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Dead on here
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention  "
The forums are filled with great advice and guidance for how to do well here as a single guy. There are many who do REALLY well.
Cal |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
Fab is great! I’ve been using the site for over 11 years now, and continue to enjoy my time in here 
Clubs are shite as a single guy. I’ve never felt so unwanted…..  |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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I can't complain I have had meets since I have been back.
A hell of alot of people don't make am effort anymore.
You wrote a lovely thoughtful, fun message and all you get back is "how are you"
WHAT I'm I ment to do with that.
Yes couples and single women hardly make an effort.
Clubs are the best place for meets. SIMPLE. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
Certainly would agree, club meets seem to be the be all and end all for quite a lot on here. If you struggle to get to a club then your're a little up the creek without a paddle. |
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"I can't complain I have had meets since I have been back.
A hell of alot of people don't make am effort anymore.
You wrote a lovely thoughtful, fun message and all you get back is "how are you"
WHAT I'm I ment to do with that.
Yes couples and single women hardly make an effort.
Clubs are the best place for meets. SIMPLE."
We get lots of 2 or 3 words messages from single guys. We reply back trying to engage with the guy to get another 2 or 3 word reply back. So yes, what's the point? Now we don't even bother if they've not made any effort and/or worse not even read our profile.
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
Certainly would agree, club meets seem to be the be all and end all for quite a lot on here. If you struggle to get to a club then your're a little up the creek without a paddle."
At least with club visits you’re likely to get to actual meet someone, rather than being let down at the last minute, or even worse, no shows. |
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You need to get ourself out there, become part of the community, get your face known. With the number of single guys on here simply looking for a legover rather than wanting to engage with the community it's not just going to fall into your lap.
I started 18 years ago as a single guy and by engaging with people in the chat rooms, at socials, clubs, parties etc I soon became known as a genuine guy and had plenty of fun meeting people.
As a couple (with various different partners) the same applies, it's not just single men who struggle.
Standing out above the crowd, engaging with people and demonstrating a willingness to be part of the community will get you a lot further than the normal one line message with dick pic, which we just delete. It's not all about what's in your pants. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
I mean it kind of explains itself why it's best to go to a club if you're struggling on here.
As a woman I don't get any opportunity to browse the men on this site myself - most of time spent is clearing the inbox of guys that don't fit what I want or put zero effort in.
I've found this year so far has been my best on fab for the people I've decided to meet and are now happy regulars - but it's taken me 5 years of learning how to vet for what I want.
Getting to the clubs gets you known in the community and I trust club veris over personal ones most of the time.
Says alot about you if you can brave it, get out and socialise and honestly just gets you noticed a lot more  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 28 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I mean it kind of explains itself why it's best to go to a club if you're struggling on here.
As a woman I don't get any opportunity to browse the men on this site myself - most of time spent is clearing the inbox of guys that don't fit what I want or put zero effort in.
I've found this year so far has been my best on fab for the people I've decided to meet and are now happy regulars - but it's taken me 5 years of learning how to vet for what I want.
Getting to the clubs gets you known in the community and I trust club veris over personal ones most of the time.
Says alot about you if you can brave it, get out and socialise and honestly just gets you noticed a lot more "
I agree with most of the sentiments here, but disagree that women can't go looking themselves.
Blocking incoming mail from men and being proactive in what you seek generally yields better results, is more time efficient and prevents unwanted contact from those who don't suit your tastes.
But yes. Community and networking are the two biggest drivers to enjoying swinging life.  |
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By *heelerMan 28 weeks ago
Northants |
"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
I do agree it's not as good as it was but you do have to put the effort in to get any luck and I find females and couples locally are harder to connect with then ones miles away not sure if they are more at ease knowing we'd never meet. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I do agree it's not as good as it was but you do have to put the effort in to get any luck and I find females and couples locally are harder to connect with then ones miles away not sure if they are more at ease knowing we'd never meet."
This is exactly what I'm finding I get more response from people further away not much but more from round here, I think people are put off in case we bump into each other at Tesco looking at the cucumbers....
But yeah something I've noticed in the people locally is they're typically sticking to their little groups they are all friends with each other which is fair enough because it's safer and pretty much reflective of human nature anyway, but one irk or something said and you're dead in the water all round feels.
Could be just a rural thing I don't know only about 15 people live around here and weathers crap so maybe everyone's staying inside WFH (wanking from home) . |
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With three meets in the last year I'd say you're doing pretty well.
This site is about 90% single guys (a lot of them desperate and horny)so if you're looking to meet online via messaging on here you're going to need to stand out and make an impression (hard to do via messaging I know) Most women get 300+ messages a day. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I mean it kind of explains itself why it's best to go to a club if you're struggling on here.
As a woman I don't get any opportunity to browse the men on this site myself - most of time spent is clearing the inbox of guys that don't fit what I want or put zero effort in.
