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Pushy Single Guys
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On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth! |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
Oh shit that is terrible. Not seen anything that but tend to go to places where not many single men. I get the frustration if mega horny after hours getting turned on and nothing happening but just no excuse for that ever. What happened when you started raging? |
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Best to lay out the rules b4 hand EG, "when I/we say no it means, NO."
Who was saying no, you or mrs or both? For this very reason it is best to make clear that a "no" by anyone one of you two means NO |
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just to add that all sensible people would take note bu it never hurts to make it clear, reenforce the NO stance as many get carried away - its not right but in order not to end up in a postion like that again, set boundaries be very clear
o our meets we set clear rules/boundaries men will try but a polite no from mrs moes them from that area |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus christ. I had to be firm with a couple of guys on Friday but nothing like that has ever happened to me thank god.
That is absolutely vile, they should have their membership revoked. Really not cool, consent is everything. |
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"just to add that all sensible people would take note bu it never hurts to make it clear, reenforce the NO stance as many get carried away - its not right but in order not to end up in a postion like that again, set boundaries be very clear
o our meets we set clear rules/boundaries men will try but a polite no from mrs moes them from that area"
Ummm did you not read the original post, it is pretty clear NO was said multiple times, and if it was in a club, guys should understand the etiquette too. Saying NO once should have been enough, and to add insult to injury, this guy sought to have unprotected sex! |
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Hubby always stands guard in a group situation and despite him making the ground rules very clear, there have still been guys who try it on.
You showed commendable restraint, and if it was in a club setting, then hopefully a complaint will get this chancer banned. |
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Using reasonable physical force would be completely acceptable in this instance as what he was trying to do was to r@pe her.
I hope he's got a lifetime ban. If not please name and shame the club for allowing such people to remain members. |
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"just to add that all sensible people would take note bu it never hurts to make it clear, reenforce the NO stance as many get carried away - its not right but in order not to end up in a postion like that again, set boundaries be very clear
o our meets we set clear rules/boundaries men will try but a polite no from mrs moes them from that area
Ummm did you not read the original post, it is pretty clear NO was said multiple times, and if it was in a club, guys should understand the etiquette too. Saying NO once should have been enough, and to add insult to injury, this guy sought to have unprotected sex!"
Urmmmm I did and did you read my post?
It never hurts to emphasie the rules in things like this and if that is the case, you can tell them to leave the first time they ignore About tell them to leave rules and confirming they understand accept that b4 hand and the emphasis on the o rule just reinforces what most people know anyway but as per op's post, this bloke was trying it on.
It is up to those reading if they want to practive what I've posted as we sure do and thankfully so far avvoddied this
I guess the nearest we came to it, remotely close to it was on a beach where I was touching my wife and fingering her when one came very close and we just stopped and he walked away to several feet away and noted that we would not put up with it. When he was back in his dune we carried on and went all the way and 5/7 guys watch, did what they needed to and stood their distance,
We all have expereinces and what works for one may not necessarily work for the other but this forum is here to share thoughts etc and not everyone has to agree with them
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"just to add that all sensible people would take note bu it never hurts to make it clear, reenforce the NO stance as many get carried away - its not right but in order not to end up in a postion like that again, set boundaries be very clear
o our meets we set clear rules/boundaries men will try but a polite no from mrs moes them from that area
Ummm did you not read the original post, it is pretty clear NO was said multiple times, and if it was in a club, guys should understand the etiquette too. Saying NO once should have been enough, and to add insult to injury, this guy sought to have unprotected sex!
Urmmmm I did and did you read my post?
It never hurts to emphasie the rules in things like this and if that is the case, you can tell them to leave the first time they ignore About tell them to leave rules and confirming they understand accept that b4 hand and the emphasis on the o rule just reinforces what most people know anyway but as per op's post, this bloke was trying it on.
It is up to those reading if they want to practive what I've posted as we sure do and thankfully so far avvoddied this
I guess the nearest we came to it, remotely close to it was on a beach where I was touching my wife and fingering her when one came very close and we just stopped and he walked away to several feet away and noted that we would not put up with it. When he was back in his dune we carried on and went all the way and 5/7 guys watch, did what they needed to and stood their distance,
We all have expereinces and what works for one may not necessarily work for the other but this forum is here to share thoughts etc and not everyone has to agree with them
"
.
Your original post read as if you were being critical of the OP, condescending even, and yes I did read it, in fact I read both of them. |
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It’s another do some people realise that it’s a swingers site ? Club? Not a sex club ? and that the rules or at least the respect of people to enjoy themselves in the way they enjoy without any interference from anyone unless invited is a basic ask ?
I hope I’ve got the club bit right still to go but would have thought that’s a basic rule ?? |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
Omg that's horrific but I'm glad you noticed.
I've read about this so much and I really appreciate people posting it. Sad to say but it's what's putting me off visiting a club. I've been invited bu lovely people but I don't have the trust with them yet that they would protect me the way you protected your partner.
May I ask what the club did to deal with this person? I'd getting the feeling it's to be expected as they have paid more to be there. |
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We've had this in clubs & dogging. Mr is quite good at spotting and a firm 'no' normally dose the trick. On occasion other men have stepped in and said' you've already been told no'. Or just last week, another chap told another, ' no need to push and barge in, your get your invite if you do it properly'. Needless to say it was an oldie, telling a youngster.
You just have to watch and be firm fair and polight. Your rules. If not, the legs close and they get nothing.
The regualars and old skool will out them. If it spoils their chances, of a look in. They won't let others behave in such a way and spoil it. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
That is disgraceful behaviour. I was once with a FB. I was giving him a BJ with my ass in the air in what started as an empty room. Unknown to me we pulled quite a crowd and he was uncomfortable as the guys were getting closer. He manovered me out of there reach. That taught me a lesson about how to position myself on a bed in a public play space as I love being watched but won't tolerate being touched by randos. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"That is disgraceful behaviour. I was once with a FB. I was giving him a BJ with my ass in the air in what started as an empty room. Unknown to me we pulled quite a crowd and he was uncomfortable as the guys were getting closer. He manovered me out of there reach. That taught me a lesson about how to position myself on a bed in a public play space as I love being watched but won't tolerate being touched by randos."
