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The (New) Neurodivergent Thread
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"Juno has ASD (diagnosed) I will say this about the swinger scene, WAY more understanding than regular people seem to be." We've found that people tend to be a lot more accepting and willing to understand, rather than it being an outright thing. It's really quite nice not having to explain every, little thing and then dreading further questions and struggling to find the right terms so people don't get confused. | |||
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"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed. I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more.. Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. " How long have you been on antidepressants? And do you have any recollection of maturation resulting in orgasm before your treatment? | |||
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"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed. I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more.. Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. How long have you been on antidepressants? And do you have any recollection of maturation resulting in orgasm before your treatment?" Since I was 17 I think. No memory of anything really.. I remember I was a horny teen. Trying to fuck myself with anything I could find. And enjoys boyfriends very hard cocks through trousers | |||
Neurospicy person here, have started the ball rolling for an adhd diagnosis but it's a slow ball.
I recall having a therapy session and the person just saying at the end that they had written adhd 5 times and underlined it haha.
Definitely get bored when people go down on me, but going down on others I get hyperfocused ! | |||
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"Hey
Neurospicy person here, have started the ball rolling for an adhd diagnosis but it's a slow ball.
I recall having a therapy session and the person just saying at the end that they had written adhd 5 times and underlined it haha.
Definitely get bored when people go down on me, but going down on others I get hyperfocused !"Sounds more like your therapist is adhd | |||
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"Can I ask what hsp is? Hypermobility? " A highly sensitive person | |||
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"Does anyone find that the site helps the dopamine craving?" It does sometimes i think | |||
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"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed. I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more.. Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. " I definitely found the same. I couldn’t orgasm when taking them. Change of medication helped for me. | |||
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"No idea if I’m neurospicy but I’m not really wanting to go through getting any diagnosis. Been told I fit certain conditions. Probably makes sense as I’ve been on here over 10 years and still can’t meet anyone "You are you and always will be you with a label or without a label but at least the label can help you understand why maybe at times you feel different to others. T | |||
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"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed. I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more.. Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. " Antidepressants are notorious for affecting sexual responses/performance, not that you're likely to get told that xx | |||
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"Undiagnosed Aspie here, dyscalculia, poss dyspraxia. I couldn't get an official diagnosis when I tried to pursue it years ago as there wasn't the funding at the time and I didn't have the money to go private. It's had to be left as a question mark on my medical notes so to speak. I scored highly or quite highly when I took an autism online test and others have agreed it sounds like I have Aspergers though I don't think that's such a popular term now. It was so frustrating to hear that my request had been turned down (to get diagnosed) as they said that I was coping as an adult and I was high functioning enough..well how would they know without seeing me and if I felt I was coping that well why would I be seeking help?? Xx" Really sorry to hear they are being awkward little buggers with you. I hope and wish you manage to get that official diagnoses moonshadow. P.s. awesome name! | |||
"We are both dyslexic with many other neurodivergent traits. " May have spoken with you both in the past at some point if I remember correctly. Heyy! And how're you both doing? | |||
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"Hi I'm J Adult ADHD with comorbid anxiety and depression disorder diagnosed at 27. I'm a big advocate for raising awareness about ND I'm my job and currently looking to qualify up as adhd mentor/counsellor. Read some really good material about adhd and swinging as well as ND and swinging. Also for those waiting diagnosis I can recommend a great website." Feel free to share some of the info about ADHD and swinging, it's got me intrigued that's for sure haha. | |||
"It is quite interesting to see a high number of neurodivergents (ND) on a site like Fab. Do you think ND people are prone to having a high sex drive? I am aware studies found high prevalence of hypersexuality in ASD males, although the same was not tested in ASD females. I have always had a high sex drive which has NOT finished with age, wonder if it is the ASD or just goor genetics? "I don't think it's black and white at all... or in other words, all or nothing. There are some ND's that are asexual out there (some autistics probably are due to some with high tactile sensitivity and other olfactory senses being heightened especially regarding sexual physicality), but also hypersexual autistics like myself. I can't really speak for people with ADHD, etc because I don't function that way, but I'm sure some people in here could share what they've learnt about Neurodivergence and sex. | |||
"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one. Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive. I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD. How are you all doing lately?" This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? | |||
