FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > As per, just looking for advice on profile!
As per, just looking for advice on profile!
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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Hello to all!
I'm yet another single, youngish guy who can't seem to find their feet here. It's like an exclusive club that's almost invite-only. I try hard with messages, but I have to be careful due to my job. This is the main reason I don't go to clubs.
I'd really appreciate any advice at all from other single men on here, or women/couples/anyone!
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Hello to all!
I'm yet another single, youngish guy who can't seem to find their feet here. It's like an exclusive club that's almost invite-only. I try hard with messages, but I have to be careful due to my job. This is the main reason I don't go to clubs.
I’m not sure why you’d be unable to attend clubs.
People from all walks of life and in all professions go.
I'd really appreciate any advice at all from other single men on here, or women/couples/anyone!
"
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"Unless you’re a government minister or a local councilor, nobody cares if you’re going to an club."
Maybe nobody cares if you go to a club ,but not everyone is interested in going to a club or organised large social. I don't think it's one Size fits all when it comes to how people prefer to meet others. |
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"Unless you’re a government minister or a local councilor, nobody cares if you’re going to an club.
Maybe nobody cares if you go to a club ,but not everyone is interested in going to a club or organised large social. I don't think it's one Size fits all when it comes to how people prefer to meet others. "
Yes but the OP specifically said he doesn’t go to clubs because of privacy. |
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By *JandJJCouple 45 weeks ago
Nuneaton |
"Hello to all!
I'm yet another single, youngish guy who can't seem to find their feet here. It's like an exclusive club that's almost invite-only. I try hard with messages, but I have to be careful due to my job. This is the main reason I don't go to clubs.
I'd really appreciate any advice at all from other single men on here, or women/couples/anyone!
"
As in life, not everyone is successful on here.
There is a massive choice of single guys looking for sex, and only the best will succeed.
The best can be looks, it can be presentation, it can be how you message.
But as in life, there are no guarantees.
Clubs are a good way forwards, but the choice is yours whether you go or not. |
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"Hello to all!
I'm yet another single, youngish guy who can't seem to find their feet here. It's like an exclusive club that's almost invite-only. I try hard with messages, but I have to be careful due to my job. This is the main reason I don't go to clubs.
I'd really appreciate any advice at all from other single men on here, or women/couples/anyone!
"
You've only been here for 6 weeks and that's a mere blink of an eye on Fab. Patience is required. Much patience. |
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"Hello to all!
I'm yet another single, youngish guy who can't seem to find their feet here. It's like an exclusive club that's almost invite-only. I try hard with messages, but I have to be careful due to my job. This is the main reason I don't go to clubs.
I'd really appreciate any advice at all from other single men on here, or women/couples/anyone!
"
I live fairly close to you. As you probably know there is no club anywhere near. Everywhere is probably 90 mins away by car apart from perhaps Monkey Business maybe one hour. So whatever your job I think the chances of you meeting anyone you know must be miniscule. Also struggling to imagine a job where this is an issue.
Of course you may find one one one singles or couples and plenty of those around but if the broader swinging world appeals give it a go somewhere. There is also a regular party in Southend every month - SexyShoeburyParties - which you might be able to wangle an invite too (some single men are allowed) and is a mix of social and play. There is also chatter of a pub social in Colchester this year and a thread on this. |
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"Unless you’re a government minister or a local councilor, nobody cares if you’re going to an club."
Ummm well it's Braintree so now you mention it perhaps our esteemed Home Secretary James Cleverly using fake pics  |
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I’ll probably echo few here saying you don’t need to be that worry about bumping into someone in a club because everyone is there for the same reason.
Apart from a club - put some effort into your pics buddy. That one pics doesn’t do you justice and it shows like you don’t want to put an effort. Add few teasing pics, few good quality dressed pics and be patient. |
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Like someone's said, you need to bare with it. There's women I've spoke to for years on here who live 20 mins away and we've still not met...
Sometimes it's more coincidence/convenience.