*their reach. Apologies! |
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Just to clarify, being a few people asked, around location.
I didn’t mention that it was a club environment as I didn’t believe it to be relevant to be honest. I also didn’t want anyone associating any particular club with the behaviour of one individual. The club were brilliant as always and as I understand it have dealt with the individual.
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By *enk15Man
over a year ago
Evesham |
"Just to clarify, being a few people asked, around location.
I didn’t mention that it was a club environment as I didn’t believe it to be relevant to be honest. I also didn’t want anyone associating any particular club with the behaviour of one individual. The club were brilliant as always and as I understand it have dealt with the individual.
"
Glad to hear they have taken action. Hopefully it is a lifetime ban because, from the sounds of it, that individual shouldn't be anywhere near a club. |
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We have been in this situation, happily enjoying a group of guys watching us fuck when one guy who had been told a few times that we don’t do full swap, rubbed his bare cock against her pussy… fortunately, the other 6 guys in the room took care of him and he was ejected with some considerable force… failing that, a short sharp “ if your dick goes near me again, I’ll bite it off” gets the message across! |
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"Jesus christ. I had to be firm with a couple of guys on Friday but nothing like that has ever happened to me thank god.
That is absolutely vile, they should have their membership revoked. Really not cool, consent is everything. "
Membership revoked and their liberty too. Thats a police matter whatever the situation |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
It goes without saying what happened to you is disgusting. We actually had a guy who we'd agreed to play with who was about to enter bare. We learnt from it as we hadn't discussed boundaries before going in a room (we've learnt so much on our swinging journey). Personally we only play in a lockable playroom with who we've already agreed to play with (after a chat how we're going to play). We'd advise you to go in a lockable playroom with who you've agreed to play with, or unfortunately your experience is likely to be repeated (and you say "yet another incident"). Lockable voyeur rooms are great for being watched and always attract a crowd. Everybody should only need to be told no once, but unfortunately there's always going to be numpties who just don't get it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
I would have had him pinned against the wall and dam sure he never returned but not before he apologised for the disrespect |
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Funnily we were only saying at weekend , we still ask and check everyone is ok
And thats with long term fab friends
You never know how people may be feeling on the night
I mr j would say to a pushy guy , were ok etc
And god help them if mrs j has to say something
Ive often thought public shaming at the bar would work well
You could say hows it going ? Etc
Oh hang on , aren't you the pushy single guy who tried to enter ny wife bareback , after she said no
Not in a shouty way , but just loud enough for people in the social area to hear your comments
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Using reasonable physical force would be completely acceptable in this instance as what he was trying to do was to r@pe her.
I hope he's got a lifetime ban. If not please name and shame the club for allowing such people to remain members. "
__
Totally this. Thought the same. This was attempted r@pe. |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
I was spanking Mrs M in the bandage room of a club, there were 3 single guys stood in the doorway watching, playing with themselves under their chavvy grey sweat shorts. One said to his mates "I'm gonna fuck her tonight", I looked at him and said no you're not. That was all it needed.
On other occasions, Mrs m has felt uncomfortable with guys getting close, and she doesn't hold back with vile language directed at them, that's when they get the message.
Luckily the club we were in sorted them out (ejected) and banned them.
Club staff are brilliant and if anything untoward happens they should be told at the first opportunity. No club wants a bad name. |
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"Using reasonable physical force would be completely acceptable in this instance as what he was trying to do was to r@pe her.
I hope he's got a lifetime ban. If not please name and shame the club for allowing such people to remain members.
__
Totally this. Thought the same. This was attempted r@pe."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not gonna lie. I would have thrown the cunt through the wall. I have a lot of self restraint but once you cross that boundary. I will make sure it will be a lesson you'll remember for the rest of your life.
Our first club experience was slightly ruined by one of the member of the wanking dead association. Stood so close that the Mrs could smell him.
Glad clubs are quick to deal with issues like this.
Majority of the time we don't even mind if you stand and enjoy yourself within a respectable distance. If only they realised that they'd probably get some if not so pushy. Damn.. |
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"Jesus christ. I had to be firm with a couple of guys on Friday but nothing like that has ever happened to me thank god.
That is absolutely vile, they should have their membership revoked. Really not cool, consent is everything.
Membership revoked and their liberty too. Thats a police matter whatever the situation"
I’m afraid that’s crossed a line, and I agree, he’s very lucky not to be in a custody suite. |
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"This is one of many horror stories we've heard of in club settings and is exactly what puts us off attending. I hope you and your partner are okay, you did well not to knock him out!
D x"
We've heard many horror stories of private meets also. It's about being savvy in club's, which comes with experience. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
That’s terrible, did you report him to security and subsequently the police because that’s attempted r..e. If there were around 4 guys watching that means there are around 3 guys who witnessed you saying no 3 times and him trying anyway. Sorry if this is a silly question to ask, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t report it to the police if someone so blatantly attempted such a heinous crime with 3 witnesses. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
is he on here if he is i hope via word of mouth that you let as many people know as poss word of mouth not via open forum as what he attempted to do is vile..
i never play without someone keeping a eye out normally cuck or a boyfriend im always loud and clear to those whom ive zero interest in if they ask again ill get the club involved most clubs will deal with asap ... ive only ever had problems in clubs with male halfs of couples normally the wives are playing else where leaving the male half thinking hes entitled else where they are for me the worse ..... i would take a guy all the way if he as much as touched me after saying no or worse not asking at all ... men like this are vile scum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Using reasonable physical force would be completely acceptable in this instance as what he was trying to do was to r@pe her.
I hope he's got a lifetime ban. If not please name and shame the club for allowing such people to remain members. "
Very much this!!! |
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I have seen a couple of guys have to be told not to touch a couple of times and it being firm as they obviously didn’t listen the first time. But nothing like that. As a guy if I was watching I’d have something to say if another bloke tried it on.
I’m glad the club dealt with him. I’ve often seen people getting shown around at various clubs and told to tell the staff if there’s any hassle.
I think the thing that shocks me the most is that someone tried to do this without any protection.
