Im autistic and wondering how many others on here are too...
In real life I'm hopeless at spotting when women are interested in me. To the point where they've thought im arrogant and stuck up...
In reality I'm probably just trying not to say anything too disconnected or weird that it never even occurs to me...
Anyone else here because of similar reasons?
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Same. I'm lucky in the capacity that I have a good woman who understands me. She helps point me in the right direction and is great at breaking the ice and showcasing my qualities to others who may not know how to take me at first. Which is helpful because she has matchmaked me with women who she can see fancy me, who I've been totally obvious to. It's so frustrating because you know once you get to know someone a bit and comfortable with them you'll be fine and you're actually great guy.
However I started on here as a single guy and am sometimes lone in a club environment. Truth is I'm not that great. However practice and exposure is the best pill for it. Pushing your comfort zone and putting yourself out there despite your anxiety. You won't always get it right and you'll drop plenty of social Clangers. However you do get better and more at ease with it with more practice and are exposured. It's always going to be more difficult than for many other people but it is what it is and that is the best you can do.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on the spectrum too.
I just tend to be upfront and to the point if needed and ask them if they're interested in me or not, either before or during conversation. I think being upfront can be seen as having confidence because you are speaking you're mind, so as long as you're not being cocky, rude or hurting anyone then what's the issue with it?
Also as the second commenter said, we need to find a way to step out of our comfort zone and get comfortable in clubs or other environments where we have a higher opportunity for interaction with others. I deal with heightened anxiety as well, but I don't think it's as severe as some others out there who also have it, so got to be grateful for that and make the most of what I've got.
I'm a bit of a nudist and so... not that swinging/sex and nudism is connected, but there are places I can go to interact with others who also get involved in the nudist lifestyle and that then helps with, not only my social skills but with being relaxed around others naked whilst they are naked too.
Hope this gives a little spark of insight and understanding and something you can take away from this in a way that helps you in some way 
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There are a lot of us here with neuro diverse leanings of many types, including ASD. We've chatted on a few threads, the last one is here -
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1447141
Many people, including club owners, are supportive and wish us to get the most from our lives, including swinging. |
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