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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Ever heard of spotlight effect? We all naturally assume people are studying and judging us when in fact they too busy doing their own thing (and assuming we are studying and judging them).
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By *oxy jWoman 37 weeks ago
somerset |
nerves is not a bad thing as they tend to keep you on your toes as they say ... you have to remember very few will look at your disability and your all there for the same reason the swinging scene ...
ive only ever seen disability become a issue when people turn you down due to attraction / compatibility for those with disability throw the disability card back at them tho to be fair thats more on here i dont think people are bothered if they fancy you then they fancy you ... stop worring what you think others think and just enjoy yourself |
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"Figuring out what it is you are nervous about.
I must have been to a club over 1000 times and still feel a bit weird "
feel like i struggle to make conversation and i don’t wana interrupt people while their all talking |
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"Figuring out what it is you are nervous about.
I must have been to a club over 1000 times and still feel a bit weird
feel like i struggle to make conversation and i don’t wana interrupt people while their all talking "
I see.. try a passing comment rather than an interruption |
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"feel like i struggle to make conversation and i don’t wana interrupt people while their all talking "
To be fair, your veris mention chatting in a positive way on numerous occasions, so you are controlling the nerves well. |
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"feel like i struggle to make conversation and i don’t wana interrupt people while their all talking
To be fair, your veris mention chatting in a positive way on numerous occasions, so you are controlling the nerves well."
sometimes it doesn’t feel like that |
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Many of us get nervous. Tuppence is a large BBW lady in her 60s and gets nervous about her body image when going to Chams. We both get nervous about age. Once inside it is fine though - Tuppence has been known to relax too much...
The nice thing about Chams is that no one is bothered. There are all sort of ages and bodies and probably a few disabilities. We always get to chat to really friendly people.
I doubt that anyone really notices your limp or cares of nthey do. |
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"Many of us get nervous. Tuppence is a large BBW lady in her 60s and gets nervous about her body image when going to Chams. We both get nervous about age. Once inside it is fine though - Tuppence has been known to relax too much...
The nice thing about Chams is that no one is bothered. There are all sort of ages and bodies and probably a few disabilities. We always get to chat to really friendly people.
I doubt that anyone really notices your limp or cares of nthey do."
thanks both x |
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"i get really nervous when attending chams i think it’s partly down to my disibility and thinking i’m not good enough any tips on overcoming nerves "
We still get nervous going to meet people.
Be that a 121, club, party etc.
Embrace the nerves, its part of the excitement.
Once we don't get nervous, time to pack it in and don't be afraid of telling those you meet that you are a jabbering wreck. I do !!
Just go for it. Good luck. |
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"i get really nervous when attending chams i think it’s partly down to my disibility and thinking i’m not good enough any tips on overcoming nerves
We still get nervous going to meet people.
Be that a 121, club, party etc.
Embrace the nerves, its part of the excitement.
Once we don't get nervous, time to pack it in and don't be afraid of telling those you meet that you are a jabbering wreck. I do !!
Just go for it. Good luck."
i know i need to open my mouth just easier said than done x |
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By *ony MannMan 37 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
I remember my first party, I was not sure what I was letting myself in for. It was not what I expected but it is the unknown that made me nervous.
I still get nervous when I say, would you like to play. Its the not knowing, but once I get my shoes off nerves disappear.
Having said I get nervous I am told I appear confident and in control, so my nerves can't be that bad.
Everything new is unknown and I can get nervous. Now I just get on with it. |
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"I remember my first party, I was not sure what I was letting myself in for. It was not what I expected but it is the unknown that made me nervous.
I still get nervous when I say, would you like to play. Its the not knowing, but once I get my shoes off nerves disappear.
Having said I get nervous I am told I appear confident and in control, so my nerves can't be that bad.
Everything new is unknown and I can get nervous. Now I just get on with it."
been going as a single guy for 2 years once conversation has started i’m ok it’s making the initial conversation i struggle with xx |
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"Ever heard of spotlight effect? We all naturally assume people are studying and judging us when in fact they too busy doing their own thing (and assuming we are studying and judging them).
You are absolutely spot on with that.
"
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"Ever heard of spotlight effect? We all naturally assume people are studying and judging us when in fact they too busy doing their own thing (and assuming we are studying and judging them).
Have never heard of this effect but sounds about right wise words glow x
"
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"Ever heard of spotlight effect? We all naturally assume people are studying and judging us when in fact they too busy doing their own thing (and assuming we are studying and judging them).
"
Absolutely.
Our first visit to a club, many years ago, we drove up and down outside getting more nervous as the time passed by.
I thought all the ladies would look like catwalk models and they would snigger when I exposed my lady bits.
Paul thought all the men would have massive cocks pushing their extended girths around in a wheelbarrow.
Wrong on both fronts!!
Still get nervous though, love the tummy flutters driving to clubs, parties and to the airport off on a swingers holiday, like the one starting next Tuesday.
Can't wait, very excited.  |
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