FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ladies how many messages do you get ?
Ladies how many messages do you get ?
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By *hmygod OP Man 46 weeks ago
Telford Shropshire |
Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I have messages turned off as I cba with the admin of it. If I popped a pic on there would be more messages.
Sometimes a few hundred, can’t reply thank you to each one. Replies would be
‘Why no?’
‘You fat ugly….’
‘Didn’t like you anyway’ and it goes on.
Plus it breaks any filters when you reply.
I’m not here to do admin; so I don’t  |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people."
Then when I do say No thank you 'I am sent abusive message back.
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people.
Then when I do say No thank you 'I am sent abusive message back.
"
You're not alone. You get the odd one that can take rejection gracefully and grown up then you get the A holes that feel they are gods gift and we should be falling over them! |
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"I have messages turned off as I cba with the admin of it. If I popped a pic on there would be more messages.
Sometimes a few hundred, can’t reply thank you to each one. Replies would be
‘Why no?’
‘You fat ugly….’
‘Didn’t like you anyway’ and it goes on.
Plus it breaks any filters when you reply.
I’m not here to do admin; so I don’t "
A few hundred...and that's just me  |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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On a ‘normal day’ I’d get up to 50 messages. 20 on a quiet day. 200 if I posted a nice pic. Excl backwards and forwards with friends.
And I’m by no means a ‘hottie’, just a lot more men than women on here. I genuinely try and say thanks to nice compliments or where someone has put effort into a message. But it’s simply impossible to read everything never mind reply to everyone - it’s not being rude
Plus if you reply people want to chat - or if you reply no thanks they can get argumentative / abusive. Fab rules say no reply = not interested |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"I have messages turned off as I cba with the admin of it. If I popped a pic on there would be more messages.
Sometimes a few hundred, can’t reply thank you to each one. Replies would be
‘Why no?’
‘You fat ugly….’
‘Didn’t like you anyway’ and it goes on.
Plus it breaks any filters when you reply.
I’m not here to do admin; so I don’t
A few hundred...and that's just me "
Always have time for you |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Weekends usually a lot once Friday night boredom and alcohol hits.
Weekdays at least 80 ish a day
Unless I turn my inbox off it gets into silly amounts and you can't read them all regardless. |
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We know the ladies get lots of messages and males get zero. But ladies what do you look for in a male profile that makes you say yes please! Second thoughts don't give up your secrets. We have to learn by our mistakes. |
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In a week I might get 5 or 6 messages from 'new' people. If I'm not interested, I rarely reply, because regardless of how 'nice' the initial message is, you can never tell what response a polite no thank you might elicit. And believe me, some men here are vile when they get rejected, even after having sent a very polite opening message.
It's not just men who don't get replies to messages, or find that the comms just fade out.  |
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones..."
We're all one of the good ones. You need to aspire to be one of the better ones.
"Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site..."
I must be one of the lucky ones then.
"I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!"
Not all guys pester.
"It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction."
Don't be genuine. Be authentic. |
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By *ornycougaWoman 46 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
Totally depends on how active I am on here and how many people I am chatting to. If I'm quiet then it can be as low as 10. When I'm online and have posted something that has been on P1 then it can be 1000+ |
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I dont get too many now and its less as im over 50 but i do try to reply to all i get. The problem is that too many for blokes take a reply as an invitation to chat even if up say you don’t want to they keep messaging. Or those you reject try to persuade you to ‘give them a chance’ or just become insulting. |
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By *hmygod OP Man 46 weeks ago
Telford Shropshire |
"You say you don't get any interaction OP and yet you haven't openly interacted with anyone on this thread."
I have out a post thanking all that have explained things what’s wrong with that ? |
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"You say you don't get any interaction OP and yet you haven't openly interacted with anyone on this thread.
I have out a post thanking all that have explained things what’s wrong with that ?"
Nothing...our posts crossed over |
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By *hmygod OP Man 46 weeks ago
Telford Shropshire |
"You say you don't get any interaction OP and yet you haven't openly interacted with anyone on this thread.
I have out a post thanking all that have explained things what’s wrong with that ?
Nothing...our posts crossed over"
?? |
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I haven't been on here for a while. Logged on 3 hours ago. Now got almost 50 message, 15 winks, 10 friend invites. That is without any new pics, status updates or veris. Sorry you don't get replies but it's impossible. It would take me at least an hour to go through them all and give even a simple reply. Screw that. Life is too short and too busy. Fab is for fun when I want it and not a second job. |
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Anything from 30-50 daily. More as soon as I'm online, increases at the weekend.
A witt, funny, sarcastic opening will prob catch my eye.
'I'm in your area tomorrow', 'Let's f*ck'and similar will have me pass by.
