FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Meeting in a foreign town
Meeting in a foreign town
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I arranged to meet a verified girl tonight in another town after briefly messaging last night. She’d said it was a group meeting but was vague & wouldn’t tell me who was going to be there. I got ready to go and messaged for directions and was given a postcode but as you know many addresses share the same postcode. I caught the train anyway after letting her know I’d phone or text when I got there. When I arrived I messaged via Fab, texted and phoned but received no reply. Meaning I was stranded in a strange town with nowhere to go. I about turned and got on the next train home. I’ve messaged tonight to thank her for leaving me stranded with no response yet she’s posting her so-called address asking for lads to go round. should I out her as a wrong’un? Anything could've happened to me tonight. I mean it could be a misunderstanding she’s verified and has photos to prove it but don’t want any other lads getting fucked over. There’s no need for it at all like |
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"I arranged to meet a verified girl tonight in another town after briefly messaging last night. She’d said it was a group meeting but was vague & wouldn’t tell me who was going to be there. I got ready to go and messaged for directions and was given a postcode but as you know many addresses share the same postcode. I caught the train anyway after letting her know I’d phone or text when I got there. When I arrived I messaged via Fab, texted and phoned but received no reply. Meaning I was stranded in a strange town with nowhere to go. I about turned and got on the next train home. I’ve messaged tonight to thank her for leaving me stranded with no response yet she’s posting her so-called address asking for lads to go round. should I out her as a wrong’un? Anything could've happened to me tonight. I mean it could be a misunderstanding she’s verified and has photos to prove it but don’t want any other lads getting fucked over. There’s no need for it at all like "
No advice incoming no? Maybe I’m just venting because I’m pissed off about being messed about. That being said I can take a knock back but it would’ve been better done after the first message, save any hassle. That is all |
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By *ickD80Man 49 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
How long did you wait for her to reply? Maybe she was busy and hadn’t looked at her phone when you were trying to contact her.
Going to someone’s house after only chatting to her briefly is very risky and a bit reckless, especially as you say she was vague about the arrangements. If you’re going to do something like that then you need to be prepared for something to go wrong or for it to be a fake address unfortunately.
If you were able to go back and get a train home then you weren’t actually stranded in a strange town with no where to go….you were just in a town that you had never been to before. If you had no way of getting home then you’d be stranded with no where to go but that wasn’t the case.
Yes, anything could have happened to you but going to an address that you were given by someone you’ve only chatted to briefly on the internet is putting yourself in a lot of danger, the situation didn’t become risky when she didn’t reply to you, it was risky from the moment you left your house. |
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"How long did you wait for her to reply? Maybe she was busy and hadn’t looked at her phone when you were trying to contact her.
Going to someone’s house after only chatting to her briefly is very risky and a bit reckless, especially as you say she was vague about the arrangements. If you’re going to do something like that then you need to be prepared for something to go wrong or for it to be a fake address, unfortunately.
If you were able to go back and get a train home then you weren’t stranded in a strange town with nowhere to go….you were just in a town that you had never been to before. If you had no way of getting home then you’d be stranded with nowhere to go but that wasn’t the case.
Yes, anything could have happened to you but going to an address that you were given by someone you’ve only chatted to briefly on the internet is putting yourself in a lot of danger, the situation didn’t become risky when she didn’t reply to you, it was risky from the moment you left your house. "
I hear what you’re saying Nick I messaged her 2 & 1hrs before I set off and continuously messaged and phoned her. Her phone was off or whoever’s phone. I just didn’t know when I got off the train on the outskirts of a town I didn’t know. So maybe not stranded but that’s a phrase I would use when you’re in a place with nowhere to go and no one to contact for help. I would call that stranded. The only reason I got home in thankfully one piece was because the train going home was late. So I done one. This was the first time I’d put myself in that position and will be the last. I’m not usually one to take risks. Anyway, all well that ends well as they say. I’m home and dry
Apologies for not quoting and replying to other posters. I forgot how the forum works |
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By *ickD80Man 49 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"How long did you wait for her to reply? Maybe she was busy and hadn’t looked at her phone when you were trying to contact her.
Going to someone’s house after only chatting to her briefly is very risky and a bit reckless, especially as you say she was vague about the arrangements. If you’re going to do something like that then you need to be prepared for something to go wrong or for it to be a fake address, unfortunately.
If you were able to go back and get a train home then you weren’t stranded in a strange town with nowhere to go….you were just in a town that you had never been to before. If you had no way of getting home then you’d be stranded with nowhere to go but that wasn’t the case.
Yes, anything could have happened to you but going to an address that you were given by someone you’ve only chatted to briefly on the internet is putting yourself in a lot of danger, the situation didn’t become risky when she didn’t reply to you, it was risky from the moment you left your house.
