FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bareback or safe sex
Bareback or safe sex
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms   "
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
"
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV... |
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Safety first and bareback is hands down the best.
Swinging is a risk assessment. In an ideal world we wouldn't need protection. It's all a matter of the level of risk your willing to take for your pleasure and that is a personal choice. No sex is 100% risk free. For use bareback is exclusively between the two of us. However we both are happy with oral unprotected as is by far the norm on the scene. It's not risk free but this is the ballance of risk and pleasure we're comfortable with. And we have in the passed still been tested to reduce that risk futher.
The idea of bareback is great. We often talk about the idea of Mrs and another woman bent over and me slipping in and out of them both of them seamlessly. But of course in reality this would not be practical unless it was someone we were comfortable with and trusted 100% to be safe with. I get there are circles of bareback swingers who test regularly and only bareback within that circle. However that is putting a lot of trust in other people and the bigger that circle gets the more liable it is to someone breaking that trust and risking everone. |
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By *elkieWoman 21 weeks ago
Durham |
"Safety first and bareback is hands down the best.
Swinging is a risk assessment. In an ideal world we wouldn't need protection. It's all a matter of the level of risk your willing to take for your pleasure and that is a personal choice. No sex is 100% risk free. For use bareback is exclusively between the two of us. However we both are happy with oral unprotected as is by far the norm on the scene. It's not risk free but this is the ballance of risk and pleasure we're comfortable with. And we have in the passed still been tested to reduce that risk futher.
The idea of bareback is great. We often talk about the idea of Mrs and another woman bent over and me slipping in and out of them both of them seamlessly. But of course in reality this would not be practical unless it was someone we were comfortable with and trusted 100% to be safe with. I get there are circles of bareback swingers who test regularly and only bareback within that circle. However that is putting a lot of trust in other people and the bigger that circle gets the more liable it is to someone breaking that trust and risking everone."
You could make that happen with a female condom. #justsaying
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Our view is an evening of unprotected pleasure really worth the stress & worry that you may have caught an incurable disease ? We would love to go unprotected but the risk v reward isn't worth it for us. |
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"How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV..."
Because regular testing will catch any infections before it does long term damage. People who think condoms are 100% safe and don't get regular tests are ignorant of their status.
I used to be a sexual health outreach worker and the number of women who get infected by their partners because she believed he was monogamous.
I am on PrEP and get tested every 12 weeks without fail and I enjoy my bareback sex very much! |
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Oh and also to add... I ALWAYS have a chat with a new shag about responsible sexual health. Even though I know I enjoy bareback, I'm allowing him the space to be responsible and to use condoms if that would make him feel safer and less anxious. Because I know he's cheating behind his partner's back, but it's not my place to judge him. |
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Unfortunately I can't use condoms as the chemicals used always make my cock go soft, it's happened for years. I meet up with a local lady quite regularly, and her vaginal walls sting if a condom is used  |
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By *oxy jWoman 21 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV..."
you'll be surprised how many who use condoms that dont test or never have its safer sex not safe sex you can still catch stuff after all you dont just use your cock
id rather go with a barebacker who test regular than a safe sex person who never test ..
i test every 6 weeks im lucky tho as i do voluntary work for a safe sex charity so have easy access and apart from two exclusive regulars its all safer sex |
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV...
you'll be surprised how many who use condoms that dont test or never have its safer sex not safe sex you can still catch stuff after all you dont just use your cock
id rather go with a barebacker who test regular than a safe sex person who never test ..
i test every 6 weeks im lucky tho as i do voluntary work for a safe sex charity so have easy access and apart from two exclusive regulars its all safer sex"
Very, very true.
I wish some people would do a little research or visit their local clinic/ charity and ask the professionals advice.
There is so much misinformation around. |
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV..."
Regular testing will give you a very good chance of identifying an STI with no obvious symptoms and so could hopefully stop further unnecessary spread if it.
It could also help you get treatment and stop you being unwell or even stop infertility in some case.
As for HIV transmission then if that is the case, early recognition and a plan for treatment is advisable too.
