FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Unread messages
Unread messages
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
|
Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
|
This happens alot with me. I just put it down to being a single man and not in a couple.
Another reason could be they may be receiving so many messages you just fall through the net.
Keep positive you are a sexy couple someone would be stupid not to reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most women/couples browse profiles in ninja mode.
When we get a message I'll click the profile & see if it matches what we are looking for - if not I generally don't reply unless it's a specifically well written message.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
|
"Most women/couples browse profiles in ninja mode.
When we get a message I'll click the profile & see if it matches what we are looking for - if not I generally don't reply unless it's a specifically well written message.
Mrs "
Thanks, we figured as much but being a bit green here, we don’t want to follow up to what seem like great matches , as fab don’t recommend that and we don’t want to seem pushy. Also, we certainly aren’t desperate, just looking to introduce something extra to what we already have. I’m sure it’ll work out in good time. Thanks for the reply |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most women live in ninja mode to escape the 'saw you looking' messages when they viewed a profile and then left without comment because it didn't appeal to them.
Bisexual women who want to play with couples are fairly rare. Then add in everyone feeling all parties are attractive, distance, general compatibility, the constant stream of messages from people who don't fit. There's a reason so many refer to them as unicorns. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’re not sure if there is the occasional bug on messaging. We have a friend whom we have sent messages to and they have not appeared read to us but have been. Happens very rarely though so most people are probably just deciding not to read the message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ojo2joWoman 41 weeks ago
Penclawdd |
Firstly, you look like an attractive couple and have some nice arty photos.
As you’re trying to attract a single woman you are one couple of many looking for the same so just a case of polite, well worded messages.
Follow up messages can be negative if received quickly but if after a week or so not so bad if they are still focused on the person you’ve messaged.
As a single woman, I would like to see fairly equal photos of both halves of the couple because it’s an equal ‘partnership’ I would be looking for (if looking). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi op
I'm not bi so not your target market, but you're looking for the same as the majority of other couples on fab.
You don't really say what you'd offer a woman joining you & bi fems can afford to be choosy here.
Many couples say they do better meeting ladies at clubs than on here do maybe consider that too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
|
Looking for guys we don’t have to message first generally but we changed our settings so people can’t see we looked at their profile.
But generally we leave unread if we are looking to get back to them, life gets in way and not always in the mood for fab talk 24/7 lol sometimes get a lot of messages come through, we open and leave them on read or delete if not interested so you never know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We aren’t your target market and we don’t look for females but we do have a lot of unicorn friends in the scene. The vast majority that we know have well over 200 unread messages in their inbox. We would recommend clubs for sure, messages to unicorns can easily get lost on Fab. V&K xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? "
When you send messages it's best to forget about them and not check if they've been read. If someone wants to reply they will. Many won't reply to profiles without meet verifications. If you go to a club or a social event you'll be able to get some verifications and make you're profile more attractive. From reading other threads many like yourselves don't have much joy in finding a single Lady on Fab, personally our experiences have come in clubs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickD80Man 41 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? "
You’re not verified |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You're not verified (green flag isn't a verification). We dont reply to messages from couples unless they have at least one recent verification from another couple with good verifications. So many fakes on here with a green flag only, so many couples/single females are wary of that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? "
We found some profiles some couples also take longer to reply as they only will read messages together which may take them longer to get to then as 1 may be at work nights (mr) then other (mrs) works days so it could take them 2weeks b4 they are together to read and reply.
So don't give up hope yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
|
" We found some profiles some couples also take longer to reply as they only will read messages together which may take them longer to get to then as 1 may be at work nights (mr) then other (mrs) works days so it could take them 2weeks b4 they are together to read and reply.
So don't give up hope yet."
Yep, we do this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
|
1. Some accounts get a lot of mail and your may have been missed
2. People can peek at your profile before reading the message, and may decide to not read your message after checking you out.
3. Some accounts are fake and don't read any messages
4. Don't worry about it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's probably just that the ladies in question have looked at your profile and just aren't interested.
That's not a slight at all. There are so few women compared to everyone looking for them and the amount of messages they receive are ridiculous so they can be as picky as they like to get the perfect fit for them.
