FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is It Bad to Ask for Verifications?
Is It Bad to Ask for Verifications?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi. Still new here. Been to a couple of organised socials so far but I've hardly spoken to anyone because of nerves/shyness
Just wondering about this because it feels like verifications are a bit of a Catch-22. You need to meet new people to be able to meet new people
Group socials are great for that, of course, but I don't seem to see many happening in the West Midlands. Unless I'm looking in the wrong place on site?
Once I do start getting out more, just wondering if it is frowned upon to ask for verifications?
It's not that I would be going out with the sole intent of getting them but I know they obviously help to prove that I'm real. I understand the importance of them and I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm just talking to them to use them to improve my own standing here
Cheers  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you've been to some organised socials, then at least the organisers should verify you. Just ask them. "
"If you are going to an organised social as a newbie make sure you speak to the organisers and they will be happy to verify you."
Great. Thanks. Guess I'm just overthinking it as usual  |
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We are always happy to verify nice guys that we meet at clubs but struggle to remember their Fab names later.
Try writing down your Fab name on some slips of paper to give to people that you chat with?
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously. |
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"Hi. Still new here. Been to a couple of organised socials so far but I've hardly spoken to anyone because of nerves/shyness
Just wondering about this because it feels like verifications are a bit of a Catch-22. You need to meet new people to be able to meet new people
Group socials are great for that, of course, but I don't seem to see many happening in the West Midlands. Unless I'm looking in the wrong place on site?
Once I do start getting out more, just wondering if it is frowned upon to ask for verifications?
It's not that I would be going out with the sole intent of getting them but I know they obviously help to prove that I'm real. I understand the importance of them and I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm just talking to them to use them to improve my own standing here
Cheers "
You really need to get over your shyness and talk to people. Lots of people are shy and get nervous, only by talking to people will you got over it. You'll find most people at socials are friendly and will have a chat,most will happily verify you. Don't assume verifications are the golden ticket to you meeting people and having fun because they're not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We are always happy to verify nice guys that we meet at clubs but struggle to remember their Fab names later.
Try writing down your Fab name on some slips of paper to give to people that you chat with?
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously. "
That's great advice, thank you. Will defintely try doing that next time
"You really need to get over your shyness and talk to people. Lots of people are shy and get nervous, only by talking to people will you got over it. You'll find most people at socials are friendly and will have a chat,most will happily verify you. Don't assume verifications are the golden ticket to you meeting people and having fun because they're not."
I know I am overthinking it too much. I can just be really bad at meeting new people because I struggle a lot with shyness and anxiety. Slowly getting over that, I think, but it does take me a lot longer than most people  |
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"
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously.
Why not?
People might worry you're taking pics of them"
Loads of people have had phones out at groups socials I've been to. People are sharing Fab details and checking profiles while chatting sometimes. These are group socials in a pub with clothes on and nobody has ever been fussed. |
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"Hi. Still new here. Been to a couple of organised socials so far but I've hardly spoken to anyone because of nerves/shyness
Just wondering about this because it feels like verifications are a bit of a Catch-22. You need to meet new people to be able to meet new people
Group socials are great for that, of course, but I don't seem to see many happening in the West Midlands. Unless I'm looking in the wrong place on site?
Once I do start getting out more, just wondering if it is frowned upon to ask for verifications?
It's not that I would be going out with the sole intent of getting them but I know they obviously help to prove that I'm real. I understand the importance of them and I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm just talking to them to use them to improve my own standing here
Cheers "
Good for you getting out there and trying. Yes it's fine to ask for a veri and lots of people perfectly understand that it's useful for people starting out. You can ask for other people's Fab names and veri them later and most like they will write one back. It's only frowned upon if you start hassling people repeatedly or clearly make that the sole purpose of your interaction. |
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No it damn-well isn't bad to ask for verifications.
In our case, we've provided the willing woman, discrete accommodation and optional kink, along with the option of a very nice whiskey with accompanying post-coital chat.
