FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Couples And Single Women , Would You Meet Someone Who Isn't Meet Verified
Couples And Single Women , Would You Meet Someone Who Isn't Meet Verified
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"It's a valid question and one that we, as a "unverified" couple, do face challenges on when trying to chat to others. Some people really do get high and mighty over having a green tick being the be all and end all. But as you say, we were all new and unverified once. For us, these people who get moany about unverified or state "verified only" on their profiles we give a miss to. There's plenty of decent people on here to make a connection with. We've got two or three irons in fires where we've chatted to OPs for a few weeks and they couldn't really give two hoots about a tick or not." Only wanting to meet verified people doesn't make someone not decent. That's an extrapolation you've made. And that's ok. Just as is someone's decision to only meet verified people. | |||
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"I was reading a few threads on the forum last night about meets and it got me thinking . When you first joined Fab ,you were unverified, and had zero meets . Everyone starts life on here unverified, so we all start from an equal footing. So taking that into consideration, when you had no meet verifications, and were hoping someone would give you a chance , do you offer the same opportunity yourselves to people without any verifications ,or do you forget that you once had zero meet verifications, and will only meet verified people only .? This is for couples and single women . " Not a chance! | |||
"It's a valid question and one that we, as a "unverified" couple, do face challenges on when trying to chat to others. Some people really do get high and mighty over having a green tick being the be all and end all. But as you say, we were all new and unverified once. For us, these people who get moany about unverified or state "verified only" on their profiles we give a miss to. There's plenty of decent people on here to make a connection with. We've got two or three irons in fires where we've chatted to OPs for a few weeks and they couldn't really give two hoots about a tick or not." Sometimes, it's easier to say "you're not verified/too short/too tall/too thin/too fat/too close/too far/too young/too old (etc, hope you get my gist) so we're not interested in meeting you" than explain the real reason behind not wanting to meet. | |||
"I would have met someone who's unverified for a coffee and have previously offered. In every single case they've bottled it. I don't have time for that. " Here's speaks truth. Via my couples profile we have met quite a few unverified people and been their "first" veri but also many times it's gone nowhere. Now we are unlucky to as time is precious and we would rather focus our valuable swinging time on people we think are more likely to meet (and actually play). Actually I think these days we would be more like to give leeway to a single man with no veris than a couple or lady. Obviously it's harder for a man whereas a couple or lady here a long time with no veris makes us wary that nothing will happen (I know not all and everyone starts somewhere etc.) as they would have had options. Also if we meet to play with a man, in the worst case of him bottling it going to be really easy to find somebody else quickly  Not so easy to find a lady or couple short notice.
The one thing are clear on is that if arrange a little gathering absolutely everybody has to have a few decent veris. | |||
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"Yes. The person who first met me (we're still friends, and I've asked) did so under the following circumstances. 1. It wasn't far to come, 2. It was a neutral middle ground with no pressure 3. Every part of my profile and interactions was appealling to him, and indicated that I wasn't fake 4. I was *very* interesting to him 5. If it turned out I was an excellent wind up merchant, he liked the pub in question and could have a nice beer then go home If an unverified by meet man met all of those points and we could find a place that was similarly low stakes... sure. Why not." I'll add - 3 and 4 are where most people, verified or not, fall down. (Less the fake bit if you're a guy. But the interesting and appealling bit) | |||
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"We will gladly arrange to say hello to someone unverified in a club and have done. We wouldn't send face pics, we're quite recognisable though." Yeah, far and away the lowest bar to getting your first verification by meet is showing up to a club and behaving like a decent human being. It's not the only way, but it doesn't require any vetting at all. Socials have a lower bar than private but higher than rocking up to (most) clubs. It's why they're so often suggested for unverified people - it'll get you the verification, even if clubs and socials don't interest you. | |||
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"Sometimes people will use the fact you’re not verified as an easy excuse to not to meet you. I think it’s something to keep in mind." Definitely true. The verification helps, but it's not the be all and end all. | |||
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"No, unless we arranged to meet at a social or a club. That tends to out those who aren’t who they say they are who very quickly go silent after you suggest that. " __ Lol, silent or they say... "Let us check our diary and see if we can meet you on any of the dates you propose" and then no response after 3 weeks. Do they keep their diary overseas? Is it encrypted and they have to send it to GCHQ for decryption? | |||
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"We will gladly arrange to say hello to someone unverified in a club and have done. We wouldn't send face pics, we're quite recognisable though." yeah | |||
"So taking that into consideration, when you had no meet verifications, and were hoping someone would give you a chance , do you offer the same opportunity yourselves to people without any verifications ,or do you forget that you once had zero meet verifications, and will only meet verified people only .?" We will meet with unverified people if we have a mutual attraction. In fact over half our meets have been unverified. Sometimes verifications can be a double edged sword. We have found ourselves being messaged and told we are exactly what the person is looking for, only to check his half a dozen verifications from people that are no where near us in terms of body size/shape. Or on another occassion there was a chap spouting on about the virtues of safe sex and three of his verifications specifically mentioned bareback play! For the record, our first verification came from attending a social. We got off our backsides and did something to meet people in the flesh, and didn't sit around 'hoping someone would give us a chance'. | |||
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"Sone very different opinions so far .Been an interesting read so far . What stood out for me were the people who said they would never meet anyone who hasn't got any meet veris .I just wonder if their view would be different if everyone held that same view when they themselves were unverified? " People make their own choices. We (and I when I was on here as a single guy) realised that having some veris would support the fact that I was genuine and made an effort to go out and meet people and actually turn up. A group social and a club visit and I had half a dozen veris that said I was polite, well presented and easy to talk to which then led to my first play meets It wasn't difficult because I put the effort in. | |||