I’m assuming it was a club where some or a limited number of single guys are allowed in, but doesn’t necessarily require them to be a member. I would guess that if you had to be members then maybe they are vetted more, and always may think that they may have their membership revoked. |
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"I have seen a couple of guys have to be told not to touch a couple of times and it being firm as they obviously didn’t listen the first time. But nothing like that. As a guy if I was watching I’d have something to say if another bloke tried it on.
I’m glad the club dealt with him. I’ve often seen people getting shown around at various clubs and told to tell the staff if there’s any hassle.
I think the thing that shocks me the most is that someone tried to do this without any protection.
I’m assuming it was a club where some or a limited number of single guys are allowed in, but doesn’t necessarily require them to be a member. I would guess that if you had to be members then maybe they are vetted more, and always may think that they may have their membership revoked. "
Whilst I agree with your points in general I would never apportion any blame on a club or their entrance policies for the behaviour of individuals. There is a level of decency and respect that should come naturally regardless of location.
We have seen similar, entitled behaviour in a club with strict entrance and membership criteria too.
Maybe it’s us, maybe we play in such an open and exhibitionist manner that guys see it as open play. My wife is also quite naturally submissive which may be read as welcoming. Perhaps we need to rethink what we do. |
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"I have seen a couple of guys have to be told not to touch a couple of times and it being firm as they obviously didn’t listen the first time. But nothing like that. As a guy if I was watching I’d have something to say if another bloke tried it on.
I’m glad the club dealt with him. I’ve often seen people getting shown around at various clubs and told to tell the staff if there’s any hassle.
I think the thing that shocks me the most is that someone tried to do this without any protection.
I’m assuming it was a club where some or a limited number of single guys are allowed in, but doesn’t necessarily require them to be a member. I would guess that if you had to be members then maybe they are vetted more, and always may think that they may have their membership revoked.
Whilst I agree with your points in general I would never apportion any blame on a club or their entrance policies for the behaviour of individuals. There is a level of decency and respect that should come naturally regardless of location.
We have seen similar, entitled behaviour in a club with strict entrance and membership criteria too.
Maybe it’s us, maybe we play in such an open and exhibitionist manner that guys see it as open play. My wife is also quite naturally submissive which may be read as welcoming. Perhaps we need to rethink what we do."
Yes, unfortunately some people (men, normally) seem to think that, just because they are in a swingers club, they are entitled to sex.
Me and my partner did not have anything as bad as you describe, but lately, on two visits to the same club, I had people disrespect my personal space by bumping into me on a play bed despite there being plenty of other space available. One was a woman, she just decided to suck a cock of a TV sitting on the play bed not far from us but at still respectable distance. The woman just disregarded the fact I was on the same bed further up, playing, and just pushed in.
Another situation- different bed but similar story. I've just finished playing with my partner on a bed but we were both recovering. Suddenly, a guy's arse needed up bumping hard onto the back of me while he was getting his cock sucked. Again, he did not need to end up in my personal space as there was play room available elsewhere.
Now me and my partner, we decided to play in lockable rooms only next time we go to a club. As at least there we're guaranteed nobody would bump into us. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
it gets said but not often enough to swing you need thick skin you need to be blunt and firm and take no shit that way they wont walk all over you ... these people who think they are untouchable target the soft or the new the do so as the belive you wont want a scene ... when we talk to new couples and women and men we tell them being soft gets you nowhere on this scene ...
there are many entitled women and worse d*unk women who think there shit dont stink ... there are entitled couples too who think they ARE the scene therefore the rules dont apply to them ,,, male halfs of couples are by far the worse men in clubs sly entitled where rules do apply to them ... finally single men lets be honest its not all ... the wanking dead are normally regulars whom for what ever reason the clubs dont pull to one side and talk to ... newbies are not told whats acceptable they should told whats what and hopw to behave thankfully most newbie men get it or they follow the wanking dead`
one thing i cant stress enough is if some one does wrong it should never be brushed under the carpet it should be dealt with there and then everytime those of you who turn a blind eye or cant be done with the hassle are a big big part of the problem..
be proud confident blunt and to the point then you'll enjoy the scene
|
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"I was spanking Mrs M in the bandage room of a club, there were 3 single guys stood in the doorway watching, playing with themselves under their chavvy grey sweat shorts. One said to his mates "I'm gonna fuck her tonight", I looked at him and said no you're not. That was all it needed.
On other occasions, Mrs m has felt uncomfortable with guys getting close, and she doesn't hold back with vile language directed at them, that's when they get the message.
Luckily the club we were in sorted them out (ejected) and banned them.
Club staff are brilliant and if anything untoward happens they should be told at the first opportunity. No club wants a bad name."
Unfortunately not all clubs are so quick to act. My friend was sexually assaulted at a club and the perpetrator was back there a week later, even though the club was made perfectly aware of what happened. I will never attend there again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"it gets said but not often enough to swing you need thick skin you need to be blunt and firm and take no shit that way they wont walk all over you ... these people who think they are untouchable target the soft or the new the do so as the belive you wont want a scene ... when we talk to new couples and women and men we tell them being soft gets you nowhere on this scene ...
there are many entitled women and worse d*unk women who think there shit dont stink ... there are entitled couples too who think they ARE the scene therefore the rules dont apply to them ,,, male halfs of couples are by far the worse men in clubs sly entitled where rules do apply to them ... finally single men lets be honest its not all ... the wanking dead are normally regulars whom for what ever reason the clubs dont pull to one side and talk to ... newbies are not told whats acceptable they should told whats what and hopw to behave thankfully most newbie men get it or they follow the wanking dead`
one thing i cant stress enough is if some one does wrong it should never be brushed under the carpet it should be dealt with there and then everytime those of you who turn a blind eye or cant be done with the hassle are a big big part of the problem..
be proud confident blunt and to the point then you'll enjoy the scene
"
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
I nearly lost my shit with a bloke in a party the other day. Very clearly and loudly "I've told you once to move back, any more pissing about and we'll have a word with the staff"
Unfortunately all too common for men (never seen it with women) to get uncomfortably close without any kind of consent. They usually get loudly told by one or other of us
G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just to clarify, being a few people asked, around location.
I didn’t mention that it was a club environment as I didn’t believe it to be relevant to be honest. I also didn’t want anyone associating any particular club with the behaviour of one individual. The club were brilliant as always and as I understand it have dealt with the individual.
