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Accommodating for the first time...
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Hello all,
I did a search first, but couldn't find a similar thread discussing the subject. And my first forum post; so I apologise in advance for any transgressions OMFG! Me and my fat fingers, had to delete original post *eye roll*
As per subject I wanted to find out how folk experienced in accommodating generally go about the process and what are some good tips of things to watch out for etc.
Quick background for me: I've just separated (amicably) from my wife, and will be moving into a 1 bedroom flat from the 1st of Dec. For the first time in my life I can fully embrace this lifestyle and who I actually am!
Thanks for spending the time reading  |
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Oops, second transgression *even bigger eye roll* should have added this to my original post...
But I do understand the basics, such as meeting in a social public place first always. Trust your gut instinct, more often than not, you are right...
Just any quirky stories and lessons learnt etc. |
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I occasionally host. I think it just depends on what you want.
I seek out longer term regular play partners so tend to develop a relationship and understanding over time before inviting anyone to my home.
I would be more cautious if I was into hook ups.
I would be even more cautious if I was new and driven by enthusiasm. |
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Just be cautious. We are very fussy about bringing anyone into our home for a number of reasons. We very much live two lives if you like and bringing someone/couple into our home almost crosses that divide. We have and will accommodate in future just much prefer a neutral setting such as a hotel or club.
Just make sure you’re sure about them before giving addresses etc. Good luck V&K x |
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We generally accommodate at hotels and even with our pretty good vetting process we’ve still met some people that we wouldn’t want to know our address.
It’s your home.
Do you want some nut job rocking up again at anytime day or night? |
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We're extremely cautious but have accommodated in the past. We usually make sure any valuables and anything with our full names are put away, for everyone's peace of mind. As I said once before I'd hate to think someone had taken something then find it a week later. Apart from that you can only trust that the people you host are above board and 98% of them are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We generally accommodate at hotels and even with our pretty good vetting process we’ve still met some people that we wouldn’t want to know our address.
It’s your home.
Do you want some nut job rocking up again at anytime day or night? "
 |
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Social first.
Make sure you are 100% comfortable with them coming to your home.
Tidy up.
Lock away any valuables.
Put away anything that has your name or where you work or your kid's names and/or schools, etc.
Be prepared and know how to legally deal with anyone who turns out to be a stalker/psychopath. |
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I've done it several times in the past, never had a problem with it. Tended to leave tv/music on in background to drown out any noise on party wall side. Always had a nice bottle of wine to offer (obviously not to anyone solo, and driving), tea, coffee, even a biscuit or two...
No different to having anyone else round really? I'd show folk to the living room, sit and make small talk, if all still happy to go ahead off to the bedroom, they probs used the bathroom at some point too... |
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By *lecom1Couple
over a year ago
Stornoway |
Living where we do we have no choice really and have to accommodate. Anyone visiting us has to stay the night somewhere due to the ferries. So we have a pleasant guest room with ensuite and a good man or couple staying for a night or so is not a problem and enables us to form a connection beyond the sexual side. |
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Don't worry too much about duplicate posts, if it was a real problem the usual "what's wrong with my profile" would just be axed by admins, but for a subject like this it's important to have the occasional refresh.
We predominately meet in clubs, currently unable to accommodate as between properties but when we have our own proper place again we will accommodate. Likely though we will invite people we have previously met in clubs, played with already and got to know. For a first time meet they would need to be exceptional. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the moment we don't accommodate as we've had a couple experiences of "weirdos" and don't fancy the thought of people like that knowing where we/our children live. But we are open to the idea of it once we've played with the same people a few times. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
As a cautious person I would only consider accommodating if I had met that person before at a club , spa or a social.If I had not met that person before then I probably wouldn’t unless they agree to meet socially before hand a few times before things go any further. |
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I do host and it does have advantages. I always check veries and the veries of the people who have verified them. Always happy to have a social in advance. I'm lucky and have made some great friends always happy to host for those and friends of theirs for small get togethers. Remember that the person visiting may be nervous so put them an ease as much as possible, address, date, time, where can they park etc etc. I always make it clear that there is no expectation of play from me, I may not be their cup of tea. Make sure you have a few things in tea, coffee something stronger if enjoyed and a few nibbles good luck and happy fabbing |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Always meet socially first OP at a public place for drinks or meal etc and be sure that you are comfortable with that person/couple in your home and then arrange it for a future occasion. |
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We're a couple and only meet guys, but we always make it clear that we'll open the door, you can walk away and no hard feelings. We also aka before we start anything and we always try to make them feel comfortable enough to walk out if not. I guess as a single guy and a women, you could do the introduction at the doorway and give them an easy escape route. Things like not locking the door or leaving the key in will help |
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