"So taking that into consideration, when you had no meet verifications, and were hoping someone would give you a chance , do you offer the same opportunity yourselves to people without any verifications ,or do you forget that you once had zero meet verifications, and will only meet verified people only .? We will meet with unverified people if we have a mutual attraction. In fact over half our meets have been unverified. Sometimes verifications can be a double edged sword. We have found ourselves being messaged and told we are exactly what the person is looking for, only to check his half a dozen verifications from people that are no where near us in terms of body size/shape. Or on another occassion there was a chap spouting on about the virtues of safe sex and three of his verifications specifically mentioned bareback play! For the record, our first verification came from attending a social. We got off our backsides and did something to meet people in the flesh, and didn't sit around 'hoping someone would give us a chance'. " | |||
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"Sone very different opinions so far .Been an interesting read so far . What stood out for me were the people who said they would never meet anyone who hasn't got any meet veris .I just wonder if their view would be different if everyone held that same view when they themselves were unverified? " A lot of those profiles (not all) will have got their first verification from going to a club or a social event. | |||
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"Sone very different opinions so far .Been an interesting read so far . What stood out for me were the people who said they would never meet anyone who hasn't got any meet veris .I just wonder if their view would be different if everyone held that same view when they themselves were unverified? " __ Interesting indeed. The majority says yes, they have met or would meet unverified profiles. One common theme is "yes we would, but with conditions attached". The main concern is the higher risk of no shows, therefore people who do not mind to meet unverified often say they'd do it but only in ways or at places that mitigate the impact of a no show (clubs, socials, parties, or meeting early evening). | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year." __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year." That's fair enough ,but why would it raise red flag after a year or so . ? Maybe people have spent that time trying to connect with others ,but have had no luck . | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual." I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year." This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple."Maybe some people, including myself , HAVE been trying to meet ,trying to connect with people in the local area in the two years ive been on here ,to try and meet up socially for a coffee or a pint . Just because we havnt managed that , didn't mean we are just here for a wank .I'm not interested in the pics and videos on here . | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple.
Maybe some people, including myself , HAVE been trying to meet ,trying to connect with people in the local area in the two years ive been on here ,to try and meet up socially for a coffee or a pint . Just because we havnt managed that , didn't mean we are just here for a wank .I'm not interested in the pics and videos on here . "I didn't say you are. But these are the sorts of things that go through people's heads. Is FAB the right platform for you? There are lots of sites that are specifically for 1-2-1 meets. They don't involve any kind of verification process aside from some sort of sign up/phot ID which you've already done here. Obviously the site is open to all, but if you're not happy with the results, something's got to change for it to be Bette for you. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple."Indeed - a lack of flexibility to put yourself out there is a red flag to me. The tough reality - and I speak not as a "unicorn" (god I hate that term) but as a person with autism - is that the swinging world is how it is and it's unlikely to budge because you say it isn't fair. You're right. It's not fair. Unfortunately the offerings on the menu are "take it" or "leave it". | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple.
Indeed - a lack of flexibility to put yourself out there is a red flag to me.
The tough reality - and I speak not as a "unicorn" (god I hate that term) but as a person with autism - is that the swinging world is how it is and it's unlikely to budge because you say it isn't fair. You're right. It's not fair. Unfortunately the offerings on the menu are "take it" or "leave it"."That's the crux isn't it! It is what it is. For some it's easier and others harder. It changes over time and there's points where luck plays a part. But like all things, if it's not working for you, change how you play, or change the game to one that does. | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. This
It's not always about the content of the veri. Being on here for so long without meeting anyone raises questions about either the person's flexibility, honesty or ability to connect with others. There's a voice in the back of my head saying 'why haven't they been able to meet anyone, even socially for a year when there are apparently hundreds of people using the site in the same area?'
There are lots of reasons of course, but the main ones are there's something wrong with them, they're not genuine, or they're just here for a wank.
Bearing in mind I've been on both sides of the fence and know what it's like as both a SM and as part of a couple.
Maybe some people, including myself , HAVE been trying to meet ,trying to connect with people in the local area in the two years ive been on here ,to try and meet up socially for a coffee or a pint . Just because we havnt managed that , didn't mean we are just here for a wank .I'm not interested in the pics and videos on here . "That's interesting you say that honestly because the main point it seems, via the comments, are that it's a red flag in the sense of how much effort someone is willing to put in. Do you show effort? Do you take advice on board? You've been overly vocal about not wanting to do parties, socials or clubs after already making your mind up about them, that they're not for you, without attending any. You've also admitted before now that you stopped messaging people long ago. So one has to wonder really, why are you trying to flog a dead horse? Genuine question because I really don't understand why you'd continue to use fab when you're not willing to participate, get off your arse and be social in a social lifestyle, change your uneducated views on other approaches etc. I'm not saying everyone should go to a club etc but you're also just doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results and then complaining and coming across as an incel when it doesn't work out. Why keep asking for advice if you're going to either not take it or argue in a way that screams "poor me"? | |||
I did go out of my way at a social recently to chat to single guys then verify their accounts. Because I know the genuine ones have it tough because of the A**holes and at the end of the day we are all here to fufill a need that isn't getting fulfilled elsewhere. | |||
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"Dave, I think you actually have cracked the system. You are actually a very clever guy. After starting so many threads, I think you truly don't need any verifications. Everyone here knows you. You are now a household name in Fab. Maybe that's your way to stand out? Make the most of it. "
Well a household name on Forum at least. Most of Fab will be clueless.