"
Amazing I am very glad that they did. |
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" your fucking in front of an audience ? you can do that at home ?
sounds like your boasting ???"
Erm... Have you ever heard of exhibitionists, by any chance? Yes, I can fuck at home, with my partner or my FB. However, I do like being watched, and sometimes even be joined by respectful others. |
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I don't go to many clubs but it's pretty much signed and mentioned everywhere that No means No.
I don't think I'd even ask if I was in a situation where everyone was enjoying it.
Basic respect should always be the most important thing I'd say.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Best to lay out the rules b4 hand EG, "when I/we say no it means, NO."
Who was saying no, you or mrs or both? For this very reason it is best to make clear that a "no" by anyone one of you two means NO"
Not sure it matters if both are saying no. No from either should be taken as a Hard NO.
I also think there's no need for ground rules regarding no.
It's universally understood. NO.
Attempting to continue undetected after a no is terrible, attempting to do so without protection should be a crime tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry this happened OP ..the offender should have been laid out flat ...
this is my fear as a single lady going to a club ...I envision the same overly eager and vile behavior I get in my inbox to translate to in person....
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"Best to lay out the rules b4 hand EG, "when I/we say no it means, NO."
Who was saying no, you or mrs or both? For this very reason it is best to make clear that a "no" by anyone one of you two means NO
Not sure it matters if both are saying no. No from either should be taken as a Hard NO.
I also think there's no need for ground rules regarding no.
It's universally understood. NO.
Attempting to continue undetected after a no is terrible, attempting to do so without protection should be a crime tbh."
Is a crime on both counts I believe |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
Had people knocking on door thats anoying . Once was with a couple we blocked the door as we didnt want a guy to rejoin he forced the door open . |
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" your fucking in front of an audience ? you can do that at home ?
sounds like your boasting ???"
You're missing the point. Some people, us included, like to be watched it adds to the moment. Some people, usually
well behaved, enjoy watching. Clubs are ideal settings for this. Not everyone wants to invite loads of people to their home.
But "No" always means no. The couple in question set the boundaries not those watching. |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"I was spanking Mrs M in the bandage room of a club, there were 3 single guys stood in the doorway watching, playing with themselves under their chavvy grey sweat shorts. One said to his mates "I'm gonna fuck her tonight", I looked at him and said no you're not. That was all it needed.
On other occasions, Mrs m has felt uncomfortable with guys getting close, and she doesn't hold back with vile language directed at them, that's when they get the message.
Luckily the club we were in sorted them out (ejected) and banned them.
Club staff are brilliant and if anything untoward happens they should be told at the first opportunity. No club wants a bad name.
Unfortunately not all clubs are so quick to act. My friend was sexually assaulted at a club and the perpetrator was back there a week later, even though the club was made perfectly aware of what happened. I will never attend there again"
Sorry to hear that. Sounds like the police should have definitely been called, and the staff who let him back in should have been severely reprimanded/sacked.
There are absolutely no grey areas in this lifestyle, no means no. |
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And taking it back to basics it should always be an assumed NO anyway unless you have given or received specific consent.
Thankfully other than the odd non requested slap on the bum or the odd foot or knee in the face (well the bed had about 20 people on it lol) we haven't really had any similar issues.
A polite and firm back off does the job. Or a pause in proceedings and a glare!
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It's the total lack of respect and the inability to get the message with some people. Often and worse they get the message but play dumb on it like they don't know they're doing wrong. It can really taint a good night. But unfortunately some people prioritise their push for gratification over the wishes, feelings and safety of others.
It's unfortunately a fairly common experience. Only the other night My other half was telling me about a guy she had to tell 4 times in the club (I was entertaning elsewhere in the club at the time). She was having a moment with a guy she really liked and been talking to a good part of the night in an open area. There were some other guys around watching playing with themselves. She liked that around her but it was only guy she was playing with that she wanted to play with. Now she totally understands guys wanting to get in on it and making a move. That's fine, nothing was stated and nobody is a mind reader. However this one guy put a hand on her. Now consent is not always verbal but in context she did not give him any find of eye contact or indication non verbally so he should have asked. Anyway he didn't ask and touched her and she took his hand and moved it away. Clearly I think anyone would understand this action means she's not intrested. Three more times he tried FFS. The last time she was very forceful moving his hand away and he didn't try again. She was just trying to enjoy herself. She didn't mind so much the first time but get the fucking message. Why should she, the guy she's with and the other respectful guys enjoying have their time ruined by one selfish knob who is persistently chancing his gratification over that of others. It's a annoying aspect of club life.
That was the most recent experience but there sadly has been more and worse in past. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Just been reading a thread that was started by one half of a couple that like to be watched asking for advice regarding the best options and places to go where they can be watched, but they don’t want anyone to join in with them. After reading this thread previously I was surprised to read the posts in that thread that completely contradict the posts in this thread. All the replies, apart from one, say that people in clubs are respectful and won’t join in when a couple says they want to play on their own. Also, most of the replies talk about clubs having rooms that can be locked but they have windows for people to see what’s happening in the room, so couples can go in there and have people watch them play together without any risk of anyone trying to join in.
Left me feeling a bit confused as there are now 2 threads that give completely opposing impressions of what it’s like for a couple who want to play at a club with people watching them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been reading a thread that was started by one half of a couple that like to be watched asking for advice regarding the best options and places to go where they can be watched, but they don’t want anyone to join in with them. After reading this thread previously I was surprised to read the posts in that thread that completely contradict the posts in this thread. All the replies, apart from one, say that people in clubs are respectful and won’t join in when a couple says they want to play on their own. Also, most of the replies talk about clubs having rooms that can be locked but they have windows for people to see what’s happening in the room, so couples can go in there and have people watch them play together without any risk of anyone trying to join in.
Left me feeling a bit confused as there are now 2 threads that give completely opposing impressions of what it’s like for a couple who want to play at a club with people watching them. "
People have different experiences. It depends on the type of people in the club.