It can stop the progression and control any other issues.
HIV is now a managed illness where people can live a long and normal life.
With good treatment and the education about that being available, we take away the stigma and fear so that everyone reslises that it is more like diabetes etc now.
The advances in medicine are huge in comparison to even 10/15 years ago |
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV...
you'll be surprised how many who use condoms that dont test or never have its safer sex not safe sex you can still catch stuff after all you dont just use your cock
id rather go with a barebacker who test regular than a safe sex person who never test ..
i test every 6 weeks im lucky tho as i do voluntary work for a safe sex charity so have easy access and apart from two exclusive regulars its all safer sex"
Just had mine today. The girl knows me that much now as I come every quarter..should I chance it and ask her out. She my type |
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"Unfortunately I can't use condoms as the chemicals used always make my cock go soft, it's happened for years. I meet up with a local lady quite regularly, and her vaginal walls sting if a condom is used "
both of those issues can be worked around and not a good reason to go bare. |
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"Looking at hot pics and pretty much most couples and women profiles safe sex has gone out the window!"
or it's photos with their own partners
We do safer sex... test regularly...condoms for full sex no exceptions with others, but we do oral without |
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"Always safe sex and no oral given for us...we enjoy our lifestyle but definitely not risking our health"
You don’t give oral ? ……… what’s happening with “not Kev” in your second pic then ? Or have I misunderstood? |
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"Bring back the 70s and 80s only used them then for birth control "
Prep seems to be swinging things back that way and I worry about the increase in STDs that will cause, and arguably already is..
As an aside, if you review academic research and the thoughts of practicing GUM physicians, oral sex is pretty close to safe sex. The transmission route is pretty ineffective for STDs and the amount of transmission vs the amount of acts of oral is very small. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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In our experience its difficult enough finding legitimate couples we click with and we don't swing often enough for this to be a primary concern. You take each meet as it comes but we certainly wouldn't go to something like a bareback gang bang or play bare in a club with folk we don't know.
When we fist met at a friends wedding we fucked without a condom that same night. We didn't die or get any disease, but we did end up married. |
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I highly doubt you are going to find anyone who actually prefers safe sex, but most will practice it.
For us, it's bare at home and safe elsewhere by and large. The playmates we have had for literally multiple years however, well there's a degree of trust there that can mean bare is possible if desired |
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Obviously BB is better but as a single girl, condoms all the way! Health is wealth.
My profile clearly says this but it still amazes me how many guys try it on and try to slip it in anyway. It makes me so angry and causes me no end of stress afterwards. |
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Testing is like an MOT, only valid until you leave the testing centre. Say your all clear at the test, your next test is maybe 6 weeks away, that leaves 5 weeks 6 days to get an infection and pass it on to others.I started swinging with friends in the mid 70s, things were different then. But since starting again in the 90s it's always been with condoms, had some great experiences with lots of couples but none worth dying or risking my/our health for. The only bareback we do is between us. |
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Amazing how many people on here claim condoms only but when you talk to them or meet them they say they love bareback.
I play bare, I test regularly and I’m selective about who I meet. What I also find crazy is the people who will only have “safe sex” but don’t get tested. |
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If you may allow me to summarise the various views...
1. There is no such thing as "safe" sex, there is only "safer" sex. All sex is with some risk, even with condoms.
2. There are currently reports of a new strain of MPox and antibiotic resistant Gonnorroea. Be careful out there, folks.
3. Some people (like me) on PrEP who do enjoy BB with select people (eg they all on PrEP themselves) are still cautious. If you're going attend BB gangbangs several times a week, you're exposing yourself to much higher risks.
4. So a compromise could be get tested every 12 weeks, get on PeEP and enjoy BB selectively.
5. However, even if you use protection, it may still be wise to get checked occasionally (six monthly?) to ensure you are not carrying any symptomless infections that could do long term damage.