I hear what you’re saying Nick I messaged her 2 & 1hrs before I set off and continuously messaged and phoned her. Her phone was off or whoever’s phone. I just didn’t know when I got off the train on the outskirts of a town I didn’t know. So maybe not stranded but that’s a phrase I would use when you’re in a place with nowhere to go and no one to contact for help. I would call that stranded. The only reason I got home in thankfully one piece was because the train going home was late. So I done one. This was the first time I’d put myself in that position and will be the last. I’m not usually one to take risks. Anyway, all well that ends well as they say. I’m home and dry
Apologies for not quoting and replying to other posters. I forgot how the forum works "
I’m sorry but I’m completely confused now, do you mean that when you messaged her 1 and 2 hours before you set off and continually after that her phone was off then?
What didn’t you know when you got off the train?
You had your phone so you could have contacted anyone for help, when you’re in your home town and you need to contact someone for help do you walk to someone’s house of phone them?
Why was the train being late the only reason you were able to get home in one piece? What would have happened if the train hadn’t been late? |
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"Apologies. No reply’s had shown up on my feed when I posted. I wasn’t being a dickhead ??"
 it's fine.
Lesson learned I guess. It's horrible when something like this happens. I don't know what people get out of it.
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"How long did you wait for her to reply? Maybe she was busy and hadn’t looked at her phone when you were trying to contact her.
Going to someone’s house after only chatting to her briefly is very risky and a bit reckless, especially as you say she was vague about the arrangements. If you’re going to do something like that then you need to be prepared for something to go wrong or for it to be a fake address, unfortunately.
If you were able to go back and get a train home then you weren’t stranded in a strange town with nowhere to go….you were just in a town that you had never been to before. If you had no way of getting home then you’d be stranded with nowhere to go but that wasn’t the case.
Yes, anything could have happened to you but going to an address that you were given by someone you’ve only chatted to briefly on the internet is putting yourself in a lot of danger, the situation didn’t become risky when she didn’t reply to you, it was risky from the moment you left your house.
I hear what you’re saying Nick I messaged her 2 & 1hrs before I set off and continuously messaged and phoned her. Her phone was off or whoever’s phone. I just didn’t know when I got off the train on the outskirts of a town I didn’t know. So maybe not stranded but that’s a phrase I would use when you’re in a place with nowhere to go and no one to contact for help. I would call that stranded. The only reason I got home in thankfully one piece was because the train going home was late. So I done one. This was the first time I’d put myself in that position and will be the last. I’m not usually one to take risks. Anyway, all well that ends well as they say. I’m home and dry
Apologies for not quoting and replying to other posters. I forgot how the forum works
I’m sorry but I’m completely confused now, do you mean that when you messaged her 1 and 2 hours before you set off and continually after that her phone was off then?
What didn’t you know when you got off the train?
You had your phone so you could have contacted anyone for help, when you’re in your home town and you need to contact someone for help do you walk to someone’s house of phone them?
Why was the train being late the only reason you were able to get home in one piece? What would have happened if the train hadn’t been late?"
You’re just being pedantic now mate. I’m gonna leave you to triumph in the knowledge you have a far superior intellect. Yes, I am being arsey with you. Are you this bad on X(Twitter) also? ffs man get a grip |
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OP sorry you had a wasted journey and worrying night. Hard to know what happened but if you think a real lady with veris then might just be she overinvited and realised too many or perhaps just got cold feet - regardless obviously very rude. I wouldn't let it put you off and sometimes no harm in rolling the dice. It's not uncommon for people to give a postcode and then give you street name or number once close. In years gone back I've risked a few things like this and sometimes it works out as others don't bother or don't want to take the risk. Saying that I'm older and bit more circumspect now |
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"OP sorry you had a wasted journey and worrying night. Hard to know what happened but if you think a real lady with veris then might just be overinvited and realised too many or perhaps just got cold feet - regardless obviously very rude. I wouldn't let it put you off and sometimes no harm in rolling the dice. It's not uncommon for people to give a postcode and then give you street name or number once close. In years gone back I've risked a few things like this and sometimes it works out as others don't bother or don't want to take the risk. Saying that I'm older and bit more circumspect now "
I’ve since found out the whole thing was my fault. She messaged me her phone number and I saved it to my phone wrong meaning when I tried to contact her I wasn’t. Fuck knows who got my messages but it wasn’t her. We’ve spoken this morning and she’s not happy and rightly so, I fucked up. Anyway she wants fuck all to do with me now. That’s a harsh lesson learned I tell ya and let it be a lesson to anyone else who keenly notes a number down in a rush |
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"Why was the train being late the only reason you were able to get home in one piece? What would have happened if the train hadn’t been late?"
I read what he was saying as he was expecting to stay the night, and his train arrived after the last train home was scheduled to leave. He'd had no response by that point (because he was messaging the wrong number), so when he saw that the last train home hadn't left, he decided to cut his losses and get on it.
