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Message Etiquette
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Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
"
Your profile pic is probably good enough and you can certainly use a template but just bare in mind that a lot of guys copy and paste spam messages so tolerance for a lack of creativity and sincere interest is very low. |
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
Your profile pic is probably good enough and you can certainly use a template but just bare in mind that a lot of guys copy and paste spam messages so tolerance for a lack of creativity and sincere interest is very low."
This is good advice
Mrs |
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
"
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort. |
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By *ickD80Man 49 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort. "
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them. |
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Don't message anyone. Write up a decent profile, put a hat on, put the kettle on and wait for the floodgates to open. 
Seriously, its a massive waste of time messaging people on here. Most of it will never get read and the rest left on read.  |
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort.
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them. "
And maybe, ( I have a Wolverhampton accent man-see I read your profile) maybe it’s that unwillingness to reference something in their profile which is resulting in you getting no responses. Just a thought.  |
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By *ickD80Man 49 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort.
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them.
And maybe, ( I have a Wolverhampton accent man-see I read your profile) maybe it’s that unwillingness to reference something in their profile which is resulting in you getting no responses. Just a thought. "
You may have read my profile but I don’t think you read my post very well because at no point did I say I was unwilling to reference something in their profile and at no point did I say that I don’t do it, all I said was that i don’t understand why so much importance is put on it because it doesn’t really prove anything. |
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"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does. "
I don't send a lot of messages, but the ones I send generally get answered. Maybe because I only message people when I've genuinely got something to say? |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 49 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does. "
I’ve replied to most mails that have at least a paragraph in it, if it’s just got ‘hey’ ‘wot u up2’ then no, I probably wouldn’t
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I think it does make a difference if you pick up in something in a profile, especially if it's a common interest you have. I dont copy and paste messages and never expect a reply, some couples and single girls must get hundreds. If you dint expect a reply it's great when you do get one happy valentine's everyone and happy fabbing |
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort.
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them. "
There is so many negative and cynical assumptions in here it's hard to know where to start.
I suppose each person has to have some kind filter and way of prioritising what they read and who they respond to.
So it follows that messages that demonstrate things like sincere interest, curiosity, creativity, and humor will be more attractive up front than one liners and copy pasta spam.
Sure you could say that prior are just manipulating but that's very cynical. It's just as easy to say, and much more encouraging, that they are using there intelligence and creativity to maximise the possibility of a positive interaction. That's why we are here after all. Fit positive interactions that lead to great sex.
I feel like that's a no brainer. It's certainly what I've read women state over and over again.
Not only the women though. The men who get replies will tell you the same thing.
I get the replies to nearly all of my messages and I honestly believe that it's because in each case I aim to start a conversation and I only message people I'm really interested in and am inspired to say something.
The only messages ignore are from single men with no class (if I have my filters down) and obviously fake couple's. And both are rare enough for me |
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I respond to all messages I receive, providing I can make sense of it. But then I don't receive the same volume as single ladies or couples. And I've seen some of the shit they get through the couples profile I share with a friend.
I rarely send them, but when I do it's to introduce myself and possibly comment on their profile.
I don't always get a response, but when I do it's led to some interesting chats and often more.
If you don't try, you don't get. But make your messages considered and count and you never know.
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does.
I've had a few too
Take your word for it too"
You don't need to the hundreds of meet veris that the 2 single guys who replied have between clearly tell they have both been extremely successful.
KJ |
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By *ickD80Man 49 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does.
I've had a few too
Take your word for it too
You don't need to the hundreds of meet veris that the 2 single guys who replied have between clearly tell they have both been extremely successful.
KJ"
Verifications don’t prove anything, it doesn’t prove that a meet took place it just proves that 2 profiles have written a verification saying that a meet took place. I’m not saying that either of them have fake verifications, I don’t know which are real and which are fake, but it’s possible for 2 people to give each other a meet verification without ever meeting each other if they wanted to so therefore verifications don’t prove anything if they can be so easily faked.
I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said ‘I’ll take your word for it’ I was being literal, I have no way of knowing how many replies either of them get other than them saying they get a lot so I’ll just have to take their word for it. |
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"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does.
I've had a few too
Take your word for it too
You don't need to the hundreds of meet veris that the 2 single guys who replied have between clearly tell they have both been extremely successful.
KJ
Verifications don’t prove anything, it doesn’t prove that a meet took place it just proves that 2 profiles have written a verification saying that a meet took place. I’m not saying that either of them have fake verifications, I don’t know which are real and which are fake, but it’s possible for 2 people to give each other a meet verification without ever meeting each other if they wanted to so therefore verifications don’t prove anything if they can be so easily faked.
I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said ‘I’ll take your word for it’ I was being literal, I have no way of knowing how many replies either of them get other than them saying they get a lot so I’ll just have to take their word for it. "
There's no discussion possible with a response like that. Once again it is simply pure cynicism with a veneer of logic that doesn't hold up under the clear light of day.
There are always men on Fab who will tell other men not to bother messaging or not expect a reply simply because they haven't been able to get one themselves.