Some will be respectful and some won't. Men and women touch without asking. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Just been reading a thread that was started by one half of a couple that like to be watched asking for advice regarding the best options and places to go where they can be watched, but they don’t want anyone to join in with them. After reading this thread previously I was surprised to read the posts in that thread that completely contradict the posts in this thread. All the replies, apart from one, say that people in clubs are respectful and won’t join in when a couple says they want to play on their own. Also, most of the replies talk about clubs having rooms that can be locked but they have windows for people to see what’s happening in the room, so couples can go in there and have people watch them play together without any risk of anyone trying to join in.
Left me feeling a bit confused as there are now 2 threads that give completely opposing impressions of what it’s like for a couple who want to play at a club with people watching them.
People have different experiences. It depends on the type of people in the club.
Some will be respectful and some won't. Men and women touch without asking. "
Just confusing as everyone posting in this thread have had bad experiences and everyone posting in the other thread have had good experiences… |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Just been reading a thread that was started by one half of a couple that like to be watched asking for advice regarding the best options and places to go where they can be watched, but they don’t want anyone to join in with them. After reading this thread previously I was surprised to read the posts in that thread that completely contradict the posts in this thread. All the replies, apart from one, say that people in clubs are respectful and won’t join in when a couple says they want to play on their own. Also, most of the replies talk about clubs having rooms that can be locked but they have windows for people to see what’s happening in the room, so couples can go in there and have people watch them play together without any risk of anyone trying to join in.
Left me feeling a bit confused as there are now 2 threads that give completely opposing impressions of what it’s like for a couple who want to play at a club with people watching them. "
__
I was posting on that thread you mentioned. Clubs do have rooms you can lock and stay private and cosy and safe, with windows where others can look in from the outside.
Here, the OP chose to play in a club in an open area because they fancy others looking at them and being horny and wanking and they get horny in turn if that's happening around them. It's their choice and should be respected, whether that's a door or not. The difference is that if there's a door that's a physical barrier the wankers must stay behind
In the case of the OP is not exciting enough if the play begins a close door.
The point of this thread is that even without a door or physical barrier, no one should touch without consent.
So as a couple. you can choose to be behind a locked door or not. Your choice. But onlookers do not have a choice. No means no, door or no door.
Does this clarify? |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Just been reading a thread that was started by one half of a couple that like to be watched asking for advice regarding the best options and places to go where they can be watched, but they don’t want anyone to join in with them. After reading this thread previously I was surprised to read the posts in that thread that completely contradict the posts in this thread. All the replies, apart from one, say that people in clubs are respectful and won’t join in when a couple says they want to play on their own. Also, most of the replies talk about clubs having rooms that can be locked but they have windows for people to see what’s happening in the room, so couples can go in there and have people watch them play together without any risk of anyone trying to join in.
Left me feeling a bit confused as there are now 2 threads that give completely opposing impressions of what it’s like for a couple who want to play at a club with people watching them.
__
I was posting on that thread you mentioned. Clubs do have rooms you can lock and stay private and cosy and safe, with windows where others can look in from the outside.
Here, the OP chose to play in a club in an open area because they fancy others looking at them and being horny and wanking and they get horny in turn if that's happening around them. It's their choice and should be respected, whether that's a door or not. The difference is that if there's a door that's a physical barrier the wankers must stay behind
In the case of the OP is not exciting enough if the play begins a close door.
The point of this thread is that even without a door or physical barrier, no one should touch without consent.
So as a couple. you can choose to be behind a locked door or not. Your choice. But onlookers do not have a choice. No means no, door or no door.
Does this clarify?"
Yes, thanks for clarifying. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
I guess you've never been to a swingers club before? We do not get aroused by others watching us having sex but many couples do love it. So they prefer to go to clubs on days when single men are allowed, to have an audience. All clubs have open areas to play and lockable rooms, but many love the thrill of having people looking very close when they are playing. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I guess you've never been to a swingers club before? We do not get aroused by others watching us having sex but many couples do love it. So they prefer to go to clubs on days when single men are allowed, to have an audience. All clubs have open areas to play and lockable rooms, but many love the thrill of having people looking very close when they are playing."
No, I’ve never been to one before which is why I was so confused by the opposing impressions that were given on the 2 threads. |
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
"I guess you've never been to a swingers club before? We do not get aroused by others watching us having sex but many couples do love it. So they prefer to go to clubs on days when single men are allowed, to have an audience. All clubs have open areas to play and lockable rooms, but many love the thrill of having people looking very close when they are playing.
No, I’ve never been to one before which is why I was so confused by the opposing impressions that were given on the 2 threads. "
We've played in public areas but if anyone gets to close to us without asking, we'll say and stop playing. Most people in most clubs are respectful. But some aren't. And some clubs are probably less good at policing than others.
G |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I guess you've never been to a swingers club before? We do not get aroused by others watching us having sex but many couples do love it. So they prefer to go to clubs on days when single men are allowed, to have an audience. All clubs have open areas to play and lockable rooms, but many love the thrill of having people looking very close when they are playing.
No, I’ve never been to one before which is why I was so confused by the opposing impressions that were given on the 2 threads.
We've played in public areas but if anyone gets to close to us without asking, we'll say and stop playing. Most people in most clubs are respectful. But some aren't. And some clubs are probably less good at policing than others.
G"
How close is too close and how do people know how close they’re allowed to get before they need to ask for permission out of interest? Is there an unwritten rule regarding it that people follow or are there official rules and guidelines? |
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
"I guess you've never been to a swingers club before? We do not get aroused by others watching us having sex but many couples do love it. So they prefer to go to clubs on days when single men are allowed, to have an audience. All clubs have open areas to play and lockable rooms, but many love the thrill of having people looking very close when they are playing.
No, I’ve never been to one before which is why I was so confused by the opposing impressions that were given on the 2 threads.
We've played in public areas but if anyone gets to close to us without asking, we'll say and stop playing. Most people in most clubs are respectful. But some aren't. And some clubs are probably less good at policing than others.
