FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Another Request for Profile Advice
Another Request for Profile Advice
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Hi All,
I've had some luck on Fab before but not much for a while now.
I believe feedback is a gift and I am looking to get some constructive criticism on how I could improve my profile. If you would like to take a look at it and have some suggestions, please let me know. Don't hold back!
Thanks in advance.
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Your profile is in the top 2% on here so the usual
Make connections go to socials/clubs advice is more appropriate than profile advice.
That said, you asked for profile advice. I’m probably not your target segment, but I would have a look at what you’re looking for and tailor to that and be explicit about what your are after/will consider.
As a fit but curvier girl I wouldn’t approach as someone so into bodybuilding/gym may judge/reject so I wouldn’t put myself into that position when there are so many guys here.
If you are looking for women like me, I would reduce the bodybuilding pose pics (don’t get me wrong I would also show off the results of such long-term effort and work), and include one or two dressed social vanilla person full body pics. Particularly given that you’re looking for a FWB not just a meet. Best of luck! |
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Profile looks OK just needs small tweaks like modern verfications ect, compared to ours yiurs is neat and clean just try going to socials more and those who like yiu will gravitate towards you remember Rome wasn't built in a day |
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I was not expecting be top 2%! Thanks for all that advice. Yes, it probably would be a bit better for me to reduce the gym heavy element. I may remove those pictures, or include a disclaimer that there is no expectation of being of a similar body type. Thanks! |
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"I was not expecting be top 2%! Thanks for all that advice. Yes, it probably would be a bit better for me to reduce the gym heavy element. I may remove those pictures, or include a disclaimer that there is no expectation of being of a similar body type. Thanks!"
If you tap on the “reply and quote” button bottom right of the post you’re responding to, it helps people follow the thread better. |
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The text is fine.
Hoewever, the photos give the impression that you think having muscles is guaranteed to get women into bed. Such posing is a turn off for me, especially as it is every single photo.
Show that you have a life away from the gym, and have photos with clothes on too. |
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"I was not expecting be top 2%! Thanks for all that advice. Yes, it probably would be a bit better for me to reduce the gym heavy element. I may remove those pictures, or include a disclaimer that there is no expectation of being of a similar body type. Thanks!
If you tap on the “reply and quote” button bottom right of the post you’re responding to, it helps people follow the thread better. "
Yes, I’ve just realised it’s not obvious who I’m replying to. First time forum user mistake, sorry. I’ve got it now! |
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"Profile looks OK just needs small tweaks like modern verfications ect, compared to ours yiurs is neat and clean just try going to socials more and those who like yiu will gravitate towards you remember Rome wasn't built in a day"
Thanks for that. I agree with the modern verifications, although its a bit of a chicken and egg issue with that one. Yes, I probably should make more of an effort on the socials. |
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"The text is fine.
Hoewever, the photos give the impression that you think having muscles is guaranteed to get women into bed. Such posing is a turn off for me, especially as it is every single photo.
Show that you have a life away from the gym, and have photos with clothes on too."
Noted thanks. I shall tone down the posing a little bit. |
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"I was not expecting be top 2%! Thanks for all that advice. Yes, it probably would be a bit better for me to reduce the gym heavy element. I may remove those pictures, or include a disclaimer that there is no expectation of being of a similar body type. Thanks!
If you tap on the “reply and quote” button bottom right of the post you’re responding to, it helps people follow the thread better.
Yes, I’ve just realised it’s not obvious who I’m replying to. First time forum user mistake, sorry. I’ve got it now!"
No worries. I guessed that looking at the green arrow. Best of luck with it all. |
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A thought - a few people have says they’d be put off by a gym fit body. But ultimately, many won’t be.
If the situation was the other way round and you were carrying a lot of extra weight, no one would be saying anything. You have what you have and shouldn’t feel a need to be apologetic or hide it. I only see 3 pics where you’re particularly posing, the rest are just body shots.
If people feel concerned you may not be interested in them as a result, that’s about their own feelings, not your body. You could always address it and say you like a range of body types if that’s the case, but I don’t think you should adapt your pics just in case others aren’t comfortable. It’s about attracting compatible people, not increasing your chances.
Just my reflection 🙂 |
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"I would be put off by all the pictures of a gym fit body thinking that I wouldn’t be your type. "
That seems to be a running theme. It’s still useful to know though, as I wouldn’t have picked up on it before. Much appreciated, thank you. |
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"A thought - a few people have says they’d be put off by a gym fit body. But ultimately, many won’t be.
