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Instablocking
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Hello, all! I was wondering if I am just doing it all wrong. I just seem to get instantly blocked by people when I message them. I read their profiles quite intently and their verifications. I might make a nice comment on their profile for example, some light small and casual statement about hoping they've been having a good or happy week, for example.
And for some reason, their profile becomes instantly unavailable once they've read my message. I always attach face photos, there is nothing ever explicit in there.
I know the ladies no doubt get inundated by a sea of dick on here, but I was wondering if there is something about maybe my look or the vibe of my profile?
Any advice for a single male reaching out to single females, who seem to be interested in attention.
Cheers
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Some people block profiles they don't want to respond to, some just delete the message, some ignore them. I wouldn't take it too personally. Your profile is fine, though I would maybe move the naked erect cock pic further down rather than number one. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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Your profile is not terrible so it's probably either the content of the messages or you are just not their type.
We block those who are just not our thing as it stops them wasting their and our time messaging over and over again.
Don't take it personally we all have a preference. |
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By *oxy jWoman 39 weeks ago
somerset |
your a man thats your number one problem why well you outnumber women and couples by huge % / numbers ..
then its down to finer details like sexual attraction & compatibility most just wont be interested just as in normal everyday life ... all you can do is have a profile that is you getting profile advice will give you a boring profile like all the others that asked just be you so people can pick if the like you or not ..
finally the forums are a tiny tiny part of fab fab is a tiny part of the scene too many people think the forums is the rulebook to swinging its not ... this scene is a incredibly hard scene to master if your a man most never get a meet some will get a bit here n there and a very few will do very very well ... its very much a rejection scene .... how much you want it is down to you if i was a single guy id be going to swinging clubs and getting known for the right reasons get the club bit right and then your feet on on the ladder |
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Yeah. I struggle the same with online dating. Think I am just a minger in the eyes of the majority of women.
I went to a club in Swinton recently. It was okay. Prefer the intimate nature of things really. Don't think clubs are for me generally. |
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Your defo not a minger OP and I wouldn't buy the lines folk will feed you about this being a rejection scene either.
It CAN be difficult for guys but it doesn't have to be. Apply your obvious intelligence.
Don't be discouraged. DO ask for advice and heed it. Your bio is decent and you photos are good.
So what else can you do? Messaging is just one way to interact with people and it's certainly the least efficient.
Play to your strengths. Find allies and make friends. The scene can be a community if you look past the immediate proposition of sex.
Join in with discussions and silly games on the forum for a few weeks.
See if you can gather attention in the chat rooms.
Attend social events. Honestly I think this is the most important one for a single guy. If people can see in your veri's that your a decent human and reliable you will find them not amenable to interaction.
There's plenty of other ND folks in the scene too btw |
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"Also the picture of you in the car reminds us of Superhans from Peep show lol 
omg you’re right.
take it as a compliment OP, superhans is legendary. "
Haha, sure, but without the personality...? I don't think he'd be getting many swipes on Tinder, let's put it that way. ahha! |
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By *ickD80Man 39 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others? |
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"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?"
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch. |
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By *riel13Woman 39 weeks ago
Northampton |
"Yeah. I struggle the same with online dating. Think I am just a minger in the eyes of the majority of women.
I went to a club in Swinton recently. It was okay. Prefer the intimate nature of things really. Don't think clubs are for me generally."
We are all a minger to the majority of who we are looking to attract... It's no big deal |
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"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch."
But it’s still a generic copy/paste that you could send to anyone. It doesn’t make you stand out, let’s put it that way. |
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By *archelCouple 39 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
Nice polite messages are a breath of fresh air from men on here, most are absolutely vile. Keep being you and don't be put off...you will click with someone eventually.
When guys send us nice messages we always respond, even if we're not interested...Some we end up chewing the fat with them. But we do instant block vile, rude and guys who send dick pics...or them who don't take no for an answer.
Keep being you, someone will appreciate you 
Mrs |
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Quite often, I get the same people I've already said a polite no thanks to back in my inbox again.
I'd save a lot of time if I just blocked everyone that didn't stand out to me.
Don't take it personally. Most people aren't compatible with most people. And blocking is just a way to reduce the number of pointless messages that won't go anywhere. |
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"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch.
