FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Whys being young such a problem!
Whys being young such a problem!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I get so many hate mails saying im too young for a site like this, and i know some people wouldnt meet up with someone if there younger than there kids. Dose anyone else get this problem or is it maybe i come across in a bad way? maybe my profile is bad i don't know! if anyone would help me it would be much appreciated  |
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Get in there mate and get shaggin away. 21 is fine to be on here. Your an adult. Granted I would not pump you as your only 21 but there are allot of guys and girls in there 20s and 30s so shag away young chap shag away lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People have age limits and nothing wrong at all with that but I really dont see as long as you are over 18 be too young or too old for that matter either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's only a problem if you allow it to be 
I would say it's people just exercising their preferences.
OK so you might not match everyones, but you will match some peoples.
Take a closer look at who you are messaging and pick your contacts and friends wisely.
If you use the site and its resources effectively, your time will come. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - You're getting 'hate mails'???? If they genuinely are, I hope you're reporting them?
He's the basic problem with being a young guy in Swinging - there are very mature 21yr old guys (and girls!) and there are very IMmature 21yr old guys. Which are you? It is very hard to tell from a profile (but have to say yours is well written for a guy of your age - brownie point!) but much easier to decide in person. So, same as I say to all younger guys on here - get to a club on a REGULAR basis and get yourself known. The age issue is much less important at a club, and you are likely to make many more friends that way without the 'hate mail'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i know maybe you can help with some pictures? im nto really camra friendly! i hate taking pictures of myself, but il just get over that and take some more and why not meet anymore? bad experience? |
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It is rather surprising, and upsetting, if what you get is hate-mail. And that people think it's somehow morally wrong to be here at 21 is also odd. That many older people find that they have less of a rapport with 21 year olds is not so odd - but that said, there's loads of people in their twenties here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It doesnt upset me it just annoys me! I havent yet started to msg people who live outside Newcastle because i feel like im never going to meet them, so im just talking to people in newcastle and not many reaply!! i find alot of girls aroound my age, instantly block me when i msg them, when im just trying to have a normal convocation, makes me think there not even real!  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Are you getting hate mail or just messages deleted and blocked?.If its hate mail I hope your reporting the profiles,if blocked are you reading peoples profiles properly. "
i am glad someone said it...
getting hate mail... and people using preferences and deciding whether to not answer a message, or in fact block.... are not the same thing.....
we all have preferences... even you...
being bi will put some off...
not being to accomodate will put some off...
being young will put some off.....
you concentrate on one... it could be various.. some mentions... some not!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i know maybe you can help with some pictures? im nto really camra friendly! i hate taking pictures of myself, but il just get over that and take some more and why not meet anymore? bad experience? "
i would take some more for you, 
only you live too far away.
most young men who message me are too far away.
i was seeing a young man only he started to become unreliable, if someone lets me down more than once then i lose interest.
also i dont like some of the messages that young men send to me.
like, do you want my cock sort of thing.
the nicest messages i get from young men are from the ones who live hundreds of miles away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesnt upset me it just annoys me! I havent yet started to msg people who live outside Newcastle because i feel like im never going to meet them, so im just talking to people in newcastle and not many reaply!! i find alot of girls aroound my age, instantly block me when i msg them, when im just trying to have a normal convocation, makes me think there not even real! "
If it's LOCAL girls of YOUR AGE blocking you then it's pretty obvious, isn't it? They don't want to be meeting a LOCAL guy as they see it as potential hassle afterwards - plus there is the risk that YOU might spread it around where you live that they swing. There are a LOT of swingers of ALL ages who will not 'do it on their doorstep' for that very reason. Personal security comes first - specially for single women. Not only that, you list yourself as bi-curious - that may also get you blocked instantly by anyone who doesn't meet bi-guys. They may not say it in their profiles, but that may be their preference. |
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"Are you getting hate mail or just messages deleted and blocked?.If its hate mail I hope your reporting the profiles,if blocked are you reading peoples profiles properly.
i am glad someone said it...
getting hate mail... and people using preferences and deciding whether to not answer a message, or in fact block.... are not the same thing.....
we all have preferences... even you...
being bi will put some off...
not being to accomodate will put some off...
being young will put some off.....
you concentrate on one... it could be various.. some mentions... some not!!