Sending a 2nd rude message because I haven't managed to open the first one will have me shaking my head and rolling my eyes. |
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By *hmygod OP Man 46 weeks ago
Telford Shropshire |
Thanks to everyone that has explained about all the messages they get .. I’m so glad I asked this question.
And I haven’t replied individually or privately to any of you ladies because of the question I asked I’m not here to pester anyone or upset be nasty or any of the negative things that happen on FAB!
I have looked at profiles and liked some pictures I hope you don’t mind that .
Stay safe ..
and I hope I get more people commenting and talking about this ?? |
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By *m2330Man 46 weeks ago
Bromborough |
Way of the world init unfortunately. Once in a blue moon when I get the messages button at the top light up it’s a nice endorphin hit. (Until you realise it’s just someone saying “no thanks”  ) |
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By *ickD80Man 46 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Thanks to everyone that has explained about all the messages they get .. I’m so glad I asked this question.
And I haven’t replied individually or privately to any of you ladies because of the question I asked I’m not here to pester anyone or upset be nasty or any of the negative things that happen on FAB!
I have looked at profiles and liked some pictures I hope you don’t mind that .
Stay safe ..
and I hope I get more people commenting and talking about this ??"
Thanks for asking the question OP, I’m really glad that you did. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations |
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"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations "
I have 23 unread and that’s a lot for me. Most of those I’ve read and put back into unread so I can reply later!
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality). |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations
I have 23 unread and that’s a lot for me. Most of those I’ve read and put back into unread so I can reply later!
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality)."
I think your profile is fairly descriptive of what you do /do not want so i can see how you'd get more targeted messages from people you are likely to meet.
I get a lot of fantasists wanting me to teach them about BDSM |
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"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations
I have 23 unread and that’s a lot for me. Most of those I’ve read and put back into unread so I can reply later!
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality).
I think your profile is fairly descriptive of what you do /do not want so i can see how you'd get more targeted messages from people you are likely to meet.
I get a lot of fantasists wanting me to teach them about BDSM "
I do get a fair amount of men message me about BDSM. There are a lot of fantasists here about it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations
I have 23 unread and that’s a lot for me. Most of those I’ve read and put back into unread so I can reply later!
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality).
I think your profile is fairly descriptive of what you do /do not want so i can see how you'd get more targeted messages from people you are likely to meet.
I get a lot of fantasists wanting me to teach them about BDSM
I do get a fair amount of men message me about BDSM. There are a lot of fantasists here about it."
I specifically mention having knowledge of RACK and SSC, but get loads of messages saying i don't know what they are (i mean hello Google ) but you can teach me  |
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By *hmygod OP Man 46 weeks ago
Telford Shropshire |
"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations "
Look like my question has hit a nerve with this one and then blocked me as if I’m going to sent her a message and be upset about what she’s said..
This is my point all over we don’t all get upset about being told NO! I’m not after every woman on here.
But thank you for you reply but honestly no need to block me .. |
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"l
I specifically mention having knowledge of RACK and SSC, but get loads of messages saying i don't know what they are (i mean hello Google ) but you can teach me "
I think we chatted a little on my couples profile, I remember because I did indeed Google those terms It was not hard! |
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"There are currently over 500 messages in my mail box - i can't imagine how long it would take me to go through each one and say thank you for contacting me, but i don't want to chat further or get to know you - that would spark further replies from at least 75%...
Going by your statement of being thankful for that contract, you probably think I am obliged to continue to reply - because each man has gone to the trouble to reply to me?
It's ridiculous and arrogant and smacks of privilege, get over yourself - I don't have to be thankful that some random man wanting to scratch an itch contacts me and I'm under zero obligations
Look like my question has hit a nerve with this one and then blocked me as if I’m going to sent her a message and be upset about what she’s said..
This is my point all over we don’t all get upset about being told NO! I’m not after every woman on here.
But thank you for you reply but honestly no need to block me .. "
People block because they don’t wish to have contact with someone in the future.
Don’t take it so personally, it just means someone doesn’t want to have sex with you and it saves you wasting your time by contacting them. |
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"
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality).
It’s the bottom profile pic
You think the bum pic puts people off?"
Oh absolutely not!  I meant it is something you are doing right |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"
I have no idea what I’m doing right or wrong to get so few messages. (But the ones I do get are mostly quality).
It’s the bottom profile pic
You think the bum pic puts people off?
Oh absolutely not! I meant it is something you are doing right "
She's definitely doing it right, one of the most alluring pics on fab  |
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people."
As a couple we get very few (our profile puts most off lol). I Tony had a 27 year old lady friend once who showed me her fab account.... up to 500 MESSAGES EVERY DAY !!. Of course she could respond to very few of them  |
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people.
