FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Baffled
Baffled
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok, and i don't want to sound arrogant/modest etc but..........im about to throw in the towel on here.......i don't know what women/cpls are looking for???...im 40, attractive (see verifications), single can accom. travel, ......and just keep getting delete. delete......when i contact people.....i have altered my profile a million times......doesnt help, I'm honest and reliable......yet still....nothing. zilch. zero.....can anyone help....please.................thanks. max. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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its a shite 1 line profile because I've written, and re-written a million times, females just put ' will fill in later'.......ive put my life story on here, also been very honest.....so, one line was literally last resort........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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try and put a little more effort into your profile, when i get a message from a bloke i automatically look at his profile and if its like yours is at the min i delete, sad to say i know but if your serious about this site a little more effort is needed  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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...tried everything to differentiate......still doesn't work......im not bald, fat, hairy, ugly, I'm single, can accom etc etc etc.........have tried hiding verifications....wrong as not enough, have tried showing them, wrong too many.....wrong hair colour, too near, too far,......maybe I'm just missing messages....... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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think my biggest issue is that I'm genuine, don't have a beer belly, ..etc...........like title says I'm baffled........as looking at profiles women seem to go for rough looking, hairy , fat, ugly blokes.......and arrange stuff with people who can't b arced to turn up..........yet these guys are at it like rabbits...???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop moaning about it.... 
Get your profile filled in so it sells you.
You have obviously done something right in the past, as you have had meets!!
Get yourself to socials and maybe clubs...
You get out what you put in.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"think my biggest issue is that I'm genuine, don't have a beer belly, ..etc...........like title says I'm baffled........as looking at profiles women seem to go for rough looking, hairy , fat, ugly blokes.......and arrange stuff with people who can't b arced to turn up..........yet these guys are at it like rabbits...????"
Dude I'm fat with a beer belly im married as well and I do ok
Do not assume you are entitled to any meets on here and you will do fine.
It is also possible that the people you want to meet are just not into
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop moaning about it....
Get your profile filled in so it sells you.
You have obviously done something right in the past, as you have had meets!!
Get yourself to socials and maybe clubs...
You get out what you put in.
Good luck "
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first thing we do before i open a email is go to profile read veris(if any) look at who the persons met these way can find out little bits ie str8 men who have met tvs men ect , have they met bare back shaggers .do they post much ,if i find loads of twisty posts cant get meet posts ect il give them the no thanks . just redo profile the honest way you have done before , get to socials go to clubs ,get your username around ppl do take notice . like hey this guy goes to socials clubs and seems to really put him self into the scene, anyway hope it all works out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you may be flogging a dead horse if you feel so strong about it. Not worth getting that upset about it. Perhaps give things a break and re-evaluate.
Genuine reliable etc are all good qualities but starting threads like this perhaps don't demonstrate them. |
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By *udereMan
over a year ago
haringey |
While i,m the first to admit that i,m not exactly beating them off with a shitty stick so dont have "the answer".
I cant really see this thread doing you too many favours hope im wrong though.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say change your words,As u coming across as desperate.
Ladies like a profile of what a guy can do to a lady.Meaning oral,etc.That u are a pleaser in the bedrm.
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Well, you have an answer or an excuse for everything, you are obviously unhappy on the site, so delete your account. Casual sex is really not worth getting your knickers into this much of a twist for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try clubs and socials to get yourself known on the scene rather than just relying on cold calling on a website where single guys are in huge numbers. Profile text as it stands currently is very off putting. Hope things pick up soon. |
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This is the 5th topic like this I have seen across these forums just this morning.
the simple answer is this
LOTS OF MEN
+
VERY FEW WOMEN AND COUPLES WHO MEET MEN
=
Not many meets for guys, or responses.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah buddy you do the maths lol 
Do you know the annoying thing though about all these moany single guys? When we want to meet them, I guess we have around a 40% success rate.
But to be honest, the way you have your profile now with the " whatever" comment and "can't be arsed" you may as well be " user no longer on site" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clearly your profile is negative, and therefore so are you.
Make a real concerted effort and put some positive energy into your profile, and keep it positive, and stop changing it.
Get out from behind your pc screen to meet people at clubs or socials (yes most socials are free or with very little charge!)
Network, get to know people, get talking, get validated (and show them).
Rome wasn't built in a day, and if your just looking for a quick pull - go to your local club/bars! As you will have far better chances there.
Get a range of decent profile pics, one with a smile is a great starting point - even if you cut off the nose and eyes part of your face for privacy.
No one owes you anything, get out there and work for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is the 5th topic like this I have seen across these forums just this morning.
the simple answer is this
LOTS OF MEN
+
VERY FEW WOMEN AND COUPLES WHO MEET MEN
=
Not many meets for guys, or responses.
"
We dont meet single guys per se, especially just off the back of a online profile - only once we have met them in person at a club or social.
We would then check their profile, and if the profile befits the person we had met previously, we'd could look to meet up.
Single guys need to put more effort into it, and show they are mature enough and have the positive attitude to be part of the scene to get a number of meets with couples.
There are some great guys out there who are just this - it's too many guys with a crap attitude and approach. |
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"
There are some great guys out there who are just this - it's too many guys with a crap attitude and approach."
Yep as soon as the "rest" of the guys cotton on to the fact that they arent owed a shag because they took 5 minutes to take a picture of their cock and sign up to a swinging site, or drove to a club and paid the money, the sooner a lot of those that moan about being a single guy would actually start getting meets.
Time, respect and effort will get you meets the rest of the ways of trying probably wont.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think people whohave been here over a year should have really learned some things about fab/sexsites..
