FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > A New Year , I Wonder ,Can I Finally Arrange A One On One Social. ?
A New Year , I Wonder ,Can I Finally Arrange A One On One Social. ?
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"First, I just want to wish everyone a happy new year,and wish you all the best of luck with getting meets this year . It's a new year, and I am hoping to break my Fab virginity this year (although I hoped for the same last year, but ,alas with no luck ). A year and a half into my Fab life , numerous profile re-writes , loads of face pics later ,I'm still in the starting blocks,and no meets ,even for a coffee ,(I'm not interested in group socials or clubs). Is a year an a half without any sort of meet a red flag to people on here ? . " To lots of people, yes it is. One on one socials are more common on dating sites, but I'm sure it happens lots by the number of 1-2-1 verifications. | |||
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"First, I just want to wish everyone a happy new year,and wish you all the best of luck with getting meets this year . It's a new year, and I am hoping to break my Fab virginity this year (although I hoped for the same last year, but ,alas with no luck ). A year and a half into my Fab life , numerous profile re-writes , loads of face pics later ,I'm still in the starting blocks,and no meets ,even for a coffee ,(I'm not interested in group socials or clubs). Is a year an a half without any sort of meet a red flag to people on here ? ." It's more of a red flag on a couples or womans profile, not a single man's. If you went to a social you could get 6 or 7 meet verifications in one night. You may even get lucky. | |||
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"Yes, for anyone who's been here over a year. " Thanks for your reply. Could I ask why ? Are you saying that everyone should have had a meet after a year on here ? | |||
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"Yes, for anyone who's been here over a year. Thanks for your reply. Could I ask why ? Are you saying that everyone should have had a meet after a year on here ? " I think it’s more a case of there being multiple avenues in which people could meet through this site. The red flag comes from being unwilling to explore alternatives if your initial efforts haven’t paid off. | |||
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"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. " This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. | |||
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"No verifications from meetings would be a red flag for concern, but not a red line preventing us from talking to you or meeting you socially. We have met with couples and individuals that are not even in Fab, and even played with some. To us, the big red line is a profile that would refuse to meet us at a social or club, because of the lack of confidence in yourself. Swinging is not just about sex. It is about building relationships with others that are on the same page about sexual preferences. If a person is comfortable to talk to us about this when there's other people around but not comfortable if the people around are swingers, the chances that we would like you are zero. You come up as a person that dislikes swinging and swingers, and hoping to have a social first that could lead into a sexual encounter. That sounds more like Tinder, not Fab. People here are looking for swingers but you don't come across as one of you age not comfortable with the swinging environment. I think you could be successful in Tinder. Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. There's nothing wrong with that, but that lack of confidence will make you very unattractive to people. Not your face, not your photos, not your body, not whatever you have now in your current profile. And anything that you do or change in your profile will be of no consequence. Singles and couples do not want to waste time. If we were to like your profile and give it a go, we would prefer to meet you at a social or club, so after our one to one with you we would have the option to progress with you (if you would also like us) or to say thanks, nice to meet you, and move on to meet other people there. And you could hang around and do the same or just go home." Thank you for your feedback ,it's really appreciated . When I was last on the scene ,20 years ago ,when I was last single ,I was a member on a swingers site ,and I met a lot of lovely people for social meets ,done if them led to having fun ,some were just a good night out ,good conversation and a drink .But all these were one on one socials that were arranged through messaging and chatting on the site ,then a phone call to prove we were all genuine. Twenty years on ,and back on the scene ,it seems like people are only interested in group socials and club meets .Anyway ,I hope you have had a good Christmas and New year. | |||
"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. " Thanks for your feedback. I can only go on my experience when I was on the scene 20 years ago ,when I was last single. Then I met some lovely couples and single women, sometimes it was just for a drink ,and didn't go any further ,and sometimes it led to having fun together ,and it was all through one on one public socials.Maybe things have changed 20 years on ,but back people met without having to go to clubs or organised group socials. Happy new year to you both. | |||
" You've not had any meets and you won't get any. Your pictures on your profile are awful. You look miserable in them all. They don't exactly scream 'I'm fun to be around'. " Thanks for your reply.Maybe you are right ,and I won't ever have a meet ,but I do the best I can regards my photos, having to take them myself .I know I'm not the best looking bloke ,but I didn't think they were "Awful". | |||
" You've not had any meets and you won't get any. Your pictures on your profile are awful. You look miserable in them all. They don't exactly scream 'I'm fun to be around'. Thanks for your reply.Maybe you are right ,and I won't ever have a meet ,but I do the best I can regards my photos, having to take them myself .I know I'm not the best looking bloke ,but I didn't think they were "Awful". It's nothing to do with your looks. You look miserable, you can help that. How hard is it to smile? " | |||
