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Getting permission
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I have joined the site as my sex life at home has deteriorated massively due to menopause and other health problems lm loving it here but not really happy sneaking around any advice on how to try to get permission to play ? |
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By *essTTWoman 16 weeks ago
Birmingham |
The point of asking for permission has passed.
You should probably own up that you have already been playing away and let her decide if she wants to be complicit in that or if she wants to be with someone who doesn't cheat while she's poorly at home. |
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You say you’re respectful
Are you?
When your wife has ill health and going through the menopause you would rather be out cheating than supporting her or helping her.
Sex isn’t all that you know. Finding someone who loves you for all your plusses and negatives, for me, would win every day of the week
As for how you tell her, too late, you’re already doing it. There is a saying
“Too late to close the stable door once the horse has bolted” |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 16 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away |
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You should have maybe asked her before you got your 4 veries op.
Best thing to do is sit and have some open communication, tell her you still have your needs but be sympathetic to her issues too.
Ask can you seek fun outside of your relationship, the only thing is if she says no, will you be able to stop using fab and cheating on her?. |
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"I have joined the site as my sex life at home has deteriorated massively due to menopause and other health problems lm loving it here but not really happy sneaking around any advice on how to try to get permission to play ? "
sit down with your wife. Explain that you love her (assuming you do, don't lie about that) but you're unhappy with no sex life. Ask her how she feels about it (very important this bit) and can you work together to find solutions. This could include ways that the two of you can regain some intimacy as well as you suggesting that she allows you to seek sex elsewhere.
There's no way of doing this without causing a major shift in your relationship but imagine how your wife would feel if she found out you were doing it anyway.
Best of luck to you both |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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"I have joined the site as my sex life at home has deteriorated massively due to menopause and other health problems lm loving it here but not really happy sneaking around any advice on how to try to get permission to play ? "
Carry on as you were is my advice. It'll not end well if you talk with her about it now, so just keep playing the field my friend. Don't hate the player, hate the game!  |
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" Don't hate the player, hate the game!
What does that mean in this context?
Absolutely nothing, just sounds good doesn't it!  "
😂 I might use it next time I'm in a sticky situation to disarm someone |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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" Don't hate the player, hate the game!
What does that mean in this context?
Absolutely nothing, just sounds good doesn't it!
😂 I might use it next time I'm in a sticky situation to disarm someone "
I'm not sure it'll do anything if it's a sticky situation my mind has gone to  |
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" Don't hate the player, hate the game!
What does that mean in this context?
Absolutely nothing, just sounds good doesn't it!
😂 I might use it next time I'm in a sticky situation to disarm someone
I'm not sure it'll do anything if it's a sticky situation my mind has gone to "
🤔 |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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Clearly reality has passed you by. Health issues creep up on you. By the time you realise there's a problem you haven't had sex young years. Joining somthing like this site is far from cheating |
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"Clearly reality has passed you by. Health issues creep up on you. By the time you realise there's a problem you haven't had sex young years. Joining somthing like this site is far from cheating"
How is it far from cheating when your meeting people and looking for sex behind your partner's back never mind flashing your cock to anyone who'll look, I'm not sure a partner of someone here behind ones back would agree.
It most certainly is cheating, anything you have to hide, lie about is cheating.
Mrs |
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"Clearly reality has passed you by. Health issues creep up on you. By the time you realise there's a problem you haven't had sex young years. Joining somthing like this site is far from cheating"
So what’s your definition of cheating then? |
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By *lueLotusWoman 16 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"I have joined the site as my sex life at home has deteriorated massively due to menopause and other health problems lm loving it here but not really happy sneaking around any advice on how to try to get permission to play ?
sit down with your wife. Explain that you love her (assuming you do, don't lie about that) but you're unhappy with no sex life. Ask her how she feels about it (very important this bit) and can you work together to find solutions. This could include ways that the two of you can regain some intimacy as well as you suggesting that she allows you to seek sex elsewhere.
There's no way of doing this without causing a major shift in your relationship but imagine how your wife would feel if she found out you were doing it anyway.
Best of luck to you both"
This ^
And kudos for being real about it and asking for advice. |
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"As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away "
Love this advice! I'm quite certain a lot (not all and this is a very female centric comment - I know  ) of marriages would be saved if men knew how much these things really matter and will add to your deteriorating sex life. Spoil her, especially if you have children, sort out childcare and book a weekend, for those who may not want that as a surprise, tell them that you're going to sort it but they need to give you dates ect!! |
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Don't think I'd own up to your past meets or the fact you're on a sex site but I'd certainly discuss your wants and needs with your wife.
Tell her you miss having sex with her, tell her you still love her and find her sexy and if there is anything she needs or wants, not necessarily in a sexual content.
Don't threaten or impose, just chat and be willing to take time.
Maybe introduce some gentle intimate contact.
If you still love your wife and want your relationship to florish and survive, it will need honest conversations, a realisation that maybe the result will not be what you have in mind and then the decision moving forward is a difficult road.
Sadly, sometimes honesty is not the best policy, keeping your counsel is the best way forward.
Good luck to you and your wife. |
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By *ucka39Man 16 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Just be open and honest
Remember that it's your choice what you do and any impact it has but being honest is important to yourself rather than having guilt.
Just explain to your other half how you feel |
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"As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away
Love this advice! I'm quite certain a lot (not all and this is a very female centric comment - I know ) of marriages would be saved if men knew how much these things really matter and will add to your deteriorating sex life. Spoil her, especially if you have children, sort out childcare and book a weekend, for those who may not want that as a surprise, tell them that you're going to sort it but they need to give you dates ect!! "
I do think this works both ways.