I'm sure you'll have some luck at some point. In the mean time, I'd consider your profile, make sure you've got a good variety of pics of both of you, consider if you've written a bio that doesn't make you seem like unicorn hunters, consider the age of the women you're looking for and whether some of said ages would realistically be interested in you etc. Carefully crafted profiles really do help. You can also consider your messages, do they stand out? Have tou given information about you but also included what you'd like to know about them? It's very much a case of "what do you offer a meet?" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? "
It’s just the way of fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As 7 year vet of fab as couple then as a single male, messages being unread goes with the teritory. If your messaging single ladies then your chances are lo, couples get about 5% of mail that single ladies do and single guys get like 5% of what couples do. The best option is to get yourselves to a club or social |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm out of your age range but as a single fem I won't meet couples who aren't meet verified. Verifications let me know that you've played well and that you're safe to meet. Perhaps get yourself to a social to meet fems in a social setting without any pressure, the Gloucester one is coming up on the 23rd. It's a great way to get verified in person xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We found some profiles some couples also take longer to reply as they only will read messages together which may take them longer to get to then as 1 may be at work nights (mr) then other (mrs) works days so it could take them 2weeks b4 they are together to read and reply."
This is us exactly. We often leave messages unread until we both have a chance to read and answer them together. If we’re both busy it can be a while! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As several people have said, most people will check the profile before reading a message. If there’s anything even slightly off putting in the profile, such as implied kinkshaming for example, I’d not bother reading the message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It may be a combination of they are not interested but do not wish to appear rude by deleting , they may simply have a plethora of message , or simply would prefer you to cancel the message , there can be many reasons. We would advocate attending clubs , networking with fellow Fabbers at the club .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
"
Instagram swingers, thats a new one. We like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickD80Man 41 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
"
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then?"
Absolutely, but if that's your opening line then it sets a tone of what you want and expect so you have to be messaging similar.
For example if they messaged a woman who was size 12/14 that womean is likely to feel judged and intimated, if the desire of the OP is gym fit. I have no issues with that but if they are hoping to attract a range of people, then that opening line is not going help their cause.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickD80Man 41 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then?
Absolutely, but if that's your opening line then it sets a tone of what you want and expect so you have to be messaging similar.
For example if they messaged a woman who was size 12/14 that womean is likely to feel judged and intimated, if the desire of the OP is gym fit. I have no issues with that but if they are hoping to attract a range of people, then that opening line is not going help their cause.
"
They describe themselves as gym fit, they don’t say they’re looking for gym fit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aizyWoman 41 weeks ago
west midlands |
Sometimes I go days without even looking at my msgs on here I just log in for the forums. You could delete your sent msgs once you have sent them, stops you looking to see if you have been read or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then?
Absolutely, but if that's your opening line then it sets a tone of what you want and expect so you have to be messaging similar.
For example if they messaged a woman who was size 12/14 that womean is likely to feel judged and intimated, if the desire of the OP is gym fit. I have no issues with that but if they are hoping to attract a range of people, then that opening line is not going help their cause.
They describe themselves as gym fit, they don’t say they’re looking for gym fit. "
It's an unnecessary statement.
Calling yourself attractive is a very self assured position. I don't find anything about them attractive, for example. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickD80Man 41 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then?
Absolutely, but if that's your opening line then it sets a tone of what you want and expect so you have to be messaging similar.
For example if they messaged a woman who was size 12/14 that womean is likely to feel judged and intimated, if the desire of the OP is gym fit. I have no issues with that but if they are hoping to attract a range of people, then that opening line is not going help their cause.
They describe themselves as gym fit, they don’t say they’re looking for gym fit.
It's an unnecessary statement.
Calling yourself attractive is a very self assured position. I don't find anything about them attractive, for example. "
I agree that it’s self assured but there’s nothing wrong with being self assured, some people like to see self confidence in others and find that a very attractive trait so I’m guessing it wouldn’t put them off. If someone doesn’t like gym fit, self assured people then they’ll know from that first line that they’re not a good match, similarly people who do like that will know straight away that they’re a match in that regard at least. So for that reason it can be necessary. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ojo2joWoman 41 weeks ago
Penclawdd |
"You're opening line on your bio would put most off I believe. Comes across as what I describe as Instagram swingers.
Sorry if that's harsh but it's the impression your bio and photos give (me).
Aren’t attractive people who go to the gym welcome in the swinging community then?
Absolutely, but if that's your opening line then it sets a tone of what you want and expect so you have to be messaging similar.