"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. Thanks for your feedback. I can only go on my experience when I was on the scene 20 years ago ,when I was last single. Then I met some lovely couples and single women, sometimes it was just for a drink ,and didn't go any further ,and sometimes it led to having fun together ,and it was all through one on one public socials.Maybe things have changed 20 years on ,but back people met without having to go to clubs or organised group socials. Happy new year to you both." No, I get that. But if you've been on fab for more than a year and it's not working for you like it did 20 years ago, I just really don't understand why you wouldn't change your tactics by either attempting a different way to meet people or using a different platform. I've never known anyone continue to do something, garnishing poor results but still continue to do it expecting said results to change without adapting the variables. I mean, that behaviour in itself is a red flag aswell. You've got alot against you. Your profile is just alot of words used to put you down, you also kind of put down the people you're looking to meet. Your pics do make you look miserable, smiling is always going to work better. You don't want to socialise past one to one which isn't working for you, you've previously stated you gave up even messaging people. The green arrow shows a pattern of behaviour like this which I'm doubtful anyone is going to find attractive. I'll wish you the same though, hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year. I shall look forward to this post being ignored and a new (effectively copy and pasted) post going up asking the same questions in a week or so, as if you're not the formite that has received probably the most advice I've witnessed on this site in the time we've been here. | |||
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"It should be clear by now that OP's fetish is for attention." Like a neglected child thats taken the decision to just be naughty. Because even bad attention is attention. It's almost nice though to see an incel with less hatred than is usually portrayed and seen on social media. It shows not all of them are as openly abusive etc. A side of that community I wasn't really aware of | |||
"Yes, for anyone who's been here over a year. Thanks for your reply. Could I ask why ? Are you saying that everyone should have had a meet after a year on here ? " For us, if someone's on here that long without meeting, there's something wrong, or they're just using the site as porn. | |||
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" Twenty years on ,and back on the scene ,it seems like people are only interested in group socials and club meets .Anyway,I hope you have had a good Christmas and New year. " Thank you. Hope you have a good 2024. I can't wait to hear from ValleyDave he's had a 1-2-1. Can't agree with "seems like people are ONLY interested in group socials and club meets". People are still interested in 1-2-1 meets. We had many last year and today we have been invited to have a social meet. Lena and I have the age to have been swinging 20 years ago but we are new, so no idea what it was like back then. Today, the world is different for sure. People want to meet for a 1-2-1 in a safe environment and not reassure their time. So many men not showing to one to ones, so couples know that if the man is a no show or if there's no chemistry they can still enjoy the evening at a club or social, and if there's chemistry they can go ahead and play with you there and then and you'll be out of the door that night with the biggest smile in 20 years. And you still have not responded why you think you are entitled to choose the venue for a social meet. Why you think you are the person to decide? You want to meet a couple or a woman and you are not flexible about the place to meet for a social? No surprise no one will want to meet you. Many single women only meet at clubs because they feel safe there. Do you think they are going to make an exception just for you and meet you elsewhere to please you? A proper gentleman would agree to meet them wherever they feel most at ease and safe so they can relax and talk to you without worrying about anything else. I'm giving you real reasons why people are willing to have 1-2-1s but they are part of it and so they have a say on the location where they prefer to meet. It's not just your choice. | |||
"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. Thanks for your feedback. I can only go on my experience when I was on the scene 20 years ago ,when I was last single. Then I met some lovely couples and single women, sometimes it was just for a drink ,and didn't go any further ,and sometimes it led to having fun together ,and it was all through one on one public socials.Maybe things have changed 20 years on ,but back people met without having to go to clubs or organised group socials. Happy new year to you both. No, I get that. But if you've been on fab for more than a year and it's not working for you like it did 20 years ago, I just really don't understand why you wouldn't change your tactics by either attempting a different way to meet people or using a different platform. I've never known anyone continue to do something, garnishing poor results but still continue to do it expecting said results to change without adapting the variables. I mean, that behaviour in itself is a red flag aswell. You've got alot against you. Your profile is just alot of words used to put you down, you also kind of put down the people you're looking to meet. Your pics do make you look miserable, smiling is always going to work better. You don't want to socialise past one to one which isn't working for you, you've previously stated you gave up even messaging people. The green arrow shows a pattern of behaviour like this which I'm doubtful anyone is going to find attractive. I'll wish you the same though, hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year. I shall look forward to this post being ignored and a new (effectively copy and pasted) post going up asking the same questions in a week or so, as if you're not the formite that has received probably the most advice I've witnessed on this site in the time we've been here. " __ ValleyDave has become a case study for Sydney University now, so please I beg everyone to be nice and contribute to his regular posts so they can gather enough research material for the peer-reviewed journal paper. To be fair, I would miss his regular posts if he was not around. | |||
 If you ever get to meet somebody please don't go on about it.