If the situation was the other way round and you were carrying a lot of extra weight, no one would be saying anything. You have what you have and shouldn’t feel a need to be apologetic or hide it. I only see 3 pics where you’re particularly posing, the rest are just body shots.
If people feel concerned you may not be interested in them as a result, that’s about their own feelings, not your body. You could always address it and say you like a range of body types if that’s the case, but I don’t think you should adapt your pics just in case others aren’t comfortable. It’s about attracting compatible people, not increasing your chances.
Just my reflection 🙂"
I think you’ve probably articulated what I’m now thinking better than I could have myself. In trying to be everyone’s cup of tea perhaps you end up becoming nobody’s. The confidence to be yourself is an attractive quality, or at least I find it so in others. |
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Your profile is great and like the pics.... so I've no idea why you're not having much luck. Maybe have a look at what you're sending in msgs and if it's to ppl whom seem like they maybe interested in what you want too?
Good luck xx
K
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"Your profile is great and like the pics.... so I've no idea why you're not having much luck. Maybe have a look at what you're sending in msgs and if it's to ppl whom seem like they maybe interested in what you want too?
Good luck xx
K
"
Thanks for the kind words. It’s good to know I’m doing something right. Maybe it’s my message game I need to up, more so than my profile. |
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"Your profile is great and like the pics.... so I've no idea why you're not having much luck. Maybe have a look at what you're sending in msgs and if it's to ppl whom seem like they maybe interested in what you want too?
Good luck xx
K
Thanks for the kind words. It’s good to know I’m doing something right. Maybe it’s my message game I need to up, more so than my profile."
It’s tough on here. For everyone.
It’s got little to do with message game. Head to socials and clubs, keep an eye on the meets list (there message game is definitely worth having), and build a network.
Once you have one a lot comes from recommendations and word of mouth. Sending out messages cold is very likely to be a soul destroying waste of time. I say that having sent out many for a group event on Sunday for little to no response from the chaps. Popped a meet up and my inbox was full. People will engage when they have the time and space to do so around their real lives. |
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"A thought - a few people have says they’d be put off by a gym fit body. But ultimately, many won’t be.
If the situation was the other way round and you were carrying a lot of extra weight, no one would be saying anything. You have what you have and shouldn’t feel a need to be apologetic or hide it. I only see 3 pics where you’re particularly posing, the rest are just body shots.
If people feel concerned you may not be interested in them as a result, that’s about their own feelings, not your body. You could always address it and say you like a range of body types if that’s the case, but I don’t think you should adapt your pics just in case others aren’t comfortable. It’s about attracting compatible people, not increasing your chances.
Just my reflection 🙂"
This was an amazing response after everyone was telling hide or cover his body image and you tell him don't celebrate it just as bigger people should great reply |
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"It’s tough on here. For everyone.
It’s got little to do with message game. Head to socials and clubs, keep an eye on the meets list (there message game is definitely worth having), and build a network.
Once you have one a lot comes from recommendations and word of mouth. Sending out messages cold is very likely to be a soul destroying waste of time. I say that having sent out many for a group event on Sunday for little to no response from the chaps. Popped a meet up and my inbox was full. People will engage when they have the time and space to do so around their real lives."
Although I do mostly agree with this and can speak only for myself, in my case, while it took me a fair few messages, I did eventually get a response from someone I connected really well with, and she doesn't attend socials so I otherwise wouldn't have met her.
Difficult to say whether one favourable response is worth justifying a recommendation of continuing to send messages, but I'm definitely glad I didn't stop after the first couple that went unanswered. |
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"A thought - a few people have says they’d be put off by a gym fit body. But ultimately, many won’t be.
If the situation was the other way round and you were carrying a lot of extra weight, no one would be saying anything. You have what you have and shouldn’t feel a need to be apologetic or hide it. I only see 3 pics where you’re particularly posing, the rest are just body shots.
If people feel concerned you may not be interested in them as a result, that’s about their own feelings, not your body. You could always address it and say you like a range of body types if that’s the case, but I don’t think you should adapt your pics just in case others aren’t comfortable. It’s about attracting compatible people, not increasing your chances.
Just my reflection 🙂"
Couldn’t agree any more with your sentiments here… some of the comments I see towards “gym fit” individuals on here give off body shaming vibes to a degree… would be nice to see people actually take the time to get to know someone’s character as opposed to judging them based on the appearance of their photos. |
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"It’s tough on here. For everyone.