It is actually true though Dave I reckon you could leverage Forum fame (infamy?) into some meets. Well only if you were prepared to travel a bit. Message me your password and I'll send out a few messages and get things going for you | |||
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"Being unverified would not stop us engaging with someone we clicked with. In fact I quite enjoy corrupting newbies
C" | |||
"Dave, I think you actually have cracked the system. You are actually a very clever guy. After starting so many threads, I think you truly don't need any verifications. Everyone here knows you. You are now a household name in Fab. Maybe that's your way to stand out? Make the most of it. "That genuinely brightened up my freezing start to the day . | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year " It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. " It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. " So at the risk of playing disability top trumps... I'm autistic, have anxiety (both diagnosed and long lasting), struggle with strangers and crowds, and my sensory sensitivity is sound (pubs on a Friday night are unbearable, party nights at clubs are difficult). I'm not saying it's easy... but it is possible. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. So at the risk of playing disability top trumps... I'm autistic, have anxiety (both diagnosed and long lasting), struggle with strangers and crowds, and my sensory sensitivity is sound (pubs on a Friday night are unbearable, party nights at clubs are difficult). I'm not saying it's easy... but it is possible." Yes anything is possible but do think things are easier for ladies. People much more likely to come and talk to ladies - not to underestimate your own challenges and success overcoming them. A man in his 50s, bald with a dad bod, average or below average looks, who is shy and has all kinds of anxieties could go to a social event or club and stand their alone all night long. Ive seen it at group socials (and tried to help). Somebody may go over and say hello but not necessarily. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. So at the risk of playing disability top trumps... I'm autistic, have anxiety (both diagnosed and long lasting), struggle with strangers and crowds, and my sensory sensitivity is sound (pubs on a Friday night are unbearable, party nights at clubs are difficult). I'm not saying it's easy... but it is possible. Yes anything is possible but do think things are easier for ladies. People much more likely to come and talk to ladies - not to underestimate your own challenges and success overcoming them. A man in his 50s, bald with a dad bod, average or below average looks, who is shy and has all kinds of anxieties could go to a social event or club and stand their alone all night long. Ive seen it at group socials (and tried to help). Somebody may go over and say hello but not necessarily. " You do underestimate my challenges, very much. I find being approached like that, in a situation like that, upsetting, an escalation of the perceived threat. And I stayed regardless. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but reframe as "I deliberately went into a situation that would heighten my anxiety, and the only way to stop that anxiety is to leave. But I should feel better, because people come up to me and do something that will make my anxiety worse. I have it much easier than a man" Being proactive is a different skill to being approached, I'll grant, but please don't condescend me that because you would like to be approached, that that would be easier for me. It's not. (Also, I've been proactive as well. I'm the kind of person at a group social who finds the people others aren't talking to, because I know what it's like to be excluded ) | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. So at the risk of playing disability top trumps... I'm autistic, have anxiety (both diagnosed and long lasting), struggle with strangers and crowds, and my sensory sensitivity is sound (pubs on a Friday night are unbearable, party nights at clubs are difficult). I'm not saying it's easy... but it is possible. Yes anything is possible but do think things are easier for ladies. People much more likely to come and talk to ladies - not to underestimate your own challenges and success overcoming them. A man in his 50s, bald with a dad bod, average or below average looks, who is shy and has all kinds of anxieties could go to a social event or club and stand their alone all night long. Ive seen it at group socials (and tried to help). Somebody may go over and say hello but not necessarily. You do underestimate my challenges, very much. I find being approached like that, in a situation like that, upsetting, an escalation of the perceived threat. And I stayed regardless. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but reframe as "I deliberately went into a situation that would heighten my anxiety, and the only way to stop that anxiety is to leave. But I should feel better, because people come up to me and do something that will make my anxiety worse. I have it much easier than a man" Being proactive is a different skill to being approached, I'll grant, but please don't condescend me that because you would like to be approached, that that would be easier for me. It's not. (Also, I've been proactive as well. I'm the kind of person at a group social who finds the people others aren't talking to, because I know what it's like to be excluded )"Jeez I didn't say it is easier for you personally than a man. Of course I don't know you situation and appreciate you have overcome challenges and I am not being condascending. I was saying in general it is easier for lady with social difficulties to overcome in that situation than a man and I stand by that. You may think I don't understand your situation (and of course I don't fully) but don't think you understand the situation of the typical man I describe either. Anyway I wish you well - I don't want a fight. I was just pointing out telling somebody to just make an effort is a bit of simplistic way of looking at things in many cases. | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. " I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. | |||
"Dave, I think you actually have cracked the system. You are actually a very clever guy. After starting so many threads, I think you truly don't need any verifications. Everyone here knows you. You are now a household name in Fab. Maybe that's your way to stand out? Make the most of it." What would happen if he ever gets a meet? The forums would seem very quiet all of a sudden. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. " Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. " The OP is complaining about two years of trying to get one on one meets and it not working, still no verifications. He could go to a social this weekend and have ten verifications, possibly even a club tonight and get at least one. No, he doesn't have to do any of that. But surely it's better than continuing to do something that hasn't worked for literally years? Even just as a check box exercise? No one is holding a gun at his head and telling him he has to go to a group social or a club. But many people have said a) it will get you a verification, which you seem to want, b) it's way easier to do it this way, and c) people with significant social impairments have managed to do it because they wanted it badly enough. