FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > The Small Minority Of Successful Single Blokes v The Rest Of Us Unsuccessful Blokes On Fab.
The Small Minority Of Successful Single Blokes v The Rest Of Us Unsuccessful Blokes On Fab.
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"I’ve been here a while as well and had similar limited success. On the plus side I have met a few amazing women so perseverance pays off. My main bitch is when I craft a thought out message and get blocked without a response. Common courtesy I’m afraid is often lacking. Moan over. It is what it is and we men are in a huge majority I believe. Good luck to all of you. Andy" People are probably blocking so as not to facilitate an affair. | |||
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"I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials. "· This could be the issue: you need to be aiming this at "single blokes" and get their viewpoint on how they have found much success on here. Also... you're enquiring about how you wish to make an omelette but not prepared to break the egg  ...take a leap of faith and attend some socials. | |||
"I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Have you though about trying dogging OP? I've found it a surprisingly good way of meeting interesting people, and getting out in the fresh air of the countryside makes me feel invigorated and healthy. I often take a thermos of coffee, a bag of sandwiches and a packet of biscuits. Inviting someone to nibble on my gingernuts is a good way to break the ice and get talking! Remember though, always take your DoggingBlanket™©®, so many uses including giving shelter to a lady if it starts raining  | |||
" I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months" Are you writing them war and peace? Have you tried other approaches to your messages or is it the same thing over again expecting different results? Have you tried being more inventive, funny, letting your personality shine through in them, or making them engaging so the receiver has something to latch on and respond to? Have you tried engaging in the forums in a way that is not always self deprecating and complaining about lack of responses? I have had direct messages from people purely from forum interactions and even a meet. | |||
"If you’re not prepared to go to socials or clubs then with the greatest of respect you are going to struggle. I am not the best looking bloke, don’t have a six pack and am going bald. However I do alright here. The difference is I go to socials and network. You can write the most detailed message in the world but unless you get in front of people and talk and let them see what kind of guy you are then it means nothing. I now have a group of people that consist of couples, women and men who I class as friends. Some I have played with some I haven’t although it will and some I never will, but we are still friends. That group of people leads me to meeting other people as I am reccomended to them. Your profile and messages will only get you so far on fab, where there are so many variables that if you are standing in front of someone you don’t get. Maybe you need to rethink your approach because what you are doing is obviously not working for you. Socials are the best way, to meet people get genuine verifications and to build a core group of likeminded people, that you can be friendly with…." 100 percent this. | |||
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being flexible also helps if you can travel and accomadate even better and socials to know someone help. I never go on a social or meet for that matter with an expectation to play. Loads of good advise on here so hopefully you are sucking up all that knowledge. Happy fabbing everyone | |||
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"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Fab won't work if you don't use every opportunity and avenue it gives you. Fab won't work if you don't network. You're probably comparing yourself to men who do what you refuse to. *this concludes my Ted Talk | |||
"Hi OP, agree with most that you don't portray yourself well on your profile. However, if it makes you feel better I have spent hours on end trying to improve mine along with my DMs and 99.9% of the time I don't get a response. In fact, most read my DM but don't even check my profile right after which means I fail at the first hurdle of grabbing their attention with my pics or initial message. " A lot of women and couples use the ninja mode to check profiles (meaning we don't show on "looked at me" tab), to prevent the "you looked at my profile, faf?" kind of messages but also not to show how many times we perved someone's profile    | |||
" I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Many club goers and those that enjoy socials do also meet privately. The 'successful' guys you refer to often don't limit themselves to just sending online messages and use a variety of options to engage with others. The best way to get your personality across to others is face to face. The easiest way for someone to decide they may be interested in you is in person. Limiting your options to just sending messages and photos to other profiles will significantly hamper your opportunities. Clubs aren't for everyone. But discounting organised social events completely won't help you potentially get rhe meets you seek. Well worth considering. | |||
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" I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials .
Many club goers and those that enjoy socials do also meet privately.
The 'successful' guys you refer to often don't limit themselves to just sending online messages and use a variety of options to engage with others.
The best way to get your personality across to others is face to face. The easiest way for someone to decide they may be interested in you is in person.
Limiting your options to just sending messages and photos to other profiles will significantly hamper your opportunities.
Clubs aren't for everyone. But discounting organised social events completely won't help you potentially get rhe meets you seek.
