FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Still no luck!
Still no luck!
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I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"Have you considered going to a club, go along and just talk to people, like a real person. If you are attractive to them you may get invited to join."
We'd second this. All of our meets apart from 1 have been at clubs and about 75% of our verifications are from non sexual encounters |
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By *ucka39Man 47 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Hiya op
Maybe see how others have created their profile and from that see if you could possibly improve your own as users read and view before even considering replying to messages
Think of your profile like a shop window making it appealing
Good luck buddy  |
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By *impcuckMan 47 weeks ago
edge of taunton |
luck has nothing to do with it
attraction and personalities are what people look for and only when thats found its about tick boxes if no ones interested then no ones interested
as a guy you are also one of many and by many i do mean many look how many men have joined just this xmas period loads and loads |
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Maybe smile on one of your pics op and also fill in something about what you offer and like.
At the min there's not much to go on & most of us won't even look at the message if we don't like the profile. |
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By *orny-DJMan 47 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
May I suggest you read through your post again OP as you're coming across as 'entitled'.
Nobody owes you a reply, or a meet.
Just because you've contributed financially towards the site?
That's precisely the attitude that many women and couples complain about single men at clubs who think that because they've paid to get in they sonehow deserve a shag |
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Clubs - socials - any opportunity to have first encounters with people for real …. Plenty of clubs have new comers nights …. Meeting off fab ? Rarely going to happen for a normal / average straight man |
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By *lueseasWoman 47 weeks ago
Leamington Spa |
"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck! |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck! "
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off... |
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By *lueseasWoman 47 weeks ago
Leamington Spa |
"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off..."
Or maybe they just want to be treated respectfully?
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By *JandJJCouple 47 weeks ago
Nuneaton |
"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off..."
When we see what is on offer, we don't blame them.
Do you??
Some of the single guys put absolutely no effort into their profile!! |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off...
When we see what is on offer, we don't blame them.
Do you??
Some of the single guys put absolutely no effort into their profile!!"
And then wonder why they have no luck!  |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off...
When we see what is on offer, we don't blame them.
Do you??
Some of the single guys put absolutely no effort into their profile!!"
I've no idea about that, I don't look at guys profiles.
I'm referring to this scenario, where the guy presumably is making an effort yet has still committed the mortal sin of referring to women as females |
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By *JandJJCouple 47 weeks ago
Nuneaton |
"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off...
When we see what is on offer, we don't blame them.
Do you??
Some of the single guys put absolutely no effort into their profile!!
I've no idea about that, I don't look at guys profiles.
I'm referring to this scenario, where the guy presumably is making an effort yet has still committed the mortal sin of referring to women as females "
Maybe you should take a look at profiles, there is almost always an answer there. |
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Tbh the site supporter costs really aren't exorbitant when compared to others. As to the rest it's a shop window and very much a buyers market so you have to make yourself stand out and be desirable. Also there's a lot of us (fellas) all doing the same. |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Referring to women as females would alone put me off any communication with you no matter how attractive you may be. Maybe some more thoughtfulness about how you communicate and how you present yourself and your view of others would be a good starting point… good luck!
Some women really are just looking for reasons to bin guys off...
When we see what is on offer, we don't blame them.
Do you??
Some of the single guys put absolutely no effort into their profile!!
I've no idea about that, I don't look at guys profiles.
I'm referring to this scenario, where the guy presumably is making an effort yet has still committed the mortal sin of referring to women as females
Maybe you should take a look at profiles, there is almost always an answer there."
I'm not looking for an answer to anything, that's the OP. I'm just making an observation |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
been here 10 years then covid fuck it up .past four years have been shit very little luck .then one day angel appears and now I'm all loved up .so anything can happen here.just hang in there |
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By *ucka39Man 47 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"And to be fair, OP, I doubt your choice of user name is doing you many favours"
I doubt very much a user name has much too do with not being successful that's the least but information is important and isn't much but photos are ok |
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By *ucka39Man 47 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"OP, you may message, but your profile gets looked at before anything else, and it has nothing that stands out so why should you get a reply?"