The responsibility to make a relationship work is on both. Stereotypes of role are changing pr have changed and men also look after kids and cook and clean, there’s no such thing anymore that the male has to be the main breadwinner
I work crazy long hours, and if I was in a relationship, would love for my “other half” to book a night away or a date night |
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I informed my spouse that since sex was not available at home, I would be pursuing said activities outside of the marriage, obviously being safe and taking all precautions.
He said yes, that is fine.
It all sounds very easy but it was a process that took about 7 years to complete. It was endless talks on how I was not happy, promises of improvement, marriage counselling, a brief separation, more talks, more marriage counselling…an open marriage proposal (from me), nothing worked.
Until I got tired of talking about it and sneaking. I do not need permission. I informed him and he is aware of the situation. I always tell him where I will be and when I will be expected back.
Since then, our relationship has become really harmonious. I am not horny and resentful. He feels that a weight has been lifted off him with no pressure to have sex and we are still the best of friends and life partners. |
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"As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away
Love this advice! I'm quite certain a lot (not all and this is a very female centric comment - I know ) of marriages would be saved if men knew how much these things really matter and will add to your deteriorating sex life. Spoil her, especially if you have children, sort out childcare and book a weekend, for those who may not want that as a surprise, tell them that you're going to sort it but they need to give you dates ect!!
I do think this works both ways.
The responsibility to make a relationship work is on both. Stereotypes of role are changing pr have changed and men also look after kids and cook and clean, there’s no such thing anymore that the male has to be the main breadwinner
I work crazy long hours, and if I was in a relationship, would love for my “other half” to book a night away or a date night "
I fully agree with you and that's why I said that I knew that my comment was female centric. |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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"I informed my spouse that since sex was not available at home, I would be pursuing said activities outside of the marriage, obviously being safe and taking all precautions.
He said yes, that is fine.
It all sounds very easy but it was a process that took about 7 years to complete. It was endless talks on how I was not happy, promises of improvement, marriage counselling, a brief separation, more talks, more marriage counselling…an open marriage proposal (from me), nothing worked.
Until I got tired of talking about it and sneaking. I do not need permission. I informed him and he is aware of the situation. I always tell him where I will be and when I will be expected back.
Since then, our relationship has become really harmonious. I am not horny and resentful. He feels that a weight has been lifted off him with no pressure to have sex and we are still the best of friends and life partners. "
That's great to hear, would definitely give you a load! |
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"I informed my spouse that since sex was not available at home, I would be pursuing said activities outside of the marriage, obviously being safe and taking all precautions.
He said yes, that is fine.
It all sounds very easy but it was a process that took about 7 years to complete. It was endless talks on how I was not happy, promises of improvement, marriage counselling, a brief separation, more talks, more marriage counselling…an open marriage proposal (from me), nothing worked.
Until I got tired of talking about it and sneaking. I do not need permission. I informed him and he is aware of the situation. I always tell him where I will be and when I will be expected back.
Since then, our relationship has become really harmonious. I am not horny and resentful. He feels that a weight has been lifted off him with no pressure to have sex and we are still the best of friends and life partners. "
This must have been difficult and yet you have shown that it can be done. |
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"As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away
Love this advice! I'm quite certain a lot (not all and this is a very female centric comment - I know ) of marriages would be saved if men knew how much these things really matter and will add to your deteriorating sex life. Spoil her, especially if you have children, sort out childcare and book a weekend, for those who may not want that as a surprise, tell them that you're going to sort it but they need to give you dates ect!!
I do think this works both ways.
The responsibility to make a relationship work is on both. Stereotypes of role are changing pr have changed and men also look after kids and cook and clean, there’s no such thing anymore that the male has to be the main breadwinner
I work crazy long hours, and if I was in a relationship, would love for my “other half” to book a night away or a date night "
Sure but this advice was specifically for a man whose wife is going through the menopause which is a truly horrible time for a lot of women. So however much you would like your female partner to spoil you isn't really relevant here as menopause isn't something you're going to experience. |
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"As somebody who’s spent the last 10 years going through menopause, it’s not fun at all, I’ve only been on hrt 2 years, I’ve had some many different patches & pils to try, I’m still not where I should be.
I can’t tell you how mentally & physically drained you feel every.single.day!!
Why not step up, do all the housework & chores, pamper her, put the work in with the woman you’re supposed to ‘love’, maybe she won’t be so exhausted & can give you the time you crave & not risking her health & sexual health more by playing away
Love this advice! I'm quite certain a lot (not all and this is a very female centric comment - I know ) of marriages would be saved if men knew how much these things really matter and will add to your deteriorating sex life. Spoil her, especially if you have children, sort out childcare and book a weekend, for those who may not want that as a surprise, tell them that you're going to sort it but they need to give you dates ect!!
I do think this works both ways.
The responsibility to make a relationship work is on both. Stereotypes of role are changing pr have changed and men also look after kids and cook and clean, there’s no such thing anymore that the male has to be the main breadwinner
I work crazy long hours, and if I was in a relationship, would love for my “other half” to book a night away or a date night
Sure but this advice was specifically for a man whose wife is going through the menopause which is a truly horrible time for a lot of women. So however much you would like your female partner to spoil you isn't really relevant here as menopause isn't something you're going to experience. "
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I wished my ex husband had spoken to me more about how he had felt,when I had health issues.maybe we could have saved a marriage after being together for 19yrs.
I would have been happy if we had gone to clubs together.
You need to sit down and be honest with her,if u can't say it to her,maybe write it down how you feel then give her time.
Trust me having the menopause is bad,lack of sex is one and I used to love sex,love feeling sexy.
Right now all I want to do is sleep,and stop having hot flashes and night sweat.
Oh if my ex husband does read this,just be honest with yourself,are you really happy with your life.
You only get one life.
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