Well worth considering. "I went to a group social a little while ago, met someone, we clicked, went back to mine and "had a coffee"
(Interestingly, reading both our profiles, we're not even looking for each other)
I could have sent a thousand messages and we'd never have met. | |||
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"A lot of women and couples use the ninja mode to check profiles (meaning we don't show on "looked at me" tab), to prevent the "you looked at my profile, faf?" kind of messages but also not to show how many times we perved someone's profile "I knew about the ninja mode but assumed only few use it, but another nice lady also alerted me to the fact a lot of women have it on so if you're both saying it then it's likely true and makes sense with that example you gave! But now I'm not sure if most women just find me unattractive or whether my profile is rubbish haha thanks for making me better aware though | |||
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"Hi Dave I haven’t read the whole thread but I recognise your name from the forum. I have replied on some of your other threads and I asked you a couple of questions on a thread once but I don’t think you replied. - imagine you joined a classic car club that met once a month in a pub. The people who go along to the pub will get invited to other stuff and form friendships. The people who don’t go will be peripheral. You’ve ruled out events (despite lots and lots of advice that you should go). The consequence of your decision is that you aren’t meeting people. You can’t really grumble about the inevitable consequences of your decisions. - I recognise your profile every time you pop up on the forum and all you seem to do is complain about your lack of success. It makes you sound like hard work when in fact you might be funny or charming. But it sounds a bit entitled and, frankly, entitled men are fucking terrifying when you’re alone with them. You might be an absolute joy to hang out with but I can’t tell because I’ve only ever heard you complaining, and the suggestion of entitlement feels like a red flag for scariness. I’m going to be really honest here (it’s well-intentioned). It feels like you’re stamping your feet because women haven’t responded to you. - you aren’t a known quantity. Getting meets is easier once you’ve had meets. Women know you’re probably a safe person once you’ve got lots of veris. You can get lots of veris by going to socials and chatting nicely. You’ve ruled this out, so you don’t have lots of veris. - I’d be concerned that you’d become over invested in me if we started chatting. I feel like agreeing to a coffee with you would come with loads of additional expectations on your part and loads of resentment if it didn’t go further. - I don’t think you’re a swinger (correct me if I’m wrong). You seem to be describing traditional dating. Do you want women in your life who like fucking loads of other people? Why a swinging website rather than a dating one? I would suggest you uploads a bunch of smiling photos (it’s nice you have face pics but you look pretty serious in lots of them). Next, ditch the complaining completely and forever. Start chatting nicely in the forum. Be funny and supportive. Do not get involved in moaning with other men. Drop the sense of entitlement. Make yourself really easy to have a single coffee with (without any other expectations and without later complaining that “it didn’t go anywhere”). Do not grumble any more. And acknowledge that, by ruling out all events, you’ve picked the single most difficult route to meeting women. Dee " so much truth in this. Socials socials socials. There is no point in constantly looking for advice then completely ignoring it when given. Socials are the best way forward, you need to put your big boy pants on and get yourself out there. | |||
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"There is absolutely no point comparing yourself to these ‘more successful’ guys you’ve found; I bet they will, at the very least, have built up some positive reputation by getting themselves known on the scene in some way. I’d agree with the other comments here: whether a guy can accommodate or not is completely irrelevant for me as for safety’s sake there would always be a social meet somewhere public first and then any subsequent meet would be on neutral ground - and the smoking is a hard limit. Any message would go unread because of the above. " Totally agree. Your reluctance to attend socials or visit clubs would be a no from us as you will not get yourself known around the swinging scene. Without getting your face known the chances of party invites would be almost zero. But to be fair you have stated you just want 1-2-1 meets, think it will be a hard slog. We found it difficult to out the fakers, timewasters and just plain drama queens, 1-2-1's took up lots of time whereas clubs, parties and holidays meant meeting loads of people at the same time giving us much more time to mingle and see who clicked with us. Good luck to you. | |||
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"Dee from Queer Kinky Couple has absolutely nailed it. If you read only one reply to this thread make it that one. Your name is familiar on these forums for all the wrong reasons and I'm really sad to say that. J" • Jülië is spot on. And so is Dee. | |||
"Thanks to everyone for the feedback. There is a lot of feedback regarding My profile write up and my photos, so I have hidden some photos I was advised to hide and kept the ones people said were good, , and I've done a complete profile re-write in an attempt to improve it having taken the feedback on board. " • | |||
"Hi Dave I haven’t read the whole thread but I recognise your name from the forum. I have replied on some of your other threads and I asked you a couple of questions on a thread once but I don’t think you replied. - imagine you joined a classic car club that met once a month in a pub. The people who go along to the pub will get invited to other stuff and form friendships. The people who don’t go will be peripheral. You’ve ruled out events (despite lots and lots of advice that you should go). The consequence of your decision is that you aren’t meeting people. You can’t really grumble about the inevitable consequences of your decisions. - I recognise your profile every time you pop up on the forum and all you seem to do is complain about your lack of success. It makes you sound like hard work when in fact you might be funny or charming. But it sounds a bit entitled and, frankly, entitled men are fucking terrifying when you’re alone with them. You might be an absolute joy to hang out with but I can’t tell because I’ve only ever heard you complaining, and the suggestion of entitlement feels like a red flag for scariness. I’m going to be really honest here (it’s well-intentioned). It feels like you’re stamping your feet because women haven’t responded to you. - you aren’t a known quantity. Getting meets is easier once you’ve had meets. Women know you’re probably a safe person once you’ve got lots of veris. You can get lots of veris by going to socials and chatting nicely. You’ve ruled this out, so you don’t have lots of veris. - I’d be concerned that you’d become over invested in me if we started chatting. I feel like agreeing to a coffee with you would come with loads of additional expectations on your part and loads of resentment if it didn’t go further. - I don’t think you’re a swinger (correct me if I’m wrong). You seem to be describing traditional dating. Do you want women in your life who like fucking loads of other people? Why a swinging website rather than a dating one? I would suggest you uploads a bunch of smiling photos (it’s nice you have face pics but you look pretty serious in lots of them). Next, ditch the complaining completely and forever. Start chatting nicely in the forum. Be funny and supportive. Do not get involved in moaning with other men. Drop the sense of entitlement. Make yourself really easy to have a single coffee with (without any other expectations and without later complaining that “it didn’t go anywhere”). Do not grumble any more. And acknowledge that, by ruling out all events, you’ve picked the single most difficult route to meeting women. Dee " Standing ovation | |||