But it’s still a generic copy/paste that you could send to anyone. It doesn’t make you stand out, let’s put it that way. "
Its an easy stance to take, I understand that. But, and this isn't just out of pure laziness, but in terms of mental efficency, there is only so much you can message people who in most cases have very little to engage with on their profile.
And its not exactly Tinder, where you mention you love playing the piano or going on a hike in Scotland. ??
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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Haven't read the whole of the thread, but I block men off a first message if they aren't my type. I don't read the message first, I read the profile first. I don't read the message if I don't like the profile, I just block |
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"Also, if I get as far as reading the message, I'd block an obvious copy and paste"
How do you keep a message polite and friendly, and not being seen as a copy and paste, without it bordering into messages that would be inappropriate. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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We only block if someone is persistant, starts being agressive or refuses to take no for an answer or sends a picture of their dick.
Sometimes people just block, its honestly a part of the site and there isn't anything anyone can really do about it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"Hello, all! I was wondering if I am just doing it all wrong. I just seem to get instantly blocked by people when I message them. I read their profiles quite intently and their verifications. I might make a nice comment on their profile for example, some light small and casual statement about hoping they've been having a good or happy week, for example.
And for some reason, their profile becomes instantly unavailable once they've read my message. I always attach face photos, there is nothing ever explicit in there.
I know the ladies no doubt get inundated by a sea of dick on here, but I was wondering if there is something about maybe my look or the vibe of my profile?
Any advice for a single male reaching out to single females, who seem to be interested in attention.
Cheers
"
... aaaaaand yet another decent guy getting nothing but ignorance on here. You are not alone mate, it's the fab rules .. this site really needs to scrap this notion that ignorance is ok and blocking and instant deleting constitutes a fair no thanks. A short and sweet thanks but no thanks is the very least any normal adult should be expected to reply with.
The site needs to change. It's just not a place for single guys quite frankly. I'm only here for the sexy pics and a bit of chat with the 1 or 2 people I've managed to make friends with, the rest really is a waste of your time and quite demoralising OP. You'd be way way more successful on a regular dating site looking for NSA or kinky fun. |
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"Hello, all! I was wondering if I am just doing it all wrong. I just seem to get instantly blocked by people when I message them. I read their profiles quite intently and their verifications. I might make a nice comment on their profile for example, some light small and casual statement about hoping they've been having a good or happy week, for example.
And for some reason, their profile becomes instantly unavailable once they've read my message. I always attach face photos, there is nothing ever explicit in there.
I know the ladies no doubt get inundated by a sea of dick on here, but I was wondering if there is something about maybe my look or the vibe of my profile?
Any advice for a single male reaching out to single females, who seem to be interested in attention.
Cheers
... aaaaaand yet another decent guy getting nothing but ignorance on here. You are not alone mate, it's the fab rules .. this site really needs to scrap this notion that ignorance is ok and blocking and instant deleting constitutes a fair no thanks. A short and sweet thanks but no thanks is the very least any normal adult should be expected to reply with.
The site needs to change. It's just not a place for single guys quite frankly. I'm only here for the sexy pics and a bit of chat with the 1 or 2 people I've managed to make friends with, the rest really is a waste of your time and quite demoralising OP. You'd be way way more successful on a regular dating site looking for NSA or kinky fun. "
Ah, I've been on dating apps for years, and I'm simply too average looking for them. Hypergamy and all that haha |
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By *bi HaiveMan 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Hello, all! I was wondering if I am just doing it all wrong. I just seem to get instantly blocked by people when I message them. I read their profiles quite intently and their verifications. I might make a nice comment on their profile for example, some light small and casual statement about hoping they've been having a good or happy week, for example.
And for some reason, their profile becomes instantly unavailable once they've read my message. I always attach face photos, there is nothing ever explicit in there.
I know the ladies no doubt get inundated by a sea of dick on here, but I was wondering if there is something about maybe my look or the vibe of my profile?
Any advice for a single male reaching out to single females, who seem to be interested in attention.
Cheers
... aaaaaand yet another decent guy getting nothing but ignorance on here. You are not alone mate, it's the fab rules .. this site really needs to scrap this notion that ignorance is ok and blocking and instant deleting constitutes a fair no thanks. A short and sweet thanks but no thanks is the very least any normal adult should be expected to reply with.