I'll be fair on this because I have chatted with few with so little on the bio but are friends off the site and yes guys need to up their game for the audience of women |
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By *orny-DJMan 47 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"And to be fair, OP, I doubt your choice of user name is doing you many favours
I doubt very much a user name has much too do with not being successful that's the least but information is important and isn't much but photos are ok "
You'd be surprised. I've seen.numerous forum threads over the years where women and couples have made comments that particular types of user name would put them off of reading a message |
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By *ucka39Man 47 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"And to be fair, OP, I doubt your choice of user name is doing you many favours
I doubt very much a user name has much too do with not being successful that's the least but information is important and isn't much but photos are ok
You'd be surprised. I've seen.numerous forum threads over the years where women and couples have made comments that particular types of user name would put them off of reading a message"
Might but some are over board but never judge a book by it's cover as I have chatted with women whom had two lines and are besties off the site as well |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Things have definitely changed on here over the years. Club meets are much more successful than on here these days. I've seen a definite increase in the numbers of women that do not want to meet attached men which I think defeats the purpose of swinging. I feel as though this site is just an add on to plenty of fish now. I'm just going to continue with the clubs where the actual swingers go. I'll get a lot of stick for saying that but after 8 years it's definitely changed. |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
To be honest mate, you can have a detailed profile with plenty of info, lots of public face pictures ,and it makes no difference what so ever .
People say , have a detailed bio, have face pics ,blah, blah ,but in my experience on here ,if you havnt got any meet verifications, you have no chance |
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What does luck have to do with it?
Compatible people are hard to find.
A profile detailing what you want and offer, and a good range of pictures for an idea of physical attraction will help encourage people to find out if there's any compatibility.
Getting out to socials and clubs to get meet verifications helps get you known and seen as someone who turns up and actually does the things. And means less instant dismissal from the consideration pile by those who only have time to investigate those who look like a good bet.
But no-one I've met from here directly met me because they were lucky. It was because they presented enough of themselves to draw my interest. Because I had a reason to believe we'd have at least some chemistry and compatibility.
I suppose there's some luck for the ones that happened to be at a club at the same time as me and we got chatting there, but that's kind of outside of fab  |
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I usually can start my chance of meet from a cam session, mostly just me on the cam. A lot don’t want the conversation to continue after cam but some conversations do continue. In some cases it’s been a year or more till have met. This might of course not work for you but I have been lucky to have some sexy fun from chatting even if did not meet. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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The purpose of swinging is to swing. Not cheating if you have permission from the other partner. Not cheating when it's out in the open in a club and you go off with a couple. You think a married man or woman having sex with others is cheating? |
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5 out of 6 photos have you in black tops, very boring you need a bit more variety.
Are you a gentle lover?
Maybe a bull?
Are you up for social ?
Your PF says nothing about you the person or what you have to offer
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"
Getting out to socials and clubs to get meet verifications helps get you known and seen as someone who turns up and actually does the things. And means less instant dismissal from the consideration pile by those who only have time to investigate those who look like a good "
Not everyone is interested in clubs, or large organised socials. I would love a social meet for a coffee or a bite to eat in a public place,but a one on one social where you can concentrate on the person you are meeting.
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I'm part of a couple on here. When we feel "the urge", we just go to a club - it's so much less hassle than trying to organise something through here, and having to worry about accommodation and times everyone can make. When we've met people from here it's generally been when we're on holiday abroad and those issues don't really apply.
It's also more secure at a club, because anyone we meet won't know how to find us again unless we swap details afterwards. And most clubs have a restricted single male membership, so they're doing the first filter for us.
I'm sure there are couples that still arrange meets through here, but the growing availablity of clubs may mean there are a lot less than there used to be.
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"I'm part of a couple on here. When we feel "the urge", we just go to a club - it's so much less hassle than trying to organise something through here, and having to worry about accommodation and times everyone can make. When we've met people from here it's generally been when we're on holiday abroad and those issues don't really apply.
It's also more secure at a club, because anyone we meet won't know how to find us again unless we swap details afterwards. And most clubs have a restricted single male membership, so they're doing the first filter for us.
I'm sure there are couples that still arrange meets through here, but the growing availablity of clubs may mean there are a lot less than there used to be.
"
Exactly the same for us  |
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"I'm part of a couple on here. When we feel "the urge", we just go to a club - it's so much less hassle than trying to organise something through here, and having to worry about accommodation and times everyone can make. When we've met people from here it's generally been when we're on holiday abroad and those issues don't really apply.
It's also more secure at a club, because anyone we meet won't know how to find us again unless we swap details afterwards. And most clubs have a restricted single male membership, so they're doing the first filter for us.