G
How close is too close and how do people know how close they’re allowed to get before they need to ask for permission out of interest? Is there an unwritten rule regarding it that people follow or are there official rules and guidelines? "
If you're too close to us, you'll know! From our point of view, if you speak to us in a social area beforehand you'll get an idea of what we're comfortable with, and if you haven't spoken before, don't plonk yourself on the same sofa and start tugging...? |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
Let's say if you are watching us in a club and wanking and you come, I do not want your spunk near me or on me. So never that close. 2 meters is as far as I would be comfortable if I don't know you. In parties, where I have met people, next to each other is fine because bed space is at a premium sometimes. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Let's say if you are watching us in a club and wanking and you come, I do not want your spunk near me or on me. So never that close. 2 meters is as far as I would be comfortable if I don't know you. In parties, where I have met people, next to each other is fine because bed space is at a premium sometimes."
So are men allowed to wank and shoot their cum on the floor in clubs? Do they have to clean it up afterwards? |
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This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed. "
So when you’re playing in a group situation does everyone have to let everyone else know at the start what their rules and limits are? And then everyone has to remember what everyone said when the play gets going? So, say if there are 5 women in the group and 3 say men have to wear a condom when they fuck them and 2 say that men don’t have to wear a condom to fuck them then the men have to remember which woman said what?
And is anyone allowed to join the group once play has started or is it limited to just the people who were there at the start? If people are allowed to join the group after play’s started then how do they know what everyone’s rules and limits are? Does someone go through it all with them or does everyone have to state their own ones again? |
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"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed.
So when you’re playing in a group situation does everyone have to let everyone else know at the start what their rules and limits are? And then everyone has to remember what everyone said when the play gets going? So, say if there are 5 women in the group and 3 say men have to wear a condom when they fuck them and 2 say that men don’t have to wear a condom to fuck them then the men have to remember which woman said what?
And is anyone allowed to join the group once play has started or is it limited to just the people who were there at the start? If people are allowed to join the group after play’s started then how do they know what everyone’s rules and limits are? Does someone go through it all with them or does everyone have to state their own ones again?"
It’s very simple. You ask before you touch someone and if you want to enter someone you ask is it ok and always assume it’s condoms unless they specifically tell you not to. There are very very few who do unprotected club group sex. The only bareback you see tends to be own partner. |
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"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed.
So when you’re playing in a group situation does everyone have to let everyone else know at the start what their rules and limits are? And then everyone has to remember what everyone said when the play gets going? So, say if there are 5 women in the group and 3 say men have to wear a condom when they fuck them and 2 say that men don’t have to wear a condom to fuck them then the men have to remember which woman said what?
And is anyone allowed to join the group once play has started or is it limited to just the people who were there at the start? If people are allowed to join the group after play’s started then how do they know what everyone’s rules and limits are? Does someone go through it all with them or does everyone have to state their own ones again?
It’s very simple. You ask before you touch someone and if you want to enter someone you ask is it ok and always assume it’s condoms unless they specifically tell you not to. There are very very few who do unprotected club group sex. The only bareback you see tends to be own partner. "
And No ALWAYS means no. Not no to everyone except you. But an absolute no. The couple will make it clear if they change their mind at any point. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed. "
So true..idiots everywhere these days.. Crazy |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed.
So when you’re playing in a group situation does everyone have to let everyone else know at the start what their rules and limits are? And then everyone has to remember what everyone said when the play gets going? So, say if there are 5 women in the group and 3 say men have to wear a condom when they fuck them and 2 say that men don’t have to wear a condom to fuck them then the men have to remember which woman said what?
And is anyone allowed to join the group once play has started or is it limited to just the people who were there at the start? If people are allowed to join the group after play’s started then how do they know what everyone’s rules and limits are? Does someone go through it all with them or does everyone have to state their own ones again?
It’s very simple. You ask before you touch someone and if you want to enter someone you ask is it ok and always assume it’s condoms unless they specifically tell you not to. There are very very few who do unprotected club group sex. The only bareback you see tends to be own partner. "
So at the start of group play no one is allowed to touch anyone because no one has asked anyone for permission, so does group play start with people going up to someone and asking for permission to touch them and then throughout people will ask other people for permission to touch them until eventually everyone has asked everyone for permission and then everyone can touch everyone? Or if you stop touching someone do you have to ask for their permission again if you want to go back to touching them again?
Do women have to ask men for their permission before they’re allowed to touch them as well? |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"This is why I tend to stick to places I know the staff and at least a few other guests. It’s the fear that some guy will try to go in unprotected when I’m busy. No matter how many times I say they need a condom there’s always some chancer who thinks that doesn’t apply to him. It can put single
ladies off getting too involved in group situations as it’s hard to relax when you don’t trust everyone present to follow the rules. But it’s happened at house parties too where I’ve had to be very firm that a condom is needed.
So when you’re playing in a group situation does everyone have to let everyone else know at the start what their rules and limits are? And then everyone has to remember what everyone said when the play gets going? So, say if there are 5 women in the group and 3 say men have to wear a condom when they fuck them and 2 say that men don’t have to wear a condom to fuck them then the men have to remember which woman said what?
And is anyone allowed to join the group once play has started or is it limited to just the people who were there at the start? If people are allowed to join the group after play’s started then how do they know what everyone’s rules and limits are? Does someone go through it all with them or does everyone have to state their own ones again?
It’s very simple. You ask before you touch someone and if you want to enter someone you ask is it ok and always assume it’s condoms unless they specifically tell you not to. There are very very few who do unprotected club group sex. The only bareback you see tends to be own partner.
So at the start of group play no one is allowed to touch anyone because no one has asked anyone for permission, so does group play start with people going up to someone and asking for permission to touch them and then throughout people will ask other people for permission to touch them until eventually everyone has asked everyone for permission and then everyone can touch everyone? Or if you stop touching someone do you have to ask for their permission again if you want to go back to touching them again?
Do women have to ask men for their permission before they’re allowed to touch them as well?"
No  |
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Group play tends to start with two couples asking each other to play. Clubs have social areas where you talk and get to know each other and socialise too not just random people fucking everywhere. People arrange to meet there beforehand. People meet existing friends. People play and invite others who are watching to join in. It can happen in a variety of ways but it evolves as you are playing. There are specific rooms in clubs just for couples where singles can’t go etc. it’s not just one big fuck fest in the middle of the room. Bigger groups normally evolve through people playing on the same bed deciding to touch and share with each other. You ask the person you are wanting to touch. |
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Women normally invite a guy over if they want to touch couples will normally have agreed rules before they even go as to how far they want to go. So they can talk to you about it if they are inviting you to join them. |
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You should never go to a club expecting to play as you may not be invited to join anyone at all. Attending a club does not guarantee anything except that you will have the chance to meet other swingers. |
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It is a shame when certain individuals feel they have the right to.behave in such a manner. In my experience most clubs are quick to deal with such behaviour if alerted.