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. " Fab can work for everyone, there's so many opportunities to make contact. Very inclusive. | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. The OP is complaining about two years of trying to get one on one meets and it not working, still no verifications. He could go to a social this weekend and have ten verifications, possibly even a club tonight and get at least one. No, he doesn't have to do any of that. But surely it's better than continuing to do something that hasn't worked for literally years? Even just as a check box exercise? No one is holding a gun at his head and telling him he has to go to a group social or a club. But many people have said a) it will get you a verification, which you seem to want, b) it's way easier to do it this way, and c) people with significant social impairments have managed to do it because they wanted it badly enough." Yes but he has said repeatedly he doesn't want to and sounds like round peg in a square hole. It's not case of effort or wanting it. As for veris, he might get a verification but he might not as well. He might go, feel incredibly awkward, struggle to talk to anyone, be ignored and then slide away after an hour feeling very depressed and have any remaining confidence crushed out of him. Seen it happen with people and never to be seen on Fab again. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. The OP is complaining about two years of trying to get one on one meets and it not working, still no verifications. He could go to a social this weekend and have ten verifications, possibly even a club tonight and get at least one. No, he doesn't have to do any of that. But surely it's better than continuing to do something that hasn't worked for literally years? Even just as a check box exercise? No one is holding a gun at his head and telling him he has to go to a group social or a club. But many people have said a) it will get you a verification, which you seem to want, b) it's way easier to do it this way, and c) people with significant social impairments have managed to do it because they wanted it badly enough. Yes but he has said repeatedly he doesn't want to and sounds like round peg in a square hole. It's not case of effort or wanting it. As for veris, he might get a verification but he might not as well. He might go, feel incredibly awkward, struggle to talk to anyone, be ignored and then slide away after an hour feeling very depressed and have any remaining confidence crushed out of him. Seen it happen with people and never to be seen on Fab again. " I've been to several clubs (not for years) and all of them, the host or owner will verify you if you ask, as long as you behave better than "need to be asked to leave". I've only been to one big social, but that was my experience there as well - the hosts will verify you if you ask. My guess is after years, he's tried all the profile tips and message tips and all of that. What else is there to say or do? We all know Fab isn't the kindest place for single guys, and it's unlikely that people will offer him a charity veri (dear god I hope that's not a thing). If what you're doing isn't working, try something else. Surely. | |||
"I was reading a few threads on the forum last night about meets and it got me thinking . When you first joined Fab ,you were unverified, and had zero meets . Everyone starts life on here unverified, so we all start from an equal footing. So taking that into consideration, when you had no meet verifications, and were hoping someone would give you a chance , do you offer the same opportunity yourselves to people without any verifications ,or do you forget that you once had zero meet verifications, and will only meet verified people only .? This is for couples and single women . " Yes, we do. | |||
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"Having followed Dave’s endeavours over many, many threads a thought just occurred……what happens if and when the elusive verification happens? Are you content then because the goal has finally been achieved or does the slog then recommence to obtain a 2nd? Whilst I accept it makes things easier if a profile is verified, it is not the golden ticket to meet heaven that most believe it to be. " | |||
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"Having followed Dave’s endeavours over many, many threads a thought just occurred……what happens if and when the elusive verification happens? Are you content then because the goal has finally been achieved or does the slog then recommence to obtain a 2nd? Whilst I accept it makes things easier if a profile is verified, it is not the golden ticket to meet heaven that most believe it to be. " I wasn't even considering that far ahead, I was just wondering how long we will wait for Daves next post. Think this is his second whining so far this year so he's on a roll currently. We won't get answers though. He cherry picks what he'll answer while dismissing the glaringly obvious parts. It does remind me of the memes though, some men will do anything except seek therapy. Seems very apt for these posts, they're almost like they could be self harm, self degradation, attention seeking etc (pick whichever you think applies). So much effort wasted on these instead of just being proactive for change. | |||
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"I have been the unverified person twice (different profiles)... So glad people took a risk on me" We're all unverified at some point. I'm very grateful to the people who gave me a chance. | |||
"I have been the unverified person twice (different profiles)... So glad people took a risk on me" Ditto (only once). Which is why I'd do it under the same conditions that that person did it for me. | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. " Finding people who are also after one on one social meets or small socials is even harder. It's like trying to find Hens Teeth. | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. So at the risk of playing disability top trumps... I'm autistic, have anxiety (both diagnosed and long lasting), struggle with strangers and crowds, and my sensory sensitivity is sound (pubs on a Friday night are unbearable, party nights at clubs are difficult). I'm not saying it's easy... but it is possible. Yes anything is possible but do think things are easier for ladies. People much more likely to come and talk to ladies - not to underestimate your own challenges and success overcoming them. A man in his 50s, bald with a dad bod, average or below average looks, who is shy and has all kinds of anxieties could go to a social event or club and stand their alone all night long. Ive seen it at group socials (and tried to help). Somebody may go over and say hello but not necessarily. " "man in his 50s, bald with a dad bod, average or below average looks" You have been looking at my photos havnt you . | |||
"Dave, I think you actually have cracked the system. You are actually a very clever guy. After starting so many threads, I think you truly don't need any verifications. Everyone here knows you. You are now a household name in Fab. Maybe that's your way to stand out? Make the most of it. What would happen if he ever gets a meet? The forums would seem very quiet all of a sudden." Probably more chance of seeing Lord Lucan riding Shergar than me ever getting a meet mate .  | |||