For instance last meet I had just happened to be when I was out of my home town on a night out and so was the lady and we got together and went back to our hotels |
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"Like someone's said, you need to bare with it. There's women I've spoke to for years on here who live 20 mins away and we've still not met...
Sometimes it's more coincidence/convenience.
For instance last meet I had just happened to be when I was out of my home town on a night out and so was the lady and we got together and went back to our hotels "
This is so true. Sometimes it is just right place right time and stars aligning. There is somebody here who lives relatively close who I chatted too for 6 years (!) on and off before meeting. On the other hand somebody 10 mins away I met after about an hour of saying hello and she was waiting naked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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Ha! I feel even I could try at being Home Secretary! Unfortunately I can't pretend I am because I'd only be a disappointment if I were to ever meet anyone here
I will definitely try harder with the pictures for sure. Thank you everyone for your advice. I will just see if I ever get an opportunity to become part of the community!
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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What do you have to offer that sets you apart from all the other single guys on here? I’m not trying to be harsh but I think it’s a little entitled to basically refer to Fab as an exclusive club that no one is being decent enough to invite you into. What about you means you should receive an invite vs the other hundreds of men some people get in their inbox who have made more effort with their profile/pics (appreciate you’ve said you’ll have a look at these) and can accommodate?
Again not trying to be harsh at all, I just have very little patience for these “what about me” threads every other day from men whose expectations seem to massively outweigh their level of effort. |
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Better pics mate - be stylish, tease, market yourself better in the bio. Sometimes I wonder if many of the blokes on here have even met a woman let alone understand and appreciate them.
Gym top-off in a changing room mirror is such a cliché. You’re fit but so are 2,000 other guys.. You have to do better than them and appeal to singles and couples. Remember they don’t want to waste their time organising a meet with a newbie to the scene, who doesn’t know how to handle themselves, so the dilemma… how do I not be a noob…
Socials, parties, clubs.
Re. Going to Clubs… unless you are a recognisable celebrity or are in a really sensitive role (and then would be a fucking idiot for even being on here or any social media tbh) you are not special. Barristers, Police, senior government- all life is here. The simple precaution people take is to play or go to clubs away from work/ home area - Teachers generally don’t like the awkward Parent encounters.. I’ve heard some very funny stories. Remember ‘they’ have as much to lose as you - mutually assured destruction.
Building your veris / naughty friend network by just messaging on here is nigh on impossible - grow some balls and go to a social or club - I promise you’ll have a blast and meet some amazing people.
And when I read guys posts, whining on having no ‘luck’… yeah, it’s not luck
Create your opportunities. |
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"Better pics mate - be stylish, tease, market yourself better in the bio. Sometimes I wonder if many of the blokes on here have even met a woman let alone understand and appreciate them.
Gym top-off in a changing room mirror is such a cliché. You’re fit but so are 2,000 other guys.. You have to do better than them and appeal to singles and couples. Remember they don’t want to waste their time organising a meet with a newbie to the scene, who doesn’t know how to handle themselves, so the dilemma… how do I not be a noob…
Socials, parties, clubs.
Re. Going to Clubs… unless you are a recognisable celebrity or are in a really sensitive role (and then would be a fucking idiot for even being on here or any social media tbh) you are not special. Barristers, Police, senior government- all life is here. The simple precaution people take is to play or go to clubs away from work/ home area - Teachers generally don’t like the awkward Parent encounters.. I’ve heard some very funny stories. Remember ‘they’ have as much to lose as you - mutually assured destruction.
Building your veris / naughty friend network by just messaging on here is nigh on impossible - grow some balls and go to a social or club - I promise you’ll have a blast and meet some amazing people.
And when I read guys posts, whining on having no ‘luck’… yeah, it’s not luck
Create your opportunities."
Not sure growing balls is anything to do with it. That is just macho language. Some people like such environments and some don’t - or at least are more cautious. It is perfectly possible to have lots of fun here without going to any event. Fab is full of people who link up on here and have a great time. Perfectly possible. Clubs, socials and parties make can make it easier of course but not the only way. |
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"Better pics mate - be stylish, tease, market yourself better in the bio. Sometimes I wonder if many of the blokes on here have even met a woman let alone understand and appreciate them.
