holding your phone at arms length for a selfie, use the timer function and step back - most phone cameras use wide angle lenses and can make your head look the shape of a potato at times. Keep taking photos until you're happy with the shot and send early into a conversation, even if one hasn't been asked for. It shows you're actually interested in them seeing you and being proactive is always good, rather than exchanging loads of messages and then coming a cropper at the point everyone seems keen to meet. We can't be everyone's cup of tea. Accept that and there's less disappointment. "
And if someone takes an unposed photo of you, especially if you're smiling , you may get a more natural facial pic.
If you have several, then you can potentially experiment, by swapping them and comparing results. | |||
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"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " I'm just very busy | |||
"face pic within the first few messages way before we get into the nitty gritty or theirs no point as we would only be wasting time ... no sexual attraction no moving forward .. and that brings us to the point you cant make someone ''like'' you add in that compared to couples n women that men vastly outnumber all and that to simple maths and again quite simply ''there is NOT someone for everyone hence so many men get nowhere as there no one to get anywhere with ... single women are rare when you think alot of womens profiles are of women who are in couples and also have couples profiles thats alot of women who are indeed part of couples ... its a very hard scene for men its nobodys fault as its just the way it is in life ... women who swing are different to women who just look for sex its very different swinging is a lifestyle of choice and preference women can and will be picky and the truth is the more the men pour on to this site daily with hardly any new women joining then thats going to be alot of men facing daily rejection... " This is a great comment and 90% true. I'm only looking for couples and mainly bi ,so yes more difficult, | |||
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"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok " I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! | |||
"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! " Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ | |||
"Why is the face the last thing your sending - let's face it the face is probably the most important in terms of attraction I'd be sending it early on. I refuse any conversation especially sexual etc without a face what's the point in wasting all that time, conversation & getting excited to just be like meh...I ain't kissing that, back to the drawing board! Start with the face. " When couples (I'm looking for bi) are reluctant to send face pics too, I've had lot of bad things online with sending my face pic. Like the time I asked for a face pic and mine was sent to me, when this was 1st contact, so that's why I'm reluctant. Just saying | |||
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"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️" Exactly, in the past I've had men message me and say, I'm better looking than so and so that you met and you wouldn't meet me. It's not always just about looks, they could have had a great connection and shared many similar interests etc. They may have met them at clubs or socials and hit it off. | |||
"We prefer to start with face pics and then connection. Seems a bit pointless trying to build a connection when you haven't seen the person. It saves everyone time as well. Just our preference, connection and then face pics may work for some people." Exactly this, we usually get told they want to chat first and find out if there's a connection, which is understandable sort of if we were looking for vanilla friends. Ultimately we are here to find others to explore sexual times, for that there has to be a physical attraction first and foremost, at least for us. | |||
"Never send a face pic first " If everyone did that then nobody would ever see anyone else. Aside from at events, clubs and socials of course...... | |||
"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️" I’m talking about people I’ve been messaging, found a connection, share interests, live near, like my other pics so send face and no more replies. | |||
"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I’m talking about people I’ve been messaging, found a connection, share interests, live near, like my other pics so send face and no more replies. " It's still 'your' judgement on the people they've met. Not theirs. Something made them meet them and not you. | |||
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"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I’m talking about people I’ve been messaging, found a connection, share interests, live near, like my other pics so send face and no more replies. " This is exactly what I'm talking about. | |||
"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I’m talking about people I’ve been messaging, found a connection, share interests, live near, like my other pics so send face and no more replies. This is exactly what I'm talking about. " Maybe the lesson is what we and others have said, sending the face pic early saves you building more of a connection and therefore suffering further disappointment. It may also answer your original question, although in our experience it's not a case of ugly or handsome. | |||
