FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Since when is it ‘too restrictive’ to have preferences?
Since when is it ‘too restrictive’ to have preferences?
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To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? |
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I wouldn't have thought so.
For all anybody else is concerned you could exclude cross dressers unless they were wearing yellow latex trousers and blue crocs and that would still be ok.
It doesn't make sense that anyone else could judge you on what you like and don't like.
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Since they realised you don't want to fuck them.
Someone doesn't want to fuck you? Shame them into it. That's a healthy sexual dynamic, right?
Same as I'm rude for literally saying "No thanks" because the only polite answers are the ones that get their dick wet.
I agree with your stance personally  |
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"To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? "
No. You can meet whomever you want to meet.
Ask yourself this. Who the hell has the right to dictate who you, legally and consenually have sex with or why? Who polices your preffrences? You do. No one else.
I've had it happen to me a few times over the years. Some people just don't like the fact you'rr
E not interested in them or have told them no. It's narccism. How dare you not be attracted to them.
If im not for someone I just go on my way and 99.9% of the time it's all polite.
Laugh and tell them to jog on. You owe them nothing.
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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It's not too restrictive at all. It is your profile, your life and your rules.
Anyone not liking that sounds entirely like a them problem and not something you should care about. |
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Its a shame that TV/TS and CD are “lumped” together in the same category, I’m sure its as annoying for those who identify as such as it is for those who hold an interest in one category and not all.
You'd think in this day and age the site would be sophisticated and nuanced enough to allow this distinction. |
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Thanks for the comments everyone.
I was so taken aback by the entitlement (as well as the insistence that TS, TV and CD are one and the same) that I was starting to wonder if I was going round the bend…. |
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By *host63Man 39 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? "
No you don't what you like. That's the point of the site |
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"To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? "
I’ve had the same comment a couple of times.
Happy to meet trans people, but I’m not interested in cross dressers. I’m especially not interested in men who wear women’s clothing because they find it humiliating; there’s nothing humiliating about women’s clothing. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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It is not. Having to deal with opinionated assholes is one of the reasons I stay away from most BDSM/fetish forums. I once had to listen to a guy explaining how me wearing a particular leather harness made me a submissive and sent confusing signals to others at the party. Shaming someone into having sex with you is a time tested technique to not get laid. Ignore and block such people. |
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I totally agree with all the above. The only thing I would add is, as the tick box on fab bunches TS/TV all together. Perhaps an easier solution for you would be to untick that box, and instead state on your profile you're happy to meet TS? And yep, I agree it's crap you have to do that, to shut up the idiots giving you shit! But it was just a thought! |
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"I totally agree with all the above. The only thing I would add is, as the tick box on fab bunches TS/TV all together. Perhaps an easier solution for you would be to untick that box, and instead state on your profile you're happy to meet TS? And yep, I agree it's crap you have to do that, to shut up the idiots giving you shit! But it was just a thought! "
Makes perfect sense to me  |
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"To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? "
Who cares what anyone else thinks. It’s a passive opinion that you have. You don’t go out enforcing your preferences on people so just do what you enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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Agree with everyone, you're well with in your rights to exercise your preferences as you see fit. As others have said, it's just someone struggling with the rejection.
Also unfortunate that the tick box category is so broad, but I wouldn't untick it either, as you might alienate people you would choose to meet too. |
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As a Transvestite I wouldn’t message or expect to receive a message from yourself. I think you have every right to have preferences I am very comfortable with knowing I’m not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ as I have no doubt you’ll most likely feel the same.
We should just respect each other’s preferences rather than convince each other that we are wrong to have them.  |
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"To be honest, this is a bit of an annoyed rant, but happy to accept input!
Background - I am pansexual, so I’m welcoming of all humans, whatever the gender and sexual equipment posessed. Which includes trans-people. However, even though I’m a kinkster myself, there are some kinks I am not interested in - and one of those is someone else cross dressing for sexual gratification. I make that pretty clear in my profile. No kink-shaming implied, it just doesn’t push my buttons.
Today, someone decided to inbox to tell me that ticking the ‘interested in TS/TV’ box yet ruling out cross dressers was me being ‘too restrictive’.
Is it? "
This is FAB do what you do is all that matters. |
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