FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Can some one help me get the ball rolling?
Can some one help me get the ball rolling?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hi op
People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you.
That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Also op maybe pad your profile out a bit
With your likes and what you offer. Many women like me, look at a profile first and if it's not appealing they won't respond.
Yours doesn't have much to go on tbh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *rpeggioCouple 45 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"I'm not really good at describing myself, could I message you privately, would you be able to help me with it please?"
__
I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do I know there successful?"
Look at their verifications and the people they've met.
We can't write your profile for you op, you know yourself and we don't, just be honest about what you're after.
Check out some of the men who post on the forums, many of them do OK. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man 45 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"How do I know there successful?"
Hiya op
It would help if you use the reply and quote per comment so others know that you are responding to them
Think of this site similar to how you would start chatting with anyone in the real world the bonus part is the bio giving you something to read and understand them a little like a background. Personality why they are here and what they are looking for
Why are you here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
|
"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that
I'm just not that good at flirting"
Omg another one …
You shouldn’t expect sex just because it’s a sex site  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that
I'm just not that good at flirting"
Op means original poster.
It's a swinging site, some use it as a sex site though.
Just speak to people politely and as I say read their profiles and onlu message if you fit what they are after.
Maybe have a think about what you actually do want to find on here and then you can update your profile with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ah okay that makes sense
Yeah I don't really know what I want I just wanted to spice my life up abit I came out of a 9 year relationship I don't think I want to settle down for a bit yet
I don't want to get with a swinger |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 45 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"I joined a sex site for sex
Why shouldn't I get what I want?
I don't get it ??"
__
Your reasons for joining Fab means zero/nothing/nada to anyone here and no one cares about whatever you may want. What matters to people here is what they personally want for themselves.
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. If you want to have sex with one of them, you may start thinking if it is you, in particular, what they want, rather than what you want (very clear in your profile).
Yes, there are here couples and women desperate to have sex, but they can choose among thousands, so they won't have sex with anyone except with the ones they fancy and find charming and attractive.
Do you think your profile as of now will make you to be one of them?
Does this help you to understand the site?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like I said earlier, I don't really know what I want, I just haven't been having much look with dating apps if I find the one, I'll delete there apps"
Earlier you said you didn’t want a relationship as you just got out of a 9 year one but then saying your not successful on dating app... you do realise dating apps are used for looking for relationships NOT sex ... seems to me by your posts and your profile you are not respectful of wemon and treat them like a piece of meat who are here just for your pleasure and maybe that is the reason your getting no where If I receive a msg I look at profile first yours I would block straight away after reading your looking for dirty nasty sex,makes you sound like a mad man  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think maybe a hook up site like T•••er or a hire a professional site may be what you are after. Bottom line is swinging isnt easy or cheap on a shag per hour/£ invested basis. if you enjoy meeting new and open minded people enoy a club or spa, love the excitement of the maybe , maybe not and can handle lots of rejection and dissapointment then knock yourself out fab is fun  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Start the conversation by being yourself, actually no try and make an impression. Be confident but not too cocky like.
I am shawn Scott! The Stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin' son of a gun!
You can love me or you can hate me but you better get used to me because I am the man of the hour, the man with the power and I'm too fukin sweet to be sour!
Maybe with a bit more confidence ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
"Yeah that makes more sense thank you, I was just asking people how I could make my profile a bit better or just some conversation tips"
How’s about getting some of what I would say are the basics and stating when you can meet a potential suitor…during the day..??..weekends only..??..only certain days of the week..??
Just put your thinking cap on and delve into your memory bank and perhaps think when you first started dating and what you were happy with and what you were looking for and when..not just sex
It may help you a little
Good luck OP, sounds like you may well need heaps of it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 44 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex.
Really ? "
__
LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any.
And if you meant that here everyone is looking for sex so the statement was obvious and pointless, just consider that many profiles don't want to meet at all and they say so clearly in their profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex.
Really ?
__
LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any.
."
I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi OP,
You've said earlier on in the thread that you're just looking for sex, so I'd suggest taking out the part in your profile that says you want to start dating. Other than that, it's looking good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex.
Really ?
__
LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any.
.
I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified .
"
We struggle because we won't just fuck anyone who asks. We struggle because, even if you find someone compatible, the logistics and practicalities don't always match up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full"
I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 44 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex.
Really ?
__
LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any.
.
I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified .
We struggle because we won't just fuck anyone who asks. We struggle because, even if you find someone compatible, the logistics and practicalities don't always match up."
__
I would not be able to summarise it better than you did. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 44 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full
I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations."
__
My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you."
People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you're looking for sex, OP, you should say so. You'll put people off who are not looking to date by lying about it, and end up (at best) attracting what you don't want.
Many of us are here for casual sex - and if I got an interesting message from a man who said he was looking to date, I'd run a mile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full
I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations.
__
My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you."
People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets."
Exactly this. Initially he wanted a nasty filthy fuck. Now he's looking to date |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full
I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations.
__
My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you."
People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets.
