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Potential Partner involvement advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP 29 weeks ago
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Bit of a question here. I've been seeing this woman for a couple of months now on and off & she has often talked about having more in her sex life.
I told her about this and she was interested but I wouldn't say overly keen. Does anyone have any advice on the right word to say or action. |
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If she's interested then have conversations about it rather than trying to get her involved. When I first met Paul he was open about being a swinger and I was intrigued so it made for many interesting discussions. I then realised I wanted to get involved and only then did the discussions change to more of a protective nature, guidance, talking about potential implications etc and then some weeks or months later we started in the lifestyle together. |
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I don't think there are right words, you can only discuss it and let her make up her own mind..
Maybe suggest watching one of the swinging programs together or let her bob on your profile and have a peep and see what she thinks. |
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By *oxy jWoman 29 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
"If you didn't meet her here, I'd say it's probably better to assume that she's not interested in swinging "
most swinging couples never met via the scene so not sure why you said that very few meet via the scene and just like in normal relationship alot dont work...
op theres no magic theres just you and your girlfriend if she not interested then shes simply not interested |
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Invite her to a club, make it clear there is no pressure to take part in anything and that you will leave at anytime she wants to. Some will say it's in at the deep end but with above caveats it's just dipping the metaphorical toe. Good luck. |
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"If you didn't meet her here, I'd say it's probably better to assume that she's not interested in swinging "
As Foxy suggests, why would you say “… it’s probably better to assume she’s not interested ….” ? |
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To answer your question OP, you’d have to take a leap of faith and tell her about your personal relationship with swinging; her response is her response, there’s no key words, she’s either intrigued/interested or she’s not.
I’ve had both scenarios in the past, a short term relationship died on the vine within weeks of me telling her I was a swinger; she had zero interest in the concept and it changed her perception of me entirely; fine, as I wasn’t prepared to be monogamous with her or anyone else at the time.
Paradoxically, I had the same conversation months later with another short term relationship (at that point anyways) and I introduced her to the scene, its many qualities and complexities. We were together for four years.
Ultimately, you have to decide how important swinging is to you personally. |
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"If you didn't meet her here, I'd say it's probably better to assume that she's not interested in swinging
As Foxy suggests, why would you say “… it’s probably better to assume she’s not interested ….” ?"
Because the majority of the population aren't |
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"If you didn't meet her here, I'd say it's probably better to assume that she's not interested in swinging
As Foxy suggests, why would you say “… it’s probably better to assume she’s not interested ….” ?
Because the majority of the population aren't "
Ok then! |
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As has been posted previously this is a leap of faith. What I would suggest is going to a ‘sex club’ as a bit of excitement. A chance for her to wear some great lingerie, fuck me heels and walk around in a sexy environment. Make it clear it is just to see what goes on, a drink and a chat, to maybe have sex when someone is watching, leave whenever she wants… it’s probably the least intimidating introduction to the swinging scene.
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you both. |
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OP it's a difficult one to answer. You said you told her about the lifestyle. But that is so vague and generic doesn't tell us anything!
But as others have said there is no one size fits all. You can show her profile and tell her you are a swinger; discuss it whilst watching the 4OD documentary etc.
Personally we started by going to a club. Purple Mamba was ideal. A small boutique type club. Very friendly and not too 'in your face'. In fact if you check I think they often run 'Intro to the lifestyle' events.
The key is to be honest and communication.
Good luck
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Personally I think taking someone who isn't 'overly interested ' to a club would probably put them right off.
I'm not overly interested in football. Taking me to a match wouldn't suddenly make me more so
If men (and it often is men) can't talk to their partner about swinging it's unlikely to happen. Many women like to feel emotionally validated. If a guy can open up to them about something like this in a loving, supportive way it might not make swinging more likely but it would make a woman feel more confident and secure to explore more sexually.
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"Bit of a question here. I've been seeing this woman for a couple of months now on and off & she has often talked about having more in her sex life.
I told her about this and she was interested but I wouldn't say overly keen. Does anyone have any advice on the right word to say or action. "
You state "not overly keen".
To me that reads its only bedroom talk or you have a long way to go before anything can happen in the cold light of day.
I'd maybe recommend a club or social visit. Agree to nothing happening, just a visit, a few drinks and back home.
That's what Paul and I did at first, infact we went to a club 3 times before any fun and the rest, as they say, is history.
Take your time, don't be pushed. |
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"As has been posted previously this is a leap of faith. What I would suggest is going to a ‘sex club’ as a bit of excitement. A chance for her to wear some great lingerie, fuck me heels and walk around in a sexy environment. Make it clear it is just to see what goes on, a drink and a chat, to maybe have sex when someone is watching, leave whenever she wants… it’s probably the least intimidating introduction to the swinging scene.
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you both."
I can't see the same woman being overly interested in that either |
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^^ as opposed to
Person A : I'm not overly keen on cheese.
Person H : I love and respect you and your answers won't change how I feel about you. Can you explain why that is? I understand that cheese might not be your thing but could we chat about the different varieties and see if there's one you'd be interested in trying. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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"If you didn't meet her here, I'd say it's probably better to assume that she's not interested in swinging "
I met someone off here who introduced it to me .... however they did it too soon in our relationship and we didn't have the proper foundations on which to grow into swinging together.. it just felt like he was more interestedin swinging than me ...... we ended up splitting and I went solo.
So I would caution diving in too soon when you've only seen her a couple of months .... |
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