"Thanks to everyone for the feedback. There is a lot of feedback regarding My profile write up and my photos, so I have hidden some photos I was advised to hide and kept the ones people said were good, , and I've done a complete profile re-write in an attempt to improve it having taken the feedback on board. " Your profile is much better, more positive and interesting, good choices with the photos too, kinda wish I was nearer! | |||
"Thanks to everyone for the feedback. There is a lot of feedback regarding My profile write up and my photos, so I have hidden some photos I was advised to hide and kept the ones people said were good, , and I've done a complete profile re-write in an attempt to improve it having taken the feedback on board. " Much better mate! Hopefully the start of good things to come | |||
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"Thanks to everyone for the feedback. There is a lot of feedback regarding My profile write up and my photos, so I have hidden some photos I was advised to hide and kept the ones people said were good, , and I've done a complete profile re-write in an attempt to improve it having taken the feedback on board. " write up is much better | |||
"I do understand the frustration of the OP as this site can be frustrating at times. As cuckold couple, we seem to just get a lot of messages from guys that in reality are just curious about our lifestyle and are either picture collectors or fantasists. Whilst the ratio of men to women/couples is quite high on here, I’d hazard a guess that the actual amount of men that want t meet and not just wank off to profiles is quite low. " Agree with this, it must be very frustrating for the op. But he's not alone, in 5 years on Fab, and countless messages to couples and singles we've never actually had a meet through Fab, it's just too difficult and there are a lot of fantasists out there. | |||
"I’ve been here a while as well and had similar limited success. On the plus side I have met a few amazing women so perseverance pays off. My main bitch is when I craft a thought out message and get blocked without a response. Common courtesy I’m afraid is often lacking. Moan over. It is what it is and we men are in a huge majority I believe. Good luck to all of you. Andy" No one had to reply to anyone just because they’ve sent a ‘thought out’ message. We’ve started blocking people who message who don’t fit what we’re looking for, it makes it easier to not come across one another again because fab has a nasty habit of deleting previous messages. We would block you because you’re married. C x | |||
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"I would agree with the majority that you should never compare yourself to others What do you define as success? For me it’s friendship I develop over time that turn into repeat meets and invites you get from others you have mutual connections with or people who may have passed on your details. Never assume you will be meeting every day and beating offers off wit a stick. People are by nature selective and what turns you on will not float others boats. Don’t chase things it’s not healthy. Just enjoy the fun you do have "Well thought out reply. Dave could learn by listening to the other guys on here not just the ladies replying. Mrs | |||
"Thanks to everyone for the feedback. There is a lot of feedback regarding My profile write up and my photos, so I have hidden some photos I was advised to hide and kept the ones people said were good, , and I've done a complete profile re-write in an attempt to improve it having taken the feedback on board. write up is much better" Thank You | |||
"Now this that's a massive improvement on your profile Dave. well done "Thank you so much, it's appreciated | |||
" Dave could learn by listening to the other guys on here not just the ladies replying. Mrs" To be honest, I prefer to listen to the advice from couples and single women as they are the ones I would like to meet, my target audience, so I value their opinion much more than the tiny minority of "Successful" single blokes on here who just like to brag and gloat about their success on here, basically making out that the majority of us single blokes without any meets are inferior to them. I've had so many replies in the forum in that form. It's so hard as it is on here for single blokes without the tiny minority of successful blokes looking down their noses at the rest of us who havnt been lucky enough to meet anyone. | |||
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"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "These other blokes could have gone to swingers clubs and impressed various females and couples ect ect , there will always be variants and there will always be some one who seems to be doing better by doing the smaller things different, my advice is to continue to be your self and it will happen eventually just like my pursuit of a couple | |||
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" Dave could learn by listening to the other guys on here not just the ladies replying. Mrs To be honest, I prefer to listen to the advice from couples and single women as they are the ones I would like to meet, my target audience, so I value their opinion much more than the tiny minority of "Successful" single blokes on here who just like to brag and gloat about their success on here, basically making out that the majority of us single blokes without any meets are inferior to them. I've had so many replies in the forum in that form. It's so hard as it is on here for single blokes without the tiny minority of successful blokes looking down their noses at the rest of us who havnt been lucky enough to meet anyone. " Great to get feedback off your target audience. Maybe the successful single blokes are the ones you should be listening to as well though? What makes them successful, what do they do that you don't? You have good profile pics, you're a good looking bloke and your biog edit is much better and with just a tiny change in your approach you’d probably get the success you're looking for. Go for it....... | |||
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Again, I’m not claiming to be the “big I am” - I’m really not. It’s just a few positive thoughts. It won’t make you a godlike figure on Fab, but it’ll make your experience here a more rewarding one.