Exactly this. Initially he wanted a nasty filthy fuck. Now he's looking to date "
I could absolutely write that in a way that would sound appealling on his profile. I won't, but I could. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
"Start the conversation by being yourself, actually no try and make an impression. Be confident but not too cocky like.
I am shawn Scott! The Stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin' son of a gun!
You can love me or you can hate me but you better get used to me because I am the man of the hour, the man with the power and I'm too fukin sweet to be sour!
Maybe with a bit more confidence ?? "
Woooooooo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple 44 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I joined a sex site for sex
Why shouldn't I get what I want?
I don't get it ??"
There is nothing wrong with joining a site that is basically people looking for sex and hoping for the same. Being honest is the best thing and you are being honest.
Now to your question, some people take a while before they get what they are looking for, you just have to manage your expectations.
Do you think you would enjoy big socials? There are lots going on that you could meet people in. There are also club nights for newbies if you are into Clubs where you can meet people.
In the meantime while waiting for some contact on here, why not stick around on the forum and join in , it may get you noticed.
Good luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple 44 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"No I just mean I don't really know what to say I was just asking for advice and I feel like a lot of people have just jumped on me"
I agree, so why I have removed posts.
Can people remember, this is a thread asking for advice, there is no need to be rude if you give it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you're looking for sex, OP, you should say so. You'll put people off who are not looking to date by lying about it, and end up (at best) attracting what you don't want.
Many of us are here for casual sex - and if I got an interesting message from a man who said he was looking to date, I'd run a mile. "
Yep agreed. There is nothing wrong with saying you are looking for sex and vast majority here aren't looking to date. Some people a bit too shy about saying it sometimes - actually find this in real life too at events where lots want sex but don't want to say explicitly, then there is a panicked frenzy in the last hour Guess it all boils down to how you say it - here and in real life. There is a polite, respectful, flirtatious way to ask to fuck with somebody and a very rude off-putting way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
I’ve said this recently as well and this is with no disrespect intended to the OP but is there any genuine benefit to these profile advice threads? As pointed out above, the people who post these threads are generally not looking to better describe themselves, they’re looking for a magic formula or cheat code to beat the system and get meets with people regardless of what they meet what those people are looking for or not.
As someone else pointed out above, the profile has now been amended to be what OP considers more likely to get them a meet, but obscures their true aim.
Who does this benefit? We talk about women and couples having unsuccessful meets or no shows like that’s some big surprise, but it’s no surprise to me when every single day we have thread after thread of men basically expecting someone else to write their profile for them in a way that does not reflect who they are or what they want.
Again, this is not intended in a nasty way whatsoever, just some food for thought and something I would love admin to consider for future permitted forum posts. It’s really tiresome to see the same thread over and over again which at best, is pointless because the poster ignores the advice, and at worst, is harmful because they essentially tailor their profile to attract everyone (which attracts no one) or attract the wrong person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
The only comments I will make directly to the OP is - if you’re not looking to date, don’t say that on your profile, it’s not fair. If you are looking to date, this probably isn’t the place for you. If you think you’re going to get sex just by being here, this definitely isn’t the place for you. And if you don’t want to have sex with swingers, why on earth would you join a swingers’ site?
Respectfully, maybe examine what it is you thought this site was about and whether it truly matches your intentions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah that's what I was thinking, I felt like someone was being funny with me that's why I get funny too I didn't mean it like that it's a bit out of contexted I want to take it down I'm well embarrassed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ah okay that makes sense
Yeah I don't really know what I want I just wanted to spice my life up abit I came out of a 9 year relationship I don't think I want to settle down for a bit yet
I don't want to get with a swinger"
I can relate to that - I use this site for sex, I go to clubs and I have had threesomes. But I don’t consider myself a swinger - if I met the right person I’d be in a monogamous relationship, not swinging.
I do feel some people have been a bit harsh to you in their responses. For me a first message that grabs my attention needs to say more than just ‘hi’ - show you have read my profile and tell me what you want. Take notice of the profile, for example if they say no dick pics don’t send any. Conversation needs to keep flowing so no one word replies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
"Yeah better looking profile now, a fan of the witcher? Yeah me too, I'm not into men but if Henry cavill took me out, wined and dined me in an Aberdeen Angus steak house I would be tempted!"
Haha totally agree with you especially if Henry wore he's witcher outfit. I'd definitely pay for the meal.
Big fan aswell, but prefer the game n books |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Haha yeah witchers sick!
I want to grow my hair out like his but I'm too far recied ??"
If you use the "reply and quote" posters know who you're replying to.
In answer to your OP.
There's nothing that will guarantee that you get any replies to your messages or that they will lead to you having sex.
A decent honest profile, attending socials and clubs, will increase your chances.
But remember that this is a swinging site, so anyone you do have sex with is likely to be a swinger. If that's not for you, this might not be the right site for you.
Nita |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman 44 weeks ago
somerset |
if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j555Couple 44 weeks ago
Huntingdon |
"
There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex.
Really ?
__
LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any.
.
I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified .