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"I don't think it's black and white at all... or in other words, all or nothing. There are some ND's that are asexual out there (some autistics probably are due to some with high tactile sensitivity and other olfactory senses being heightened especially regarding sexual physicality), but also hypersexual autistics like myself. I can't really speak for people with ADHD, etc because I don't function that way, but I'm sure some people in here could share what they've learnt about Neurodivergence and sex." Yes I agree on the asexual especially with sensory, perhaps those who are more on the ‘classic autism’ side in particular. My teenage nephew has classic autism and he seems totally oblivious to sexuality which is a relief really as I can imagine it would be quite frustrating and confusing otherwise. I am wondering if it is high functioning Aspergers the ASD studies were really picking up, Aspies perhaps being a little more likely to be hypersexual | |||
"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one. Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive. I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD. How are you all doing lately? This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? " If you are going to state such a thing it would be good to elaborate? | |||
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"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one. Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive. I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD. How are you all doing lately? This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? " Back it up my guy. If you don't feel like doing it publically, free feel to PM. I'm curious why you think an inclusive thread is 'entirely redundant' - as are others. | |||
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"Yes I agree on the asexual especially with sensory, perhaps those who are more on the ‘classic autism’ side in particular. My teenage nephew has classic autism and he seems totally oblivious to sexuality which is a relief really as I can imagine it would be quite frustrating and confusing otherwise. I am wondering if it is high functioning Aspergers the ASD studies were really picking up, Aspies perhaps being a little more likely to be hypersexual "I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "classic autism," but I look at autism as a spectrum of different/mixed traits that relate to the way the brain is wired and expressed in autistic people. But yea, it's probably to do with an overwhelming amount of things to process in the context of sex. Yea I totally get what you're saying, it can be a really challenging thing to navigate in a neurotypically interactive world. Possibly. I'm not on the Aspergers area on the spectrum, but I've read that these type of functioning autistic people find it a little easier to navigate life than some other types of functioning autistics, and so would make sense that they'd find it easier to have sexual relations with others. | |||
"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one. Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive. I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD. How are you all doing lately? This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? " If people are posting, it's not redundant. As one of several threads, it's supportive of people not potentially feeling as isolated, as well as educational/informative of the ignorant | |||
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"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly..." Neurodivergence (ND) is more of a social term rather than a medical term which conditions etc are gathered under. Technically yes, he would fall under the broad definition; but I don't think there is much in the way of help for ND generally. I haven't had much real world experience with people who've had strokes, but I did a little care work with some and the thing I saw help most was physical rehab. I'm not an expert, I don't claim or suggest what I'm saying is in anyway medically advised. I'm sure you know there's specialised stroke help out there - like anything, it's having to fight for it. But under the ND umbrella, there is probably emotional, practical support for stroke recoveries. At the very least, you're welcome here for whatever you can gain from it - I hope it helps. | |||
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"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?" Yes, not just on here but on all platforms and also in person as I'm very logical. On here or dating apps I struggle to turn a conversation to something more flirtatious. I don't say anything in small talk as I had always seen it as pointless conversations or because I'm trying to think of a normal response to give but then the conversation has moved on and I get lost so I then switch off and just try to smile, laugh, look sad when I see others showing these emotions. Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second. One on one though I'm great, but only when I feel the person is actually interested in me otherwise I'm overthinking how to recover. | |||
"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?" On here no, normally much better initially via txt.. But currently having huge issues as having huge anxiety attacks triggered using phone and WhatsApp  | |||
"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?" I often find it very difficult! I posted this earlier, as a reflection of me, when someone had asked about the site being 'wrong' | |||
" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second. " You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen. | |||
"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly. He has loads of issues, with lots of letters and takes lots of medication. He has issues with memory, attention span, executive function, cognitive reasoning amongst others. Although they said he only had a small stroke, it's not in a great part of his head and that's why he's so impacted. He has recently come off Sertralin, cold turkey, on the advice of his doctor even though we mentioned we didn't think he was supposed to. His withdrawl symptoms seem horrific but he keeps soldiering on. I know he was under the Aquired Brain Injury for significantly longer than normal. But there doesn't seem much more support out there for him. This is not a pity party, it could have been so much worse, just wondering is he Neurodivergent and would he get more supportive he was? Thanks... Mrs x" He may have ND capacities and many people have never been diagnosed or possibly considered their differences from others. It's also possible that someone who is ND manages to mask more effectively prior to severe brain injuries, which may impair them. The stroke affects you, his loved ones as well as him - I feel for how hard it must be. Unfortunately, neurological health support is vastly under-resourced, so people may get fantastic care in the NHS initial crisis but they may then face a desert, once discharged. Stroke support is at least partially recognised, albeit that many younger sufferers are left isolated, with support often focused on more elderly people. It's largely not good enough though 
I'd recommend looking at local support services, to at least evaluate whether there's anything more locally. I can PM you some ideas overall, if of interest. | |||
" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second. You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen." Do you have it where inside your head you can like look up to the top right and see like a screen but it's a very visual memory playing like a film. Then say if in your mind you looked bottom left there is a different one playing and you can do this in all sections within your mind but they never over lap each other. That's what it is like for me and if it's something that really has my attention or I'm trying to work something out or whatever it's right in front on the main screen. I can like visualise dismantling or building something piece by piece like it's right in front of me. The real world sort of goes out of focus and I'm just in my head | |||
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"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?" Yes. I hate writing in these forums. Makes me long for a big fire that we all just sort of wander up to and start talking | |||
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"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? " THIS IS SUCH AN ADHD THING and almost no-one talks about it. The MOMENT anything seems repetitive or boring, the vibe just... floof. Gone. And then you get stuck in a loop feeling bad that it's gone and then... and then... fwiw, I have an equally shameful male version I think which is.that almost the instant I climax, my brain goes "Great. That's done. What next?" I absolutely hate it | |||
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"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it. " Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know | |||
"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it. Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know " There are online assessments but they can't say you have or have not, but it can say you show tendancies and to see a doctor for diagnosis. | |||
"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it. Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know " Very fair question, as doughnut just said about the online tests, while it's not a diagnosis, I don't tend to go around informing people (I have mentioned it to my employers as it might explain to them a little while I get so upset if my little routine I have for myself is upset) but I think if you met me, you would probably go "oh yeah, I see it". Hope that helps? Two of my 3 sons also have ASD too, my siblings are also on the spectrum too, so it's something that I am very familiar with x | |||
" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second. You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen. Do you have it where inside your head you can like look up to the top right and see like a screen but it's a very visual memory playing like a film. Then say if in your mind you looked bottom left there is a different one playing and you can do this in all sections within your mind but they never over lap each other. That's what it is like for me and if it's something that really has my attention or I'm trying to work something out or whatever it's right in front on the main screen. I can like visualise dismantling or building something piece by piece like it's right in front of me. The real world sort of goes out of focus and I'm just in my head" Myself and others with ASD I have discussed it with quite often have this sort of thing. I describe it sometimes as 3 radios or TVs playing at once, but it is not constant all day for me thankfully. I can also have such random incoming thoughts or memories whilst my mind is already busy. Let me give you a real recent example. I was thinking about something I had to sort out but there was a song annoyingly playing in my head at same time totally unrelated to the other thought - but then a memory bursts in out of no where unrelated to either . Pear drop sweets from the 1980s, not just how they looked but taste and smell, really _ivid. That is how my ASD mind can be | |||
For me, I think because a lot of the nuance gets left out of the interactions when texting, anyone could mean anything when sending a message or receiving one. I also find it easier to talk to others through texting, but I prefer in person conversations as I get a much clearer sense of who people are. And as I find navigating interactions similar to walking through a dark forest with a dimly lit light, I just feel like I'm being a bother to people, so in my real day to day life, I just tend to keep myself to myself and go about my day. | |||
"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly. He has loads of issues, with lots of letters and takes lots of medication. He has issues with memory, attention span, executive function, cognitive reasoning amongst others. Although they said he only had a small stroke, it's not in a great part of his head and that's why he's so impacted. He has recently come off Sertralin, cold turkey, on the advice of his doctor even though we mentioned we didn't think he was supposed to. His withdrawl symptoms seem horrific but he keeps soldiering on. I know he was under the Aquired Brain Injury for significantly longer than normal. But there doesn't seem much more support out there for him. This is not a pity party, it could have been so much worse, just wondering is he Neurodivergent and would he get more supportive he was? Thanks... Mrs x He may have ND capacities and many people have never been diagnosed or possibly considered their differences from others. It's also possible that someone who is ND manages to mask more effectively prior to severe brain injuries, which may impair them. The stroke affects you, his loved ones as well as him - I feel for how hard it must be. Unfortunately, neurological health support is vastly under-resourced, so people may get fantastic care in the NHS initial crisis but they may then face a desert, once discharged. Stroke support is at least partially recognised, albeit that many younger sufferers are left isolated, with support often focused on more elderly people. It's largely not good enough though
I'd recommend looking at local support services, to at least evaluate whether there's anything more locally. I can PM you some ideas overall, if of interest. "Thanks for your comments. He's doing OK but it looks like he's being left to his own devices now. Just have to see what develops now. Doesn't look like it's getting worse, it's just not getting any better. This is his new normal now and that's OK, Mrs x | |||
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"Is there any ND's here that find it difficult to flirt?" Unfortunately, incredibly difficult  | |||
Would not change it for the world. | |||
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"Male Empath. If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away. Blessing and a curse.