I'm sure there are couples that still arrange meets through here, but the growing availablity of clubs may mean there are a lot less than there used to be.
"
We actually prefer meeting couples from here in private homes. We find such meets more intimate, comfortable, relaxed and erotic. We like playing with bi couples which are less evident in clubs, especially in public play areas. We have had good times in clubs but normally when we are travelling. If we get the occasional urge to share a bi single man, there are plenty here to choose from. |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
Your first picture you look like a convict but your last picture is better. Your pictures don't stand out at all and you come across as making little to no effort!
Your profile is utterly boring and in absolutely no way stands out or adds what may be your personality.
Stop moaning and start by making yourself stand out more!
Harsh but it's the truth!
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time!
Your first picture you look like a convict but your last picture is better. Your pictures don't stand out at all and you come across as making little to no effort!
Your profile is utterly boring and in absolutely no way stands out or adds what may be your personality.
Stop moaning and start by making yourself stand out more!
Harsh but it's the truth!
"
But saying all that we’ve had lenthy profiles, lots more pics blah blah blah and gota say having been in this site around 12 yrs it is dire lol just habit that brings us back deffo get to clubs that’s for sure |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Private house parties used to be good,can’t find any these days how about u? "
We split our time between chameleons and the attic mostly these days. Feel that it was fading away a few years ago then covid killed it.
We've had guys turn up 2 minutes there done dressed and out the door. Lots of selfish guys on here now and it's a bit tinderish which is why we prefer the guys that stand out or we feel we'll just get the same old same old. |
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Thanks everyone that’s commented. There are a lot of points and suggestions to take on board, starting with a revamp of my profile info - (actually having some) and also some new pics where I look hopefully more interested!
Happy new year to you all. |
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Really pleased that you have a thick skin and took on the advice it's hard sometimes to take the beating but I hope it all works out for you.
Massive improvement noted, all the best in this new year. |
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By *i3188Man 46 weeks ago
Just outside Spalding |
I wouldn’t really worry too much Dan , I doubt you are doing too much wrong mate .
Being polite on here sadly seems to be frowned upon by some , to the point where they find it uncomfortable.
Just be yourself mate …. Polite and respectful and don’t put too much pressure on yourself and become expectant for friendships to happen .
Always expect the unexpected !!
Take care and Happy Fabbing in 2024 mate . |
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It will be interesting to see how you get on. I think your profile is great as it is now, but my suspicion is that it still takes a lot of luck.
On the other hand, if you were applying to someone running a social, I think you'd be right at the top of their list of single guys.
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Delete any profiles that delete your message straight away. Do the same for any profiles that don't match up with what you want.
Be clear on your profile, use decent grammar and spelling.
Have decent pics with the promise of more if people ask for it.
Just being honest and clear is a large step that many don't take.
I'm no expert and I certainly don't have loads of success but just being a good person and reflecting that in your profile will see you good. |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out."
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
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By *irldnCouple 46 weeks ago
Brighton |
Lots of good advice in this thread so won’t repeat beyond, verifications are catch 22 but needed as a quick “are they legit” filter and echo the advice that your profile is your shop window so make it as good as you possibly can.
Saying that, it IS difficult as a single guy (I, MrB swung as a single before meeting MrsB) because the competition is huge and swinging is for many about fulfilling the fantasies so they are drawn to the people that fit that criteria.
A general comment (not aimed at OP) is that it seems to us that the internet has fucked up some people’s ability to hold a conversation or put in any effort. So many resort to text speak or one liners and expect instant results! Unless it is your kink, nobody likes to be treated like a piece of meat or a commodity. We are swingers not sex workers A bit of effort can go a long way.
Good luck OP. |
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By *istr3ssWoman 46 weeks ago
Stockton-on-Tees |
"luck has nothing to do with it
attraction and personalities are what people look for and only when thats found its about tick boxes if no ones interested then no ones interested
as a guy you are also one of many and by many i do mean many look how many men have joined just this xmas period loads and loads"
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
A single photo from 5 years ago isn't going to help instill trust and openness.