The site needs to change. It's just not a place for single guys quite frankly. I'm only here for the sexy pics and a bit of chat with the 1 or 2 people I've managed to make friends with, the rest really is a waste of your time and quite demoralising OP. You'd be way way more successful on a regular dating site looking for NSA or kinky fun. "
But it's not ignorance is it?
The junk mail analogy is often used. You don't reply to your local pizza place if you don't like pizza when they drop a menu through the door.
The spam email analogy works too. Nobody responds to those if they're not interested.
Given the volume of messages some recieve it would be unfair and a total waste of their time to concentrate on sending 'no thanks' replies to anyone they have zero interest in engaging with, over using their time on site to look for compatible people.
The site FAQ's are pretty clear on this. |
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By *orny-DJMan 39 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
You've been here for just 3 weeks.
What were you really expecting?
That after knocking up a quick profile you'd be fighting off horny women by lunch time?
You're likely only going to be of appeal to a select few - and of those, you might notbe intetested in about half.
What is your experience out in tge real world?
It's no different here.
Nobody owes you a reply.
Many use blocking as a filter, for example to prevent repeat messages from those they're not interested in.
You see, you may be of the opinion that you meetcall of tge requirements they may have listed but you are forgetting the onecrucial thing and that is that they still have to fancy you.
Or did you think that because this is a 'sex site' - (it isn't, it's a swinging site - slight difference) - that everyone is gagging for it and will fuck anyone who asks?
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"You've been here for just 3 weeks.
What were you really expecting?
That after knocking up a quick profile you'd be fighting off horny women by lunch time?
You're likely only going to be of appeal to a select few - and of those, you might notbe intetested in about half.
What is your experience out in tge real world?
It's no different here.
Nobody owes you a reply.
Many use blocking as a filter, for example to prevent repeat messages from those they're not interested in.
You see, you may be of the opinion that you meetcall of tge requirements they may have listed but you are forgetting the onecrucial thing and that is that they still have to fancy you.
Or did you think that because this is a 'sex site' - (it isn't, it's a swinging site - slight difference) - that everyone is gagging for it and will fuck anyone who asks?
"
Bypassing the latent and implied accusations of entitlement in this response. ??
Listen, my thread wasn't to instigate some sort of pity party for being butthurt. It was just a genuine request for perhaps finding a way to tailor my profile or approach.
If there is nothing I can do, that's fine. |
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By *orny-DJMan 39 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch."
I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with site rules, forum rules and tge site FAQs.
It is against forum rules to post the content of private messages. Private messages should remain private - no matter how generic or impersonal they may appear.
The site FAQs clearly state tgat a non-response should be taken as a 'no, thank you' and even explain why. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Also, if I get as far as reading the message, I'd block an obvious copy and paste
How do you keep a message polite and friendly, and not being seen as a copy and paste, without it bordering into messages that would be inappropriate."
I think this is a no win situation from some, say a one liner, it isn't enough, send a few lines, it isn't enough. what you have to remember, it isn't enough for "some" people. For others it would be a polite e-mail from a man.
Our first meet was with a man who's first mail was a one liner that made us laugh out loud, it was a way in to chat more.
Be yourself, you won't be able to please everyone. |
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"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch.
I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with site rules, forum rules and tge site FAQs.
It is against forum rules to post the content of private messages. Private messages should remain private - no matter how generic or impersonal they may appear.
The site FAQs clearly state tgat a non-response should be taken as a 'no, thank you' and even explain why."
Okay, this seems pedantic, but will now say that the message example is a 'paraphrase'.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Weird that you attach face photos when you have 5 face photos on your profile.
Weird that whenever a man posts about women not reading his messages there are loads of replies from women saying that they receive hundreds of messages every day so they don’t have time to read all of them and most of the time they’ll just delete messages without even reading them but whenever you message a woman they always have the time to open your message, go to your profile and block you. I wonder why women always seem to have more time available when you message them compared to when other men message them.
If women really do receive hundreds of messages every day and can’t possibly look at them all, like they often claim, what is it about your messages that compels them to take the time to open them, go to your profile and block you rather than just delete it like the others?