I actually feel a touch sorry for you in that people always hit you with the group social/club line. Of course it would help but the vast chunk of Fab singles having one on one meets are not having them or arranging them via group socials or clubs. People who are regular club attendees are very vocal on this (and there a lots on Forum) but don't think it is necessarily representative of broader Fab world. I checked a bunch of men and ladies near me with several veris last year out of interest and the vast majority were private meets. In my own direct experience I went years and years on here having privately meets completely away from clubs/parties.
Something radical - perhaps you are focusing on the social too much. I see lots of ladies (and couples) in my area basically looking for men for sex not a social! Some want to meet the same day even and do. Perhaps focus on those sorts of people but you would need to be more flexible on travelling perhaps or willing to accommodate them. | |||
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"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. Thanks for your feedback. I can only go on my experience when I was on the scene 20 years ago ,when I was last single. Then I met some lovely couples and single women, sometimes it was just for a drink ,and didn't go any further ,and sometimes it led to having fun together ,and it was all through one on one public socials.Maybe things have changed 20 years on ,but back people met without having to go to clubs or organised group socials. Happy new year to you both. No, I get that. But if you've been on fab for more than a year and it's not working for you like it did 20 years ago, I just really don't understand why you wouldn't change your tactics by either attempting a different way to meet people or using a different platform. I've never known anyone continue to do something, garnishing poor results but still continue to do it expecting said results to change without adapting the variables. I mean, that behaviour in itself is a red flag aswell. You've got alot against you. Your profile is just alot of words used to put you down, you also kind of put down the people you're looking to meet. Your pics do make you look miserable, smiling is always going to work better. You don't want to socialise past one to one which isn't working for you, you've previously stated you gave up even messaging people. The green arrow shows a pattern of behaviour like this which I'm doubtful anyone is going to find attractive. I'll wish you the same though, hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year. I shall look forward to this post being ignored and a new (effectively copy and pasted) post going up asking the same questions in a week or so, as if you're not the formite that has received probably the most advice I've witnessed on this site in the time we've been here. " Thanks for your feedback .I always reply, its only polite . My latest profile re-write was an attempt to be light humoured , but seems I've got it wrong again . My profile bio and photos have always been an issue for me. I've looked at hundreds if blokes profiles to try and get an idea of what works .I've seen some with very little writing ,and only one body photo ,yet they have had dozens of meets .I've seen some with a very detailed profile and loads of face and body photos ,yet they have had no meets. It's so difficult to get my profile right ,and it seems I'm still getting it wrong . Yes ,I have asked for profile advice quite a few times ,as I know the forum is the place for people to seek a few pointers on their profile. I've been told to provide more detail in my bio ,done that . People have said to try and show my personality, done that in my latest re-write. People suggested having face pics ,not cock pics ,done that . I thank you again for taking the time to reply. | |||
"Well Dave I wouldn't say not having had a meet in one year is a red flag per se but constantly going on about it probably is If you ever get to meet somebody please don't go on about it.
I actually feel a touch sorry for you in that people always hit you with the group social/club line. Of course it would help but the vast chunk of Fab singles having one on one meets are not having them or arranging them via group socials or clubs. People who are regular club attendees are very vocal on this (and there a lots on Forum) but don't think it is necessarily representative of broader Fab world. I checked a bunch of men and ladies near me with several veris last year out of interest and the vast majority were private meets. In my own direct experience I went years and years on here having privately meets completely away from clubs/parties.