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if they block of ignore you then they just arent interested.
if they tell you are too young then they are up their own asses.. i have seen these older people who believe everyone should live their lives like they did! seriously.. cos they are so perfect we should all be like them.. idiots |
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"I get so many hate mails saying im too young for a site like this, and i know some people wouldnt meet up with someone if there younger than there kids. Dose anyone else get this problem or is it maybe i come across in a bad way? maybe my profile is bad i don't know! if anyone would help me it would be much appreciated "
Haha I'm 22 and I get the same sometimes to young lol Ive said I will show you my id haha |
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"I get so many hate mails saying im too young for a site like this, and i know some people wouldnt meet up with someone if there younger than there kids. Dose anyone else get this problem or is it maybe i come across in a bad way? maybe my profile is bad i don't know! if anyone would help me it would be much appreciated "
I've just turned 22 and my partner is 21. Although we've had a lot of success meeting people, age can definitely be a hindrence.
To those of you who say you can't believe people go to any length to be rude to younger people based on their age, it really does happen!
Rachel and I went to a party once with around ten other couples. It was a great night and everyone was having a good time except one couple in their mid 30's who always seemed to be in the same room as us wherever we went and made a point of glaring at us when we made eye contact and turning their backs to us if we were in talking range. We had a laugh about that afterwards as it was clearly their problem not ours, but that could be quite intimidating and offputting for others, particularly those new to the scene.
That's not to mention a very awkward situation in which (I won't give details) but there was a severe sense of guilt attached to meeting my partner by half of a couple after they'd already had sex. Until it had been done and the guilt emerged, three of us had no idea the other felt that way.
So my advice Easyguy, is that you can't change your age but you can act in a sensible, mature way and accept that you will still be seen as too young by many people. You can't please everyone. There are plenty more fish in the sea though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The club I go to (which is the closest club to Newcastle I believe) requires members to be at least 25 so maybe some people feel people should be at least 25 to be swinging. It isn't my personal opinion, and obviously the age limit on here is 18 so no reason why you shouldn't be on here but if all or most of the clubs require members to be at least 25 I could see why some people might 'disapprove' of people younger than 25 swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get so many hate mails saying im too young for a site like this, and i know some people wouldnt meet up with someone if there younger than there kids. Dose anyone else get this problem or is it maybe i come across in a bad way? maybe my profile is bad i don't know! if anyone would help me it would be much appreciated
Mid thirties isnt that much older than you though.
they were acting weird, doesnt make sense, do you think they were jealous of you and your partner or what?
I've just turned 22 and my partner is 21. Although we've had a lot of success meeting people, age can definitely be a hindrence.
To those of you who say you can't believe people go to any length to be rude to younger people based on their age, it really does happen!
Rachel and I went to a party once with around ten other couples. It was a great night and everyone was having a good time except one couple in their mid 30's who always seemed to be in the same room as us wherever we went and made a point of glaring at us when we made eye contact and turning their backs to us if we were in talking range. We had a laugh about that afterwards as it was clearly their problem not ours, but that could be quite intimidating and offputting for others, particularly those new to the scene.
That's not to mention a very awkward situation in which (I won't give details) but there was a severe sense of guilt attached to meeting my partner by half of a couple after they'd already had sex. Until it had been done and the guilt emerged, three of us had no idea the other felt that way.
So my advice Easyguy, is that you can't change your age but you can act in a sensible, mature way and accept that you will still be seen as too young by many people. You can't please everyone. There are plenty more fish in the sea though "
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There's always people ready to be keyboard bitches which is a real shame. Personally you would be too young for me as I have a son older than you but I wouldn't dream of being horrible. Just ignore the haters as there's plenty of good sorts on here. Have fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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M8 dont even worry about it av had it said im too young for certain couples but thats just their preference theres no need to get annoyed about it just roll with the punches, theres plenty on couples and singles happy to meet younger lads and even 1s who only meet younger lads, broaden your search abit get yourself to the clubs and your on to a winner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm only 22 and also live in Newcastle. There are plenty that are happy to meet younger men, so long as age isnt your only selling point.