Take care
LS | |||
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"There's fuck all birds on here.. mostly dirty old perv men pretending to be women so then see your cock" Why be on here then? | |||
"There's fuck all birds on here.. mostly dirty old perv men pretending to be women so then see your cock" __ I could not agree more. There's very few "birds for all to fuck". What I have found is many genuine women as singles or part of couples, who know what they want and like. Not hard to find or to spot, maybe you have not yet found how to approach them. | |||
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" Dave could learn by listening to the other guys on here not just the ladies replying. Mrs To be honest, I prefer to listen to the advice from couples and single women as they are the ones I would like to meet, my target audience, so I value their opinion much more than the tiny minority of "Successful" single blokes on here who just like to brag and gloat about their success on here, basically making out that the majority of us single blokes without any meets are inferior to them. I've had so many replies in the forum in that form. It's so hard as it is on here for single blokes without the tiny minority of successful blokes looking down their noses at the rest of us who havnt been lucky enough to meet anyone. " This approach really kinda has you working with one hand tied behind your back. Lots of nice guys on fab have replied to you in the many threads you've posted. | |||
"Reading the reply’s I think you need to stop smoking, learn to drive and be open minded enough to visit a few clubs and you may have more success "I don’t think anyone’s asking OP to change his smoking or wish to stay local - it’s more a case of acknowledging that smoking will narrow the pool and that an explanation of the reasoning behind ‘can’t travel’ (ie public-transport dependent, but happy to meet at a local pub/cafe/bar for a social) in his profile would really help. | |||
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"Dave I’ve replied to you on a couple of your threads giving constructive advice (which you’ve never acknowledged). If you’d messaged me (without trying to hook up) to say thanks for the advice and talking a bit about one of my interests from my profile, maybe we’d have had a nice chat. Your profile is better than it was and your photos are decent (as several people have said). Yet, here you are again moaning, and dismissing the advice the guys took time to offer. I think you’re somehow enjoying complaining. You get lots of attention in these threads and maybe that’s what you’re after. Your sense of entitlement is staggering. You seem to think that the entire way people “do” swinging and “do” Fab should change itself to fit the way you want it to work. It simply doesn’t work the way you want it to. Your irritation with the women who aren’t responding is creeping me out and, honestly, you’re in danger of sounding like an incel. For the final time, be more positive, find joy in small interactions and consider participating in events. All the best. I won’t reply to any of your threads again. Dee" Completely agree, the level of attention seeking from this guy is unbelievable, he isn’t looking to be a swinger and is on the wrong website in my opinion. He will never listen. | |||
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"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Tbh in my experience Traditional dating apps are 100 times easier than this place. Hence why I rarely use it now. Without sounding big headed. I can get sword and dates pretty easy on Tin der/ bumble etc. On here it's hard work haha. End of the day there's a million men on here to 10 women. Not to mention a lot o the women on here ain't great tbh. Use this place as an option but don't get hung up on it | |||
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"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "There is only a few males who are lucky otherwise rest of all are struggling here? | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women " Random made up statistic of day... | |||
"Dave, fab website is one small tool for people to use in their swinging journey. Friendships formed via "the scene" (ie clubs and socials) are a much bugger part of swinging. If you don't want to join in, that's your call, but don't expect the "results" you are hoping for. As an example..... If a person wants to get a bodybuilder physique, they join a gym and use plenty or all of the machines and facilities, and more often than not will find peers by joining in with the social life at their gym. They won't achieve the muscly body purely by sitting in the jacuzzi glaring at everyone, moaning about being flabby. The tools are there to really become a part of a great community of people having fun in the swinging world (smokers, fat people and non drivers are allowed too!). You choose not to use them and the endless whinging really isn't sexy. " I want a bodybuilder’s body and I’m prepared to eat the right food but I’m not going to join a gym or lift weights. | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women " • I'm sorry to learn that you represent the residual 95%. | |||
"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Perhaps they don't feel the need to post conspiracy theories in the forums ? That would alienate a very large number of people who are interested in no drama fun. | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women Random made up statistic of day..." not made up its facts | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women Random made up statistic of day... not made up its facts" 85.7% of facts are made up. | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women Random made up statistic of day... not made up its facts" I’d be interested to see the source of the facts, if you’d be so kind, please. | |||
"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women Random made up statistic of day... not made up its facts · I’d be interested to see the source of the facts, if you’d be so kind, please. " • I fear that you will be seeing Halley's Comet before you sêê any compelling facts. | |||