Would not change it for the world."Room full of people is literally like fighting a dense wall to get through sometimes? | |||
"Male Empath. If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away. Blessing and a curse.
Would not change it for the world."What kind of voodoo is this? | |||
"Male Empath. If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away. Blessing and a curse.
Would not change it for the world."Yea it can be very difficult dealing with life when being so sensitive to everything. And it's definitely a blessing and a curse that's for sure fella. I just tend to spend a lot of my life in my own company and only interact with people when I sense there is less intensity of stimuli in the moment. | |||
"Room full of people is literally like fighting a dense wall to get through sometimes?" Tell me about it chick  | |||
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"For people with ADHD sex can be a dopamine fix and so often have higher sex drives and studies have shown that risky sex is sought "Interesting, that along with higher levels of hypersexuality in ASD males I guess you can see why lot of ND in swinging scene | |||
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"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? THIS IS SUCH AN ADHD THING and almost no-one talks about it. The MOMENT anything seems repetitive or boring, the vibe just... floof. Gone. And then you get stuck in a loop feeling bad that it's gone and then... and then... fwiw, I have an equally shameful male version I think which is.that almost the instant I climax, my brain goes "Great. That's done. What next?" I absolutely hate it" OMFG I (Mr.) assumed there must be other people who experience this but to read it written as if I wrote it.. Thank you for this post (and this whole (totally not redundant) thread)! | |||
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"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral? " For me it depends on the person. I have to say the Mr knows exactly what he is doing. With him, I LOVE receiving oral. Mrs | |||
"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral? " It affects me (Mr.) no matter who's giving it to me. Isn't just with oral though. If we're doing any position longer than a few minutes, I start losing the drive and need to switch it up | |||
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"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral? For me it depends on the person. I have to say the Mr knows exactly what he is doing. With him, I LOVE receiving oral. Mrs" Just wondering if this is why I'm not into loads of foreplay and long sessions?! | |||
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"I've been diagnosed since I was a kid with the inattentive type. Perpetual space cadet." I think my child has the inattentive type. Currently on a long waiting list….. I’ve tried reading about it but it doesn’t seem as “common” (or maybe it’s more undiagnosed) so there’s much less information about it. Would love to know of ways I can possibly help him if anyone has any suggestions? J | |||
"Hello fellow NDs! ADHD here. I’m not sure what OH WAIT LOOK AT THAT SQUIRREL! "SQUIRREL?? WHAT! WHERE! | |||
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"Anyone also struggle with fibro / me / ms / lupus? Basically does the exhaustion and constant pain affect your interactions with others here?" That's exactly why we're taking a break from meets at the moment. Dealing with pain on a daily basis not knowing when there's gonna be a bit of respite, or even what's caused it this time round is absolutely draining. | |||
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"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? " Sometimes yes | |||
"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed. I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more.. Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. " Yeah mine numb me. I did a little experiment once. Stayed on my mood stabisers but came off my anti d's for a little while and that wave came back full force. I miss it but like you it's not worth the consequences | |||
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"Hi guys, ADHDer here with a little garnish of Bipolar Disorder. Has anyone else found they are more stable and grounded in this lifestyle. It's made a huge difference to my coping mechanisms and securing that Dopamine hit " Hey Bertha, I hope you're well. Hm, that's a good question. There is definitely something that I'm fulfilling through it if that makes sense? I tend to keep my sexuality and sexual life to myself outside of fab, so I guess it is a way for me to meet those sexual needs if or when they arise, but also hopefully through meeting people irl from here too. | |||
"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab?" I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped. | |||
"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab? I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped. " I suggest you say exactly that and let your partner know exactly where you are at because the most inane and seemingly stupid things can at times overwhelm us and knock us sideways. Eve with my help and openness can read me and understand me which helps me massively and brings me back down quicker. T | |||
