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Attending club scene as a single female for the first time
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By *abart OP Woman
over a year ago
Bodmin |
Dear all, some advice would be great because as a newbie to all of this and wanting to keep this my gift to myself, I want to attend a swinging club night on my own. It will be my first experience and if I take a male contact (from this site) I won’t really know them well anyrate so I figured I might as well go on my own and can behave exactly as I please! Advice welcome on what to expect, etiquette, clothing, accessories. Any advice gratefully received, in anyway you see fit!!!  |
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All depends on the club and the night. Different events have different dress codes. I've done it 18 months as a single lady and I've no regrets ! Etiquette is pretty simple gain consent and if anything bothers you speak to staff  |
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Check each club you may be interested in and their code for the relevant day.
I've been mostly as a single woman and you should find it fairly simple, like being in a pub that's very friendly. You don't need to go anywhere, except this social area, unless and until you may do. You can socialise, whilst making it clear that this is your sole motivation, if you want to. You'll probably find others to explore the place with. And the owners will show you around on arrival.
I'd not spend much time with single men who you're not interested in, to prevent misunderstandings. Obviously loads are just friendly and expect nothing else.
Sexually, as with meeting elsewhere, outline your boundaries and interests and just go at your own pace
1st time you can revel in the pleasure of being somewhere new, that's your unique way to explore for yourself and potentially nothing more, if you find the wrong mix, situations etc.  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
First thing's first: it's meant to be fun: find a club you like and message them beforehand, a club that's any good should allay any fears and explain what their setup is, regarding drinks, bar or bring your own.
Ask, ask, ask, the club host and the forum users, about your intended club, as hindsight is truly wonderful. Cash or card, dress down or totally nude throughout etc.
All clubs are different. Nowt worse than not having something you need
Mention that you want to be given a full club tour and would like to be introduced to the regulars, this will break the ice instantly.
Both me and my partner (Miss Devil) have been the trusted regulars on a couple of occasions and have made some good friends purely on "This is a new visitor, can you look after her?".
This really makes for a better time, as being shy can cripple your chances of meeting everyone else.
"Room for a little one?" "Hi, mind if I watch/ join you?" or my favourite "Wow, what are THOSE gloves like, can you try them on me?" "What's the RHINO?"
Good luck. |
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Clubbed as a single gal for over 8 years… you’ll LOVE it!
Definitely find an event that interests you. Message the host and let them know you’re coming alone. They’ll usually go out of their way to find you and make sure you’re comfortable and have someone to speak too.
Some events have kik groups and stuff too so can speak to people beforehand.
- Don’t get too d*unk, I prefer remembering my night ha
- make sure your way home/ to hotel is planned. Have taxi numbers or whatever you’ll need
- don’t be scared to be vocal and up front with your yes and no!
Xx
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As youre in Bodmin and there is a lack of clubs in Cornwall I guess youll be heading to Devon. Ive been to all but the newest Devon club and comfortable attending alone. They all have a different vibe and depends on what youre looking for, how busy, facilities etc. Staff are always easy to turn to if needed as are others at the club. Everyone is usually very friendly...especially to single women |
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Loads of good advice here that I won't repeat. But I will say that on my first club visit (a Bedhoppers takeover at Penthouse Playrooms) I felt incredibly at ease and safe. Certainly more so than at any other "normal" nightclub I've ever been to. Loads of security around and a respectful atmosphere.
I purposely chose a club takeover because there was a Discord chat beforehand and so I got to know "virtually" the people going along in advance.
The thing I found most overwhelming was the wall-to-wall crap porn on all the tv screens above the bar, DJ booth etc etc! But you get used to that.  |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
You're right to be wary of going with a man from here. It might go OK, but if it goes badly it can go very badly. Lots of women go to clubs on their own and have a great time. I am sure you will too.
Have a think about the kind of atmosphere you'd be comfortable with, because different clubs and different nights will vary a lot. I usually avoid the big party nights because I'm not good with crowds and noise. But if you enjoy that, big party nights are probably for you.
Also, what do you want in terms of people? If you prefer playing with single men, obviously choose a night where they're allowed. If you prefer women or couples, a couples night might be better. It's an obvious point, but easily missed in the excitement of going at all.