As a single female at clubs I've been touched without permission several times by both men and women. A firm NO usually gets the message across, but I've had to physically restrain guys in the past and threaten them. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Women normally invite a guy over if they want to touch couples will normally have agreed rules before they even go as to how far they want to go. So they can talk to you about it if they are inviting you to join them. "
Simples |
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We are fortunate that this has not happened to us, had someone attempt to touch with hands once but a quick growl and "I said No' at a more than polite volume resolved. Sorry to hear this happened. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"You should never go to a club expecting to play as you may not be invited to join anyone at all. Attending a club does not guarantee anything except that you will have the chance to meet other swingers. "
Good answer to .. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"You should never go to a club expecting to play as you may not be invited to join anyone at all. Attending a club does not guarantee anything except that you will have the chance to meet other swingers. "
Genuine thank you for explaining, and I’m sorry about my flippant questions earlier in the thread. So many people here post nonsense, pretending they’ve experienced things they have clearly only fantasised about, so I tend to reply to them with an equal measure of nonsense. It’s obvious that you are talking from first hand experience so i really appreciate you sharing that with us and for taking the time to explain it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had an experience this Saturday. Guy had tried to take me off to a room about 3 times and I said no to him. Later on I went off to a room with my female friend and a guy for us to share. I was bent over eating her and I felt someone begin fingering me, I turned around and it was the guy who I had turned down 3 times. I absolutley blew my top at him!!! I was furious! He literally had just sexually assaulted me!
Fucking outrageous behaviour. I should have had him thrown out of the club but I didn't want to cause a scene. |
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"I had an experience this Saturday. Guy had tried to take me off to a room about 3 times and I said no to him. Later on I went off to a room with my female friend and a guy for us to share. I was bent over eating her and I felt someone begin fingering me, I turned around and it was the guy who I had turned down 3 times. I absolutley blew my top at him!!! I was furious! He literally had just sexually assaulted me!
Fucking outrageous behaviour. I should have had him thrown out of the club but I didn't want to cause a scene. "
Not sure I could have kept my cool, if Miss had been touched without consent I would have bounced him out the front door |
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By *antasycouple31Couple
over a year ago
Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon |
Wow some pretty shocking stories! We haven’t been to a club before, and tbh after reading the above makes me somewhat nervous the lack of respect.
For those that it happens to and don’t want to make a scene/ get them kicked out, just remember you are probably not the first that they have done that to, and probably won’t be the last, so getting them banned could help avoid someone else going through something similar in future. |
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By *ary69321Man
over a year ago
Newcastle upon tyne |
I don't know how old he was, but I think young ones think think they can do what they like, older guys have the respect to listen to the rules, if at the beginning I was told don't touch I wouldn't. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I don't know how old he was, but I think young ones think think they can do what they like, older guys have the respect to listen to the rules, if at the beginning I was told don't touch I wouldn't."
You should have known...!!
Sorry x |
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"Wow some pretty shocking stories! We haven’t been to a club before, and tbh after reading the above makes me somewhat nervous the lack of respect.
For those that it happens to and don’t want to make a scene/ get them kicked out, just remember you are probably not the first that they have done that to, and probably won’t be the last, so getting them banned could help avoid someone else going through something similar in future. "
What you've read on this thread aren't regular occurrences, more like isolated incidents. It's only the minority that don't know how to behave, just like life in general. |
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"You should never go to a club expecting to play as you may not be invited to join anyone at all. Attending a club does not guarantee anything except that you will have the chance to meet other swingers.
Genuine thank you for explaining, and I’m sorry about my flippant questions earlier in the thread. So many people here post nonsense, pretending they’ve experienced things they have clearly only fantasised about, so I tend to reply to them with an equal measure of nonsense. It’s obvious that you are talking from first hand experience so i really appreciate you sharing that with us and for taking the time to explain it. "
You are welcome.
This is a horrible but important subject but when anyone visits a club the rules are explained. I agree however with a poster above who said it is the small minority who spoil it you shouldn’t let it put you off and as you get to know people they do keep an eye out for you. Most club goers follow the rules and if anyone oversteps the mark then we should all be very vocal about calling them out to staff as it will make others think twice. I hope people do read this forum thread so that we can all adopt a zero tolerance. |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
He was going to take it regardless of the word no...thats attempted "crime"
I hope your lady is OK and not to shook up by it, did you I form the club owners so he doesn't attempt this on other women, sounds like a very dangerous man! |
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"Best to lay out the rules b4 hand EG, "when I/we say no it means, NO."
Who was saying no, you or mrs or both? For this very reason it is best to make clear that a "no" by anyone one of you two means NO"
No is always no no matter who says it and once should be enough it’s never up for debate - club rules are very clear - No means No |
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"Best to lay out the rules b4 hand EG, "when I/we say no it means, NO."
Who was saying no, you or mrs or both? For this very reason it is best to make clear that a "no" by anyone one of you two means NO
No is always no no matter who says it and once should be enough it’s never up for debate - club rules are very clear - No means No "
Not just club rules, but we’ve always thought that this was a general rule of the lifestyle wherever you are and whoever you’re with.
Sadly, from recent personal experience, too many are not abiding to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not has this with my current partner, but with an Ex.
Repeatedly told a guy no, only to find him trying to finger fuck her while I was busy elsewhere in the same room at a club.
Club staff were next to no good, so ejected him myself. Also took a bold move to report him to the police. No means no…always. No matter how much consent is being given to others. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I don't know how old he was, but I think young ones think think they can do what they like, older guys have the respect to listen to the rules, if at the beginning I was told don't touch I wouldn't."
My experience has been the opposite, actually, that younger men are far more respectful and will always ask before they touch. A lot of older men will try their luck and see if I say no instead of using their big boy words. |
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"I don't know how old he was, but I think young ones think think they can do what they like, older guys have the respect to listen to the rules, if at the beginning I was told don't touch I wouldn't.