Everyone has standards but I'd suggest yours are too high if you're not getting replies from people you find attractive.... |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
"
When people say "clubs are where it is at" they mean it is where they meet people. Nothing wrong with that but if you go to clubs a lot and pretty much only meet people at clubs and not privately then you can sometimes lose touch with life outside of clubs (and vice-versa). There must be at least half a dozen couples and single ladies looking for men today on my local updates - and I mean looking for sex today or this weekend and not a social. |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
"
We go to clubs regularly. We only play with single guys. Loads of single guys go to our local club and most are very successful.
If you're reasonably good looking, nice, and understand what environment you're in, you are likely to enjoy your club experience. |
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"There must be at least half a dozen couples and single ladies looking for men today on my local updates - and I mean looking for sex today or this weekend and not a social. "
And there's probably six hundred men in the same area, so most guys find it difficult to stand out.
I don't agree with how single guys are treated at clubs but it's still the best option if you're not physically exceptional. |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
We go to clubs regularly. We only play with single guys. Loads of single guys go to our local club and most are very successful.
If you're reasonably good looking, nice, and understand what environment you're in, you are likely to enjoy your club experience. "
.Thank you for your reply. |
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"There must be at least half a dozen couples and single ladies looking for men today on my local updates - and I mean looking for sex today or this weekend and not a social.
And there's probably six hundred men in the same area, so most guys find it difficult to stand out.
I don't agree with how single guys are treated at clubs but it's still the best option if you're not physically exceptional."
Had a look at local meets in my area advertised today ,as advised to do by a successful guy who has replied to me in this thread (and i thank him for his advice) ,and everyone posted by couples were looking for a couple or single woman. None were looking for single blokes ,and the meets posted by single women were wanting either BBC ,or gym fit guys .
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
"
I went to a club on New Years Eve and played with three single men |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
I went to a club on New Years Eve and played with three single men"
All there seems to be in my area are club meets and organised socials ,which I'm not interested in .I look daily on local meets list, but no one ever advertises a one on one social, or advertises a meet looking for a single bloke for a one on one meet. |
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I think far too many people rely on fab alone for meeting others. Making sure you have recent photos and a decent profile should be bare minimum.
There’s lots of socials and club events to meet others. |
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"I’ve been on this site for a number of years, spent god knows how much on being a site supporter, I regularly message females and couples that I find attractive and yet still no luck actually arranging a meet.
Id like to think that I’m of reasonable attractiveness, polite and well presented so where have I been going wrong all this time! "
You're not me |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
I went to a club on New Years Eve and played with three single men
All there seems to be in my area are club meets and organised socials ,which I'm not interested in .I look daily on local meets list, but no one ever advertises a one on one social, or advertises a meet looking for a single bloke for a one on one meet. "
Maybe you need to look at how you're going about things? If being Veri'd is all important to you and you can't do it by a 1-2-1 social then just go to a club. Surely it can't be that difficult for you?
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
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At a club you meet people; no endless to and fro messaging. If you arrange something and the other party doesn't turn up you can still have a good night and not wasted a journey.
Yes, some clubs charge more for single males but not all clubs do. There have been many threads about pricing so no need to start that again here.
If you go to a pub you've never been to before there will no doubt be regulars who know the staff by name and know lots of people there already; is that a clique? Sure if you attend a club for the first time you might not know anyone; this is where your social skills come into play. Go and chat, introduce yourself. Unless you expect to go and have lots of sex without even bothering to talk to anyone.
We, as lots of other couples, go and Mrs is more than happy to play with single men. In some respects that easier than arranging to play with couples.
If you are after a verification a club or a social is as good a place to start as any. |
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"Absolutely, clubs are where its at. When we do look for guys on here we want them to stand out.
Can I ask why clubs are the holy grail for so many people .? I've never been to one ,and have no interest in doing so. I have read so many threads and posts from single blokes who said men get ripped off with the entrance fee ,get ignored all night as clubs are very cliquey and are basically aimed at couples and single females ,and single blokes are merely the cash cows allowed in to generate income on the door .
"
Ok, clubs have charged more for single guys for over 20 years. I would say clubs are what you make them. I enjoy watching so for me I am happy to wander around a club seeing what is happening. Don’t get me wrong I do play openly as well in the dungeon more so but that’s where I feel comfy.
Normally my bdsm kit stimulates discussion, however I have had people that have said they will not play with me because of it. Often I will reply with oh we don’t have to use the kit, I play vanilla, oh no thank you.
I know couples that will only play with women other couples but will still say hello to me because i am at the club. Clubs are tricky I would say, fine line between assertive and pushy. |
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