I'm sort of at a loss? haha. This was an example message that suffered the same fate.
"Hey ***.
Just was just browsing your profile and had a peek at your verifications. You certainly sound like a pretty great woman!
Hope you've had a happy week so far? Almost at the weekend...at last!
Have a little look at what I am about, if interested!"
Sure, it's not the greatest message of all time. But it's friendly, curious and intriguing and an attempt to instigate a conversation without being a letch.
I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with site rules, forum rules and tge site FAQs.
It is against forum rules to post the content of private messages. Private messages should remain private - no matter how generic or impersonal they may appear.
The site FAQs clearly state tgat a non-response should be taken as a 'no, thank you' and even explain why."
He is posting what HE sent, not someone else's messages as the forum rules refer to
The FAQ's about replies are not rules. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the question, as you have found out, some people block, some people just delete mails from people they are not interested in. Try not to take it personally, it just means they are not for you....but someone will be, you just have to be patient.
Your profile seems to be what a lot of people say they like, a few bits of info and a face pic or two.
Are you any good at large socials? if so it could be a way for you to meet a lot of people in the same place.
Either way while you are waiting for a reply...stick around and join in on the forum, it may get you noticed
Good luck |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
The junk mail analogy is often used. You don't reply to your local pizza place if you don't like pizza when they drop a menu through the door.
The spam email analogy works too. Nobody responds to those if they're not interested.
"
I never get this analogy, if I stood in a pizza place with an advert saying I want pizza, then the analogy fits and if they then asked me did I want their pizza I would say yay or nay.
So for me, having a profile on a site asking for meets, it would be polite for us to say yay or nay to the people who mailed us asking for that meet. |
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"To the question, as you have found out, some people block, some people just delete mails from people they are not interested in. Try not to take it personally, it just means they are not for you....but someone will be, you just have to be patient.
Your profile seems to be what a lot of people say they like, a few bits of info and a face pic or two.
Are you any good at large socials? if so it could be a way for you to meet a lot of people in the same place.
Either way while you are waiting for a reply...stick around and join in on the forum, it may get you noticed
Good luck "
Yeah, I'll stick around on the forum! Didn't even know it existed till like yesterday! haha.
To be honest, large socials aren't generally my thing. Or at least I don't 'enjoy' them, and if I'm there without enjoying myself, it seems a little bit masochistic to put myself through it repeatedly. I've been to a club, and thought it was just a little bit too 'on the nose'. Haha |
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Yeah this happens a lot on this site it’s always can we see a pic you send one and instant block I mean I’m not everyone cup of tea but I’m a big boy they could just say no thanks and we can both happily move on but what do I know |
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By *orny-DJMan 39 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"
He is posting what HE sent, not someone else's messages as the forum rules refer to
The FAQ's about replies are not rules."
To be fair, the forum rules aren't that specific, and I quote :
'Please don't post private mail to the forums no matter how idiotic/funny it may be. It is strictly against site rules.'
And I never said that tge FAQs were rules, I just suggested the OP might want to familiarise himself with them AND with the site rules. |
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"
He is posting what HE sent, not someone else's messages as the forum rules refer to
The FAQ's about replies are not rules.
To be fair, the forum rules aren't that specific, and I quote :
'Please don't post private mail to the forums no matter how idiotic/funny it may be. It is strictly against site rules.'
And I never said that tge FAQs were rules, I just suggested the OP might want to familiarise himself with them AND with the site rules."
I think we need to use common sense, and a bit of nuance here. Clearly no private information was disclosed, it was an outgoing message, that had no response, and there is little to no personal details included in the message. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"To the question, as you have found out, some people block, some people just delete mails from people they are not interested in. Try not to take it personally, it just means they are not for you....but someone will be, you just have to be patient.
Your profile seems to be what a lot of people say they like, a few bits of info and a face pic or two.
Are you any good at large socials? if so it could be a way for you to meet a lot of people in the same place.
Either way while you are waiting for a reply...stick around and join in on the forum, it may get you noticed
Good luck
Yeah, I'll stick around on the forum! Didn't even know it existed till like yesterday! haha.