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"So 3/4 really good rapport messages were sent,is that too many. The point I'm getting to is, the conversation going really well,all parties are happy with what we're all looking for, they've fabbed and commented on my profile body pics ect, so all good, face pic sent then no thanks from them. Take a look at there meets and think, wow I must be ugly if there playing with him. Just saying" You've just confirmed what most people know. Attraction is important to the majority. And you can't control what people are attracted to. Outside of scenarios such as darkrooms, gloryholes and blindfold meets, a face is important. And how is making a judgement on someone else in a 'wow they're playing with him over me' way really any different from them making a decision on you and you finding it frustrating. You're essentially doing the same as them - judging someone's looks. People control their own individual tastes, preferences and who they're attracted to. It's not anyone else's place to criticise their choices. | |||
"We learned quite early on to promise nothing until we'd seen someone in the flesh so to speak. When we first started out we were chatting to a guy and although we said we wouldn't agree to anything until we'd seen his face (which he couldn't do for a few days for some reason) we let the chat get a bit racey. When he did send it through although he looked nice he wasn't my type at all. He was hurt when we turned him down and felt we'd lead him on. " I do see where your coming from and understand people's taste, but if all other pics are fabbed ,you like what you see body ect wise, does face matter, when some of your meets( not you) you playing with someone with no teeth ect. I think well how can that be. | |||
"So 3/4 really good rapport messages were sent,is that too many. The point I'm getting to is, the conversation going really well,all parties are happy with what we're all looking for, they've fabbed and commented on my profile body pics ect, so all good, face pic sent then no thanks from them. Take a look at there meets and think, wow I must be ugly if there playing with him. Just saying You've just confirmed what most people know. Attraction is important to the majority. And you can't control what people are attracted to. Outside of scenarios such as darkrooms, gloryholes and blindfold meets, a face is important. And how is making a judgement on someone else in a 'wow they're playing with him over me' way really any different from them making a decision on you and you finding it frustrating. You're essentially doing the same as them - judging someone's looks. People control their own individual tastes, preferences and who they're attracted to. It's not anyone else's place to criticise their choices. " It's not to criticise, it's just all my other pics fabbed and comment on, say how nice I look ect, then there meets are just the total opposite. Once it's frustrating. Just saying | |||
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"No worry, i dont think is something wrong with your face! Is something wrong with most of the people here! On this website i had a previous account as couple, we've got "thousand" messages, daily. Most from single man, of course, but lots from couples as well! Few weeks later, this account, as single male. Just few answers, exactly as you describe it! More than that: ive been to a couple of swing events in eastern europe (I'm not borne UK). People there are welcome you if they see you are single, try to make you join them, all being happy and smiling to each other... here, ive been to 3 events. One with my partner, quite ok-ish, then 2 events as single, when every couple was looking to me like i was trying to kick them or stealing something from them, i said "hello" a couple of time and they just turn their back to me... So, NO, is not your face, is their education and their... "kind"! So you're saying here in the UK we're fussier than in Eastern Europe? .
Faces matter, for me in particular eyes." | |||
"We learned quite early on to promise nothing until we'd seen someone in the flesh so to speak. When we first started out we were chatting to a guy and although we said we wouldn't agree to anything until we'd seen his face (which he couldn't do for a few days for some reason) we let the chat get a bit racey. When he did send it through although he looked nice he wasn't my type at all. He was hurt when we turned him down and felt we'd lead him on. I do see where your coming from and understand people's taste, but if all other pics are fabbed ,you like what you see body ect wise, does face matter, when some of your meets( not you) you playing with someone with no teeth ect. I think well how can that be." Face does matter to me. I think you will just go round in circles if you try to guess at other people's motives | |||
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"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " . . We don't ask for or send face pics. It's not a dating site and It's not your face that we're interested in | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile . . We don't ask for or send face pics. It's not a dating site and It's not your face that we're interested in "THATS what I’m talkin bout
You don’t look at the mantelpiece when your stoking the fire | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile . . We don't ask for or send face pics. It's not a dating site and It's not your face that we're interested in "Yea if only | |||
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"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " Nothing to do with you. Expect 75% to 80% of folks on here to be timewasters or fantasists when it comes to real life meets. That way you will never be disappointed. FAB is great for organised events, holidays, see who's near, clubs, parties, socials and if you just want to chat. But as a 121 it takes a lot of effort to trawl through the the timewasters. If you think your face is your downfall, go to a FAB social meet in a pub. If everyone runs out screaming, could be you. | |||