I've found this year so far has been my best on fab for the people I've decided to meet and are now happy regulars - but it's taken me 5 years of learning how to vet for what I want.
Getting to the clubs gets you known in the community and I trust club veris over personal ones most of the time.
Says alot about you if you can brave it, get out and socialise and honestly just gets you noticed a lot more
I agree with most of the sentiments here, but disagree that women can't go looking themselves.
Blocking incoming mail from men and being proactive in what you seek generally yields better results, is more time efficient and prevents unwanted contact from those who don't suit your tastes.
But yes. Community and networking are the two biggest drivers to enjoying swinging life. "
True, I sort of agree but I'd say if all us women decided to block incoming mail so we could take the time to browse there will be a million and one complaining males on here whining how they can't even message us let alone get a reply.
It's a no win, plus a few of my meets have been from one very good intro messages I've eventually got around to seeing so I do prefer leaving my messages open even if it is overwhelming.
Though my messages are currently off for a little break, it's been a busy few months in the best way.
Oh and to reply to the others - yeah 3 meets in that amount of time I'd say that OP really has no idea how lucky and successful on here that makes him let hope this forum post doesn't damage his chances going forward |
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By *abioMan 28 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
2 different things here…
1) as others have said… expectations! 3 meets in a year is not bad going
2) the site is only one piece of a much larger puzzle… so as others have said… go to clubs! Go to the organised socials
More places you can get yourself known, the more avenues you have, the more you stand out and differentiate yourself from other people
In a way just relying on the site to do everything for you is kinda lazy! |
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By *oxy jWoman 28 weeks ago
somerset |
so many join expecting easy sex and thats not what swinging is..
add in the fact that 99% of the site is men that includes all the fake accounts to see the scene gives the perception that its a big scene but in reality its really not the amount of true swinging couples and women is very low indeed
i dunno what the total number of accounts are on fab 100,000 200,000 ?? what ever it is very few of them swing |
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By *bi HaiveMan 28 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I mean it kind of explains itself why it's best to go to a club if you're struggling on here.
As a woman I don't get any opportunity to browse the men on this site myself - most of time spent is clearing the inbox of guys that don't fit what I want or put zero effort in.
I've found this year so far has been my best on fab for the people I've decided to meet and are now happy regulars - but it's taken me 5 years of learning how to vet for what I want.
Getting to the clubs gets you known in the community and I trust club veris over personal ones most of the time.
Says alot about you if you can brave it, get out and socialise and honestly just gets you noticed a lot more
I agree with most of the sentiments here, but disagree that women can't go looking themselves.
Blocking incoming mail from men and being proactive in what you seek generally yields better results, is more time efficient and prevents unwanted contact from those who don't suit your tastes.
But yes. Community and networking are the two biggest drivers to enjoying swinging life.
True, I sort of agree but I'd say if all us women decided to block incoming mail so we could take the time to browse there will be a million and one complaining males on here whining how they can't even message us let alone get a reply.
It's a no win, plus a few of my meets have been from one very good intro messages I've eventually got around to seeing so I do prefer leaving my messages open even if it is overwhelming.
Though my messages are currently off for a little break, it's been a busy few months in the best way.
Oh and to reply to the others - yeah 3 meets in that amount of time I'd say that OP really has no idea how lucky and successful on here that makes him let hope this forum post doesn't damage his chances going forward "
I've always said, do what works for you.
And never worry about people complaining. That's a 'them' issue not a 'you' issue. There are plenty of guys happy to wait for incoming mail rather than send and wait for a reply.
They rarely moan. In a bad way, anyway...... |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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I can’t relate. I get lots of messages daily from men, women and couples. Can’t reply to a lot of them. And I don’t even have a face pic.
I think the key is to message women like
You would if you saw them in the street. Lots of guys (not saying you) will start off with “fancy a fuck”
Or some shit like that. Yes this is not your average site but respect and being genuine have gotten me on with lots of people in the past.
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
I would also add that actually READ the girls profile. How do you feel you fit into what they want and need? Most guys again will tell her what THEY need. Or worse just copy and paste and hope something sticks. I don’t message many people but when I have i have read and understood their wants and needs and figured how to message with what I can do to meet their expectations. |
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Attending clubs certainly helps in your journey on here, according to those who have attended clubs. (I don't attend clubs)
Likewise, attending fab organised socials is a great way to meet and make connections.
If it's dead on here then it hasn't affected my enjoyment and experience on Fab and meeting women. This place is alive and kicking...•°°• |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"so many join expecting easy sex and thats not what swinging is..
add in the fact that 99% of the site is men that includes all the fake accounts to see the scene gives the perception that its a big scene but in reality its really not the amount of true swinging couples and women is very low indeed
i dunno what the total number of accounts are on fab 100,000 200,000 ?? what ever it is very few of them swing "
This is my 3rd stint on here in 5yrs had a total of 4 meets direct off here in that time ,it is hard work with plenty of knock backs but OP not doing to bad really. What i will say is each time i come back the amount of fake profiles(especially couples)rises each time. More than once a meet has been arranged with a couple only to be told by the hubby that wife cant make it etc but he will be happy to meet!.