To be honest, large socials aren't generally my thing. Or at least I don't 'enjoy' them, and if I'm there without enjoying myself, it seems a little bit masochistic to put myself through it repeatedly. I've been to a club, and thought it was just a little bit too 'on the nose'. Haha"
I had to go google what on the nose meant but now get what you mean
Yeah the big socials are not for everyone either, but maybe once you get to know a few people on the forum that might turn into smaller socials. There are some lovely people on here who will welcome you in the lounge. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
The junk mail analogy is often used. You don't reply to your local pizza place if you don't like pizza when they drop a menu through the door.
The spam email analogy works too. Nobody responds to those if they're not interested.
I never get this analogy, if I stood in a pizza place with an advert saying I want pizza, then the analogy fits and if they then asked me did I want their pizza I would say yay or nay.
So for me, having a profile on a site asking for meets, it would be polite for us to say yay or nay to the people who mailed us asking for that meet. "
I get that. I guess the difference is that you've chosen to go into a pizza place where generally the sole reason for being there is to get pizza and want one there and then.
On here there's much more variation.
Who, how, when and where people meet isn't as cut and dried, and if people are messaging assuming they're a good fit and potentially compatible then that won't always be the case. People aren't always looking to meet just because they're online and I think some do often forget that.
Plus some don't read the important bits in profiles that make it obvious they're never gonna be of interest.
I guess in my mind the onus is on the sender to both make sure there's at least a chance they may suit someone based on what they see, but also to accept that we can't be everyone's cup of tea and that a message being ignored or deleted with no reply is part and parcel of being on site.
It's a two way street. People can often do much more to minimise a lack of response. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"Also the picture of you in the car reminds us of Superhans from Peep show lol
omg you’re right.
take it as a compliment OP, superhans is legendary. "
Yeah it was a compliment for sure. Don't worry OP |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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It happens I sometimes get to talking to couples on the phone and they blocked on here maybe they block so many they get mixed up but I never hold a number on my phone upto them if they want to contact me but happens a lot but most people are nice so probably not lost anything |
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By *ugby 123Couple 39 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I get that. I guess the difference is that you've chosen to go into a pizza place where generally the sole reason for being there is to get pizza and want one there and then.
On here there's much more variation.
Who, how, when and where people meet isn't as cut and dried, and if people are messaging assuming they're a good fit and potentially compatible then that won't always be the case. People aren't always looking to meet just because they're online and I think some do often forget that.
Plus some don't read the important bits in profiles that make it obvious they're never gonna be of interest.
I guess in my mind the onus is on the sender to both make sure there's at least a chance they may suit someone based on what they see, but also to accept that we can't be everyone's cup of tea and that a message being ignored or deleted with no reply is part and parcel of being on site.
It's a two way street. People can often do much more to minimise a lack of response. "
I half agree, if a profile is straight forward in what they don't want and it says we are not meeting at the moment then if someone still mails they may not get a reply as the person hasn't read the profile.
However if people don't have that on their profile and a person thinks he/she/they fit the bill to what the person/people are asking for then they will probably send a mail in the hope of a meet as the profile is active and is out there advertising themselves.
A pizza shop wouldn't ignore you if you asked them for the pizza they are advertising ( hope it doesn't have pineapple on )
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By *rpeggioCouple 39 weeks ago
Baughurst |
It is normal that after 3 weeks you get nowhere, some men take months to get a response let alone a meet. It is not normal if you get blocked 100% times though, usually you would see some replies with a no thanks, also simply a no response with a deletion.
Take blocking as the neutral 'no thanks' response preferred by the women you approached, so that neither party wastes time again.
Your profile is not offensive and you do not come across as entitled or arrogant in the profile or here in the forum. If you are unattractive to the people you wrote, then that's what it is, but you are doing nothing OFFENSIVE in my opinion. My vote/bet would be on 'not appealing enough' until now
Success wise, you may do other things with your messages, profile, photos etc. You mentioned about piano, hiking Scotland, etc... Why not? Nothing wrong to have that in your profile or messages. We like to meet and swing with people, not with just sexual body parts, so nothing wrong to mention things that you like. They give an idea of the kind of person you might be. |
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By *oxy jWoman 39 weeks ago
somerset |
just accept the block button is a tool to help with finding people you like ... most people dislike other people when it comes to basic attraction its a basic fact of life not just swinging ..
people quoating theres someone fore every one i agree in the real world there is but on the swinging scene its not the case yes if your a couple or woman then yes deffo but if your a guy then simple maths will tell you that for men there is NOT someone for everyone the percentages alone will tell you that .. thats not a anti guy thing its just a fact.,...
i block for many many reasons it works for me very well i get to meet often with out the hassle of guys im simply not interested in |
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I am looking for someone who enjoys playing the piano and going hiking in Scotland. Sigh.