Moral of the story is "don't leave home until you know the mobile number is working". And "don't assume that a meet will always work out, so have a backup plan". |
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Glad you've got to the bottom of the problem OP.
This has got me thinking of my own experiences as single and couple over the years and I think there is a big difference in how couples meeting couples handle things and singles meeting singles when it comes to meeting at home, or even in a hotel.
Couples are often much more open and give full address and sometime phone details sometimes days in advance. Not uncommon to go on WhatsApp and get live location sent.
Singles generally much more careful, closed, even furtive depending on how you look at it. Getting a postcode and then more details when close is not uncommon. Often details exchanged quite last minute. Often no phone number. I think singles, male and female, are understandably a lot more cautious because of safety and of course sometimes they are doing things without the knowledge of a partner.
Of course always exceptions but think there is a pattern. Actually I think this goes for lots of the topics on Forum- the swinging world for couples and singles feel so very different at times. |
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Next time, consider meeting someone in a club.
Clubs don't move or ghost you.
If the person you meet was fake, chickens out or ghosts you, there is still a club full of people.
Chat to people, tell them what you are looking for and if all else fails "hang out" at the glory holes. |
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It's a bit harsh to not want any contact because you saved her number wrong...
I'd say learn from this op, don't travel a good distance without meeting someone socially first.
She may not have been playing games, but there are many threads where men have gone a fair way to be stood up. Some couples and men have also paid for hotels and then the meet has not shown up.
Always think of your own safety and your time or cheeky said above try a club. |
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"Next time, consider meeting someone in a club.
Clubs don't move or ghost you.
If the person you meet was fake, chickens out or ghosts you, there is still a club full of people.
Chat to people, tell them what you are looking for and if all else fails "hang out" at the glory holes."
But she didn't ghost him. It has turned out to be OP's own mistake and sounds like he would have met and had fun but for that.
Clubs can be great but apart from the time, distance, cost (most of us don't live that close to a club) but a huge chunk of the single swinging scene is away from clubs and most ladies a single man might meet never go.
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By *rpeggioCouple 49 weeks ago
Baughurst |
"Glad you've got to the bottom of the problem OP.
This has got me thinking of my own experiences as single and couple over the years and I think there is a big difference in how couples meeting couples handle things and singles meeting singles when it comes to meeting at home, or even in a hotel.
Couples are often much more open and give full address and sometime phone details sometimes days in advance. Not uncommon to go on WhatsApp and get live location sent.
Singles generally much more careful, closed, even furtive depending on how you look at it. Getting a postcode and then more details when close is not uncommon. Often details exchanged quite last minute. Often no phone number. I think singles, male and female, are understandably a lot more cautious because of safety and of course sometimes they are doing things without the knowledge of a partner.
Of course always exceptions but think there is a pattern. Actually I think this goes for lots of the topics on Forum- the swinging world for couples and singles feel so very different at times. "
__
Totally true. As a couple with no experience as a single profile, like you have, some of the things we read here in the forums seem so far away from our experience. |
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"Next time, consider meeting someone in a club.
Clubs don't move or ghost you.
If the person you meet was fake, chickens out or ghosts you, there is still a club full of people.
Chat to people, tell them what you are looking for and if all else fails "hang out" at the glory holes.
But she didn't ghost him. It has turned out to be OP's own mistake and sounds like he would have met and had fun but for that.
Clubs can be great but apart from the time, distance, cost (most of us don't live that close to a club) but a huge chunk of the single swinging scene is away from clubs and most ladies a single man might meet never go.
"
I understand the OPs issue, was trying to draw a comparison for real world issues other people may have. Sure, large parts of the country are without easy access to swinger clubs and most activities are in private homes.
Helps to double check numbers, message as soon as you get them to confirm they work, verify before you leave the house. |
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"It's a bit harsh to not want any contact because you saved her number wrong..."
Well, from her perspective she'd been ghosted, and then afterwards he tries to re-establish connection with an excuse.
It may be harsh, but I'd say it's what 90% of the single women on here would do. It's a harsh world for single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Unless we've spoken on the phone, and have clear face pics and a mobile, or have previously met in a club, we won't travel anywhere.
Don't be a sucker, your time is worth more respect than shown to you by this person. Though that said, don't get desperate and travel miles on the vane hope of a shag. |
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"Unless we've spoken on the phone, and have clear face pics and a mobile, or have previously met in a club, we won't travel anywhere.
Don't be a sucker, your time is worth more respect than shown to you by this person. Though that said, don't get desperate and travel miles on the vane hope of a shag."
OP has since said it was his mistake due to confusion over phone numbers and not the lady’s fault.
Sometimes as a single you need to take more of a punt and those that do are can be rewarded. Also perhaps better not to give out mobile phone number. As other threads have shown can lead to problems in this day and age of connectivity. |
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