"
--------------
We don't pre-arrange meets, we just find guys at clubs and we're always happy to verify them afterwards. That's the way for guys to get their verifications and help them to get meets with others on Fab. I also see guys getting verifications from organised socials too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you..."
Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
"
I think there are a lot of people like you around male and female. That was broadly speaking me until a few years ago and then branched out into wider swinging world. You are right on Forum being a smaller sliver of Fab and it is not always representative of the wider Fab world. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic?
I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
"
Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. "
All of my initial verifications came from interactions with people in the forum.
I joined in with silly forum games and flirted shamelessly with the people I was interested in.
The forum is a great way to have a visibly positive presence for people who aren't inclined to socialise in groups.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here.
All of my initial verifications came from interactions with people in the forum.
I joined in with silly forum games and flirted shamelessly with the people I was interested in.
The forum is a great way to have a visibly positive presence for people who aren't inclined to socialise in groups.
"
It is also a great way to have a visibly negative presence too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman 44 weeks ago
somerset |
"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you...
Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging. "
i agree i arrange meets on the day but if i meet a guy even just for sex and he has no social skill as in talking having a laught then he will get no where the scene of meeting without socials is a very small part for most ... we are all different but we are talking anout a guy who wants help and im my opinion those that cant figure it out themsdelves will fail on this scene |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic?
I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. "
Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rpeggioCouple 44 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. "
__
At home we call that 'selective hearing', Dave. In all threads about this topic, people are not saying it's the ONLY way. They are saying it's the EASIER way to meet people, without the need to be verified, write catchy messages, being attractive, or having an outstanding profile.
We are not looking to meet singles, but if we were at a social and an unattractive man talks to us politely and we exchange a few words, even if he turns out to be as dull as fish water, we would not care whether he is in Fab or not, and would not mind to verify him if he asks politely.
Is it the ONLY way? No. It's it EASIER for single men profiles to meet people, compared to meet only through Fab exchanges? Definitely YES. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it.
The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience.
I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club.
I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab.
Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here.
__
At home we call that 'selective hearing', Dave. In all threads about this topic, people are not saying it's the ONLY way. They are saying it's the EASIER way to meet people, without the need to be verified, write catchy messages, being attractive, or having an outstanding profile.
We are not looking to meet singles, but if we were at a social and an unattractive man talks to us politely and we exchange a few words, even if he turns out to be as dull as fish water, we would not care whether he is in Fab or not, and would not mind to verify him if he asks politely.
Is it the ONLY way? No. It's it EASIER for single men profiles to meet people, compared to meet only through Fab exchanges? Definitely YES."
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. Hopefully my luck will change eventually if I keep checking the adverts for one on one socials locally in my area . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic?
I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some.
Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do "
I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge.
I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges)
I wanted it badly enough to make it happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you...
Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging.
i agree i arrange meets on the day but if i meet a guy even just for sex and he has no social skill as in talking having a laught then he will get no where the scene of meeting without socials is a very small part for most ... we are all different but we are talking anout a guy who wants help and im my opinion those that cant figure it out themsdelves will fail on this scene"
I do agree with that last part especially. You can lead a blind horse to water but it still probably won't get a drink.
PS I still think for a huge number it's not a scene. Fab is just another way to get a hook-up much like many other non-swinging sites. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic?
I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some.
Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do
I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge.
I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges)
I wanted it badly enough to make it happen."
Glad you found a way to make it work. I am not naturally comfortable in big social groups like parties or clubs. I force myself and get away with it but much prefer one on one, smaller groups, environments that are a big less social and bit more play. I think the people who are natural social creatures find this very hard to get their heads around. So I have sympathy for those that want to "swing" in the broad sexual experience sense but really struggle with the group social/club side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic?
I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some.
Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do
I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge.
I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges)
I wanted it badly enough to make it happen.
Glad you found a way to make it work. I am not naturally comfortable in big social groups like parties or clubs. I force myself and get away with it but much prefer one on one, smaller groups, environments that are a big less social and bit more play. I think the people who are natural social creatures find this very hard to get their heads around. So I have sympathy for those that want to "swing" in the broad sexual experience sense but really struggle with the group social/club side. "
I'm not comfortable with it either but - as I say, I wanted it badly enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does any on fancy giving me lessons more help the better haha "
Best bet for any topic on the forums is to use the search function first of all - there's a huge amount of advice and pointers written by the lovely forumites!
If that's not enough, have a look at starting your own thread on the forum - that way things don't get confusing and it's also considered good manners - Xeno |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *heelerMan 44 weeks ago
Northants |
"Hi op
People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you.
That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it. "
Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi op
People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you.
That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it.
Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view"
Oh those fickle females! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
"Hi op
People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you.
That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it.
Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view"
She might have viewed in ninja mode and decided you weren’t for her. In any case, it’s not a guarantee of anything the entitlement is baffling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
|
"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that
I'm just not that good at flirting"
ALWAYS REMEMBER CONFEDENT IS
SEXY .
IF ON A DATE DO NOT LOOK AT ANOTHER
Woman gave ,100%
It will come good luck mate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