Shame you don’t like swingers clubs, aren’t within my 30 mile preferred area, and aren’t tall. Sadly even with the piano and hiking passions you’d still get blocked if you messaged me repeatedly. It’s overwhelming being a single female on here and you lose people you like down your inbox if you don’t delete the ones you aren’t interested quickly. You have to chose what to filter by and do it ruthlessly. I do it on location and height first of all. The taller the better for me. Over 6’4 will get a reply even if they are 100 miles away. We all have our criteria and what is most important is to be honest and true to yourself and then you’ll meet the people who are truly interested in and interesting to you. |
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Twilight,
You need to send a message that stands outs but isn’t too sleazy or forward in what you’re saying.
I usually start off with a polite hello and a little bit about myself and leave it open for them to reply if they want to.
I’m one of however many men trying to get the attention of a female account which gets numerous messages a day and also realize that not everyone is for everyone.
If you get to six months with no response then I’d be more worried than after three weeks mate.
The blocking seems to be so that the woman / couple don’t get another message from you in future as I too have messaged someone and then clicked profile to be told I’m blocked but no different to being blown out by someone in a nightclub / the real world is it? |
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"Hello, all! I was wondering if I am just doing it all wrong. I just seem to get instantly blocked by people when I message them. I read their profiles quite intently and their verifications. I might make a nice comment on their profile for example, some light small and casual statement about hoping they've been having a good or happy week, for example.
And for some reason, their profile becomes instantly unavailable once they've read my message. I always attach face photos, there is nothing ever explicit in there.
I know the ladies no doubt get inundated by a sea of dick on here, but I was wondering if there is something about maybe my look or the vibe of my profile?
Any advice for a single male reaching out to single females, who seem to be interested in attention.
Cheers
"
Even cpls get blocked. Look at us we are both bi. Some straight cpls block us straight away. Don't take it personal or fab can affect your mental health. Some use blocking as a filter to stop others messaging again ect |
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Passive blocking is great along with the accounts filtering system. It’s what makes the site useable.
For instance there’s a forum post about barebacking …..Absolute 10/10 Instablock to all its members and posters. |
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"Passive blocking is great along with the accounts filtering system. It’s what makes the site useable.
For instance there’s a forum post about barebacking …..Absolute 10/10 Instablock to all its members and posters. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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If my message gets deleted or read and no reply, I block that profile, I think this is the best way as then we don’t show up in each others searches and there’s no interest on there behalf for interaction which is fine on both sides |
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"Yeah. I struggle the same with online dating. Think I am just a minger in the eyes of the majority of women.
I went to a club in Swinton recently. It was okay. Prefer the intimate nature of things really. Don't think clubs are for me generally.
We are all a minger to the majority of who we are looking to attract... It's no big deal "
Great line  |
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The main difficulty is that everyone within a reasonable distance just have very baron profiles. Literally apart from their age and stats, they'll have have a full stop as their profile text, or something vague like 'looking for single guys', or something just as glib. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"You've been here for just 3 weeks.
What were you really expecting?
That after knocking up a quick profile you'd be fighting off horny women by lunch time?
You're likely only going to be of appeal to a select few - and of those, you might notbe intetested in about half.
What is your experience out in tge real world?
It's no different here.
Nobody owes you a reply.
Many use blocking as a filter, for example to prevent repeat messages from those they're not interested in.
You see, you may be of the opinion that you meetcall of tge requirements they may have listed but you are forgetting the onecrucial thing and that is that they still have to fancy you.
Or did you think that because this is a 'sex site' - (it isn't, it's a swinging site - slight difference) - that everyone is gagging for it and will fuck anyone who asks?
"
Did he say that or even imply it....NO. |
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