FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Manner and politeness
Manner and politeness
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By *ibLeiMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
"
Respectfully: the vast majority of women won’t ever want to sleep with you, or me, or pretty much any single guy. You may want to internalise that as early as possible to avoid any “heart” ache. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs "
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
I do agree it's lacking but I don't agree it gets you no where, like anything you get what you put in.
Your profile is your shop window so to speak that's what people go by 1st, not manners or politeness.
Mrs |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
How many people have you spoken to for you to have formed that opinion? |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
Again in what context?
What people say and how they say it or are you talking about not getting replies to messages? |
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We'd be interested to hear what you feel constitutes manners. If you feel not getting a reply to every message is bad manners, then this site will be a bumpy ride.
We often read messages, then check the profile. If all looks good, then we would reply. If not then it would be a waste of everyone's time. |
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I disagree. It's the absolute minimum that's needed OP. You will be appreciated for it, by the right people. 
It's a really tough place for you single men though. See if there are any tips etc, that might make your time here more successful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
"
What do you class as manners and politeness in relation to FAB, and why do you think they get you nowhere? |
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There's always a sense of entitlement to these kinds of posts.
First - your idea of manners isn't always the general definition. I've had some awful first messages which the sender has believed to be very polite. And some just come off as obsequious and icky.
Also - just because you're polite, doesn't mean you're for everyone. Oh he was polite, put him on the to do list. |
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By *ullyMan
over a year ago
Near Clacton |
Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
As a gentleman manners and "politeness" should be natural and full time, not reserved for particular times or places.
That said I find these days offering ones seat, opening a door, or otherwise being gentlemanly towards a female often as not is met with gutter language and trash talk. I opened a door for a girl pushing a kid in a buggy and she hurled abuse at me, several other women who witnessed it rounded on her.  |
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"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
As a gentleman manners and "politeness" should be natural and full time, not reserved for particular times or places.
That said I find these days offering ones seat, opening a door, or otherwise being gentlemanly towards a female often as not is met with gutter language and trash talk. I opened a door for a girl pushing a kid in a buggy and she hurled abuse at me, several other women who witnessed it rounded on her. "
Only on fab have I ever seen so many men claim that they experience this |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
We constantly engage couples who are polite and display good manners, no matter we like each other or it's a "thanks but no thanks."
Some people seem to live in tiny bubbles where they feel their experiences are universal and apply to everyone else. So totally disagree with you that there's a lack of manners here in Fab and feel sorry for you if you have not experienced good manners in general from others.
On the other hand, we would never waste a minute with someone that is disrespectful and shows poor manners, and I doubt there are many profiles in Fab, if any, that prefer play partners that are rude above those that are nice and respectful. |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
Since this is likely to cause a few assumptions, can you give an example OP? |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
Think you will find it the same on most social media sites. Folks tend to say things they wouldn't dream of doing face to face.
You also have to take into account about 75% on here have no intention of meeting.
We met a couple in a club who are quite active in some of the more nasty forum groups.
Heard their profile name, said "hello, we're Liz and Paul from FAB, recognised your names from forum posts, lovely to meet you"
You'd think we had jabbed them with a cattle prod.
For some reason they weren't as chatty or as expert in real life. |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
Think you will find it the same on most social media sites. Folks tend to say things they wouldn't dream of doing face to face.
You also have to take into account about 75% on here have no intention of meeting.
We met a couple in a club who are quite active in some of the more nasty forum groups.
Heard their profile name, said "hello, we're Liz and Paul from FAB, recognised your names from forum posts, lovely to meet you"
You'd think we had jabbed them with a cattle prod.
For some reason they weren't as chatty or as expert in real life. "
Now intrigued as which are the more nasty Forum groups . Perhaps that was a case of one the couple saying things in Forum using couples account and the other being embarrassed or not totally aware. But yep plenty of keyboard experts.
I remember a lady a few years back who in various chat groups claimed to have done pretty much everything. She came to a party group sex event and froze once she saw what was going on and had to leave early. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
Think you will find it the same on most social media sites. Folks tend to say things they wouldn't dream of doing face to face.
You also have to take into account about 75% on here have no intention of meeting.