You will do well if you are mature and have more to offer than just youth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you have read a profile carefully and you dont take into account what age they are interested in well ppl do get a tad cross. but otherwise ppl shud just say a polite no thank you im not interested but some do and some dont have fun and good luck anyway. it says on my profile wont meet young so im okay lol cya  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you have read a profile carefully and you dont take into account what age they are interested in well ppl do get a tad cross. but otherwise ppl shud just say a polite no thank you im not interested but some do and some dont have fun and good luck anyway. it says on my profile wont meet young so im okay lol cya "
Totally appreciate what you are saying about reading people's age preferences, but i dont follow that as a rule any more. I've simply spoken to far too many women and couples who are happy make exceptions to their age preferences, so unless someone filters, i still occasionally send messages to those who prefer older (unless the written portion of the profile makes their preference extremely clear).
Only ever had one person give a rude response. Despite the fact i was just 2 years below their preference, they seemed angry about me messaging and sent abuse making lots of assumptions about me that would have been completely disproved by a quick glance at my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you have read a profile carefully and you dont take into account what age they are interested in well ppl do get a tad cross. but otherwise ppl shud just say a polite no thank you im not interested but some do and some dont have fun and good luck anyway. it says on my profile wont meet young so im okay lol cya
Totally appreciate what you are saying about reading people's age preferences, but i dont follow that as a rule any more. I've simply spoken to far too many women and couples who are happy make exceptions to their age preferences, so unless someone filters, i still occasionally send messages to those who prefer older (unless the written portion of the profile makes their preference extremely clear).
Only ever had one person give a rude response. Despite the fact i was just 2 years below their preference, they seemed angry about me messaging and sent abuse making lots of assumptions about me that would have been completely disproved by a quick glance at my profile."
And I hope you reported them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And I hope you reported them!"
I just blocked them. I think based on what they said that they'd been getting a lot of unwanted attention from younger guys and were getting fed up of it, and were lashing out.
Thought it'd be a bit harsh if they got banned or anything for that, as it doesn't really bother me if someone is rude; it's their problem not mine. I saw they raised their age pref and set filters before i blocked them, so they might be happier on here now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think younger women have it easier than the younger men. There are more individuals who would prefer to meet a young woman than a man.
Its just what i have seen on this site. Im not saying everyone is like this. There are of course those who like younger men and that is their preference.
..but to get abuse for age i dont think is acceptable. I have received abuse but thats usually due to my race. You do get quite deregoratory comments sometime and even those on your friends list receive the abuse (just for being your friend).
All i say is..pull your socks up, chin up..delete and move on
(rant over lol  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And I hope you reported them!
I just blocked them. I think based on what they said that they'd been getting a lot of unwanted attention from younger guys and were getting fed up of it, and were lashing out.
Thought it'd be a bit harsh if they got banned or anything for that, as it doesn't really bother me if someone is rude; it's their problem not mine. I saw they raised their age pref and set filters before i blocked them, so they might be happier on here now"
I am not sure they would get banned from the site, just restricted maybe for a few days from sending messages.
I hope they realise though that even though they have set the message filters, anyone they have exchanged messages with can still send them a messages as it does not block them only people not previously contacted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think younger women have it easier than the younger men. There are more individuals who would prefer to meet a young woman than a man.
Its just what i have seen on this site. Im not saying everyone is like this. There are of course those who like younger men and that is their preference.
..but to get abuse for age i dont think is acceptable. I have received abuse but thats usually due to my race. You do get quite deregoratory comments sometime and even those on your friends list receive the abuse (just for being your friend).
All i say is..pull your socks up, chin up..delete and move on
(rant over lol )"
That's disgusting and I hope you have reported them  |
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"im 20, and its like everyone i msg, seems to block me! or they just ignore me. I think theres just none in Newcastle! "
what do you class as hate mail? if you mean people saying no because you are to young then i seriously think you are misusing the word hate and it belittles people who do get abused. if you are genuinely getting abusive mail you need to report it to admin
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might not just be your age that people don't respond to. There may be numerous reasons and the lack of pictures doesn't help.
No-one has a God given right to get meets it does take some input and application! |
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By *oddessTCouple
over a year ago
Chester Le Street |
I don't think it's always about reading and digesting every word of a persons profile.
Most of the time mine says not looking for males - that's purely because I'd get hundreds of messages a day! And I'm not being big headed, its just what happens!
You have to get used to ignored messages, blunt replies and crude one liners......but work through them and you might just find a lovely (fallen) angel one day |
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You'll soon grow out of it! 