Clothes depends on the club and event. If it's not dress-down on entry, start with a going-out outfit. Something that looks good, you feel good in, and you could get away with on a vanilla night out. For dress-down, feeling good is still important, but you can go a lot more revealing. Parties, particularly this time of year, might have a costume theme.
As a single woman, if you're not giving "leave me alone" vibes, you shouldn't have trouble attracting the attention of men. Couples and women might need more work. I recommend exploring the club and finding the social places. That's often the smoking area. Get involved in group conversation. Having a chat with someone and getting to know them a little makes approaching play later so much easier.
I'm fortunate in my regular club being one that doesn't have porn playing. We went to a different club recently, and I wasn't able to ignore the noises from the TV. Fake moans of 'pleasure' is not sexy when you're trying to enjoy the real ones. We had to find a different room.
Don't forget to come back and let us all know how it went, because I am not along in enjoying a little vicarious pleasure |
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Penthouse Playroom is good for single females. Once you have a ticket you get to join the chat rooms prior to the night. So you get the chance to chat and know people before the night. And they are a friendly bunch. |
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I (Mrs L) have visited many clubs/parties on my own.
First off, know what you want so that you can choose the club and time you want to visit (if you are looking for single guys you don’t want to turn up when they are not allowed in).
Know your boundaries sexually and tell anyone you play with what they are from the start. This way everyone feels comfortable going forward.
Be confident. That is confident enough to say yes and no. If you are interested in someone don’t be afraid to say so, as they could be fearful of rejection and not make the first move. If you feel uncomfortable in someone’s presence don’t be afraid to tell them you are not interested. Even if you get into a private room and realise they are not what you are looking for be confident to tell them so and walk away.
There are loads of great people to meet in the swinging scene. I’ve had many fabulous times. I’ve always felt very safe at clubs and parties as I don’t drink at them and have always felt in control.
Go with intention of having a great time socially and if anything else happens it’s a bonus.
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By *lieneWoman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
Lots of great advice on here.
I think the key thing is that pick somewhere that you feel comfortable- find club that has been recommended and you have had good feedback on. Speak to the club/ event organiser so they know you are new and can give you a tour. They will keep an eye on you to make sure you’re getting on ok.
Don’t feel pressured to do anything by anyone, but take the time to explore and see what goes on in the club. You might find some new things to try and have some great experiences!
Let yourself have fun and don’t worry if people say they aren’t interested. We can’t we everyone’s cup of tea! Remember it’s ok for you to say no too.
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
go on your own do not go with a guy you dont know you will regret it
do not drink any booze stay clear minded
go with you own rules and expectations
do not allow others to try and tell you the rules it theirs rules to suit themselves not you
do not do anything you feel the slightest bit uneasy about
yes its a club but there will still be idiots and they are not just men ive seen couples prey on women too
be strong be bold be thick skinned be blunt if someone ignores your no thanks then tell them again but louder if that dont work go straight to management and tell them dont be one of those who go ''oh well''
be confident at all times
i know thats alot of negative but handle that lot correctly you'll send out the right vibes ie you aint going to be messed around strong women have good fun on this scene weak women get walked over its that simple ... the only reason theres not more women and couples in clubs is because of the pitfalls but it really should not be the case just be confident and not afraid to say no and you'll have a wail of a time because you'll be in control of you at all times
clubs are generally great but there are always people looking for newbies to control ....dont let them that applies to other men women or couples ... just a example my biggest gripe in clubs is men but its male halfs of the couples feeling so entitled because they are part of a couple.
oh and have eyes in the back of your head if your wanting safe sex as they will try at some point
most of all have fun and if theres no one you fancy then dont do it its much better to go home happy than regretful |
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Personally I'd try a club outside of your city first.
Nothing like bumping into someone you know on your first nervous club night.
Look at the events you're interested in because it's less about the club but more about the people in it.
Get there early and the host will usually show you around which is really handy.
Try not to over think it and just have a good time.
Don't feel to bad if you have to be blunt, some people just won't take a polite no thanks |
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