We met a couple in a club who are quite active in some of the more nasty forum groups.
Heard their profile name, said "hello, we're Liz and Paul from FAB, recognised your names from forum posts, lovely to meet you"
You'd think we had jabbed them with a cattle prod.
For some reason they weren't as chatty or as expert in real life. "
I’ve met people like that. Usually their carefully curated online personality is just that, an online personality. In person very different, and often quite insecure even a little tragic. |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
Think you will find it the same on most social media sites. Folks tend to say things they wouldn't dream of doing face to face.
You also have to take into account about 75% on here have no intention of meeting.
We met a couple in a club who are quite active in some of the more nasty forum groups.
Heard their profile name, said "hello, we're Liz and Paul from FAB, recognised your names from forum posts, lovely to meet you"
You'd think we had jabbed them with a cattle prod.
For some reason they weren't as chatty or as expert in real life.
I’ve met people like that. Usually their carefully curated online personality is just that, an online personality. In person very different, and often quite insecure even a little tragic. "
Very true.
The saying "more to be pitied than scolded" often springs to mind.
Sad really.
But had the pleasure of meeting lots of really nice, sexy people too.
Swings and roundabouts. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
Well, that's one way of alienating yourself, criticising others  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be nice because its the nice thing to do not because of what you might get as a result.
This seems a pretty good way to live your life in general not just on a site youre looking to for a shag |
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I think I miss the point of these threads.
Are they entitled "I was nice so I deserve replies and guarenteed sex" or are they "I don't know how to get replied beyond using my basic manners?"
If someone messaged me and I'd noticed their forum presence moaning about members, I'd be less inclined to interact with them. Surely defeating the purpose of highlighting they get low/no responses. |
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Manners and politeness are the default expectation of everyone we interact with in every sphere of life, not just here. They are not something that entitles you to anything. People generally react positively to positive people, so starting a moaning thread is as about as counterproductive a thing as you could do. |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
Saying that manners and politeness get you nowhere is very different from saying manners and common politeness are lacking on here.
One makes you sound like one of those “nice guys” who think women should fuck then because they say please and thank you, the other is a reasonable observation. |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
That's not what you said though, is it?
Manners are a value that you make habit because it is the right thing to do.
Manners are NOT something you cultivate in yourself in order to get something back.
So as you are using your manners and not getting anything back , all is right with the world if it's using your own manners that is important. |
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"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
As a gentleman manners and "politeness" should be natural and full time, not reserved for particular times or places.
That said I find these days offering ones seat, opening a door, or otherwise being gentlemanly towards a female often as not is met with gutter language and trash talk. I opened a door for a girl pushing a kid in a buggy and she hurled abuse at me, several other women who witnessed it rounded on her.
Only on fab have I ever seen so many men claim that they experience this "
Haha, all it’s missing is the ‘and everyone applauded’ at the end. |
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As Colin Firth said in Kingsman "Manners maketh the man". Well it was written by Shakespeare and in use before that but it was so much more impressive spoken moments before teaching some low life's a lesson with a beer glass and an umbrella. |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means."
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite. |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite. "
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled? |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?"
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap. |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap. "
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap.
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman."
Perhaps you would be kind enough to give an example of one impolite reply that has been posted on this thread, because, from what I can see, ths whole thread has been a particularly well mannered and polite discussion.
The initial post was a single sentence with no context which, quite frankly, gave off an air of entitlement, perhaps because of how it was worded. There was no contect given, no specifics, and yet everyone is expected to know exactly what he means with regard to details.
|
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap.
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman.
Perhaps you would be kind enough to give an example of one impolite reply that has been posted on this thread, because, from what I can see, ths whole thread has been a particularly well mannered and polite discussion.
The initial post was a single sentence with no context which, quite frankly, gave off an air of entitlement, perhaps because of how it was worded. There was no contect given, no specifics, and yet everyone is expected to know exactly what he means with regard to details.
"
I would say this thread is going much like the many others I have read, but as you say the O.P has provided no context, but there is plenty of context on this thread from others, as in the O.P is entitled and such for his post.
Say what you will, and I will say what I see and read.
