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meeting at our hotel, very nervous, shy
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We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again |
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Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again"
I'd keep it in the hotel where your staying.
Have a laptop/folder - go for early evening, have it look like a mini business meeting etc
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it"
Having rules is so so important! please don't think otherwise!
My advice is let them meet the male one on one for a chat at a location away from the hotel and coordinate that way, its a good starting test and creates a confidence requirement! |
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There's good advice and considerations on here, from some of the single guys.
Ignore the issue regarding face pictures being a red flag. We've been on this site, and others like it for about a decade. We've never shared our face pictures.
Our first ever meet was with a younger single guy at a hotel. We didn't realise at the time, but we were very fortunate - because we now know, many single guys simply don't turn up! Even friends who DO share face pictures complain about this!
Using the term boundaries, is probably better than rules. Keep your boundaries as you see fit, because there are two possibly outcomes of regret a) you keep your boundaries and later wish you had been more flexible, or b) you loosen your boundaries and later wish you hadn't. Guess which outcome is going to be the most difficult to deal with.
Of the good advice you've been given here, I/we would agree that you should consider how nervous the single guy will be. So don't over complicate the meet. Like another person has mentioned above, just meet in the bar and make it look like a normal meet from day to day life.
Good luck, and have fun.  |
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Having rules is fine, but very strict rules will limit who will meet you. That’s fine, stick to your standards.
However be very clear what you mean prior to meeting anyone. An “all over massage” naked on a sex site to me includes breasts/ vagina. So make sure someone’s on the same wave length.
I wouldn’t ever meet someone without face pics as i wouldn’t want to be massaged by someone I don’t think is beautiful. I also think it’s less likely you click if faces are all a surprise to each other. But each to their own.
I’d expect to meet you both at a bar maybe separate but close to the hotel then it can develop more naturally if I chose too. Hotels know what is going on, a random man walking into a hotel with another man without the wife is obvious. So wouldn’t worry about people hearing you lol. |
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You say “Essex” but that is a huge place. You might want to give a clue as to which area. I’m in Essex on Herts border near Stansted. It can take 90 mins going to Eastern part. North to South is similar. Given you are not offering the man a great deal probably best chance is to find somebody relatively close to where you are staying. Don’t think many would drive 90 mins for what is on the table. That is not to criticise what you want (that is up to you) but just putting it into perspective. |
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To save disappointment I think you need to be realistic in your expectation. I don't think many young guys (which should be well hung, even though sex isn't on the cards) would be up for going through an interview offsite, with someone they may potentially not find attractive ( If photos are involved then it is a consideration) for a the chance to maybe be allowed to massage your wife.
I respect your rules, but I think they need to tamper them with some realistic expectation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah a lot of rules and it all ends with not much action. Looking above and other forums it seems couples often promise sex and single men dont turn up so with just a self given wank on offer is a bit lame.
Maybe have a think about what youre trying to achieve and come up with an easier way to do it?
Eg if the fetish is showing off your wife but you dont want the wife to be fucked by another man then maybe same room sex with another couple would be better.
Could even make it fair on both genders and share massages with the couple so all 4 of you get a massage from a stranger.
And because its same room sex and not swapping (although look into soft and full swap), nothing sexual will happen with your wife and the other man, especially because he will be too busy fucking his own woman lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?"
No such thing as "so many rules"
They can have 100 rules if they wish it's upto them, and it's only between them and the people who chose to meet them! |
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Meet them in the bar, and definitely meet them as a couple. The ideal outcome is surely that the guy only gets as far as the room if it’s all systems go, no?
Otherwise it may be risky for you two, gives the impression that Mrs isn’t as engaged in the whole thing as you are, and makes it two interviews that he’s got to pass instead of one. |
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"Meet them in the bar, and definitely meet them as a couple. The ideal outcome is surely that the guy only gets as far as the room if it’s all systems go, no?
Otherwise it may be risky for you two, gives the impression that Mrs isn’t as engaged in the whole thing as you are, and makes it two interviews that he’s got to pass instead of one. "
Indeed and OP only has to pass one interview as well. Presumably the man in question may meet and decide not for me especially as no face pics before. We don’t just massage and wank over anyone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Genuine question OP
you, the mr, want to meet the man to confirm he is who he says he is. Why wouldn't you and your wife meet him at the same time?
It reads like the third party has to trust you in 5 mins that you are taking him to a hotel room to meet your wife.... but how many people would do that?
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"Meet them in the bar, and definitely meet them as a couple. The ideal outcome is surely that the guy only gets as far as the room if it’s all systems go, no?
