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Club bi nights for a straight guy.
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Forgive me if this is a silly question, but I quite often want to visit a club when I am on my travels up and down the country, only to find it is a bi night. I have always been put off from going as a straight guy because I feel that any ladies there probably aren't interested in meeting men.
So am I being silly and overthinking this? |
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Sounds like you're under no illusions that bi night really translates as bi guy night. Because in all reality across the scene every night is bi woman night. No one bats an eyelid when its woman on woman, its encouraged. But the male experience is different still in this day and in this scene. There is still stigma on this scene. There are still many people, clubs and nights where open man on man action causes a negative and uncomfortable reaction from some men and women. And guys and their partners want a night where the know there'll be no judgment, disgust or ignorant response. They want to be feel free and uninhibited. Just other guys (single or part of a couple) who are likewise open to a range of play involving at least some element of man on man activity. So when you put yourself in those shoes you can see the importance of the night and space?
So should you go as a straight male? I think it's not a great idea. First because your presence (without sounding rude) at best is not particularly of use and second it may be a bit damaging to mood of the environment. And also ask how successful will you be sniping off action with ladies from the fringes of a bi night?
Also check the rules not every club is the same. For instance a club we go to their bi is only for bi or gay singles or couples where one is and the other is bi freindly (they are keen to stress the other non bi partner is totally OK with the presence of same sex male activity).
Although we can technically go to the bi night with a bi fem (and have, we where staying over a few days) it's very much about guys getting to indulge in open action with other guys without fear. I really don't think that one night a week is much to ask for? Until the enlighten day there is no need for a bi night (getting there, some clubs more than others). So do you really want to go as a straight guy alone to a bi night? What would it do to the atmosphere of a bi night if it was full of straight guys? Would you in the shoes of a bi guy feel as free and comfortable knowing a fair few of the guys on the night where straight? I think by your statement you're under no illusions of what the focus of the night is and I get the frustration of the way the nights work out. So I'm not saying don't go if the club allows it. But definitely just consider the points I've made in you decision.
Mr
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"Forgive me if this is a silly question, but I quite often want to visit a club when I am on my travels up and down the country, only to find it is a bi night. I have always been put off from going as a straight guy because I feel that any ladies there probably aren't interested in meeting men.
So am I being silly and overthinking this? "
Not at all. I'm straight, so wouldn't consider attending a bi night at all. There's precious few women go to clubs as it is, why would you choose to go on a bi night, when the women there are most likely looking for other women? And would you be ok, being 'hit on' by other blokes?  |
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"Be honest with yourself before you go. Are you actually ok with seeing guys with guys? If you are go. If you’re not don’t. "
This, very much so! Because most bi nights are geared towards bi/bi-curious and gay men, not women. For the simple reason that ladies playing together are very much appreciated and sought after whereas men playing together are usually seen as off-putting or even offensive to some. That's why bi nights are supposed to be safe times and places for men to be true to their sexuality. Contrary to popular beliefs, bi nights are not full of lesbians getting it on! Also, a lot of women that go to bi nights do look for bi men rather than straight ones.
Some bi nights hosts have requirements that all single men who come to the event are openly bisexual/bi-curious on here and have meet veris- that's definitely the case for Spicy's bi night at Jaydees. Other hosts are more relaxed about the bisexuality of the attendees as long as they are respectful of any play they may witness.
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Thanks for the replies all. I have no problem seeing guys get together with each other, not like I haven’t seen that in my time in the scene anyway. It was more that I would be a square peg and wasting my time trying to meet women if I went. |
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"Forgive me if this is a silly question, but I quite often want to visit a club when I am on my travels up and down the country, only to find it is a bi night. I have always been put off from going as a straight guy because I feel that any ladies there probably aren't interested in meeting men.
So am I being silly and overthinking this? "
As a bisexual couple we find it a anoying when we go to a bi night and it’s full with straight men wanting to play with the woman.
These nights should be as they are described and for bisexual or bicurious people.... there’s plenty of straight nights to go to on any other night.
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"
As a bisexual couple we find it a anoying when we go to a bi night and it’s full with straight men wanting to play with the woman.
These nights should be as they are described and for bisexual or bicurious people.... there’s plenty of straight nights to go to on any other night.
"
This as well. Though I do go to bi nights with my straight partner, just because I don't drive and I have not managed to find a bi/bi-curious FB who'd be happy to go to bi nights with me (please note, this is NOT an invitation to message me directly). Yes, he would not get involved with a man when we're in a club together, but he is respectful and easy going, and we have "started the party off" on many occasions. |
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