OP uve ranted on about uve done this done that, belittled other peoples choices in who they meet(that often leads me to believe an aggressive standpoint such as "well u met that fat bastard, whats wrong with me...in fact..I think ur a fat bitch anyway", may have been used at times)
*btw now uve moaned try something constructive , like making a new profile text/pics re-add ur verifications(that u have pointed out) and finally...lose the angry status...making u look like an idiot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing that ever 'baffles' me is the concept that posting a thread moaning about a lack of success in a forum used by such a tiny percentage of a website!
Those the thread is aimed at will often never know of its existence - and those that do read it will perceive negativity and be put off contacting the OP!
All seems a bit futile really!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing that ever 'baffles' me is the concept that posting a thread moaning about a lack of success in a forum used by such a tiny percentage of a website!
Those the thread is aimed at will often never know of its existence - and those that do read it will perceive negativity and be put off contacting the OP!
All seems a bit futile really! "
thats why its also fun that people say "u've ruined ur future chances now with that post!"
the site owners admit the forums are the smallest section of fab...however its a good place to receive advice in a leisurely fashion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If u had listened to some of the good helpful advice u were given 5 weeks ago when u were having exactly the same rant u might get somewhere. I suggest going to the pub instead, yve probably more chance of hitting it off with someone there than on here as u cant be arced doing a decent profile. ITS ARSED!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not do what most of us single guys do and go out to get laid!
Yes, fab is a site to meet members of the opposite sex, (or the same sex depending on your preferences), but its not the ONLY place to do so!
Do what i do. I still leave my house to interact with people and use fab as a primarily social site to chat and if anything comes of that, BONUS! Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not do what most of us single guys do and go out to get laid!
Yes, fab is a site to meet members of the opposite sex, (or the same sex depending on your preferences), but its not the ONLY place to do so!
Do what i do. I still leave my house to interact with people and use fab as a primarily social site to chat and if anything comes of that, BONUS! Lol."
Yep, couldn't agree more. For a single guy Fab should be a little bit of icing, not the whole cake. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"...tried everything to differentiate......still doesn't work......im not bald, fat, hairy, ugly, I'm single, can accom etc etc etc.........have tried hiding verifications....wrong as not enough, have tried showing them, wrong too many.....wrong hair colour, too near, too far,......maybe I'm just missing messages......."
Whatever you are doing must be working if you say some people think you have too many veri's. |
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I think another mistake people make is believing the reasons they are told for someone saying NO.
Sometimes it is a lot easier for people to make up an excuse, you are too far away, too close, too many veris etc. They can't just say "I don't fancy you"
Of course they could have been pushed into giving a reason by someone just plain not accepting NO.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok, and i don't want to sound arrogant/modest etc but..........im about to throw in the towel on here.......i don't know what women/cpls are looking for???...im 40, attractive (see verifications), single can accom. travel, ......and just keep getting delete. delete......when i contact people.....i have altered my profile a million times......doesnt help, I'm honest and reliable......yet still....nothing. zilch. zero.....can anyone help....please.................thanks. max. xxx"
you mention verifications but you are not showing them so females cant see them, but fems get hundreds of messages and sometimes its easy to delete one liners than to answer them. but its everyone's choice at the end of the day to stay on fab or leave good luck with whatever you decide maybe get to a few socials if you stay that way fems can make up their mind after actually meeting you at the said venue. Cat |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"ok, and i don't want to sound arrogant/modest etc but..........im about to throw in the towel on here.......i don't know what women/cpls are looking for???...im 40, attractive (see verifications), single can accom. travel, ......and just keep getting delete. delete......when i contact people.....i have altered my profile a million times......doesnt help, I'm honest and reliable......yet still....nothing. zilch. zero.....can anyone help....please.................thanks. max. xxx"
OMG!!! Is it any wonder you aren't getting anywhere?
Have you been on Mars for the past 2 years since you started on here?
Because.... threads like this pop up with ever increasing regularity and if you had read them, you might have got some idea what to do.
In simple terms, you have to "SELL" yourself. You are up against lots of other guys seeking the same as you!
Your Profile is, err, minimalist, to put it mildly! You need to expand it; one-liners get you nowhere.
At least you don't have a "cock" pic, but all we have is your bum to look at!
Tsk, Tsk, people like to see a face!
Have you tried being on the Forum pages or going to socials or clubs? Yes, it may sound tedious to some, but it is a case of getting yourself "Noticed!!" In the long run, it works!
But if all you do is sit at your PC, churning out messages and nowt else, no-one will come to you!
One last point; if you keep your Profile as it is now, it sends out all the wrong messages, and everyone will pass you by and move on elsewhere to find someone who does put in an effort!
It will never be easy, but if you put in the effort, you can reap rewards.
Good Luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Us fat guys try to make up for lack of looks with personality, looks alone won't get you far just as having a big cock won't get your far, my misses says a cock is just a cock until you meet the person behind it, put some of your personality into your profile and less vanity |
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Moan moan moan, plus knocking everyone else here... not attractive.
'51 on blocklist, says it all...' yes it does really...
No one here can help you. YOU need to figure what's wrong. Attitude ajustment and lack of negativity might _just_ be a start. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok....thankyou for the constructive, and less constructive advice.
the profile has no veri's and says what it says as i deleted it all because i was so pissed off--so, before- it was positive, had smiley face pics, etc.
tried it and still didn't work.
cheers anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey ease off him people. I say carry on as you are because at least people won't have to wait until later to find out that your definition of genuine comes from a dictionary we are all too well versed in reading.
Makes my life, and every other guy with an actual personality's life much more enjoyable on here.
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