Otherwise it may be risky for you two, gives the impression that Mrs isn’t as engaged in the whole thing as you are, and makes it two interviews that he’s got to pass instead of one.
Indeed and OP only has to pass one interview as well. Presumably the man in question may meet and decide not for me especially as no face pics before. We don’t just massage and wank over anyone "
An excellent point, well made! |
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again"
Nobody is going to want to even speak to you without you showing face pics tbh...would you be happy arranging meets with someone that has refused to share pics with you? |
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You’re free to make up whatever rules you want and arrange the meet as you like. However the more rules and hurdles then the more hassle it is and so less likely to find any takers. Less takers probably means you’ll have to settle for someone you didn’t want or cancel the meet and therefore you’ve shot yourself in the foot ultimately. |
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again
Nobody is going to want to even speak to you without you showing face pics tbh...would you be happy arranging meets with someone that has refused to share pics with you?"
You don't know Fab very well. Plenty of men will meet without seeing face pics. They may not meet because of all the other issues and may attract the wrong but face pics per se not a barrier. |
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"Most people are oblivious to what others are doing, meet them in the bar. Stop treating the lifestyle like a dirty little secret!!"
It is a dirty secret to some people. Me included. So totally understand the want for discretion.
But on holiday, away from your home town meeting in a bar shouldn’t be an issue IMO. |
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I believe we each have the right to stipulte what works for us, whatever that is. If people dont like it then just trot on.
If I were available I would certainly be interested not all meets have to be the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?"
Essex is full of Asians?!!!!! |
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"I believe we each have the right to stipulte what works for us, whatever that is. If people dont like it then just trot on.
If I were available I would certainly be interested not all meets have to be the same."
Yes but would you be prepared to drive 2 and a half hours for an interview with Mr? Of course up to all what they want but it does reduce the field of available candidates rather drastically. |
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"There's good advice and considerations on here, from some of the single guys.
Ignore the issue regarding face pictures being a red flag. We've been on this site, and others like it for about a decade. We've never shared our face pictures.
Our first ever meet was with a younger single guy at a hotel. We didn't realise at the time, but we were very fortunate - because we now know, many single guys simply don't turn up! Even friends who DO share face pictures complain about this!
Using the term boundaries, is probably better than rules. Keep your boundaries as you see fit, because there are two possibly outcomes of regret a) you keep your boundaries and later wish you had been more flexible, or b) you loosen your boundaries and later wish you hadn't. Guess which outcome is going to be the most difficult to deal with.
Of the good advice you've been given here, I/we would agree that you should consider how nervous the single guy will be. So don't over complicate the meet. Like another person has mentioned above, just meet in the bar and make it look like a normal meet from day to day life.
Good luck, and have fun. "
Thank you and the others with good advice |
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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago
The South Near That London |
Why not give your wife a massage while your on cam, you’ll get an audience and most will want you to look at them wanking on cam - might be a way of easing yourselves into things, have a chat about how it felt for you both them maybe progress to arranging a meet, you might even find a suitable fella on cam, almost like having a casting call |
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?
Essex is full of Asians?!!!!!"
lol yes that did make me laugh but I think it was just a clumsy way of saying Asians are not uncommon so wouldn't stand out |
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?
Essex is full of Asians?!!!!!
lol yes that did make me laugh but I think it was just a clumsy way of saying Asians are not uncommon so wouldn't stand out"
Also this brings me back to a question I asked about where in Essex as it's huge despite the TOWIE focus on Brentwood and Chigwell and other bits near London. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again"
My first hotel meet her partner met me at the coffee shop next to the hotel and I spoke to him for a while before he took me up to the room and left us to it. Filmed everything on the go pro |
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I couldn't speak to whether this would be an appealing offer to other guys but it certainly wouldn't be for me.
I would essentially feel used.
But in fairness if I had a kink for jerking myself off over a woman while her husband watched it would be totally different.
I do think you can have as many rules and boundaries as you like and as long a the guy knows what he's getting into all is fair. |
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"I couldn't speak to whether this would be an appealing offer to other guys but it certainly wouldn't be for me.
I would essentially feel used.
But in fairness if I had a kink for jerking myself off over a woman while her husband watched it would be totally different.
I do think you can have as many rules and boundaries as you like and as long a the guy knows what he's getting into all is fair."
Agreed |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
Whatever you do, it's your choice. But I think you should reconsider the hotel lobby approach (or cafe/bar near by). It's a little safer, because if something sketchy happens, suddenly they are in your room where you are alone and there is all your stuff.