The simple fact is that fab is full of men who do well in the scene. They just don't hang around bragging about it the way the guys who get nowhere do. |
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Response rates are directly related to effort put in. Brief profile and short messages, (eg Hi ), get low to zero replies. Comprehensive profiles, with good intro messages stand far better chance of response. Messages don't have to be long, but ideally link you to something in the recipients profile.
Just remember that the recipient is free to choose who they message as much as you are and therefore you are not entitled to a response , so don't get disalusioned and bitter if you get no replies, just change your style of messaging/update profile
.
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I wouldn’t stress about it, you’re not going to get any replies, no one does. "
We will second that. Were a couple and we don't get any replies. Think we are hated on here or something. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"Don't message anyone. Write up a decent profile, put a hat on, put the kettle on and wait for the floodgates to open.
Seriously, its a massive waste of time messaging people on here. Most of it will never get read and the rest left on read. "
Funny but very true.
My outgoing to incoming messages ratio is probably 1:50. It used to be 1:100. Now I’m choosy in who I message.
I got fat fingers, so do minimal in a message. Couple of lines.
Just my profile pic. I do have more success if I attach face pics (black strip actress eyes, in case fab gets hacked)
I don’t and won’t have dik pics.
What surprised me that the ladies who bothered to reply are absolute hot ladies. They have all appeared frequently on the first page of today’s hot ladies. They receive on an Average 1500+ fab like per day for their photos. I’m sure their mail boxes must be flooded. They are courteous in their messages.
How they manage to reply, I don’t know. They are not standard copy paste replies, but pertaining to my earlier messages.
I suppose they treat it as fan mail and have a few elves replying on their behalf
I don’t message anyone who has a long list of do and don’ts.
I don’t message if I’m not what they are looking for. For ex. If they like bearded men and I’m not, why be an idiot and message them.
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"Response rates are directly related to effort put in. Brief profile and short messages, (eg Hi ), get low to zero replies. Comprehensive profiles, with good intro messages stand far better chance of response. Messages don't have to be long, but ideally link you to something in the recipients profile.
Just remember that the recipient is free to choose who they message as much as you are and therefore you are not entitled to a response , so don't get disalusioned and bitter if you get no replies, just change your style of messaging/update profile
.
"
The person posting in not bitter. Just stating facts. So many ladies here admit that very very few men actually gave meet-ups.
And most of the forum topic replies are either helpful or banter and humorous.
So we men are just joining in the fun.
Look at the funny side of things. Don’t take fab so seriously. |
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For us it’s simple, a message with a few characters (yes I said characters and not words) will just get a “no” back if they are lucky. A generic message which looks like a copy/paste message will probably get a “thank you” - they always seem to reference nice profile/nice pics etc. A message with substance and effort put into it, whether that’s referencing our profile or giving us an insight into the personality of the sender will always get a suitable reply.
Very important to point out that it’s the subsequent messages that really matter - it’s amazing how many send a second message that’s totally inappropriate |
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By *elkieWoman 48 weeks ago
Durham |
"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort.
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them. "
You were complaining upthread that nobody responds to your messages; this is why. Asking questions gets a conversation going which builds connection which leads to friendship which leads to sex. Get to know the person you’re messaging, don’t just talk about yourself. |
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"Signed up for a while but not really used so advice sought.
1) When sending a first message is your profile picture shown & will this satisfy requests for a photo with a first message, or is it protocol to send a different one?
2) Is a template hello message best or will that get me flagged as a bot?
Ps I'm not a bot, I think?!
If someone is asking for a face pic in first message I'd say your profile pic is fine. Most people don't have face pics on their public profile which is why a lot ask for one.
Template messages can be easy to spot and a lot (me included) won't reply.
Best to show you bothered to read their profile by adding in something that obviously applies to them and shows you've made an effort.
I really don’t get why so many people put so much importance on people writing something that’s personal to their profile in the first message. It doesn’t prove that the person read your whole profile, it proves they read the part that they reference. I assume people think that a person who reads a profile before messaging someone is more considerate to other people and not just interested in themselves but if the person knows that they’re more likely to get a reply if they refer to something in the profile then the only reason they read the profile could be to increase their chances of getting a reply which is kind of a selfish thing to do and definitely a calculated and manipulative thing to do. And it really doesn’t take that much effort to read a profile anyway, just because someone has spent 1 minute reading a profile it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is the sort of person who’s willing to make an effort for others as it’s not much of an effort. Im very lazy and rarely make much of an effort with anything but even I’m not so lazy that I can’t be bothered to read a profile.
People say that referring to the profile in the first message shows that the person is interested in other people and willing to make an effort, and it could mean that, but it could also mean that the person does things to manipulate the way others see them to make themselves more attractive and increase their chances of getting what they want, even if they project a false impression of themselves.
I’d say that it’s more important to receive a message that reflects someone’s true personality rather than their ability to read a couple of paragraphs and comment on a detail or 2 from them. "
I'd say you're a lawyer. |
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