For example if they messaged a woman who was size 12/14 that womean is likely to feel judged and intimated, if the desire of the OP is gym fit. I have no issues with that but if they are hoping to attract a range of people, then that opening line is not going help their cause.
They describe themselves as gym fit, they don’t say they’re looking for gym fit.
It's an unnecessary statement.
Calling yourself attractive is a very self assured position. I don't find anything about them attractive, for example.
I agree that it’s self assured but there’s nothing wrong with being self assured, some people like to see self confidence in others and find that a very attractive trait so I’m guessing it wouldn’t put them off. If someone doesn’t like gym fit, self assured people then they’ll know from that first line that they’re not a good match, similarly people who do like that will know straight away that they’re a match in that regard at least. So for that reason it can be necessary. "
It’s less about the couple being gym fit and self assured but more about how it makes a lady who has been messaged feel about themselves.
If a curvy lady received a message they may be less likely to reply as it could make them feel self conscious.
The ‘why would they be interested in me’ scenario. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
|
Thank you everyone.
We’ve made a few mistakes being too keen and coming across as a bit needy or naive.
Slowly finding our feet… have probably burnt a few bridges unfortunately, by following up with questions, Instead of going with the flow.
Must admit it’s hard to know if someone is uninterested or just inundated sometimes but we are getting there.
Another thing we’ve noticed horny one nighters… messaging back and forth only to wake up and the profile has disappeared LOL ….
As one of you lovely lot has said…. It’s the FAB way.
Will be posting another question soon about clubs….we’re still being needy hahaha
Thanks for all of the replies, help and guidance xx have a lovely … no, have a FAB, weekend  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 32 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Thank you everyone.
We’ve made a few mistakes being too keen and coming across as a bit needy or naive.
Slowly finding our feet… have probably burnt a few bridges unfortunately, by following up with questions, Instead of going with the flow.
Must admit it’s hard to know if someone is uninterested or just inundated sometimes but we are getting there.
Another thing we’ve noticed horny one nighters… messaging back and forth only to wake up and the profile has disappeared LOL ….
As one of you lovely lot has said…. It’s the FAB way.
Will be posting another question soon about clubs….we’re still being needy hahaha
Thanks for all of the replies, help and guidance xx have a lovely … no, have a FAB, weekend "
Given your location I'd strongly recommend trying one of the organised group socials. There's a few in South Wales or across the bridge in Bristol, usually something going on every month.
Great for networking and also an opportunity to meet and get verified by other attendees in the area. A few social veris would reduce any cynicism about whether you're 'as described' in a profile and many put more faith in those than a few random play meet verifications.
You'll also tend to find people with a lot of club scene knowledge at them too, so a win/win for potentially meeting suitable future company and gaining knowledge about clubs and upcoming events. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
|
"Thank you everyone.
We’ve made a few mistakes being too keen and coming across as a bit needy or naive.
Slowly finding our feet… have probably burnt a few bridges unfortunately, by following up with questions, Instead of going with the flow.
Must admit it’s hard to know if someone is uninterested or just inundated sometimes but we are getting there.
Another thing we’ve noticed horny one nighters… messaging back and forth only to wake up and the profile has disappeared LOL ….
As one of you lovely lot has said…. It’s the FAB way.
Will be posting another question soon about clubs….we’re still being needy hahaha
Thanks for all of the replies, help and guidance xx have a lovely … no, have a FAB, weekend
Given your location I'd strongly recommend trying one of the organised group socials. There's a few in South Wales or across the bridge in Bristol, usually something going on every month.
Great for networking and also an opportunity to meet and get verified by other attendees in the area. A few social veris would reduce any cynicism about whether you're 'as described' in a profile and many put more faith in those than a few random play meet verifications.
You'll also tend to find people with a lot of club scene knowledge at them too, so a win/win for potentially meeting suitable future company and gaining knowledge about clubs and upcoming events. "
Thank you, really appreciate this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *heelerMan 32 weeks ago
Northants |
"Hoping someone can advise - we have sent quite a few messages to people who seem a great match. We are finding that the majority of these remain unread and we can’t even see if the person has viewed our profile. Totally understand that some people just may not be interested or receive so many messages that ours just get lost in a plethora of requests.
We have only just got verified. Is it just beginners luck (or lack of to be precise!) or is there any other reasonable explanation for our lack of interaction? "
Dont worry about if its meant to be then they will reply.Must admit i always reply even if deep down not interested but its being polite and a chats always good . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