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"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " Start with a face pic and avoid wasting eachothers time. At the end of the day it's mostly about looks. Not always but mostly. Maybe try some socials if you can to at least get a chance to share your social skills. | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " You are welcome to send me a face pic for honest advice. Sometimes I find it can be little things like someone looking sad or disinterested. I'd be happy to give you some feedback to help | |||
"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here? "Yeah but I'm very busy right now.  | |||
"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here? He was but he's currently busy, by that I mean locked in a cupboard in my bedroom haha, Mrs x"I slipped out your closet the overnight. But I'm telling you now, fun as it was, I'm not going near Wallasey again | |||
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"There can be a million reasons why someone doesn’t fancy you from a face pic: it’s a bad pic, you look like a dodgy ex, they’d imagined something else from the chat if it’s been going on for a while etc etc. Or maybe you’re just not their type. It doesn’t mean you’re necessarily objectively ugly! As demonstrated in this thread, there are people to whom a face pic is neither here nor there, but there are others who need to fancy the whole package. It’s all part of the game. " Yea I'd say lots of timewasters ect, it's hard to find genuine bi couples(male bi also) and as some have said single guys on here need to be male gods before you get any response. Someone help me out. | |||
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".... have said single guys on here need to be male gods before you get any response. Someone help me out." No,the successful men on here don't have to be Greek gods or hung. This is a swinging site not a hook up site, this means most are interested in the individual a whole. The face is important not because I want to meet people who are beautiful but I do want to meet people who look "nice and friendly " For me negativity is a huge turn off, as is an over abundance of genitalia in photos. Only you can change your Fab experience. | |||
".... have said single guys on here need to be male gods before you get any response. Someone help me out. No,the successful men on here don't have to be Greek gods or hung. This is a swinging site not a hook up site, this means most are interested in the individual a whole. The face is important not because I want to meet people who are beautiful but I do want to meet people who look "nice and friendly " For me negativity is a huge turn off, as is an over abundance of genitalia in photos. Only you can change your Fab experience. " Totally agree (would also add in arrogance for another turn off and also for us, dominance, 'bull', alpha, etc). | |||
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"Do as I do put a face picture as your main profile picture. That way it saves time n effort. I'm lucky if I get more than 1 view of my profile lol" Thanks for that, if you go back through forum you'll know why I don't. | |||
".... have said single guys on here need to be male gods before you get any response. Someone help me out. No,the successful men on here don't have to be Greek gods or hung. This is a swinging site not a hook up site, this means most are interested in the individual a whole. The face is important not because I want to meet people who are beautiful but I do want to meet people who look "nice and friendly " For me negativity is a huge turn off, as is an over abundance of genitalia in photos. Only you can change your Fab experience. " This maybe the case with some, I get all the banter good conversations, then bye once pic is sent. Just saying | |||
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"There can be a million reasons why someone doesn’t fancy you from a face pic: it’s a bad pic, you look like a dodgy ex, they’d imagined something else from the chat if it’s been going on for a while etc etc. Or maybe you’re just not their type. It doesn’t mean you’re necessarily objectively ugly! As demonstrated in this thread, there are people to whom a face pic is neither here nor there, but there are others who need to fancy the whole package. It’s all part of the game. Yea I'd say lots of timewasters ect, it's hard to find genuine bi couples(male bi also) and as some have said single guys on here need to be male gods before you get any response. Someone help me out." I have zero idea what help you want. The idea that all people want is ‘male gods’ is so wrong, and frankly an easy excuse as to why people might not be successful. | |||
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"Just think of it as instead of you asking them what you can bring to their table, turn it round so you can say what do they bring to my table. ... most guys have been courteous to send a face pic in their opening message, and when I was meeting men properly, I would always reply even if it was a no thank you. I used to keep my profile clear in stating the kind of man I liked. But we like who we like. Just keep persevering, you will soon find a couple that are into you as you are them. If they don't then their loss. Xx" Nicely said, thank you. | |||
"i have a simple rule that i stick to .... you message me first you send face pic first within the first couple of messages or i just cut off ..if i send a message first (and i do) then i send my face pic first ... so if you message me first and then say you never send first its a simple block and move on ... im not here to play games" Same here, you wink we wink, you text we text .easy | |||
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"Maybe try socials or clubs?" This is the most annoying answer. Not everyone is a social butterfly. I hate social events. I feel awkward.i hate clubs. I'm not going alone because of my lack of social skills. Some of us only can cope with meeting one person at a time. | |||
