Here goes so we are active members of clubs and socials, we chat to others and feel we connect but of late not been able to move onto the physical side of things.
question is really how do you instigate moving from talk to play really think we're doing something wrong |
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You aren't, it can be a slow process and you need to feel right. Communication is key, let them know you haven't full swapped yet and start with something simple like stroking, kissing and take frequent breaks to touch your partner and have eye contact. If it doesn't feel right don't push yourself or each other. Feel free to play with yourselves, or watch the other couple play and touch them. You will be ready when you are ready and nobody should make you feel bad, or guilt you into anything. We have guided first timers and it's a beautiful thing to see it happen. |
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Oh we've full swapped plenty of times in the past just feels like we're not able to get past talking at the minute and it's no like we're saying no or one of us not feeling it just not sure what's going on |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
Yeah, probably just a run of bad luck. Maybe it's a sightly different experience to that of a single guy, but I had probably five or six club visits in a row which just went nowhere, and was starting to wonder the same thing, then went three times last week and had three absolutely wonderful night, in both a socialising and playing sense. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Oh we've full swapped plenty of times in the past just feels like we're not able to get past talking at the minute and it's no like we're saying no or one of us not feeling it just not sure what's going on "
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I get you about getting nowhere in Fab but how about clubs? Also plenty of conversation there, but no action?
Couples sometimes choose potential play partners in clubs and parties doing the same things over and over, and filtering the same ways, maybe you are one of those couples (we are), so sometimes we end up chatting for a long time to couples that are just happy to talk, but want no action. They might like talking to you for a long time, because you are very nice and sociable.
Try to drag the conversation into swinging common interests, all if they play in clubs, be more direct about how you two want playing that day, or politely cut your losses and move on if the couple is not too interested in playing.
Difficult to say without knowing more how you go about in clubs. |
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A story as old as time it's self. We're totally guilty of the same. I think sometimes you just need to be a bit brave if you want something to happen. You can't rely on the other people because chances are (in our experience) they are just as rubbish as you at taking it to the next stage. So sometimes you just have to risk it and be OK with the small possibility of rejection. Just be a little blunt and say something like shall we take this to a room? Or simply say can we kiss or something like that first? Chances are (again in our experience) they are totally up for it and likewise been waiting for someone to push the next step. And if for some reason your wrong what have you lost? Why are you at a club in the first place anyways. Yes the social side is important but you're also looking to fulfil your desires. And that ain't going to happen unless you chance things a little. |
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"I think that's exactly what's going on we're to chatty and not being blunt enough when we want something "
omebody just needs to say something to get it going. This happens a lot at clubs and parties where lots of people get caught in stalemate nobody wanting to make the first move. All it takes is a couple of people to get going and all changes. I get bored chatting after a while so and can't help myself from saying something  Or don't say much and just start getting touchy feely or move in for a snog if the vibe feels right. (And I'm talking wearing my couples hat with partner) |
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By *p4fun60Couple
over a year ago
Hampshire |
I had to smile to myself when I read this as you'd be surprised at how often it happens - realistically we're all in a club for pretty much the same reason so it shouldn't be that hard to instigate a chat into a playdate, perhaps it's the fear of rejection or shyness,tbh I'm not too sure, I know with us we have to be physically attracted to the other couple & not just a notch on the bedpost so to speak- so now if we're chatting to a couple that one of us just isn't feeling we'll actually say " anyway so nice chatting but we really need to have a walk around & perhaps we'll catch up later" rather than wasting an entire evening just chatting-one of the first topics of conversation we have is about dynamics, what are we all wanting or hoping to get from this club visit- if we're both really interested we'll say "well we're going off for a play/swim etc & would you like to join us?" & just take it from there, once you've taken the bull by the horns so to speak a couple of times it just becomes natural, regardless of if we play or not we never go with expectations but just to enjoy ourselves, if that's with another couple then great, but we've also had some fantastic non play nights as well- good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a club I tend to just be quite tactile if I'm interested, not gropey lol, I suppose just a super flirt  .
I can be forward if I think they're interested but unsure of they should take the plunge and ask me ha. |
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"In a club I tend to just be quite tactile if I'm interested, not gropey lol, I suppose just a super flirt .
I can be forward if I think they're interested but unsure of they should take the plunge and ask me ha. "
That is a great approach. Actually get the same with private group meets. Went to one gathering of six at somebody's house a few months ago and all sitting on sofa chatting for two hours and incredibly awkward despite some having played together. Another one more recently and it was all subtly touch feely by everbody from the start. |
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"I think that's exactly what's going on we're to chatty and not being blunt enough when we want something "
Well now we know, if you both start getting too chatty, we'll just suggest getting naked in one of the alcoves or the couples room. Deal? |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
If we want to play with a couple and chat is going well we just let them know we're off to the play rooms and hopefully we'll see them there. Then the ball is in their court without pressure.
Mrs M |
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