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How to get gf to take the plunge?
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I have been making jokey comments to her about swingers and 3somes and in the right situation I think she would be up for it. So how to get her to stop thinking I’m joking? I’m thinking meet someone from here (guy or couple - obviously need a back story to say we know each other), maybe a night out together, the fem lets slip you have been to a swingers club etc, lots of wine flowing, back to yours for a night cap… |
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Don't try and be sneaky about it, swinging requires trust arranging meets behind her back isn't that!
Show her fab and set up a couples profile like most do.
At the end of the day if you can't communicate well enough to have the conversation then you can't communicate well enough to be swinging together.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been making jokey comments to her about swingers and 3somes and in the right situation I think she would be up for it. So how to get her to stop thinking I’m joking? I’m thinking meet someone from here (guy or couple - obviously need a back story to say we know each other), maybe a night out together, the fem lets slip you have been to a swingers club etc, lots of wine flowing, back to yours for a night cap…"
Show her your profile. Women get hot for honest decent single men with unaware girlfriends.
Sounds like you are trying to get her d*unk so she will do something. |
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be honest
i was scared to admit this is what i wanted years ago
took a while for her to process
and mrs now loves our adventures and our sex life is now the best its ever been
and by the way-you may find out she has some thoughts about it also
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Agreed with the above.
Show her your profile and how much fun you’ve had with all these people as a single and wrote about her on a swinging site.
Some people expect so much from others yet deliver so little.
Cringe  |
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Ask her to visit a club like Eureka for a dare and if she agrees,she will either go along with the idea or not
We, I told my wife about a naturist beach in Kent donkeys years ago - we went on a quiet weekday as easier for both of us.
I dared her to take her bra off as we sat in a dune - she dared me to take everyhting off first. As we dont lie to the other she promised to follow with everthing off - she did. Then within a few minutes we stood up in the smalle dune slightly long grass - blokes started coming over and said hi - we never looked back for years then stopped 3-somes when we had 4 children and now getting back into it many years later.
The first bit is always hard - even meets.
Not everyone is into this but if your gf is confident of her body and the palce you first attend is relatively quiet - best chance to find out
£-somes is not for everyone as we met a couple at a club in Kent years ago - the bloke confessed he did get jealous when wife said no to him at times at night in bed as his thoughts went to watching her being banged hard by other guy/s. I actually get turned on - we are all different |
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Don't joke about it, make it a fantasy you can share together, you've already had positive vibes from her.... Then one day, snuggled up together, gently suggest you make it real and see how she reacts. Make her feel loved and secure though, talk about how strong your relationship is and how no one could harm that. Talk about sex with and feelings for others, how you could keep that in check and never allow boundaries to be crossed. How you can 'love' a naughty friend but it can never be the same as your love... Portray your shared fantasy without any worries or concerns that may enter her mind and take the plunge together with a couples profile (then contact us  ) |
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Above all else be open to her her about it it's been said before but don't start it with a lie it'll come back on you just be genuine open honest and upfront don't try to force her to try it let her make her own choice if you talk and she's open to taking it further fantastic but if you chat and she's not fond of it don't pressure her into it if she doesn't want to she don't want to it's that simple just talk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have any respect for your girlfriend OP don’t even think about setting her up as this thread and your current status update are suggesting.
Low idea. |
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"If you have any respect for your girlfriend OP don’t even think about setting her up as this thread and your current status update are suggesting.
Low idea."
Yep totally agree and suspect very few couples would be up for it anyway. Had a man message me this week suggesting to do this with his wife (probably complete fantasy I know) and I found the idea wrong and ludicrous. Also extremely unlikely to work as well. More likely to go horribly wrong we ruin any glimmer of swinging possibilities. Better to find a way to ease her into things in a honest way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yep totally agree and suspect very few couples would be up for it anyway. Had a man message me this week suggesting to do this with his wife (probably complete fantasy I know) and I found the idea wrong and ludicrous. Also extremely unlikely to work as well. More likely to go horribly wrong we ruin any glimmer of swinging possibilities. Better to find a way to ease her into things in a honest way "
Of course the other side of the coin is said GF/wife takes to it like a duck to water, realises what she’s been missing out on, dumps other half and joins Fab.