"i have a simple rule that i stick to .... you message me first you send face pic first within the first couple of messages or i just cut off ..if i send a message first (and i do) then i send my face pic first ... so if you message me first and then say you never send first its a simple block and move on ... im not here to play games Same here, you wink we wink, you text we text .easy "This what I do, not very often get back | |||
"Don't beat yourself up mate. It is their loss. I've sent plenty of face pics and got no reply afterwards. So I just leave them to it and move on. A lot can be fickle on here. So keep trying, you'll get a meet soon " | |||
"without seeing your face we cant comment but your pics look great "Thanks for saying, can't comment privately as I'm blocked unless you message | |||
"Maybe try socials or clubs? This is the most annoying answer. Not everyone is a social butterfly. I hate social events. I feel awkward.i hate clubs. I'm not going alone because of my lack of social skills. Some of us only can cope with meeting one person at a time. " So so relate to this, I've tried them too. | |||
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It's not just you struggling brother | |||
"Maybe try socials or clubs? This is the most annoying answer. Not everyone is a social butterfly. I hate social events. I feel awkward.i hate clubs. I'm not going alone because of my lack of social skills. Some of us only can cope with meeting one person at a time. So so relate to this, I've tried them too." So what has happened when you have attended these social meets? Has anyone made a comment on your appearance or been rude? We have met different guys at meets some look average but are engaging, some look lovely but are socially inept. Same for women too. Some are smiley, friendly, approachable and so sexy. Some are ballbreakers full of their own self importance and with a suitcase full of angst. FAB pulls from the whole spectrum of society and that's the good, bad and ugly. Good luck for your future meets. | |||
"without seeing your face we cant comment but your pics look great
Thanks for saying, can't comment privately as I'm blocked unless you message "I pmd you x | |||
"We prefer to start with face pics and then connection. Seems a bit pointless trying to build a connection when you haven't seen the person. It saves everyone time as well. Just our preference, connection and then face pics may work for some people." That would be my approach too , you need to know there’s some degree of attraction there first | |||
"So what has happened when you have attended these social meets? Has anyone made a comment on your appearance or been rude?" I don't think his problem is with what other people do, it's with how he feels about social events. Which is perfectly understandable, but if you're a single guy who finds social events difficult, then the hard truth is that swinging probably isn't going to work for you. | |||
"So what has happened when you have attended these social meets? Has anyone made a comment on your appearance or been rude? I don't think his problem is with what other people do, it's with how he feels about social events. Which is perfectly understandable, but if you're a single guy who finds social events difficult, then the hard truth is that swinging probably isn't going to work for you. " This is partly true, I'm really quite shy until the beer kicks in lol. I'm getting there slowly, I will find my calling | |||
"I get no replies after I send my face pics. I’d appreciate feedback from anyone prepared to look at them. If I could do better, I’d like advise. " Would you really feel better if someone said "Nah, come back when you've had plastic surgery"? | |||
"So what has happened when you have attended these social meets? Has anyone made a comment on your appearance or been rude? I don't think his problem is with what other people do, it's with how he feels about social events. Which is perfectly understandable, but if you're a single guy who finds social events difficult, then the hard truth is that swinging probably isn't going to work for you. This is partly true, I'm really quite shy until the beer kicks in lol. I'm getting there slowly, I will find my calling" Your verifications show you are managing quite well in social settings. | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " I'm guessing, you are similar to me... as I get the same experience. I'm no Brad Pit, No Jason Statham Nor am I Johnny Depp. Some people can be very judgemental, but then again.. it is their body after all.. so they are well within their rights to say no, ghost you, block you etc... Yes.. I too have exactly this. All I can say is.. do as I do.. have a face pic hidden under your friends pics.. Add them as a friend and if they don't want to chat, it saves days, weeks and in some cases months of wasted chats. Those women who have bothered to actually chat to me, meet for coffee (and sometimes more) seem quite please and surprised by me and in most cases, I am told I have a calming gentle personality which is found to be addictive. Sorry I can't help anymore, but "You are not alone" and "In space, no one can hear you scream" Stick at it... it will happen.. | |||
"I'm uglier then you so you should be ok I’ve looked at peoples past meets and thought wtf? You blanked me but you fucked a wrinkly, bald bloke with 3 chins and a lazy eye! Maybe their profiles were good, their attitudes positive and despite the wrinkles and lack of hair they were nice people who brought something to the table that those people wanted? I fit two of those descriptions quite well. Never affected my life on here. Only they will know what they want and obviously they managed to find it in those people. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I’m talking about people I’ve been messaging, found a connection, share interests, live near, like my other pics so send face and no more replies. This is exactly what I'm talking about. " You're only responding to those your thoughts align with... that's not helping you solve your problem. Take the advice or don't, it matters to no-one but you. | |||