The rest of your comment is for the O.P |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap.
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman.
Perhaps you would be kind enough to give an example of one impolite reply that has been posted on this thread, because, from what I can see, ths whole thread has been a particularly well mannered and polite discussion.
The initial post was a single sentence with no context which, quite frankly, gave off an air of entitlement, perhaps because of how it was worded. There was no contect given, no specifics, and yet everyone is expected to know exactly what he means with regard to details.
"
Agree the replies have been perfectly polite - it’s just that people don’t agree with OP. |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap.
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman.
Perhaps you would be kind enough to give an example of one impolite reply that has been posted on this thread, because, from what I can see, ths whole thread has been a particularly well mannered and polite discussion.
The initial post was a single sentence with no context which, quite frankly, gave off an air of entitlement, perhaps because of how it was worded. There was no contect given, no specifics, and yet everyone is expected to know exactly what he means with regard to details.
Agree the replies have been perfectly polite - it’s just that people don’t agree with OP. "
I note that my comment has not be forwarded along with the rest of this post.
But then people will not be able to see the whole context. |
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"From reading this thread I see kinda what the O.P means.
Manners are necessary but not sufficient. Kind of goes without saying to be polite. No need to make a song and dance about it and feel entitled because you are polite.
I do not sing it would be a crime to ones ears, but I can shake my thing to a tune.
The rest of your comment isn't about me, in fact none of your words reflect mine, so I take it it is about you.
So the question is....... can you sing and dance, if so is that why you feel entitled?
My apologies. I thought by your comment on OP's post you were agreeing that manners get you nowhere on here and that comments here confirmed his feelings. Not sure what else you could mean really but leave it here. Too early for a Forum argument on reading comprehension. Have a good day old chap.
No worries, I meant that the O.P isn't receiving any manners or politeness on this thread, I don't know why threads such as these are still read if it pee's people off so much.
But all to their own.
You have a good one as well my fine gentleman.
Perhaps you would be kind enough to give an example of one impolite reply that has been posted on this thread, because, from what I can see, ths whole thread has been a particularly well mannered and polite discussion.
The initial post was a single sentence with no context which, quite frankly, gave off an air of entitlement, perhaps because of how it was worded. There was no contect given, no specifics, and yet everyone is expected to know exactly what he means with regard to details.
Agree the replies have been perfectly polite - it’s just that people don’t agree with OP.
I note that my comment has not be forwarded along with the rest of this post.
But then people will not be able to see the whole context."
You’ll survive . It gets impossible to follow the long quote replies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having manners and being polite is for every part of life, not just Fab! Never should there be a time when you think abounding them is a good idea, no matter how frustrated you may feel! We give up on manners and decency then we're kinda fucked! |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
"
So does this mean that you show manners and be polite because you think that you’ll get what you want in return and when you don’t get what you want you think that having manners and being polite was a waste of time and effort?
If you were talking to someone who didn’t have anything to offer you and you didn’t want anything from that person would you still have manners and be polite when interacting with that person?
Having manners and being polite shouldn’t be considered tools to get somewhere or something that you want. Don’t you think that everyone deserves to be treated kindly by others and not have to give them something in return? |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Having manners and being polite gets you nowhere on here.
We disagree completely. If the messaging is not polite, respectful, and intelligent then the messenger is going to get nowhere with us. "
You’re not actually disagreeing with him, you’re just adding to what he said.
To disagree youd have to say that you always reply to messages that show manners and are polite, all you’ve said is that you don’t reply to messages that don’t show manners or are impolite.
It’s possible that having bad manners and being impolite gets you no where and neither does having manners and being polite. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We are always well mannered and polite, not just on fab but in life in general. It costs nothing to be respectful to others. As you say it lacks on fab, we just pass the crazy disrespectful by. It's a great filter. There are some lovely people on fab and we've met some off them. There's some horrible people on fab and we have blocked some   |
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"Manners and politeness don't make you entitled to sex.
Mrs
No definitely not entitled at all just think manners and common politeness is lacking on here
"
100% with you on that one !, definitely MUCH worse than it was when we first joined 10 years ago  |
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