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Organizing Community Socials as a Woman
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So I moved to a new area about a year ago and now I’ve found my feet I’m keen to make friends in the local community.
I thought that maybe it would be fun to organize a local social for people to meet each other because there doesn’t seem to be one on the area.
Anyone got any tips for putting one together as a single woman? Frankly I’m worried about a load of blokes turning up who all think that sex is going to be on the cards just because a woman is organizing. |
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Scout some local venues, try to find one with an area away from the bar that can be used to host a group, not necessarily a separate room, just a separate area.
Think about parking and transport links too.
Put a post up with a date.
If you want to cut out the "timewasters" ask for people to have at least one veri.
As its your social, you can limit the number of single guys to stop it turning into a "sausage-fest".
Monitor the thread, and make a list.
Explain that the exact location will only be given out to those confirmed on the list, a couple of days before the date.
Turn up, have an "identifier" on your table, perhaps a birthday balloon or similar, so people know where you are, tick people off the list, socialise and enjoy.
After the social...keep a list of "no shows", so that you know for next time.
Some will have genuine reasons, some will not. nothing worse than getting to a point with socials where you may have to restrict numbers due to the size of the venue, only for some not to turn up so depriving others of the opportunity.
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Also, make sure you put in your initial post that it's a SOCIAL in a PUBLIC venue, NO PLAYING will be tolerated, it's surprising what some swingers think is acceptable behaviour once they've had a few drinks lol.
People can make arrangements to move on to other more suitable locations for fun if thats what they decide.  |
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I’m trying to start one in Daventry (it’s a very small market so I don’t expect it to be a massive one). I am following the same approach taken by other organisers. It’s list and the attendees are only told on the day where it is. I only accept verified people (but am happy to do a coffee with those without Veris and veri). Personally, if you ware inviting single men, keep the numbers limited and as the above poster has said make it clear it’s no play, don’t be thirsty and creepy event. Personally I’d keep the single male ratio to 1 in 4.
The first one will be the hardest and you’ll learn, make mistakes and it will improve. Good luck!! |
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As well as all the above great advice, perhaps think of using a coffee shop as a venue rather than a bar. Easier for people to chat together and no worries about dealing with anyone who might drink too much. |
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Some great advice above especially on keeping the venue private until just before. I've arrange one where have told some people privately before as they needed to book hotels. Also been to ones where people are told 1 or 2 days before and people were just it will be in the centre of a certain town.
Don't rely on Forum as such a small chunk of Fab use it so set up meet events and promote using your profile.
Opinions vary on making public the guest list - such as a running list of names on a Forum thread or even a chat group before. Personally I wouldn't as easy for a few poorly behaved people to contact others and mess things up beforehand (especially scaring off single ladies or couples). Also gives you more flexibility to juggle and manage the list as you see fit without people knowing all the details. I would just say upfront that plan is roughly 50/50 m/f or 60/40 or however you wish to limit it. Some ladies and couples will want more men. Some couples won't come if much more than 50/50. Tricky balancing act so do what works for you. The problem you will have is that so many men will say yes they will come and then they will drop out perhaps even on the day. Seen it so many times. Ladies and couples generally more reliable for socials.
Should add that all the above applies to man trying to arrange a social as well - except that they will find it much harder to get it off ground and get ladies and couples interested. Somebody tried to do in my area in the last week and it has already fizzled out.
Best of luck. Great that you are organising. The swinging world needs as many people as possible who proactively organise things and give back. Too many just take take take. |
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By *rpeggioCouple 45 weeks ago
Baughurst |
There is a trio of women that organise a well oiled, fun and amazing social in Hampshire every month. User-search for "Hampshires Most Wanted". They are amazing people so I am sure they won't mind to share Do's & Dont's with you.
Another one to get more tips and ideas are a lovely couple under profile name "Holy Fuck Sticks Batman". Also super social people that organise a regular social in Bedfordshire.
I have no direct experience with the organising, but my suggestion is to be cautious on your first social, to ensure it goes smoothly and you can manage the workload and attendance, and maybe consider to use your first social to recruit help from other women or couples with the admin/invites/vetting, etc.
All the best! |
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"As well as all the above great advice, perhaps think of using a coffee shop as a venue rather than a bar. Easier for people to chat together and no worries about dealing with anyone who might drink too much. "
This is interesting! Thank you! I’d love to hear more. Have you tried this? What was it like for atmosphere? |
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"So I moved to a new area about a year ago and now I’ve found my feet I’m keen to make friends in the local community.
I thought that maybe it would be fun to organize a local social for people to meet each other because there doesn’t seem to be one on the area.
Anyone got any tips for putting one together as a single woman? Frankly I’m worried about a load of blokes turning up who all think that sex is going to be on the cards just because a woman is organizing. "
There is a social just outside Tewkesbury every couple of months, so just down the M5 from you, might be worth going to to get some ideas |
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"As well as all the above great advice, perhaps think of using a coffee shop as a venue rather than a bar. Easier for people to chat together and no worries about dealing with anyone who might drink too much.
This is interesting! Thank you! I’d love to hear more. Have you tried this? What was it like for atmosphere?"
Yep have co-organised one and been to a few also. Relaxed atmosphere, plenty of opportunity to chat to everyone if you keep the numbers manageable, and no unrealistic expectations that it would be a sex fest 
Be sure your venue can cater for the numbers you have coming (reserve a few tables if need be) and if possible choose somewhere with easy parking either on-site or nearby |
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"So I moved to a new area about a year ago and now I’ve found my feet I’m keen to make friends in the local community.
I thought that maybe it would be fun to organize a local social for people to meet each other because there doesn’t seem to be one on the area.
Anyone got any tips for putting one together as a single woman? Frankly I’m worried about a load of blokes turning up who all think that sex is going to be on the cards just because a woman is organizing. "
Make sure the rules are stated in advance. Social only any touching or verbal harassment will not be tolerated. If its in a pub then tell the bouncers |
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It's still easier for a single woman, than a single man, whose motivation will be assumed to be just sex.
I go to a munch in Worcester most months (this month's was last night)
We sit in a quiet corner and have a chat on all sorts of subjects.
I'd be interested in coming to a Worcester social
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"So I moved to a new area about a year ago and now I’ve found my feet I’m keen to make friends in the local community.
I thought that maybe it would be fun to organize a local social for people to meet each other because there doesn’t seem to be one on the area.
Anyone got any tips for putting one together as a single woman? Frankly I’m worried about a load of blokes turning up who all think that sex is going to be on the cards just because a woman is organizing. "
Second the advice to chat with Hampshires Most Wanted - they’re lovely. Also talk to Lick and Bicker they used to do Leicestershire socials which were a hoot.
Re. Random guys turning up - just have a guest list and then reveal your meeting space only to those guests you want to be there. From experience it helps to arrange to have a separate area away from the general public… some bars will open up an upstairs or segregated area just for a group if they know 20 or 30 people will be spending… |
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