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Huge self confidence shutdown :o(
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but .. 
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh.. almost forgot.. I'm afraid of not being able to perform... So want to meet on a social basis first.. rather than playing on the same day as meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you maybe need to relax a bit. No one on here is perfect, no one and we all have insecurities about something. Letting it get into your head will kill things for you. You are what you are, try to accept yourself it makes such a difference. When it comes to meeting, dont think why me, think why not me ....all the best  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. You look fine. Some people fancy Brad Pitt and some don't. So don't compare yourself to him.
2. Veris are important for some people and not for others.
Fab won't boost your confidence so don't expect it to.
Chat to people you get on with, maybe have friends and don't think about more than being friends. Just chatting will help I think.
Maybe try a group social event, unless that's not your thing.
Chin up.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"1. You look fine. Some people fancy Brad Pitt and some don't. So don't compare yourself to him.
2. Veris are important for some people and not for others.
Fab won't boost your confidence so don't expect it to.
Chat to people you get on with, maybe have friends and don't think about more than being friends. Just chatting will help I think.
Maybe try a group social event, unless that's not your thing.
Chin up. "
Hiya.. again lol, yeah I'm a fekin pest haha
Yeah thanks for that.. I'll look into socials  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aww don't put yourself down, fab can be a brutal place and it isn't good to use it as a reflection of how you look or how others may perceive you.
Everyone is different and will want to seek different things from different people.
You sound like you might need to build your confidence more than anything just generally I mean.
Learn a skill or do something soley for you, that always makes me feel more confident. I suppose, I get a sense of achievement of it.
I love learning new things and I have varied interests and hobbies.
The organised socials are a nice relaxed way of meeting people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bless you, you’re all good & no different to many other guys on here. Your homemade Halloween pic is funny - maybe just smile a bit in your other pics. Good luck |
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"This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but ..
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
"
The missing bit is what happened to the three women and couple you have been chatting to?
If they have stopped the conversation chin up it happens all the time.
If you've stopped it or sort of sabotaged it because of confidence issues don't be a knob! (I mean that in a supportive blokey way )
It sounds like you are overthinking things way too much and should just go for it with somebody if the chance and get your confidence back. Is the lack of confidence in any specific? Ability to get and stay hard? Ability to act in a dominant way that I've think you've described before? |
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Fab is like a carnival mirror. It can be very easy to see a distorted image of yourself reflected back at you if you bit in good form.
Try not to measure yourself against fab and find your way into some self care
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but ..
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
The missing bit is what happened to the three women and couple you have been chatting to?
If they have stopped the conversation chin up it happens all the time.
If you've stopped it or sort of sabotaged it because of confidence issues don't be a knob! (I mean that in a supportive blokey way )
It sounds like you are overthinking things way too much and should just go for it with somebody if the chance and get your confidence back. Is the lack of confidence in any specific? Ability to get and stay hard? Ability to act in a dominant way that I've think you've described before? "
If not comfortable I can't perform.
One meet was spontaneous..
Early morning meet about 3 am
In the living
She kept running upstairs to check her child then down again..just getting started then rushing back upstairs so I left.. couldn't get hard.. was really off putting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fab is like a carnival mirror. It can be very easy to see a distorted image of yourself reflected back at you if you bit in good form.
Try not to measure yourself against fab and find your way into some self care
"
Thanks |
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"This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but ..
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
The missing bit is what happened to the three women and couple you have been chatting to?
If they have stopped the conversation chin up it happens all the time.
If you've stopped it or sort of sabotaged it because of confidence issues don't be a knob! (I mean that in a supportive blokey way )
It sounds like you are overthinking things way too much and should just go for it with somebody if the chance and get your confidence back. Is the lack of confidence in any specific? Ability to get and stay hard? Ability to act in a dominant way that I've think you've described before?
If not comfortable I can't perform.
One meet was spontaneous..