"I’ve been here a while as well and had similar limited success. On the plus side I have met a few amazing women so perseverance pays off. My main bitch is when I craft a thought out message and get blocked without a response. Common courtesy I’m afraid is often lacking. Moan over. It is what it is and we men are in a huge majority I believe. Good luck to all of you. Andy" As per site etiquette, no response is a response. Many people find it easier to block or delete, than give a no thank you, as that can invite a response ranging from 'why not' (which invites further responses) all the way up to 'well fuck you you ugly... never wanted to shag you anyway' When you have experienced that kind of negativity, it's no wonder many simply block who they are not interested in. | |||
"Dave I’ve replied to you on a couple of your threads giving constructive advice (which you’ve never acknowledged). If you’d messaged me (without trying to hook up) to say thanks for the advice and talking a bit about one of my interests from my profile, maybe we’d have had a nice chat. Your profile is better than it was and your photos are decent (as several people have said). Yet, here you are again moaning, and dismissing the advice the guys took time to offer. I think you’re somehow enjoying complaining. You get lots of attention in these threads and maybe that’s what you’re after. Your sense of entitlement is staggering. You seem to think that the entire way people “do” swinging and “do” Fab should change itself to fit the way you want it to work. It simply doesn’t work the way you want it to. Your irritation with the women who aren’t responding is creeping me out and, honestly, you’re in danger of sounding like an incel. For the final time, be more positive, find joy in small interactions and consider participating in events. All the best. I won’t reply to any of your threads again. Dee" Technically is an incel | |||
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"At the end of the day the ratios are not in the favour of solo males. Nothing you can do really about the maths. When anyone joins have to be realistic and not expect to suddenly be awash with pussy begging to be fucked. No one owes anyone anything on this site. If you aren't getting meets .... then tough... we aren't sex workers we are all here for our own pleasure and motivations. " Totally agree. What a lot of these men fail to realise is that this is a swinging site. There are lots of couples on here that have made a massive effort to really bond with their partner so that they are at the stage where bringing another person/couple into the bedroom is something they are secure in doing. It takes love, commitment, understanding, trust, built over years and then you join a swingers site which is full of single men moaning that no one will meet them! Our advice is go and find a women and build enough trust with them to join this site as a couple. | |||
"There's fuck all birds on here.. mostly dirty old perv men pretending to be women so then see your cock" The genuine ones will say no based on your very obvious attitude problem. We’re a genuine couple with a genuine WOMAN (not a bird - chirp chirp!) as our veris show. Maybe don’t share dick pics if you’re that concerned with other men seeing it. C x | |||
"At the end of the day the ratios are not in the favour of solo males. Nothing you can do really about the maths. When anyone joins have to be realistic and not expect to suddenly be awash with pussy begging to be fucked. No one owes anyone anything on this site. If you aren't getting meets .... then tough... we aren't sex workers we are all here for our own pleasure and motivations. Totally agree. What a lot of these men fail to realise is that this is a swinging site. There are lots of couples on here that have made a massive effort to really bond with their partner so that they are at the stage where bringing another person/couple into the bedroom is something they are secure in doing. It takes love, commitment, understanding, trust, built over years and then you join a swingers site which is full of single men moaning that no one will meet them! Our advice is go and find a women and build enough trust with them to join this site as a couple." I wish we could pin this to the top of the forums! | |||
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"What a lot of these men fail to realise is that this is a swinging site. There are lots of couples on here that have made a massive effort to really bond with their partner so that they are at the stage where bringing another person/couple into the bedroom is something they are secure in doing. It takes love, commitment, understanding, trust, built over years and then you join a swingers site which is full of single men moaning that no one will meet them!" One of the best things I've read in the forums....very true but rarely understood. | |||
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"Only 5% of men on Fab are successful with 80% of the women " I very much doubt that even one man on here has ever been successful with 80% of the women! | |||
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"Dave I’ve replied to you on a couple of your threads giving constructive advice (which you’ve never acknowledged). If you’d messaged me (without trying to hook up) to say thanks for the advice and talking a bit about one of my interests from my profile, maybe we’d have had a nice chat. Your profile is better than it was and your photos are decent (as several people have said). Yet, here you are again moaning, and dismissing the advice the guys took time to offer. I think you’re somehow enjoying complaining. You get lots of attention in these threads and maybe that’s what you’re after. Your sense of entitlement is staggering. You seem to think that the entire way people “do” swinging and “do” Fab should change itself to fit the way you want it to work. It simply doesn’t work the way you want it to. Your irritation with the women who aren’t responding is creeping me out and, honestly, you’re in danger of sounding like an incel. For the final time, be more positive, find joy in small interactions and consider participating in events. All the best. I won’t reply to any of your threads again. Dee" I do wonder that you are the “target audience” of he will actually listen or just find a reason to dismiss it! In a way it interesting that everything has to bend to suit him and yet he shows no flexibility whatsoever….. I do find it interesting in that he only wants the opinions of his “target audience “ and no from those who have been on the same journey so to speak… he may of learnt a few of the pitfalls to avoid… Listening… but not listening | |||