As a couple we get very few (our profile puts most off lol). I Tony had a 27 year old lady friend once who showed me her fab account.... up to 500 MESSAGES EVERY DAY !!. Of course she could respond to very few of them "
500 that is impossible to manage. Sounds like she could do with a few personal assistants just to read through them all |
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people.
As a couple we get very few (our profile puts most off lol). I Tony had a 27 year old lady friend once who showed me her fab account.... up to 500 MESSAGES EVERY DAY !!. Of course she could respond to very few of them
500 that is impossible to manage. Sounds like she could do with a few personal assistants just to read through them all"
Or use filters to reduce the inflow....unless she likes the numbers game  |
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"Being a male straight and I consider myself one of the good ones.. make your own mind up ?
Honestly I never really get any messages likes or anything really on this site ..
I understand you get pissed off with guys pestering you and all that stuff !!
It just gets really boring for the genuine people on here not to get a bit of interaction.
Even when I send a nice message and I’m not expecting anything but a thank you would be nice
Let’s see how much this post upsets people.
As a couple we get very few (our profile puts most off lol). I Tony had a 27 year old lady friend once who showed me her fab account.... up to 500 MESSAGES EVERY DAY !!. Of course she could respond to very few of them
500 that is impossible to manage. Sounds like she could do with a few personal assistants just to read through them all
Or use filters to reduce the inflow....unless she likes the numbers game "
I wonder what percentage the filters would take care of? |
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By *amoanMan 46 weeks ago
st peter port |
Onr of the things that amazes me, is that you can read a msg, then mark it unread, leading to the other person thinking you haven’t seen it. Surely if you open the msg, it should stay read, its not as if it dissapears from the msg folder, just my observation, that’s all |
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"Onr of the things that amazes me, is that you can read a msg, then mark it unread, leading to the other person thinking you haven’t seen it. Surely if you open the msg, it should stay read, its not as if it dissapears from the msg folder, just my observation, that’s all"
No, you should be able to mark it unread. You may not want someone to know you’ve seen their message. Nobody is entitled to know if you’ve read what they’ve written. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 46 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Onr of the things that amazes me, is that you can read a msg, then mark it unread, leading to the other person thinking you haven’t seen it. Surely if you open the msg, it should stay read, its not as if it dissapears from the msg folder, just my observation, that’s all
No, you should be able to mark it unread. You may not want someone to know you’ve seen their message. Nobody is entitled to know if you’ve read what they’ve written."
This.
Also bear in mind one half of a couple may have read it but nor the other. So they mark it as unread so the other can look at a later opportunity. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I’m new to fab but I’ve had a fair few replies so far. I haven’t looked at your profile OP and for the record I haven’t had any meets so bare that in mind. Here’s my 2 cents.
1. Filter out all the accounts that aren’t looking for you and the ones you don’t like (I do this by blocking them so they don’t keep showing up in my searches, you can always unblock if they or you change your mind)
2. Fab pictures of accounts that do interest you.
3.Go through your Fab list and make sure to carefully read through the profile. I’ve unfabbed pictures because I haven’t liked their profile so I then go back to step 1 for those accounts. I’ve also gotten some response's because I put their “word” that they have chosen on their profile page that indicates you’ve actually read it. I think you’re more likely to get a reply that way even if it is a no thank you.
4. Have some private pictures you can send them in the opening message that can help them with a reply. Many accounts ask for face pictures, this doesn’t have to mean a selfie on your camera phone. A face picture of you on your most recent holiday or at a music festival can create a conversation. Got a picture of you with a pet dog or cat? Send it. Despite being a swinger site not everyone wants to go sexual right away and it helps to spark up a conversation. You may also be talking to someone’s partner if it’s a couples account so they might appreciate it too.
5. Up to date pictures. I don’t particularly like the pictures I have but they are all recent (oldest is a few years ago but I still look the same)
6. Put effort into your profile. I’m a bit of a goofball in real life. I’m not a smooth talking James Bond so there’s no point in portraying myself as something that I’m not. If someone reads my profile and thinks I’m silly and they don’t like it that’s ok. If someone reads it and thinks I’m silly and they like it then great. It’ll likely progress from there.
7. Send messages in the off peak hours. Friday and Saturday evenings are best avoided.
8. This should be fun, if it’s not just take a break and come back refreshed. That might mean days, weeks, months or years.
Hope this helps.
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I get overwhelmed often by the amount of messages I receive. I can get so many it's hard to reply or keep up after an initial reply. Repeated appeals to meet, usually at very short notice, ppl getting shitty if I don't reply quickly enough, more requests to meet... |
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So quieter today 