It’s got little to do with message game. Head to socials and clubs, keep an eye on the meets list (there message game is definitely worth having), and build a network.
Once you have one a lot comes from recommendations and word of mouth. Sending out messages cold is very likely to be a soul destroying waste of time. I say that having sent out many for a group event on Sunday for little to no response from the chaps. Popped a meet up and my inbox was full. People will engage when they have the time and space to do so around their real lives.
Although I do mostly agree with this and can speak only for myself, in my case, while it took me a fair few messages, I did eventually get a response from someone I connected really well with, and she doesn't attend socials so I otherwise wouldn't have met her.
Difficult to say whether one favourable response is worth justifying a recommendation of continuing to send messages, but I'm definitely glad I didn't stop after the first couple that went unanswered."
Sorry I should have been clearer. I’m not saying don’t send messages, just as I’m not saying make a profile for everyone. There is no magic bullet and a mix of activities targeted at meeting the people you want to meet to spread your effort and activity is more likely to get results.
Profile/message/socials are not an either or, they’re an and. |
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"Hi All,
I've had some luck on Fab before but not much for a while now.
I believe feedback is a gift and I am looking to get some constructive criticism on how I could improve my profile. If you would like to take a look at it and have some suggestions, please let me know. Don't hold back!
Thanks in advance.
"
Maybe go with something sexier / alluring than your LinkedIn photo for a profile pic? |
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"Sorry I should have been clearer. I’m not saying don’t send messages, just as I’m not saying make a profile for everyone. There is no magic bullet and a mix of activities targeted at meeting the people you want to meet to spread your effort and activity is more likely to get results.
Profile/message/socials are not an either or, they’re an and. "
Ah, my apologies for misunderstanding you. |
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"Hi All,
I've had some luck on Fab before but not much for a while now.
I believe feedback is a gift and I am looking to get some constructive criticism on how I could improve my profile. If you would like to take a look at it and have some suggestions, please let me know. Don't hold back!
Thanks in advance.
Maybe go with something sexier / alluring than your LinkedIn photo for a profile pic?"
Yes, I agree with that one. I had a temporary lapse of sanity earlier today and decided to put up something a bit more official looking. I have now regained my senses and replaced it. |
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"I don't see the point of blurring your shoulder tattoo in some pics but have it fully visible in others"
There is no point really. When I first put up pics I wanted the tattoos hidden. I’m not so bothered anymore but haven’t yet updated the older pics. |
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I would say it’s location and lack of verifications that’s causing you to struggle meeting a good FWB.
Swinging clubs are good places to meet people and if you have it in your budget to get to them often you may find a swinging partner.
But then there’s the issue of jealousy when people couple up in the swinging scene
S&B |
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"I think your new profile pic would look better with your head cropped off rather than blurred out.
This is where you meet him and his head actually is just a solid splodge of pure white."
White splodge face is a serious condition affecting many people all over the world. I long for the day when our scientists find a cure. Until then, it is my cross to bear. |
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Profile looks decent to me. Women tend to like artistic shots, boxer pics, open jean pics ect, that's what they seem to say when I'm out with them and they're looking at guys profiles.
Personally for myself socials have been the way forward and there's usually no single guys, which is a bonus. I started swinging again proper after a year or so of not doing anything and one organised Fab social has got me lots of meets. |
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"I would say it’s location and lack of verifications that’s causing you to struggle meeting a good FWB.
Swinging clubs are good places to meet people and if you have it in your budget to get to them often you may find a swinging partner.
But then there’s the issue of jealousy when people couple up in the swinging scene
S&B"
Thanks for that. Yes, it is a bit of a chicken and egg situation with the verifications I guess.
I have never ben to a swingers club. I think I would be too nervous to rock up by myself as a single male. Nothing ventured, nothing gained though I guess! |
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"Profile looks decent to me. Women tend to like artistic shots, boxer pics, open jean pics ect, that's what they seem to say when I'm out with them and they're looking at guys profiles.
Personally for myself socials have been the way forward and there's usually no single guys, which is a bonus. I started swinging again proper after a year or so of not doing anything and one organised Fab social has got me lots of meets."
Thanks for that. Yes, good idea. I shall try and get a few more "arty" pictures perhaps.
I've never gone to any socials before precisely because I thought it would be pretty much all single males and I wouldn't much be in demand. Perhaps a bit of reverse psychology going on there! |
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