"Having followed Dave’s endeavours over many, many threads a thought just occurred……what happens if and when the elusive verification happens? Are you content then because the goal has finally been achieved or does the slog then recommence to obtain a 2nd? Whilst I accept it makes things easier if a profile is verified, it is not the golden ticket to meet heaven that most believe it to be. I wasn't even considering that far ahead, I was just wondering how long we will wait for Daves next post. Think this is his second whining so far this year so he's on a roll currently. We won't get answers though. He cherry picks what he'll answer while dismissing the glaringly obvious parts. It does remind me of the memes though, some men will do anything except seek therapy. Seems very apt for these posts, they're almost like they could be self harm, self degradation, attention seeking etc (pick whichever you think applies). So much effort wasted on these instead of just being proactive for change. " I always reply to posts ,unless I miss one whilst scrolling through the thread (which can happen,especially in long threads) . | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. I suffer from stress and depression, one of the (many) unwanted associations with those are suffering panic attacks. It's not easy to get out, far from it. But it has to be done. Well it doesn't have to be done. Fab can work very well without doing any of the club/party/social scene. I did for years quite successfully although now I enjoy that side of things too. The OP is complaining about two years of trying to get one on one meets and it not working, still no verifications. He could go to a social this weekend and have ten verifications, possibly even a club tonight and get at least one. No, he doesn't have to do any of that. But surely it's better than continuing to do something that hasn't worked for literally years? Even just as a check box exercise? No one is holding a gun at his head and telling him he has to go to a group social or a club. But many people have said a) it will get you a verification, which you seem to want, b) it's way easier to do it this way, and c) people with significant social impairments have managed to do it because they wanted it badly enough. Yes but he has said repeatedly he doesn't want to and sounds like round peg in a square hole. It's not case of effort or wanting it. As for veris, he might get a verification but he might not as well. He might go, feel incredibly awkward, struggle to talk to anyone, be ignored and then slide away after an hour feeling very depressed and have any remaining confidence crushed out of him. Seen it happen with people and never to be seen on Fab again. " Everyone is different ,and everyone is happier ,or more comfortable , or able to show their personality in different settings . Some will be happier in a large group , and some are more at ease in a smaller gathering . Im definitely in the latter group. Having a meal ,or a drink with a couple of others ,I'm extrovert and relaxed, and I feel my personality shows thtmrough ,but in a setting like a club or large organised social , I would feel totally different ,and would stay in my shell. I always read your posts with interest ,as you obviously see it from both sides of the fence due to your previous experience both as a single bloke and as part of a couple. There obviously isn't a one size fits all solution . | |||
"There obviously isn't a one size fits all solution . " True, but you haven't come up with any other solution, and neither has anyone else. Maybe there just isn't a solution that works for you. I keep hoping that if I get the right advice I'll finally win that Olympic 100m gold medal. But maybe it's just not meant to be? | |||
"There obviously isn't a one size fits all solution . True, but you haven't come up with any other solution, and neither has anyone else. Maybe there just isn't a solution that works for you. I keep hoping that if I get the right advice I'll finally win that Olympic 100m gold medal. But maybe it's just not meant to be? " To the OP - is there anything you do like about the website? You don't like the advice people have provided and I feel you acknowledge the posts you make may deter other forum users from meeting with you. You're not reaching out to people who fit your demographic directly either. Appreciate a club or organised social may not be for you but swinging is considered a social scene. Do you feel other websites specifically for hooking up not swinging may suit you better? | |||
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"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year It's not hard for single men to get a meet verification. In fact, it's a piece of piss. My own experience, decided I was going to join. Spent a bit of time reading the forums and getting a feel of the place. (You can read the forums without joining) Put some effort into writing a biog and choosing a few pics. Joined. Spoke to a few people about socials, got an invite, rocked up and 3 days after joining had a rake of verifications. I've never asked for advice, but I read plenty. My interactions and posts on the forums are (I hope) positive, not whiney, not woe is me. I'm not gym fit, no 6 pack, follically challenged, average dick, a face only a mother could love and grandpa age. And yet, here I am, having a ball. Pretty much all of my meets have come via the forums, socials and clubs. How? Simple, I did my homework and put some effort in and continue to put some effort in. It obviously works for you but you make it sound so easy. Not everyone is as confident and socially comfortable jumping into a big social group, never mind one of swingers where the underlying ultimate aim is sex, at an organised social or club. Effort does matter but it's not just effort. You can't tell somebody who is shy or get social anxiety in groups or just is not great in that environment to just put more effort in. It's like telling somebody depressed to just cheer up. Saying that big group events aside, the one on one and smaller group world is full of opportunities as well but still got to have good social and communication skills. I think for some people it will just never work out. Finding people who are also after one on one social meets or small socials is even harder. It's like trying to find Hens Teeth." If you can't find a group social that you're comfortable with, start your own. You "control" the numbers, mix and venue. Invite a few people who are verified, plus people looking for their first verification and you're off and running. | |||
"There obviously isn't a one size fits all solution . True, but you haven't come up with any other solution, and neither has anyone else. Maybe there just isn't a solution that works for you. I keep hoping that if I get the right advice I'll finally win that Olympic 100m gold medal. But maybe it's just not meant to be? To the OP - is there anything you do like about the website? You don't like the advice people have provided and I feel you acknowledge the posts you make may deter other forum users from meeting with you. You're not reaching out to people who fit your demographic directly either. Appreciate a club or organised social may not be for you but swinging is considered a social scene. Do you feel other websites specifically for hooking up not swinging may suit you better? " There is a lot I like about the site. I love reading the forums ,all sections of it . I appreciate the advice people have given ,even if the ' club and organised socials "advice isn't for me. In this thread alone, there has been been some posts from people who have had success with meeting people on a one to one basis ,so I continue to live in hope ,and in the meantime keep enjoying the forums. | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. " Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . | |||