Something radical - perhaps you are focusing on the social too much. I see lots of ladies (and couples) in my area basically looking for men for sex not a social! Some want to meet the same day even and do. Perhaps focus on those sorts of people but you would need to be more flexible on travelling perhaps or willing to accommodate them. "Thanks,I really appreciate a different angle from someone who meets people directly from here ,rather than "clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people " replies I normally get .I will take your advice on board, move my focus to what you gave suggested . Thank you again. | |||
"I've seen some with very little writing ,and only one body photo ,yet they have had dozens of meets . " Dozens of meets or dozens of verifications ? From a single group social or club visit you can receive multiple verifications. | |||
"First, I just want to wish everyone a happy new year,and wish you all the best of luck with getting meets this year . It's a new year, and I am hoping to break my Fab virginity this year (although I hoped for the same last year, but ,alas with no luck ). A year and a half into my Fab life , numerous profile re-writes , loads of face pics later ,I'm still in the starting blocks,and no meets ,even for a coffee ,(I'm not interested in group socials or clubs). Is a year an a half without any sort of meet a red flag to people on here ? . " Forget trying to meet on here .. most of the single ladies are also on pof tinder etc etc.. so make sure you are on there. I've met 3 women from pof that had a profile on here. It's just far easier to do it that way round. On here you are really up against it and you are by and large wasting your time. | |||
"Here. you will come across as socially-challenged unless you can verbalise what's the difference between ... A) you talking to the two of us in a pub where there's people around. B) talking to just the two of us in a pub where a swingers social is taking place concurrently. C) talking to the two of us at the bar of a club where we have agreed to meet for a one to one social. This is an excellent point. Why would meeting in a public vanilla place, to discuss swing life, possible sex, attraction etc be anymore easy than doing exactly that in a social setting with fellow like-minded people who are also interested in this lifestyle. It doesn't make sense. That and OPs unwillingness to accept not all organised socials are large groups. There are many that are smaller groups. To write off the actual social side to this whole community just seems very strange. Especially when coupled with constant complaint that nothing he has already done (sat and waited for pussy to come knocking effectively) has actually worked for him. If he's so sure that only the gym fit, 6'+, younger males with bigger penises are the only men succeeding on fab, I don't really understand why he'd continue to be here and not throw the towel in and look to other platforms more suited to what he's looking for. Though I think perhaps he enjoys the trolling at this point. Thanks for your feedback. I can only go on my experience when I was on the scene 20 years ago ,when I was last single. Then I met some lovely couples and single women, sometimes it was just for a drink ,and didn't go any further ,and sometimes it led to having fun together ,and it was all through one on one public socials.Maybe things have changed 20 years on ,but back people met without having to go to clubs or organised group socials. Happy new year to you both. No, I get that. But if you've been on fab for more than a year and it's not working for you like it did 20 years ago, I just really don't understand why you wouldn't change your tactics by either attempting a different way to meet people or using a different platform. I've never known anyone continue to do something, garnishing poor results but still continue to do it expecting said results to change without adapting the variables. I mean, that behaviour in itself is a red flag aswell. You've got alot against you. Your profile is just alot of words used to put you down, you also kind of put down the people you're looking to meet. Your pics do make you look miserable, smiling is always going to work better. You don't want to socialise past one to one which isn't working for you, you've previously stated you gave up even messaging people. The green arrow shows a pattern of behaviour like this which I'm doubtful anyone is going to find attractive. I'll wish you the same though, hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year. I shall look forward to this post being ignored and a new (effectively copy and pasted) post going up asking the same questions in a week or so, as if you're not the formite that has received probably the most advice I've witnessed on this site in the time we've been here. Thanks for your feedback .I always reply, its only polite . My latest profile re-write was an attempt to be light humoured , but seems I've got it wrong again . My profile bio and photos have always been an issue for me. I've looked at hundreds if blokes profiles to try and get an idea of what works .I've seen some with very little writing ,and only one body photo ,yet they have had dozens of meets .I've seen some with a very detailed profile and loads of face and body photos ,yet they have had no meets. It's so difficult to get my profile right ,and it seems I'm still getting it wrong . Yes ,I have asked for profile advice quite a few times ,as I know the forum is the place for people to seek a few pointers on their profile. I've been told to provide more detail in my bio ,done that . People have said to try and show my personality, done that in my latest re-write. People suggested having face pics ,not cock pics ,done that . I thank you again for taking the time to reply. " I totally see what you did with your profile. While the humour wasn't lost on me, considering tour previous write up was quite negative towards yourself in the sense of only selling yourself as average, I'm not sure this one now really does anything better. We personally wouldn't be interested in someone who called themselves cheap, an old run around etc. It reads alot like you're putting yourself down. Or perhaps a lack of confidence. You've also suggested you're looking for similar people. I'm just not convinced many women, especially older women would want to see themselves or have others see them as an "older model" if you know what I mean? For me, it doesn't read like they're anything special. Others may have a totally different perspective though. It's just how we read it | |||
"I've seen some with very little writing ,and only one body photo ,yet they have had dozens of meets . Dozens of meets or dozens of verifications ? From a single group social or club visit you can receive multiple verifications. " Yep. I was part of quite a large chat group for a few months and when the social was organised I went from having 4 to having 24 veri's. The vast majority of my verifications are from social events big and small. I don't go to clubs at all. To be fair I have a decent few verifications from one on one social meets too. It's totally possible to find great connections on fab without every going near a club. | |||
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