6. Finally, it is lovely to see couples who only BB with each other. That is real commitment, making BB sex special. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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What I prefer and what I’ll do are different things. Clearly babreback feels nice, less interruptions to play if not stopping to put one on. But would I be bareback with anyone - no - respect my health too much |
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"Everyone prefers sex without condoms, but the sensible among us rubber up with the randoms
Regular testing is much more sensible.
Oral sex carries many STI risks but just about no-one even considers a condom for that.
How is regular testing more sensible than condoms? Surely both? Regular testing won't help you if you've already contracted HIV...
you'll be surprised how many who use condoms that dont test or never have its safer sex not safe sex you can still catch stuff after all you dont just use your cock
id rather go with a barebacker who test regular than a safe sex person who never test ..
i test every 6 weeks im lucky tho as i do voluntary work for a safe sex charity so have easy access and apart from two exclusive regulars its all safer sex"
So how is testing regular regarded safe? It only has to be one person who has an std to have sex with you within them 6 weeks, you have sex with say 4 other people.. they have sec with 4 other people.. how fast an std can spread in 6 weeks and some people don’t show symptoms  |
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By *unnybunsWoman 19 weeks ago
Between here and over there |
Sorry to be a bore but I am a theatre nurse and the rise in oral cancers caused by HPV really does scare the hell out of me. Mainly tonsils/ tongue and throat. I have seen an uprise in the last few years in my job - just a foot note to say if you feel like you have got something funky going on, change in swallowing, unusual white patches go and get it checked out.
Stay safe and happy people’s of Fab.   |
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Like most, I prefer bb play, but reserve that for trusted responsible partners. I test regularly, & always test a couple of weeks after a meet. A clear test doesn't necessarily mean there's no nasties present, unless adequate time is given between your last meet and taking a test. I like going into a meet knowing I'm clear, which seems to be a far cry from how others go about things. Had a phone call with one local woman who's regularly looking for meets, as in most nights, yet her last test was sometime last year!
It's not just about protecting yourself, protecting those you play with is important too. So test, abstain, play, abstain, test, works for me. Bareback reserved for 1, maybe 2 trusted friends, condoms for others. |
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"Sorry to be a bore but I am a theatre nurse and the rise in oral cancers caused by HPV really does scare the hell out of me. Mainly tonsils/ tongue and throat. I have seen an uprise in the last few years in my job - just a foot note to say if you feel like you have got something funky going on, change in swallowing, unusual white patches go and get it checked out.
Stay safe and happy people’s of Fab. "
Thank you; at last someone who knows what they are talking about. |
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"As a blood donor I have to play safe. Having said that I would go with the flow everything in life a risk you just gotta do what you think is right really "
Surely they check the blood before using it anyway |
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"Sorry to be a bore but I am a theatre nurse and the rise in oral cancers caused by HPV really does scare the hell out of me. Mainly tonsils/ tongue and throat. I have seen an uprise in the last few years in my job - just a foot note to say if you feel like you have got something funky going on, change in swallowing, unusual white patches go and get it checked out.
Stay safe and happy people’s of Fab. "
Thanks 🙏 for raising this |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Yes Linda 
There are still people out there who think of it as contraception and that bothers me! Just shows how much consideration they take in to other things. |
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"Prefer bareback if it's with a woman I'm seeing exclusively otherwise it's condoms with other women I'm not familiar with "
Wrong thread my friend. You are looking for the one called "double standards. |
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"I wonder how many people reply to these threads trying to say th " right thing" rather than what they love  "
What do you think they should be saying?
Most, if not all, prefer bare, who doesn't? But they state they play 'safe'. Why isn't that a valid reply?
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Typical stereotypical
I have always preferred to use condoms mainly
Because putting one on is a clear precursor to the act which is then prolonged significantly
I do accept that some are sensitive to latex and some dislike the additional friction but the right lube is usually a good solution for both |
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"What do you like best"
Bareback of course !, so much more feeling and closeness plus a few more kinks .
Yes condoms with strangers in clubs yet if one has something it will likely be passed by oral sex anyway. Bare with long term friends for sure yet they are almost impossible to find these days. |
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