"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab? I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped. I suggest you say exactly that and let your partner know exactly where you are at because the most inane and seemingly stupid things can at times overwhelm us and knock us sideways. Eve with my help and openness can read me and understand me which helps me massively and brings me back down quicker. T" I am getting much better at expressing myself if I'm feeling overwhelmed, over stimulated and it's helping me to be happier in the process. At work I'm totally different, I can have a fan going, a customer talking to me with someone having a conversation next to me which is strange because at home that can lead to me unable to think or speak. It's a much nicer environment at home being able to identify what's wrong now. It also helped our relationship no end, with doughnut ADHD too, when he hyperfocuses on something, for example his driving instructor was 'late' picking him up the other day, he wasn't he was in time, got there exactly at 8.30 but because he wasn't there when the clock struck 8.30 (he text me at exactly 8.30 and said he was late lol), even though he had a great lesson but there were few things he needed to improve on, like coming in too hot at roundabouts (something I had told him too) but the thing he has taken away from it is time keeping, I asked what would help to overcome that, as yet he hasn't found an answer but I know it's really bothering him. | |||
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) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.
Medicated with 70mg Elvanse and it’s a god send.
I was diagnosed at 40. The sudden realisation that the way I thought and things I did/still do aren’t actually ‘my fault’ was a massive weight off my shoulders. And that pill every morning. *chefs kiss*
I do sometimes miss being able to have 28464828292 thoughts at the same time though  | |||
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"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly. "I was diagnosed by a private doctor. Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up. Back to the confusion and self loathing again. | |||
"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.
I was diagnosed by a private doctor.
Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up.
Back to the confusion and self loathing again. "You’ll probably find that private dr also works for the NHS. I’ve seen drs privately before now to bypass their clinic waiting times. It’s still the same so to and expertise. | |||
"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.
I was diagnosed by a private doctor.
Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up.
Back to the confusion and self loathing again.
You’ll probably find that private dr also works for the NHS. I’ve seen drs privately before now to bypass their clinic waiting times. It’s still the same so to and expertise. "I was being facetious, thank you for swooping in there though. It’s very risky to throw opinions around about the validity of someone else’s diagnosis. You might be right, well done. You might be wrong and send someone back down the spiral of confusion and self-doubt. | |||
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" Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know " Very few people go around questioning whether they might be autistic or ADHD without good reason. Until they are diagnosed, it's really just a suspected diagnosis, but there are a load of professionally used screening tests available online that are fairly good indicators. There's a website called aspietests.org that has most of the autism screening tools. | |||
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"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one. Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive. I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD. How are you all doing lately?" I've been away for a bit from eh forums dealing with my own...traits NHS diagnosed with Borderline/Emotionally unstable personality disorder in 2013 NHS diagnosed with online video assessment with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2 in February 2024 Complex Childhood PTSD not diagnosed but I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father so um...that's probably obvious. my treatment: Meds and lots and lots of therapy. DBT- 12 weeks rolling mini course for 6 months. ( DBT is supposed to be 2 years long for the best effect) MBT- 18 months of 2.5 hours every week....apart from annual leave..in a group and in an individual one to one session alone. I did mine during the pandemic online. It's more effective in person. Lots of books on psychological treatment. Antidepressants and a mood stabiliser. Just come of the mood stabaliser....brutal withdrawal symptoms but I'm determined. Outdoor Personal trainer once a week, "exercise". I cycles and swim and do ridiculously long walks in Richmond park. I hate running and the gym for some reason increases my anxiety. I do a manual job for 16 hours so I dont' have to go to extra gym sessions. lol! Something fun outside once a week. Dancing, Swinger groups. Nudism/naturism groups. Weekly psychotherapist through Better/help and weekly support group through the NHS and a charity. BetterHelp also has groups that you can attend through your subscription 24/7. Disability government assistance. Whether it's finding a job or claiming PIP or ESA or the sickness element of universal credit. My company's HR wellbeing checklist and occupational health. Unfortunately, a lot of managers are clueless and need an Employment law kick up the back side. | |||