"I think this sums up a fundamental difference between how men, women and couples use this site. While some women and couples are looking for quick meets a lot of are here for more that’s why clubs and socials exist. The men who tend to do well here are putting themselves out there and meeting people to make connections not just in the hope to have sex there and then. Yes some of it is based on looks and good looking guys will naturally get attention but it’s harder to portray personality over messages that’s why some people like to meet first and get to know other people before anything else is arranged. " We’ve had some great experiences through here over the years and have good strong bonds. However, I just can’t get Lola to agree to a club. Shame as I just know she’d love it. Her last guy was desperate to take her to Birmingham for a weekend and she just wouldn’t have it. Maybe one day. lol | |||
"Get to clubs the private meets community is so small now its a lot of effort I have met a couple of solo males but only I'd say 2 of them were a good experience hence just wanting the couples only experience again " I disagree, speaking as a solo guy who has been to several clubs, and wondered why he bothered, as opposed to using Fab to meet genuine, likeminded people. I'll take the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny private meets community over the 'we tolerate solo guys in clubs for the Penis Pound, but clubs are really for couples' community any day  | |||
"Get to clubs the private meets community is so small now its a lot of effort I have met a couple of solo males but only I'd say 2 of them were a good experience hence just wanting the couples only experience again I disagree, speaking as a solo guy who has been to several clubs, and wondered why he bothered, as opposed to using Fab to meet genuine, likeminded people. I'll take the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny private meets community over the 'we tolerate solo guys in clubs for the Penis Pound, but clubs are really for couples' community any day "Totally disagree we have played with single guys in clubs. We met one last year, it was his first club visit and he hadn't even heard of fab and we had a fantastic evening. You get out what you put in when it comes to clubs. | |||
"Get to clubs the private meets community is so small now its a lot of effort I have met a couple of solo males but only I'd say 2 of them were a good experience hence just wanting the couples only experience again I disagree, speaking as a solo guy who has been to several clubs, and wondered why he bothered, as opposed to using Fab to meet genuine, likeminded people. I'll take the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny private meets community over the 'we tolerate solo guys in clubs for the Penis Pound, but clubs are really for couples' community any day "Whilst I’ll agree there are plenty of events out there that are a bit like that, there are also events where the singles take centre stage! We go to What Women Want at the VA and the single guys, single women and couples all mix and socialise so much that you can’t tell who’s single and who isn’t. All of the single guys love the event. C x | |||
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"I've had a break from the forums for the last few months ,and concentrated on trying to make a connection with couples and single women though messaging people in my area who are looking for single blokes in my age range and who are looking for single blokes who I meet the criteria for ,and who I find attractive. I have centered my search on people in my county -Yorkshire ,who are looking for the sane as me ,so there is a common requirement. I have sent ,roughly 50 ,well thought out ,detailed messages in the past couple of months the to people who I find attractive ,and whom I fit their criteria and requirements. I have also done a lot of research into single blokes in the same area (Yorkshire ) ,just to get an idea of how many have had success on Fab ,how long they were on here before they had a meet , how many meets they have had using the same time I have been a member on here. What I found was that a small minority of single blokes in Yorkshire had dozens of play meet verifications, a handfull had a few meet in their first two years on Fab. But the vast majority have had at least ONE proper meet during their first two years on Fab . I've been on here long enough to know the ratio of couples/single women to single blokes, so I know the score on here. I know it can be a slog and requires hard work and perseverance, but to have not had a single reply to a message in two years (apart from a local couple who spoke for 2 minutes on cam with me when I first joined ) ,and not any meets in two years , Really . ? I know I'm not the best looking bloke on here , and I acknowledge I don't have the best body ,but ive seen loads of blokes with simular looks and bodies to me who seem to be doing very well on Fab. I know I'm having a bit of a rant , my apologies, just wanted a bit of feedback from couples and single women that's all,as to what sort of single bloke who messages them ,they reply too. I'm aiming this at couples and single women who actually meet single blokes for actual meets, and not people who only meet at clubs and socials ,as that is definitely not my thing, and I have no interest in clubs or organised socials . "Excellent questions & observations | |||
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"Get to clubs the private meets community is so small now its a lot of effort I have met a couple of solo males but only I'd say 2 of them were a good experience hence just wanting the couples only experience again I disagree, speaking as a solo guy who has been to several clubs, and wondered why he bothered, as opposed to using Fab to meet genuine, likeminded people. I'll take the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny private meets community over the 'we tolerate solo guys in clubs for the Penis Pound, but clubs are really for couples' community any day
Whilst I’ll agree there are plenty of events out there that are a bit like that, there are also events where the singles take centre stage! We go to What Women Want at the VA and the single guys, single women and couples all mix and socialise so much that you can’t tell who’s single and who isn’t. All of the single guys love the event.