"Would depend how long they had been a member for. Alarm bells would ring if they had no verifications and had been a member for over a year. __ For a couple or a woman, yes, it's unusual and it's an "approach with caution". For a man, not so unusual. I fully agree. As a single bloke ,on here for almost two years ,still with no meets (social or play) ,it's so hard for single blokes to get meet verified. Yes ,some single blokes will get loads of meet veris ,but many ,many more of us will be on here for years and still have none. I think it would be much easier for a couple or single woman to get meet veris before they have been on here for a year " It is easy for guys to get meet verifications if they are willing to put the effort in. Fab has social events happening through out all of the UK, they just have to be willing to attend one. | |||
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"There obviously isn't a one size fits all solution . True, but you haven't come up with any other solution, and neither has anyone else. Maybe there just isn't a solution that works for you. I keep hoping that if I get the right advice I'll finally win that Olympic 100m gold medal. But maybe it's just not meant to be? To the OP - is there anything you do like about the website? You don't like the advice people have provided and I feel you acknowledge the posts you make may deter other forum users from meeting with you. You're not reaching out to people who fit your demographic directly either. Appreciate a club or organised social may not be for you but swinging is considered a social scene. Do you feel other websites specifically for hooking up not swinging may suit you better? There is a lot I like about the site. I love reading the forums ,all sections of it . I appreciate the advice people have given ,even if the ' club and organised socials "advice isn't for me. In this thread alone, there has been been some posts from people who have had success with meeting people on a one to one basis ,so I continue to live in hope ,and in the meantime keep enjoying the forums. " I've never been to a group social and haven't attended a club yet. I'd like to go to one with someone I've built a bond yet. I've only met one to one and met numerous people without a verification and happily given them their first. My veris are a variety of social only and meets for play. I do take on board my experience on here may vary from a single males pov. I do know the people I have met, the majority have gone in to meet others/still use the website. Some do leave or re-join later. | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure" That's a brilliant initiative and great advice! So great to see something other than go to organised club or social advice. Sometimes you'd think that all there is to this place from reading Forum. | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure" This could also develop into very small groups socials that new people (including Dave) could be comfortable with. Perhaps say 6 people for a quick coffee rather than the full on big organised social. Might think about this for my area to help a few people out. | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure That's a brilliant initiative and great advice! So great to see something other than go to organised club or social advice. Sometimes you'd think that all there is to this place from reading Forum. " We don't have the club option in Ireland, North or South, so perhaps there is a higher incidence of one to one meets here. The social scene is thriving though. As someone else mentioned above, a group social doesn't have to be a large gathering. In my early days, I co-organised with another Ireland forum user, a small group getting together for coffee. We were twelve in total and it was a great opportunity to get to know people I might not ordinarily have crossed paths with. Again it's another idea which is proactive and might work for Dave | |||
" I've never been to a group social and haven't attended a club yet. I'd like to go to one with someone I've built a bond yet. I've only met one to one and met numerous people without a verification and happily given them their first. My veris are a variety of social only and meets for play. I do take on board my experience on here may vary from a single males pov. I do know the people I have met, the majority have gone in to meet others/still use the website. Some do leave or re-join later. " You are a very attractive woman and sometimes just taking the plunge is better than messages alone. Go to Chameleons, sign up and spend the night in the bar area chatting to people. Even without offers of play you may get to meet and know more people in one night than a month of trawling through dreamers and fantasists. We will be in Chams on Feb 3rd, we would love to meet, chat and maybe more. | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure That's a brilliant initiative and great advice! So great to see something other than go to organised club or social advice. Sometimes you'd think that all there is to this place from reading Forum. We don't have the club option in Ireland, North or South, so perhaps there is a higher incidence of one to one meets here. The social scene is thriving though. As someone else mentioned above, a group social doesn't have to be a large gathering. In my early days, I co-organised with another Ireland forum user, a small group getting together for coffee. We were twelve in total and it was a great opportunity to get to know people I might not ordinarily have crossed paths with. Again it's another idea which is proactive and might work for Dave" Yes that makes sense regarding Ireland and clubs. Out of interest though isn't there DV8 in Dublin? I've only noticed as there is a place with the same name in Kent that I go to sometimes. It is a myth that everybody is England is well-served by clubs. Some are very lucky with many close but lots not. I'm not too far out of London but at least an hour to get to every club and some of them are only open for limited hours (eg not in daytimes much or only from late evenings). | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure That's a brilliant initiative and great advice! So great to see something other than go to organised club or social advice. Sometimes you'd think that all there is to this place from reading Forum. We don't have the club option in Ireland, North or South, so perhaps there is a higher incidence of one to one meets here. The social scene is thriving though. As someone else mentioned above, a group social doesn't have to be a large gathering. In my early days, I co-organised with another Ireland forum user, a small group getting together for coffee. We were twelve in total and it was a great opportunity to get to know people I might not ordinarily have crossed paths with. Again it's another idea which is proactive and might work for Dave Yes that makes sense regarding Ireland and clubs. Out of interest though isn't there DV8 in Dublin? I've only noticed as there is a place with the same name in Kent that I go to sometimes. It is a myth that everybody is England is well-served by clubs. Some are very lucky with many close but lots not. I'm not too far out of London but at least an hour to get to every club and some of them are only open for limited hours (eg not in daytimes much or only from late evenings). " Yep there's a DV8 but no connection with the one in Kent. We have club nights here run by event organisers (including DV8) but no full time permanent clubs | |||