If you worry about other people listening, I think you just need to find a quiet corner. There always is one somewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?"
Agree ..
Meets cloaked in restrictions because you feel anxious isn't really going to work is it .. Just met at the hotel bar. Move to a corner of three areas to a table and talk quietly, who cares if people hear anyway. People meet in a hotel bar and go up to the room for a shag, shock horror !! |
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again
Nobody is going to want to even speak to you without you showing face pics tbh...would you be happy arranging meets with someone that has refused to share pics with you?"
The above. To all fabswingers, and some have stated it here already. There are MANY that will not just "SPEAK" to you but will meet you and that is a fact
As long as one's ad/profile is clear, it is as others said the cnatactors choice if to contact or not.
Most guys have their face pics on their profile and most couple don't and that is another fact.
What we are seeking is clear and the fact we won't provide a face pic is clear and we get many, many contacts. Those that cotnact us are aware of this. After all we are not looking for a love-affair, lol
Many thanks for the help as it was really useful. |
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If you weren't going to share face pics, you could have a video call, so that all can assess compatibility.
Have agreed boundaries up front. 1 or more of you can meet outside or in the hotel and take them to the room. A bar drink may relax you all and lead to a better time.
I speak on the phone before the actual meet. You get a connection and possibly filter fantasists out. |
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"We are now on our mini-break in Essex.
I've set up ads for Sunday and Monday and already get several dozen contacts.
We dont want to meet the guy in our hotel bar as we do stick ot as atm only asian people there and nor do we feel we would feel comfy talking to the guy/s where possibly others could hear.
my plan is having arrange a meet just past the hotel, if they guy is what he claimed, invite him back to the bedroom to meet mrs and then have a 5 min chat. We'd make clear and have as per our ad/profile that we may not click
If we click then its a nude massage for the wife, she wears very small pair of knickers and guy gives her all-over massage and then can wank afterwards but nothing more.
We were just looking for younger, well hung for first meet but are now considering older guy/s not possibly well hung
Have you met anyone at your hotel and was new, relatively new to this and what would your tips be?
Should I remove the gallery pic of Mrs, pussy pic and only put this up once we've had a meet/s and more confident, ie most likely more than massage?
feel free to pm
thanks again
Nobody is going to want to even speak to you without you showing face pics tbh...would you be happy arranging meets with someone that has refused to share pics with you?
The above. To all fabswingers, and some have stated it here already. There are MANY that will not just "SPEAK" to you but will meet you and that is a fact
As long as one's ad/profile is clear, it is as others said the cnatactors choice if to contact or not.
Most guys have their face pics on their profile and most couple don't and that is another fact.
What we are seeking is clear and the fact we won't provide a face pic is clear and we get many, many contacts. Those that cotnact us are aware of this. After all we are not looking for a love-affair, lol
Many thanks for the help as it was really useful. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seriously , nobody cares about race or colour nowadays
Just meet the guy in a bar have a chat and see where it goes
Sure it’s nerve wracking but that’s part of the fun
Enjoy |
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"Man you have so many rules, very offputting I would imagine. Sounds like you're over thinking it and Essex is full of Asians so no-one really cares, not sharing face pics before meeting is a huge red flag. Why no just meet in the hotel bar and chat and discuss any boundaries at the time once everyone is comfortable?"
I don't see too many rules or red flags at all.
It's their first meet and they both need to be comfortable and happy with it.
They are not there as a public service, it is about real people and they can safeguard themselves how they see fit.
I think that the idea of a laptop and appearance of a business meeting is a great one.
Nobody will know and you can go at your own pace that way.
You are in control and any men you meet need to follow your rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do massage for a living. If I meet a woman, or couple, in a hotel, we always meet in the hotel bar, with me in a suit for the hint of a business meeting.
Blew up once with the lady in mini hot pants and her hubby in shorts. I think the hotel sussed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had our first ever experience of this lifestyle last Saturday. No other man had ever touched the wife intimately in her life.
She left it all to me to arrange the meeting, which would only be for a full body massage, including boobs and down below. I had made it absolutely clear to the guy that the wife will be in full control at all times, if at anytime she says stop, it means stop. However, I told him there were no restrictions from me in any way whatsoever ever how far the massage escalates. When the "masseur" arrived, I left the wife and him on their own after introducing them as I didn't want to be present lest the wife feels nervous.
Cut a long story short, he sucked her boobs and ate her pussy on the massage table, made her cum twice. We wish we had started this a long time ago. |
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