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Open relationship advice
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What's the best advice that can be given for an open relationship?
Looking at how it could work for us. Of course no feelings would be the number one rule along with safe sex. But how do you work with an open relationship and how was it worked for you ?
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I'm half a couple & We meet seperately, if that counts.
Communication is the biggest thing, always make sure your partner knows who you're seeing and is happy with it.
Set boundaries and stick to them, ie if there's things you keep for yourselves, don't do them with others unless it's something you've discussed with your other half first.
Always be present when with your partner and otherwise try it and see if it suits you.
Good luck
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There's no universal one size fits all answer - my relationship is open, and my partner and I both believe love is not a finite resource, so have no issues with "feelings".
Whatever your setup, I think the most important thing is communication, communication, and a bit more communication. |
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"Do you mean open as in it being okay to just have sex with others?
Yes. In terms of full swap in a club and full separate swap. Then including meeting elsewhere separately "
I'd say that you would need to make it clear to those you meet that it would be something casual |
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Communication is very much key - both with each other and with people you are meeting. Make sure you set time that it's just the two of you (for example, with me and partner, we don't meet anyone separately at the weekends, this is our time together) or time when you would not meet separately.
Take into account the fact that men are much less likely to find someone to meet than ladies - would the male partner be ok with that?
I was lucky, it developed very naturally with me and my partner, probably because I was already seeing my FWB regularly and was not prepared to give that up. But I was more than happy to give the same freedom to my partner. |
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As someone who is frequently ‘the other person’ in this kind of setup, I’d also say that you should explain the reasoning behind any rules/boundaries that you two decide on, not just what the boundaries are. Otherwise it’s really easy for your other person to misunderstand. |
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As already said communication is the number one thing be honest with eachother for the good and the bad. Decide on boundaries and discuss them. Make sure you’re each others priorities if it’s your primary relationship, make time for each other and do regular check ins about what you both have planned or are trying to plan. It’s not always easy but it can be a rewarding experience. |
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I'd say never ignore a feeling. Having a doubt or being unsure is okay.... speak it if need be.
Goes back to the communications bit.
For us we won't meet separately... as I wouldn't Like it. However together we have very few limits.. safe sex only is our main one. |
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I don't think anyone else can tell you really. Everyone is different and what works for us won't necessarily work for you.
However, I would advise you to take things very slowly since you are so unsure, communicate well and not be afraid to say no.
Nita |
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By *oxy jWoman 33 weeks ago
somerset |
any advice given more than likely wont apply to you .... look people who swing are very strong together couples who already have everything in place before they decide to swing as it comes after lots of talking and non stop communication between the two of you that the golden bit ''you two'' not what other advise its not about them its about you...
if your looking for relationship advice on how to move forward then your simply not ready asking for advice in clubs and venuse parties and that stuff fine but you two must already know what you want what you dont want your rules nobody else your kinks and fantasies its all about you only you ....
if your not a strong relationship or not sure then this scene is not for you as it will find cracks and blow them apart its not something that will repair relationships but it will rip them apart if your both not on the same page ..
so my advice is get to know each other inside out get very together on what you want your rules dont change then for anyone when you do play after talk about it openly stay in tune with each other 100% its about both of you even if you play separately you need to be very open with each other to enjoy ...
get it right and you'll have the most exciting relationship ever nothing makes people more together than communication and fun..
so only advice is you dont need any because only you two know what matters its about you not how other do it ...everyone will be different ..best of luck
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For me I'd say there's a big difference between an open relationship, and a relationship that includes sex with others. The latter is very straightforward, the former includes many other facets. It's really hard to open a relationship that may then involves others becoming a bigger part of it, and feelings probably will get involved. Just going to a club together, or meeting others only together to purely bang is very different. |
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As most have already said, communication is the key. I think saying something like 'no feelings' is a pretty naive thing to think.
Personally, I have to have some sort of connection with anyone I play with, so you could argue that I always get 'feelings' for them, my other half is the same. We have to 'fanch' someone at least to want to have sex with them. Does that mean we are going to dump each other for someone else? No, of course not, we will always go home to each other and the life we've built together.
I think that people new to the scene get hung up on the traditional jealousy issues like 'If he likes her then he's going to leave me for her' this is why as someone else pointed out, you need to be in a good place in your relationship to start with.
And again - communication but make sure it's honest communication, if you don't feel a little bit awkward when talking about it at first then you've not said enough but it becomes more natural!
Good luck! C X |
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"Id like to know is it scamming couples when you have a couples profile and go to clubs as a couple to play with other couples but you don’t actually play with one another but pretend you do??? "
I’m not really sure what you mean, but if you’re putting up a pretence at all, that’s not great for anyone. And be aware that some clubs won’t give memberships to ‘non official’ couples. |
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By *lsiePTV/TS 32 weeks ago
Gateshead |
You can't help who you fall for. You can set a rule that says no feelings but it might be worth spending some time thinking about what you both will do if someone does get feelings. How will you handle it? Not saying it's impossible, but thinking ahead helps. Talk about what could happen, not just what you want to happen. |
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From my own personal experience, if you mean open relationship as in exploring relationships outside of the one you have currently?
Doughnut and I talked about this for a long time and we opened our marriage up, he had a couple of girlfriends over the past few years and worked well for us, I then started looking for myself with men, that's where it went wrong for us, the guy I was "seeing" I fell for hard, even though feelings were not meant to be part of the plan, it just happened. How we have navigated our relationship after has been hard, I'm in therapy for it currently.
Doesn't help I have huge attachment issues and would we look into it again? Id be happy for him to have another girlfriend but for me, I don't think I ever would as I nearly lost everything but that's our dynamic and works for us, it's all still quite fresh so who knows what will happen in the future with him meeting people, one day at a time x |
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"Id like to know is it scamming couples when you have a couples profile and go to clubs as a couple to play with other couples but you don’t actually play with one another but pretend you do??? "
Do you mean they pretend to be Fwb or f buds to get meets? If so, yeah that's deceptive and wrong. |
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"Id like to know is it scamming couples when you have a couples profile and go to clubs as a couple to play with other couples but you don’t actually play with one another but pretend you do??? "
Yes, it is you're giving a false impression to people |
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