"Is there any way of getting EMDR like when therapists are trying,at reduced cost. Min 1 year wait in N Essex NHS" If you are on benefits or on a low income, contact around EDMR therapists in your local area to see if they will do a reduced cost for low incomes. Might need to show them your bank statement or benefit letter. | |||
"Is it OK talk PTSd too? what is anyone's opinion on rejection dysphoria?" yes PTSD alters your brain development and brain chemistry. | |||
"I am going through a similar thing with hubby at the moment. He has recently been diagnosed ASD and he is struggling to manage tgat. It has changed our dynamic. He is really struggling but I am also struggling as I am feeling very overwhelmed by tge change and feel like running. I have started having the occasional weekend away. Just to myself. Sometimes all i need is time alone. Sometimes I want excitement. I tend to travel where there us going to be a club night. " What does he do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to manage it? refer to my post about how I manage mine. | |||
"Hay, I've got ASD and ADHD. It's difficult having both, it's like a constant argument with yourself and you always lose that argument." I don't argue. I negotiate. Let me introduce you to my inner children BPD inner toddler MM and Autistic inner toddler MM BPD MM wants to punch everyone in the face and Autistic MM wants to run away and hide from everyone. So I talk to my inner child like I would to a toddler. Toddlers also have a problem regulating their emotions, thought and behaviours. That out-of-control feeling or thinking or behaviour is often because of a need that hasn't been met. If we meet the need in a healthy adaptive functional way, we feel better...sometimes instantly sometimes it takes work ( I was in therapy for 18 months working on it) So if you need to stim do it. If you need to take a break do it. If you need to exercise to get rid of extra energy do it. If you need to shut off the world for 4 hours a week to focus on your special interest do it. I have bare minimum days where I just do basic self-care and nothing else...this is usually a day that I don't have to go to work or attend my NHS support groups. I call it self re-parenting. It's about me learning how to get my brain to work and how to meet needs that were not met by my parents even though they did the best they could. Also sometimes...like a toddler..you just need a nap. Lol! | |||
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"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? " Yup, although paradoxically oral is def my thing. I like to mix it up a bit and prefer the more 'willing to experiment' partners with tongues, fingers and toys | |||
"Good afternoon everyone on the thread. I put a comment the other day that I have mild autism and ADHD. I just wanted to share a message of support for everyone who has ever been treated differently because of their condition. Even though it’s wrong, the discrimination you can face, you’ve got to rise above it and just be yourself. I’ve been treated differently by people a lot in life, mostly in social situations because I seem really awkward. I’m a lot better socially now because I cope a lot better with ASD. I wish everyone who feels like their condition will determine their life: don’t let it. Focus on your strengths, and you can achieve anything. " | |||
"Now 18 months in on the waiting list for an NHS diagnosis. I have ADHD, dysgraphia and probably ASD in the mix too. Also have CPTSD from the trauma of growing up ND in the 70’s and 80’s and being trapped in an abusive relationship for most of the 90’s. Question for those on meds for ADHD. I currently take Venlafaxine for my anxiety and it works well for me. How well do antidepressants play with ADHD meds? Did you have to come off an antidepressant before taking ADHD meds or do the work well together?" ADHD Med and antidepressants can work fine together. Good luck. | |||
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"Hello, Mrs Vim here..." Takes a while to get my partner orgasm without using a labour saving device. I encourage her to do box breathing/breath work speeds things up. ex-FWB, took a good 15 mins plus a few hours of foreplay to get her to orgasm manually without toys. Was quite happy to give the attention - and she was quite surprised of the outcome. I'm in tune with my body, and with anyone who I touch or are near. | |||