" I've never been to a group social and haven't attended a club yet. I'd like to go to one with someone I've built a bond yet. I've only met one to one and met numerous people without a verification and happily given them their first. My veris are a variety of social only and meets for play. I do take on board my experience on here may vary from a single males pov. I do know the people I have met, the majority have gone in to meet others/still use the website. Some do leave or re-join later. You are a very attractive woman and sometimes just taking the plunge is better than messages alone. Go to Chameleons, sign up and spend the night in the bar area chatting to people. Even without offers of play you may get to meet and know more people in one night than a month of trawling through dreamers and fantasists. We will be in Chams on Feb 3rd, we would love to meet, chat and maybe more." Thank you for the compliment and the suggestion. I'll keep it in mind but I do have reservations at going to a club alone as a single woman. Probably sounds daft,maybe that can be a 2024 aim. | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure" I got my first verification on the Help a Fabber Out thread in the Ireland section. It's great. Just just post your location and availability and someone might very well have a look and be available to meet for a coffee and a verification. It works very well. | |||
" I've never been to a group social and haven't attended a club yet. I'd like to go to one with someone I've built a bond yet. I've only met one to one and met numerous people without a verification and happily given them their first. My veris are a variety of social only and meets for play. I do take on board my experience on here may vary from a single males pov. I do know the people I have met, the majority have gone in to meet others/still use the website. Some do leave or re-join later. You are a very attractive woman and sometimes just taking the plunge is better than messages alone. Go to Chameleons, sign up and spend the night in the bar area chatting to people. Even without offers of play you may get to meet and know more people in one night than a month of trawling through dreamers and fantasists. We will be in Chams on Feb 3rd, we would love to meet, chat and maybe more. Thank you for the compliment and the suggestion. I'll keep it in mind but I do have reservations at going to a club alone as a single woman. Probably sounds daft,maybe that can be a 2024 aim." You'd be fine as a single lady, I've often gone solo. I did lots of research first and spoke to many single ladies about which clubs they'd recommend. My first solo experience was nerve-wracking but it turned out to be an amazing night. Hardest bit was walking in, after that, it just kept getting easier. I've now done quite afew solo x | |||
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" Thank you for the compliment and the suggestion. I'll keep it in mind but I do have reservations at going to a club alone as a single woman. Probably sounds daft,maybe that can be a 2024 aim." A good time would be during the afternoon on a Saturday, it's quieter, there are a single guys and you can generally sit in the bar area. Get a tour from the staff and get a feel for the place. If you feel off, then just leave, it's really that simple. Safety of a couple is good too, explain it's your first visit, chat will flow very easily, most people there are great. | |||
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" Thank you for the compliment and the suggestion. I'll keep it in mind but I do have reservations at going to a club alone as a single woman. Probably sounds daft,maybe that can be a 2024 aim." Having recently come out of a long term relationship and being part of a couples profile I’ve now decided to continue my fab adventures alone. It’s certainly daunting but I enjoy everything about this lifestyle. I’m starting slowly with a large organised social next month. It’s a bit scary but I’m determined to do it. After this I will go to a club, luckily I’ve got lovely friends on here who I can arrange to meet. Also am messaging with someone I’d really like to meet so it’s all looking positive at the moment. Hope you pluck up courage to go to a club Definitely make it a goal for yourself x | |||
" You'd be fine as a single lady, I've often gone solo. I did lots of research first and spoke to many single ladies about which clubs they'd recommend. My first solo experience was nerve-wracking but it turned out to be an amazing night. Hardest bit was walking in, after that, it just kept getting easier. I've now done quite afew solo x" Lovely positive advice | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . " You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. | |||
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"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. " I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? " I think if Dave reappeared with a different name and nothing else changed with similar posts we would soon spot him. On the other hand if Dave wanted to be more positive and I'm sure he could leverage his Forum infamy into getting some conversations going and meeting somebody. Perhaps even one of you lovely ladies that comments here regularly
PS bit scary to think of socials where lots of Forum members and chat about others. Luckily the things I attend almost nobody has any interest in Forum or I'd be screwed...and not in a good way | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? I think if Dave reappeared with a different name and nothing else changed with similar posts we would soon spot him. On the other hand if Dave wanted to be more positive and I'm sure he could leverage his Forum infamy into getting some conversations going and meeting somebody. Perhaps even one of you lovely ladies that comments here regularly
PS bit scary to think of socials where lots of Forum members and chat about others. Luckily the things I attend almost nobody has any interest in Forum or I'd be screwed...and not in a good way "I have actually briefly spoken about you once! The conversation was on what pics guys should add, we were all talking about either single guys or the male half of couples where we were impressed with the pics being more than the run of the mill and I did mention your pic! I've always quite liked it. Most of our social things are clubs and there's quite afew of us who chat about the forums sometimes, the good, the bad, the questionable. I can't say I've ever seen a post or comment from you that I thought was negative in any way though! I'll be keeping an eye out now  | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? I think if Dave reappeared with a different name and nothing else changed with similar posts we would soon spot him. On the other hand if Dave wanted to be more positive and I'm sure he could leverage his Forum infamy into getting some conversations going and meeting somebody. Perhaps even one of you lovely ladies that comments here regularly
PS bit scary to think of socials where lots of Forum members and chat about others. Luckily the things I attend almost nobody has any interest in Forum or I'd be screwed...and not in a good way
I have actually briefly spoken about you once! The conversation was on what pics guys should add, we were all talking about either single guys or the male half of couples where we were impressed with the pics being more than the run of the mill and I did mention your pic! I've always quite liked it.