C x"It’s a shame I’m unlikely to ever go to the VA, as it does get a lot of positive reviews from solo guys, how they are made to feel welcome, and included. I’ve been to too many clubs here in the North, where the ‘gatecrasher’ effect creeps in all too easily…..
The OP won’t entertain visiting clubs. From my experiences, I don’t blame him | |||
"Okay… let me start by saying this…. And asking a honest question…. And hopefully you’ll give an honest answer “From the last time you were here….. and the multitude of advice you were given at that time…… how much of it did you take in and actually act on?” Honestly…… hand on heart I am asking because from the way you opened with the first post… I would honestly say not a lot The thing I say to people is whatever you do… go in with an open mind and no expectations … the more avenues you keep open, the more parts of the jigsaw you have…. But the very first thing you do is to dismiss 2 of the absolute easiest ways of getting your foot in the door so to speak! Clubs and group socials…. So… let’s just take group socials for a second… they may not be for everyone, but actually they are probably the safest environment in which to meet people… they are certainly safer than one 2 ones for example! I am guessing that if you were to ask people who “get swinging” approach it… I think a lot would say they got themselves know If you are sending replies to so many people that would say to me you are choosing because your approach was more scattergun than targeted… If you can’t “help yourself” help yourself… no one else is going to be able to help you… Start off with time, patience and basic common sense (ie not closing obviously pathways) and then you figure the rest out " Thank you for your response, it's really appreciated. And obviously, as a single bloke who is successful on here (248 meets WOW), you have obviously found a formula that works for you. On this thread I have recieved some good feedback about my profile write up and photos. I took that on board and did a total rewrite and sorted my my photos, and I have recieved positive feedback on the changes I've made. | |||
"Get to clubs the private meets community is so small now its a lot of effort I have met a couple of solo males but only I'd say 2 of them were a good experience hence just wanting the couples only experience again I disagree, speaking as a solo guy who has been to several clubs, and wondered why he bothered, as opposed to using Fab to meet genuine, likeminded people. I'll take the itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny private meets community over the 'we tolerate solo guys in clubs for the Penis Pound, but clubs are really for couples' community any day "“Penis pound” absolutely classic ! Thank you | |||
"Okay… let me start by saying this…. And asking a honest question…. And hopefully you’ll give an honest answer “From the last time you were here….. and the multitude of advice you were given at that time…… how much of it did you take in and actually act on?” Honestly…… hand on heart I am asking because from the way you opened with the first post… I would honestly say not a lot The thing I say to people is whatever you do… go in with an open mind and no expectations … the more avenues you keep open, the more parts of the jigsaw you have…. But the very first thing you do is to dismiss 2 of the absolute easiest ways of getting your foot in the door so to speak! Clubs and group socials…. So… let’s just take group socials for a second… they may not be for everyone, but actually they are probably the safest environment in which to meet people… they are certainly safer than one 2 ones for example! I am guessing that if you were to ask people who “get swinging” approach it… I think a lot would say they got themselves know If you are sending replies to so many people that would say to me you are choosing because your approach was more scattergun than targeted… If you can’t “help yourself” help yourself… no one else is going to be able to help you… Start off with time, patience and basic common sense (ie not closing obviously pathways) and then you figure the rest out Thank you for your response, it's really appreciated. And obviously, as a single bloke who is successful on here (248 meets WOW), you have obviously found a formula that works for you. On this thread I have recieved some good feedback about my profile write up and photos. I took that on board and did a total rewrite and sorted my my photos, and I have recieved positive feedback on the changes I've made. " That is over a long… long… time on the site and to be honest if people are being judged on a number that may be part of the mindset issue Okay… so here is the thing…. I’ll let you into a secret 248 verifications isn’t 248 meets… and I think this is where mindsets are important… It 248 people who have taken time to chat to.. and some I have gotten to know better than others… but it’s people I have met through different avenues… and by far the easiest way of doing that is actually group socials… you get to chat and talk loads of different people… and then doing that itself opens up loads of different avenues So if I get to a group social… and get chatting to 5/6 people during a night… that doing 2 things 1) that is planting the seed where if anyone wanted to take it further, I have now differentiated myself from other single guys… they may say “remember that nice bloke we spoke to at…..” 2) if those 5/6 people give me verifications saying I am a nice and genuine guy who took time to get to know… that then perks interest from potentially other people reading profiles So you are networking to network That sounds clinical but going out and having a good time is still the point of going out and having a good time! So… coming back to the question “what is the biggest difference between a successful and unsuccessful person? (And to be perfectly honest I hate looking at it like that because success or failure is not determined on some mythical hit rate) I would say don’t even think about the end… just think about opening doors It’s almost like those “read your own adventure” books where your decisions dictate your journey and in the long term your end | |||