Can usually spot them now to be honest only been back less than 3 weeks and already found 3 of them!. |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"I can’t relate. I get lots of messages daily from men, women and couples. Can’t reply to a lot of them. And I don’t even have a face pic.
I think the key is to message women like
You would if you saw them in the street. Lots of guys (not saying you) will start off with “fancy a fuck”
Or some shit like that. Yes this is not your average site but respect and being genuine have gotten me on with lots of people in the past.
"
Agree...just because this is a swinging sex site it doesn't mean we all want blunt msgs saying 'want to fuck?' I personally enjoy chatting as friends xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"I can't complain I have had meets since I have been back.
A hell of alot of people don't make am effort anymore.
You wrote a lovely thoughtful, fun message and all you get back is "how are you"
WHAT I'm I ment to do with that.
Yes couples and single women hardly make an effort.
Clubs are the best place for meets. SIMPLE."
I don’t think you can totally blame Couples and single women. 90% of all our messages received will start with “hey great profile…” and go on to mention something we state we don’t want or can’t do or ask to meet the same day even though ours says we can’t.
So as much as you want to say it’s couples and single women, the guys on here make it really hard for genuine guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I would also add that actually READ the girls profile. How do you feel you fit into what they want and need? Most guys again will tell her what THEY need. Or worse just copy and paste and hope something sticks. I don’t message many people but when I have i have read and understood their wants and needs and figured how to message with what I can do to meet their expectations. "
Now that is the message people need to take notice of! If you read a profile, feel you can facilitate what they would like to do then ultimately everyone is winning because you like what they have, they like what you have. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention
I mean it kind of explains itself why it's best to go to a club if you're struggling on here.
As a woman I don't get any opportunity to browse the men on this site myself - most of time spent is clearing the inbox of guys that don't fit what I want or put zero effort in.
I've found this year so far has been my best on fab for the people I've decided to meet and are now happy regulars - but it's taken me 5 years of learning how to vet for what I want.
Getting to the clubs gets you known in the community and I trust club veris over personal ones most of the time.
Says a lot about you if you can brave it, get out and socialise and honestly just gets you noticed a lot more "
I would agree, to an extent, that if a guy is struggling in Fab, and has a club on his doorstep, then there's no reason not to try visiting a club.
I have to disagree though, based on my experiences of being a single guy in several clubs (including 4 visits to TH), that it gets you anywhere in the 'community', and I would never recommend the club scene to a mate.
The OP does have 3 veris, but 2 are most definitely from club hosts, which I always regard as 'silent sales pitches' for whichever club they visited. They do however, confirm he matches his profile....
I do well in Fab, but I'm lucky to live in an area devoid of a club on it's doorstep. This means that people locally put more effort in to using Fab. I also only message profiles I feel I genuinely match, and I write messages just as if I'm talking face to face with the person.
What works for me, won't necessarily work for someone else though, but never think clubs are the only option....  |
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It is incredibly difficult and frustrating on here for single men to get meets and that is largely down to the sheer volume of them!
If you are a genuine single male then I suggest you show a face picture and be much more specific about what you are looking for.
When messaging people don't use one sentence. Write a detailed message that actually relates to the profile you are interested in! Before we blocked single men we would get dozens of single line messages daily! We deleted every single one as we felt if they didn't want to put any effort into the message they weren't worth talking to! First impressions are everything! As humans we make our mind up about someone in the first few seconds!
We would also suggest you try social events if you struggle with clubs. At either talk to people but don't be pushy! Certainly don't follow people round without speaking! That's what stalkers do and you'll get nowhere! |
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"It is incredibly difficult and frustrating on here for single men to get meets and that is largely down to the sheer volume of them!
If you are a genuine single male then I suggest you show a face picture and be much more specific about what you are looking for.
When messaging people don't use one sentence. Write a detailed message that actually relates to the profile you are interested in! Before we blocked single men we would get dozens of single line messages daily! We deleted every single one as we felt if they didn't want to put any effort into the message they weren't worth talking to! First impressions are everything! As humans we make our mind up about someone in the first few seconds!
We would also suggest you try social events if you struggle with clubs. At either talk to people but don't be pushy! Certainly don't follow people round without speaking! That's what stalkers do and you'll get nowhere!"
This. 100%. |
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"So bored and dead on here currently, feel unless your attending clubs it’s hard to catch anyone’s attention "
With all of the fake accounts and fantasists on here who are only here for a wank, it ruins it for the genuine people (not exclusive to single guys).
As a result we will only meet single guys in club environments as they have all been checked and verified (most clubs check) and it cuts out the wankers, mostly.
It is a shame that it ruins the fun for others. |
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