Most of our social things are clubs and there's quite afew of us who chat about the forums sometimes, the good, the bad, the questionable.
I can't say I've ever seen a post or comment from you that I thought was negative in any way though! I'll be keeping an eye out now "I read the first sentence and thought “Shit here we go. I’m in trouble!” but then pleasantly surprised so thank you. I think just the way it has worked out with the people I’ve met at events not being Forum. I know one lady who posts here a lot at times quite well over many years but she is an exception. Negative posts? You have to check quickly moderators delete them | |||
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"I am fairly new to fab so I am starting from 0 and finding it difficult to meet anyone from two points one being a single man and two I have no verifications. But I was on a different site for many years and had lots of very good friends but not even allowed to name the site on here, how can I make new friends like this. " There is a monthly group social in Norwich if you are interested, also one held in Kings Lynn. The organisers are: Velvets Norwich Socials West Norfolk Social Swap | |||
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"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure" That is a fantastic idea ,and do glad it works well over there. I will be having a look at that thread in the Ireland section. Thank You | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure That's a brilliant initiative and great advice! So great to see something other than go to organised club or social advice. Sometimes you'd think that all there is to this place from reading Forum. " Must Admit it sounds like a superb alternative to the usual advice . | |||
"Over here in the Ireland forum we've a long running "help a Fabber out" thread, the aim of which is to bring together unverified Fabbers with those happy to meet unverified Fabbers for a one to one social meet. Obviously not everyone is guaranteed a social meet & all the usual provisos regarding safety etc apply, but it works fairly well. Perhaps Dave you could set up something similar in your area? It would be a proactive move for sure This could also develop into very small groups socials that new people (including Dave) could be comfortable with. Perhaps say 6 people for a quick coffee rather than the full on big organised social. Might think about this for my area to help a few people out. " It is something that would be a fantastic opportunity for people like myself who isn't interested in the usual suggestion. Even a German together for a few people in Costa for a chat ,a laugh and ,even if it leads to nothing more ,it offers a regular opportunity for people to meet others . | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? " When the advice given is always, without exception the same ,and is something that not everyone is interested in doing, then you cannot blame that person for not acting on that advice . If you asked for advice on what is the best car to buy ,and people kept telling you to buy a van ,would you follow their just because a few others like vans? | |||
" It is something that would be a fantastic opportunity for people like myself who isn't interested in the usual suggestion. Even a German together for a few people in Costa for a chat ,a laugh and ,even if it leads to nothing more ,it offers a regular opportunity for people to meet others . " Why don’t you organize the first one? | |||
"Dave, I'd say throw in the towel on this profile. Regroup, rethink your approach and come back with a new profile? Fresh start might be what you need. Thanks for your reply, its appreciated. As someone who isn't interested in clubs or organised large socials,and never will be , a new profile isn't going to change what I'm looking for ,or my chances of achieving that ,plus I'd see that as being deceitful,ie , having no success with one username ,so set up a different one hoping people wouldn't know who you are . I prefer to be up front ,and open about what I'm I terested in ,and not interested in . This is my first ,and only profile on here ,and if I never get to enjoy meeting other members ,then so be it , but I would never try and decieve people by setting up a new profile in a different name ,that's wrong . You're looking at it wrong. Setting up a different profile would not, in my opinion, be "deceiving", it would be a fresh start. I know that probably less than 5% of Fabbers use forum, but you are rather infamous on here, for your "woe is me", inflexible posts. So a fresh start could be good for you from that angle, unless you just love hitting your head on the wall. I fully agree and have mentioned the same afew times. The name alone now is synonymous with negativity, I've heard people in social settings when the subject of fab forums or single guys on fab arise, talk about it. Word of mouth counts for alot with some people. But then on the other hand, perhaps Dave enjoys himself just beimg forum infamous? I've long considered these are generally just troll posts now, so much advice given but nothing ever taken (except a rewrite of profile notes) so I'm sure Dave just likes the attention they bring? I mean, any attention is still attention right? When the advice given is always, without exception the same ,and is something that not everyone is interested in doing, then you cannot blame that person for not acting on that advice . If you asked for advice on what is the best car to buy ,and people kept telling you to buy a van ,would you follow their just because a few others like vans? " You know, I've never even seen you reply to the idea of smaller group socials. You always say you don't wish to engage with clubs or large group socials, cool. But why not smaller group socials? There are loads around, some no bigger than around 6 people. Other ideas like looking for groups that fit your interests, like dog walking groups. Tbh I'd understand your point if the only advice ever given was clubs or large group socials but it hasn't been just that. I mean, it took nearly a year of people suggesting your profile notes didn't paint you in a positive light before you tried to do anything about it, we're still yet to see a pic of you smiling. What about swing bars? I don't mean clubs. I mean bars/pubs. Something like that might feel far more familiar. If you're unsure what I mean, look up Flirts at Xtasia. Daytime opening hours. I'm not suggesting you travel to it but it's not the only one of its kind. What about swing holidays? Lots of group packages that go to Spain, France, Vegas etc. I just don't see the point in the constant posts about failing to land a meet but then not considering what other options there are. That's why it seems like this is just trolling. If you truly feel you've done everything you can and you're still unsuccessful, wouldn't looking for a different platform be your next move? As this one is perhaps not for you? | |||
" It is something that would be a fantastic opportunity for people like myself who isn't interested in the usual suggestion. Even a German together for a few people in Costa for a chat ,a laugh and ,even if it leads to nothing more ,it offers a regular opportunity for people to meet others . Why don’t you organize the first one?" This is an excellent idea. Be the change you want to see in the world. | |||
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