My experience has been the opposite, actually, that younger men are far more respectful and will always ask before they touch. A lot of older men will try their luck and see if I say no instead of using their big boy words. "
I don't believe the issue can be linked to age. As personal experiences are diverse, at the end of the day, good or bad manners are a personal characteristic based on upbringing values and understanding of swinging etiquette. |
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"On Saturday night we experienced yet another incident with a pushy single guy. How many time do you have to say no to someone before they get the message.
We were playing as a couple with around 4 guys watching, which is something we enjoy. I was up at the top end leaving the lower zone vacant and about three times the same guy asked if he could get involved there. 3 times we said no. After another minute or so, whilst distracted myself, I noticed him about to enter her, completely uncovered too.
I flipped and started raging, sad to say I almost punched him but managed to keep control and just unleash verbally.
Has anyone else had this or are we just unlucky and sending out the wrong messages ? Why is it within 15 mins of closing time guys think they need to get their moneys worth!"
Yes we have had this a few times.. Different scenario but they know the boundaries before they come here... Reminded before we start and still try and push their luck.. But telling them once should be enough. |
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Incidents like this OP are what give all guys a bad rep. These are few and far between and hopefully behaviour like this is stamped out and ended with a ban, not enough to be thrown out, as you say at the end of the night guys get more chancy, as they feel they have nothing to lose.
Such the wrong way to behave, hopefully it doesn't give the image we are all like this. Majority of single guys are respectable and know the boundaries.
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"Incidents like this OP are what give all guys a bad rep. These are few and far between and hopefully behaviour like this is stamped out and ended with a ban, not enough to be thrown out, as you say at the end of the night guys get more chancy, as they feel they have nothing to lose.
Such the wrong way to behave, hopefully it doesn't give the image we are all like this. Majority of single guys are respectable and know the boundaries.
"
We certainly don’t tar all single guys with the same brush. We have had some brilliant nights with some lovely single guys in clubs. The incident won’t stop us going, we love our local venue far too much and won’t allow bell ends like that to ruin things for us. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"Wow some pretty shocking stories! We haven’t been to a club before, and tbh after reading the above makes me somewhat nervous the lack of respect.
For those that it happens to and don’t want to make a scene/ get them kicked out, just remember you are probably not the first that they have done that to, and probably won’t be the last, so getting them banned could help avoid someone else going through something similar in future. "
dont let it put you off just be mindful that these things can happen have thick skin be blunt and to the point those that abuse these rules are looking for those who are weak and say ''oh well what can i do'' just stand up for yourself your a swinger not a piece of meat both say no clearly and that should be it .... as your a couple you''ll have hubs as your eyes to go and enjoy and have fun dont allow someone to try and ruin it |
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I think like in every walk of life and experience there are sensible people, and complete idiots. Thankfully the latter are the minority.
If you haven't been to a club and are thinking about it dint let the scary stories put you off but learn from them.
I guess a couple of tips from my experience would be:-
Don't go with any expectation other than to have a chat and maybe a laugh with new friends.
Don't expect a mass orgy!
Don't get too d*unk on Dutch courage, you will only nake a fool of yourself.
Respect people and always always always ask first!
Try and go with friends who may have been before, maybe create a chat group or meet socially before hand to agree ground rules.
Don't be a twunt!
And have fun.
Simple. |
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" your fucking in front of an audience ? you can do that at home ?
sounds like your boasting ???"
Oh dear, so you must be one of these men who thinks because fucking in front of an audience gives you the right to touch or try anything with the women, you sound a tad dangerous! |
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Certain clubs are known for attracting pushy guys especially ones where no membership is required.
In our own experience where management are proactive about the way they run their club you’ll find the guys know how to behave or they’ll be out the door.
Our first ever club visit was spoilt by guys getting to close for comfort.
We’ve not been put off and are mindful about how, where and who we invite where guys are concerned.
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"I was spanking Mrs M in the bandage room of a club, there were 3 single guys stood in the doorway watching, playing with themselves under their chavvy grey sweat shorts. One said to his mates "I'm gonna fuck her tonight", I looked at him and said no you're not. That was all it needed.
On other occasions, Mrs m has felt uncomfortable with guys getting close, and she doesn't hold back with vile language directed at them, that's when they get the message.
Luckily the club we were in sorted them out (ejected) and banned them.
Club staff are brilliant and if anything untoward happens they should be told at the first opportunity. No club wants a bad name.
Unfortunately not all clubs are so quick to act. My friend was sexually assaulted at a club and the perpetrator was back there a week later, even though the club was made perfectly aware of what happened. I will never attend there again
Sorry to hear that. Sounds like the police should have definitely been called, and the staff who let him back in should have been severely reprimanded/sacked.
There are absolutely no grey areas in this lifestyle, no means no."
My understanding is the police were involved, and it was the owners that let him back in. Unforgivable behaviour. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I was spanking Mrs M in the bandage room of a club, there were 3 single guys stood in the doorway watching, playing with themselves under their chavvy grey sweat shorts. One said to his mates "I'm gonna fuck her tonight", I looked at him and said no you're not. That was all it needed.
On other occasions, Mrs m has felt uncomfortable with guys getting close, and she doesn't hold back with vile language directed at them, that's when they get the message.
Luckily the club we were in sorted them out (ejected) and banned them.
Club staff are brilliant and if anything untoward happens they should be told at the first opportunity. No club wants a bad name.
Unfortunately not all clubs are so quick to act. My friend was sexually assaulted at a club and the perpetrator was back there a week later, even though the club was made perfectly aware of what happened. I will never attend there again
Sorry to hear that. Sounds like the police should have definitely been called, and the staff who let him back in should have been severely reprimanded/sacked.
There are absolutely no grey areas in this lifestyle, no means no.
My understanding is the police were involved, and it was the owners that let him back in. Unforgivable behaviour."
Crazy..  |
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"Were in PDI and witnessed a couple playing. A random guy rocks up and then starts fingering her. She seemed more than happy.
Different cultures definitely have different expectations"
It may not have been a random guy but someone they knew/chatted with before. |
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