"So 3/4 really good rapport messages were sent,is that too many. The point I'm getting to is, the conversation going really well,all parties are happy with what we're all looking for, they've fabbed and commented on my profile body pics ect, so all good, face pic sent then no thanks from them. Take a look at there meets and think, wow I must be ugly if there playing with him. Just saying" Stop judging others with YOUR yardstick. Obi put it best  | |||
"If you want to be very kind, yes, fussier is the word. But i dont think ill turn my back when someone come to say hello to me, even if that person is a male and im not interested in and even if is ugly for me!!! And im not looking to you like you are a criminal just because you are single and im couple! Grow up! Tomorrow you might be single and me couple! In my opinion is bit something else but yes, you can say "fussier" if you want! You can say any word as description, if you want, but the reality is... not fussier! Back in time i was talking with another man, he british, as i was curious if its only mine experience. He agreed 100% with me. No worry, i dont think is something wrong with your face! Is something wrong with most of the people here! On this website i had a previous account as couple, we've got "thousand" messages, daily. Most from single man, of course, but lots from couples as well! Few weeks later, this account, as single male. Just few answers, exactly as you describe it! More than that: ive been to a couple of swing events in eastern europe (I'm not borne UK). People there are welcome you if they see you are single, try to make you join them, all being happy and smiling to each other... here, ive been to 3 events. One with my partner, quite ok-ish, then 2 events as single, when every couple was looking to me like i was trying to kick them or stealing something from them, i said "hello" a couple of time and they just turn their back to me... So, NO, is not your face, is their education and their... "kind"! So you're saying here in the UK we're fussier than in Eastern Europe? .
Faces matter, for me in particular eyes."Are you telling me to grow up? If so you're being as rude as someone was to you if they turned their back on you after saying hello. Btw I'm single and courteous. I'd be courteous in a couple. | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile . . We don't ask for or send face pics. It's not a dating site and It's not your face that we're interested in "There you go OP, you're in | |||
"It could just be that one half of the couple you are talking to fancies you and the other half doesn't. Often one half will do the initial screening. Maybe one of them doesn't care about facial looks (possibly just interested in body shape and cock size) whereas the other is looking for George Clooney 🤷 I wouldn't take it to heart. Just move on and keep trying and going to socials and clubs. Also...it is possible that couples profiles are not actually couples....... Oooh is George here?
Yeah but I'm very busy right now. "Swooooooon | |||
"Don't know what to do. After speaking to many many couples on here, some really good conversations and all saying what we like from the experience on a meet together, body pics sent ect from all parties. Getting really close to arranging meet as all going well. It's comes sending that last pic, the face, then hey ethier not for me thanks,or instant block. I never show my face pic on profile, like most people on here,and I'm always reluctant to send face pics. It's happened again today,been messaging each other for days ,sex text ect ,then hey same as about. Any help. Yes I know my face isn't on my profile " You don't seem to be doing to badly, 9 verifications when we have seen profiles on here for over a year and nothing. One of the things that would put us off is your pics all seem to be taken in a disabled toilet | |||
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"Just drop the face pic right in the first message. Attraction is a very personal thing in the LS and in regular dating so you have to expect that you won't be to everyone's taste and that's 100% natural and ok. Generally those that are serious, experienced and have been around the LS for a while are past the whole "what if someone knows me" thing and don't mind early pic shares. Even as a couple, if we reach out first with a thoughtful message we drop our pics right in there. Part of anything online is that you have to have a pretty thick skin and be aware that there are many who lack simple decorum and respect and will just ghost or block. I mean if you walked up to someone in a club and said hello most would at least give you the courtesy of a "thank you but not interested" but unfortunately that doesn't carry over to online. In our opinion that's pretty ignorant and speaks volumes about their character and we wouldn't want them in our circle anyway...that's a vibe test right there. Take some time and get someone to take some pictures of you outside with natural lighting, choose the best and then lead with that pic and a great first message all the time. That's your best shot and anyone who doesn't appreciate that you don't want to spend time with anyway. Cheers " Love it thank you, some great advice. I'm going revamp my profile and Start afresh | |||
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"I have face pictures in my profile and always happy to send one straight away. I've got nothing to hide and don't see why you wouldn't show your face unless you did. The face is one of the most important parts. You could have the best body but the worst face then that's a no no. I do think this site is extremely hard though I've tried ever type of first message and hardly get a response. The woman definitely are in charge of here. " As you'll see, this is about bi couples and a bi male trying to get into swing. But thanks for your advice, I'd never have my face on profile | |||