Karma at its best  |
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Yep totally agree and suspect very few couples would be up for it anyway. Had a man message me this week suggesting to do this with his wife (probably complete fantasy I know) and I found the idea wrong and ludicrous. Also extremely unlikely to work as well. More likely to go horribly wrong we ruin any glimmer of swinging possibilities. Better to find a way to ease her into things in a honest way
Of course the other side of the coin is said GF/wife takes to it like a duck to water, realises what she’s been missing out on, dumps other half and joins Fab.
Karma at its best "
lol or the lady doesn’t dump him but decides she likes playing with other men but doesn’t want him playing with other ladies and eventually he gets fed up with her having all the fun and they stop completely. Might have had that experience before with a couple that was basically just the lady |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Definitely don't set her up or do anything underhand ,that's not the right way to get her interested in swinging
Have an adult open conversation and say, you know those jokes I make about swinging,they're not jokes.I really fancy trying xyz & wondered if you would try it too.
It's not that hard ,if she has no interest you need to leave it and not push her on it.
Alternatively keep cheating on her here & hope she never finds out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get some toys..play ..encourage her to suck u while u fuck her with a toy..grow it together..u dont want to start it on lies...talk be open..and get kinky..u taken a but plug.? "
This is how it started with us... using toys... fantasizing and watching porn |
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Just have a straight conversation with her, I’d definitely not manipulate or try to trick her into a scenario as described on the post tho without her knowledge of what she’s walking into, just gonna have to bite the bullet and put the big boy pants on I’m afraid |
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By *unchalMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"I have been making jokey comments to her about swingers and 3somes and in the right situation I think she would be up for it. So how to get her to stop thinking I’m joking? I’m thinking meet someone from here (guy or couple - obviously need a back story to say we know each other), maybe a night out together, the fem lets slip you have been to a swingers club etc, lots of wine flowing, back to yours for a night cap…"
I wouldn't show her this thread if I was you. |
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Thanks for all the advice. We are going to start with some car fun on Saturday night. No spectators this time, get her comfortable playing outdoors. Any advice for somewhere quiet and discreet to take her, away from the busily dogging spots would be appreciated (pm me obviously, not in here). |
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Our first foray into the lifestyle was an absolute fail due to not being together long enough and not understanding what we would feel during meets. If we assume you’re not cheating then you’ve been with her at most a year.
Start by looking for good information on the lifestyle through the web Eg podcasts.
And I’d let her know you’ve been here as a single guy a while! |
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"Our first foray into the lifestyle was an absolute fail due to not being together long enough and not understanding what we would feel during meets. If we assume you’re not cheating then you’ve been with her at most a year.
Start by looking for good information on the lifestyle through the web Eg podcasts.
And I’d let her know you’ve been here as a single guy a while! "
Forgot it was 2023… so two year for your relationship maximum |
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"Thanks for all the advice. We are going to start with some car fun on Saturday night. No spectators this time, get her comfortable playing outdoors. Any advice for somewhere quiet and discreet to take her, away from the busily dogging spots would be appreciated (pm me obviously, not in here)."
Dogging - its frezzing and heavy rain - consider a meet/chat and then a possible massage for the wife by the stanger and take it from there - if she wants you to leave the room, do so
Good luck |
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By *urvyGalWoman
over a year ago
cambridge |
I’m trying to get my partner to try it too. He knows I’ve been before and enjoyed the experiences. Discussed going to a club but neither of us getting involved with anyone the first time, just going for the social and sexy side. Hopefully this will become reality soon. |
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I took a while to come round to the idea when it did happen is was totally unplanned when a very good looking guy chatted me up on holiday so I ask hubby if he still wanted to see me with another guy and tbh not looked back since Lol |
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