"Okay… let me start by saying this…. And asking a honest question…. And hopefully you’ll give an honest answer “From the last time you were here….. and the multitude of advice you were given at that time…… how much of it did you take in and actually act on?” Honestly…… hand on heart I am asking because from the way you opened with the first post… I would honestly say not a lot The thing I say to people is whatever you do… go in with an open mind and no expectations … the more avenues you keep open, the more parts of the jigsaw you have…. But the very first thing you do is to dismiss 2 of the absolute easiest ways of getting your foot in the door so to speak! Clubs and group socials…. So… let’s just take group socials for a second… they may not be for everyone, but actually they are probably the safest environment in which to meet people… they are certainly safer than one 2 ones for example! I am guessing that if you were to ask people who “get swinging” approach it… I think a lot would say they got themselves know If you are sending replies to so many people that would say to me you are choosing because your approach was more scattergun than targeted… If you can’t “help yourself” help yourself… no one else is going to be able to help you… Start off with time, patience and basic common sense (ie not closing obviously pathways) and then you figure the rest out Thank you for your response, it's really appreciated. And obviously, as a single bloke who is successful on here (248 meets WOW), you have obviously found a formula that works for you. On this thread I have recieved some good feedback about my profile write up and photos. I took that on board and did a total rewrite and sorted my my photos, and I have recieved positive feedback on the changes I've made. That is over a long… long… time on the site and to be honest if people are being judged on a number that may be part of the mindset issue Okay… so here is the thing…. I’ll let you into a secret 248 verifications isn’t 248 meets… and I think this is where mindsets are important… It 248 people who have taken time to chat to.. and some I have gotten to know better than others… but it’s people I have met through different avenues… and by far the easiest way of doing that is actually group socials… you get to chat and talk loads of different people… and then doing that itself opens up loads of different avenues So if I get to a group social… and get chatting to 5/6 people during a night… that doing 2 things 1) that is planting the seed where if anyone wanted to take it further, I have now differentiated myself from other single guys… they may say “remember that nice bloke we spoke to at…..” 2) if those 5/6 people give me verifications saying I am a nice and genuine guy who took time to get to know… that then perks interest from potentially other people reading profiles So you are networking to network That sounds clinical but going out and having a good time is still the point of going out and having a good time! So… coming back to the question “what is the biggest difference between a successful and unsuccessful person? (And to be perfectly honest I hate looking at it like that because success or failure is not determined on some mythical hit rate) I would say don’t even think about the end… just think about opening doors It’s almost like those “read your own adventure” books where your decisions dictate your journey and in the long term your end" 1000000% this. | |||
"Okay… let me start by saying this…. And asking a honest question…. And hopefully you’ll give an honest answer “From the last time you were here….. and the multitude of advice you were given at that time…… how much of it did you take in and actually act on?” Honestly…… hand on heart I am asking because from the way you opened with the first post… I would honestly say not a lot The thing I say to people is whatever you do… go in with an open mind and no expectations … the more avenues you keep open, the more parts of the jigsaw you have…. But the very first thing you do is to dismiss 2 of the absolute easiest ways of getting your foot in the door so to speak! Clubs and group socials…. So… let’s just take group socials for a second… they may not be for everyone, but actually they are probably the safest environment in which to meet people… they are certainly safer than one 2 ones for example! I am guessing that if you were to ask people who “get swinging” approach it… I think a lot would say they got themselves know If you are sending replies to so many people that would say to me you are choosing because your approach was more scattergun than targeted… If you can’t “help yourself” help yourself… no one else is going to be able to help you… Start off with time, patience and basic common sense (ie not closing obviously pathways) and then you figure the rest out Thank you for your response, it's really appreciated. And obviously, as a single bloke who is successful on here (248 meets WOW), you have obviously found a formula that works for you. On this thread I have recieved some good feedback about my profile write up and photos. I took that on board and did a total rewrite and sorted my my photos, and I have recieved positive feedback on the changes I've made. That is over a long… long… time on the site and to be honest if people are being judged on a number that may be part of the mindset issue Okay… so here is the thing…. I’ll let you into a secret 248 verifications isn’t 248 meets… and I think this is where mindsets are important… It 248 people who have taken time to chat to.. and some I have gotten to know better than others… but it’s people I have met through different avenues… and by far the easiest way of doing that is actually group socials… you get to chat and talk loads of different people… and then doing that itself opens up loads of different avenues So if I get to a group social… and get chatting to 5/6 people during a night… that doing 2 things 1) that is planting the seed where if anyone wanted to take it further, I have now differentiated myself from other single guys… they may say “remember that nice bloke we spoke to at…..” 2) if those 5/6 people give me verifications saying I am a nice and genuine guy who took time to get to know… that then perks interest from potentially other people reading profiles So you are networking to network That sounds clinical but going out and having a good time is still the point of going out and having a good time! So… coming back to the question “what is the biggest difference between a successful and unsuccessful person? (And to be perfectly honest I hate looking at it like that because success or failure is not determined on some mythical hit rate) I would say don’t even think about the end… just think about opening doors It’s almost like those “read your own adventure” books where your decisions dictate your journey and in the long term your end" Great post | |||