Early morning meet about 3 am
In the living
She kept running upstairs to check her child then down again..just getting started then rushing back upstairs so I left.. couldn't get hard.. was really off putting "
That's a pretty odd situation to be in. Especially if you don't know the woman quite well.
Plenty guys are like you in that they don't get hard when nervous. Just ask anyone who organises group sex parties.
It's very common. I don't find it embarrassing. I just know myself well though to know that I will always have a better time choosing people I know I'm gonna to be relaxed and have a good connection with. And the women I hang out with don't care. And when no one cares, everything functions as normal.
Maybe, like me, you need a bit more of a connection? That's a perfectly good thing to know about yourself and there are people out there looking for that too.
First is you though. You need some good karma and momentum and nothing outside of you can do that.
Put your self in the way of some good vibes. Whatever makes you feel good.
If I'm really down I'll close the curtains for two days and absolutely indulge my sorrow. There has to be an end to it though.
Next steps. Don't take on anything that requires commitment.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but ..
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
The missing bit is what happened to the three women and couple you have been chatting to?
If they have stopped the conversation chin up it happens all the time.
If you've stopped it or sort of sabotaged it because of confidence issues don't be a knob! (I mean that in a supportive blokey way )
It sounds like you are overthinking things way too much and should just go for it with somebody if the chance and get your confidence back. Is the lack of confidence in any specific? Ability to get and stay hard? Ability to act in a dominant way that I've think you've described before?
If not comfortable I can't perform.
One meet was spontaneous..
Early morning meet about 3 am
In the living
She kept running upstairs to check her child then down again..just getting started then rushing back upstairs so I left.. couldn't get hard.. was really off putting
That's a pretty odd situation to be in. Especially if you don't know the woman quite well.
Plenty guys are like you in that they don't get hard when nervous. Just ask anyone who organises group sex parties.
It's very common. I don't find it embarrassing. I just know myself well though to know that I will always have a better time choosing people I know I'm gonna to be relaxed and have a good connection with. And the women I hang out with don't care. And when no one cares, everything functions as normal.
Maybe, like me, you need a bit more of a connection? That's a perfectly good thing to know about yourself and there are people out there looking for that too.
First is you though. You need some good karma and momentum and nothing outside of you can do that.
Put your self in the way of some good vibes. Whatever makes you feel good.
If I'm really down I'll close the curtains for two days and absolutely indulge my sorrow. There has to be an end to it though.
Next steps. Don't take on anything that requires commitment.
"
Yea that's pretty much bang on mate.
Plus the mess on factor finding addresses in the dark etc...
Your words of wisdom are taken on board
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is in two parts...
1.
Do I look ok? I've asked this before and people have been kind.. but ..
I'm no Brad Pitt but do I look okay?
I've been chatting to 3 women and a couple who seem interested. I act confident but in private my confidence in looks and personality are fekin zero.
Constructive feedback on what I can change about myself would be helpful.
2. I was verified ages ago.. do veris count much? I've seen awsome veris and wish I had some good ones. The woman I met has deleted her profile
The missing bit is what happened to the three women and couple you have been chatting to?
If they have stopped the conversation chin up it happens all the time.
If you've stopped it or sort of sabotaged it because of confidence issues don't be a knob! (I mean that in a supportive blokey way )
It sounds like you are overthinking things way too much and should just go for it with somebody if the chance and get your confidence back. Is the lack of confidence in any specific? Ability to get and stay hard? Ability to act in a dominant way that I've think you've described before? "
Some self sabotage a few weeks ago but still chatting with those ones you mentioned |
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By *CExeCouple
over a year ago
Lincoln/Exeter |
Seen a few of your posts and you come across well. Just be yourself, compliment others and it will come.
Don't worry about not being able to perform, happens to us all at one point or another. We've had a few meets where Chels, me or who we've been meeting have had misfunction. It's certainly not bothered us at all.
Stick at it! |
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