If someone has had a good time, it's rude if they don't. Unless it's a question of discretion, of course. |
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"No it damn-well isn't bad to ask for verifications.
In our case, we've provided the willing woman, discrete accommodation and optional kink, along with the option of a very nice whiskey with accompanying post-coital chat.
If someone has had a good time, it's rude if they don't. Unless it's a question of discretion, of course."
Slightly off topic but I think it depends on their normal pattern. If they often give veris and they don't for you then agreed rude but perhaps just their polite way of saying they didn't enjoy the experience. But some people never give veris so in that case it's fine. You know what you are getting before. |
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"Slightly off topic but I think it depends on their normal pattern. If they often give veris and they don't for you then agreed rude but perhaps just their polite way of saying they didn't enjoy the experience. But some people never give veris so in that case it's fine. You know what you are getting before. "
We've had a couple of right b@stards in the past (attempted stealthing, getting too rough, etc,) and there was no way that either party was going to leave verification.
On the other hand, we've had one or two guys whom were incredibly nervous, and were unable to fully perform, but we have given them positive verifications as they were polite and didn't mess us around. They didn't ask for the feedback, but we thought it good manners to acknowledge THEIR good manners. |
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Another option you could try when you speak to someone is ask for their profile and verify them. I like to think that most people who get verified would do the same in return. Talking to the organisers is a good idea -you usually have to any way to sign in at least. Good luck |
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"Another option you could try when you speak to someone is ask for their profile and verify them. I like to think that most people who get verified would do the same in return. Talking to the organisers is a good idea -you usually have to any way to sign in at least. Good luck "
The OP can't verify anyone, he's not verified
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for your comments everyone. I really appreciate it
Sorry if this seemed like an awkward question. I just tend to worry a lot about politeness and such
I guess I meant this more in the sense of social verifications but it's nice to be informed a bit more about veri etiquette (veri-tiquette?). I certainly wouldn't expect one in any situation but I think I would be happy to give one if I felt the other person was nice and respectful |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously.
Why not? "
It depends on the club but many do not allow mobiles anywhere except specific areas. Other clubs are more relaxed and allow phones as long you are not taking photos in public areas. |
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"
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously.
Why not?
It depends on the club but many do not allow mobiles anywhere except specific areas. Other clubs are more relaxed and allow phones as long you are not taking photos in public areas."
Organised socials tend not to be in clubs. I assumed not club in this case but possibly. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"
You can’t have your phone out for notes obviously.
Why not?
It depends on the club but many do not allow mobiles anywhere except specific areas. Other clubs are more relaxed and allow phones as long you are not taking photos in public areas.
Organised socials tend not to be in clubs. I assumed not club in this case but possibly. "
Yes, you are right, but this was not in response to OP, who clearly mentions socials, but in response to the poster that says they are ok to verify people when they meet them in clubs and someone responded "why not" (use phones)
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"Another option you could try when you speak to someone is ask for their profile and verify them. I like to think that most people who get verified would do the same in return. Talking to the organisers is a good idea -you usually have to any way to sign in at least. Good luck
The OP can't verify anyone, he's not verified
"
Ah my apologies-didn’t know that. Thanks for the correction. |
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By *ullyMan
over a year ago
Near Clacton |
Hi. Still new here. Been to a couple of organised socials so far but I've hardly spoken to anyone because of nerves/shyness
Just wondering about this because it feels like verifications are a bit of a Catch-22. You need to meet new people to be able to meet new people
Group socials are great for that, of course, but I don't seem to see many happening in the West Midlands. Unless I'm looking in the wrong place on site?
Once I do start getting out more, just wondering if it is frowned upon to ask for verifications?
It's not that I would be going out with the sole intent of getting them but I know they obviously help to prove that I'm real. I understand the importance of them and I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm just talking to them to use them to improve my own standing here
Cheers
Simply ask if they want your verification and suggest you'll reciprocate. I have never been to a club or "gathering" but I would think perhaps people there would already have had their fill of varie's. |
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