Gym top-off in a changing room mirror is such a cliché. You’re fit but so are 2,000 other guys.. You have to do better than them and appeal to singles and couples. Remember they don’t want to waste their time organising a meet with a newbie to the scene, who doesn’t know how to handle themselves, so the dilemma… how do I not be a noob…
Socials, parties, clubs.
Re. Going to Clubs… unless you are a recognisable celebrity or are in a really sensitive role (and then would be a fucking idiot for even being on here or any social media tbh) you are not special. Barristers, Police, senior government- all life is here. The simple precaution people take is to play or go to clubs away from work/ home area - Teachers generally don’t like the awkward Parent encounters.. I’ve heard some very funny stories. Remember ‘they’ have as much to lose as you - mutually assured destruction.
Building your veris / naughty friend network by just messaging on here is nigh on impossible - grow some balls and go to a social or club - I promise you’ll have a blast and meet some amazing people.
And when I read guys posts, whining on having no ‘luck’… yeah, it’s not luck
Create your opportunities.
Not sure growing balls is anything to do with it. That is just macho language. Some people like such environments and some don’t - or at least are more cautious. It is perfectly possible to have lots of fun here without going to any event. Fab is full of people who link up on here and have a great time. Perfectly possible. Clubs, socials and parties make can make it easier of course but not the only way. "
Possible but unlikely. Many single guys spend years sending fruitless messages.
If you are too socially awkward or not confident enough to attend a social then it doesn’t really bode well for meeting say a couple, who are complete strangers and then fucking his wife in front of him. Timid and shy are not the character traits that suited to the single male role in the lifestyle. There’s not many women that want to have to take the lead. There are exceptions but incredibly rare.
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"Better pics mate - be stylish, tease, market yourself better in the bio. Sometimes I wonder if many of the blokes on here have even met a woman let alone understand and appreciate them.
Gym top-off in a changing room mirror is such a cliché. You’re fit but so are 2,000 other guys.. You have to do better than them and appeal to singles and couples. Remember they don’t want to waste their time organising a meet with a newbie to the scene, who doesn’t know how to handle themselves, so the dilemma… how do I not be a noob…
Socials, parties, clubs.
Re. Going to Clubs… unless you are a recognisable celebrity or are in a really sensitive role (and then would be a fucking idiot for even being on here or any social media tbh) you are not special. Barristers, Police, senior government- all life is here. The simple precaution people take is to play or go to clubs away from work/ home area - Teachers generally don’t like the awkward Parent encounters.. I’ve heard some very funny stories. Remember ‘they’ have as much to lose as you - mutually assured destruction.
Building your veris / naughty friend network by just messaging on here is nigh on impossible - grow some balls and go to a social or club - I promise you’ll have a blast and meet some amazing people.
And when I read guys posts, whining on having no ‘luck’… yeah, it’s not luck
Create your opportunities.
Not sure growing balls is anything to do with it. That is just macho language. Some people like such environments and some don’t - or at least are more cautious. It is perfectly possible to have lots of fun here without going to any event. Fab is full of people who link up on here and have a great time. Perfectly possible. Clubs, socials and parties make can make it easier of course but not the only way.
Possible but unlikely. Many single guys spend years sending fruitless messages.
If you are too socially awkward or not confident enough to attend a social then it doesn’t really bode well for meeting say a couple, who are complete strangers and then fucking his wife in front of him. Timid and shy are not the character traits that suited to the single male role in the lifestyle. There’s not many women that want to have to take the lead. There are exceptions but incredibly rare.
"
I think people who frequent çlubs and parties a lot often see it like that but meanwhile large numbers of people are having lots of fun without ever going. I checked people with veris in my area last year and around 80% were clearly nothing to do with clubs. Also logistically lots of people live some distance from clubs and socials and find it hard due to time, cost and logistics. More than one way to skin a cat and no need to be so dismissive of those who do it differently to you. And I say that as somebody who has had a foot in both camps. |
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