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Arranging soft play with others
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
So we will be going to pleasures on the 14th and have been debating possibly arranging something.
So far all we have explored is ff play while I watch or mff where I join in. My partner has watched me as part of a mmf play as well. These have all been spur of the moment encounters at clubs.
We've brought up the idea of possibly trying to arrange with another couple off here before we go. How do you guys do it and what limits do you set for soft play.
We spoke about us playing beside another couple and her playing with the other female and if she's in the mood allowing the male to touch her boobs.
She also spoke about how she enjoyed watching me being frotted by a woman with her partner and thought it was hot. Again all depending on how she feels.
Do you think it's best to try chatting to couples going and seeing if any are comfortable with some mild soft swinging and setting boundaries early?
She said she has no interest in blowing another guy or anything further.
Advice would be welcome. |
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From our experience (and others we've spoke to), most couples who arrange to meet us in a club either don't turn up or don't say hello like they said they will. Only a few of our meets have been from messaging beforehand. It's best if you just go to a club, see who takes your fancy, say hello and see how it goes. |
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
"From our experience (and others we've spoke to), most couples who arrange to meet us in a club either don't turn up or don't say hello like they said they will. Only a few of our meets have been from messaging beforehand. It's best if you just go to a club, see who takes your fancy, say hello and see how it goes."
Thank you. I think we will need to get over our shyness of talking to other couples in the "real world" as well.
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I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x |
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x"
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off."
No, he killed the vibe when he pushed his luck. Don’t put blame where it doesn’t belong. |
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"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off."
You have to have a chat before you go in a playroom about what you're into. Explain you're just into girl on girl and play with own partner. We'll happily play that way, many won't. Also, many couples have a straight Lady. |
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off.
You have to have a chat before you go in a playroom about what you're into. Explain you're just into girl on girl and play with own partner. We'll happily play that way, many won't. Also, many couples have a straight Lady."
When it happened we where playing independently on the bed. Another couple have started having sex beside us and the 2 women have just started having wandering hands and play has gone from there .
So no words exchanged. I haven't tried to touch the female partner but the male partner has taken it as a green flag that he could do what he wanted as his wife was playing with my missus. |
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You’ve got to communicate and be clear about what you want in situations. Or the above incident will happen often IMO.
Playing with each other in a couples room is a good way to start and if people play near you tell them what you want. For most they will be happy to know the boundaries, or it’s a polite no thank you.
I’ve clubbed a long time and think 99.99% of people are respectful and honest and just like knowing where they stand x |
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
Maybe best to see who we vibe with and talk to them first before going to the play area.
We did have one incredibly bad experience before at eureka. My missus danced with another woman and began kissing. They both called me over and we had a 3 way kiss.
She said she was with her husband and she would introduce us. He explained he enjoyed watching his wife playing with others. My missus said cool but she won't be doing anything with him. We went back to our cabin and he watched for a while and then they started to argue in polish. I asked what's up and she said he was angry. He then said normally he is allowed to join in once everyone had started fucking as everyone was to horny to care.
Nice. They left. |
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It would be a good idea to look at the forums for the events being held at the club of your choosing.
Many events have a guestlist which you can look at. Many also have a group chat, usually on Telegram or other apps. This really helps in getting talking to others and you can freely put your boundaries up and start conversations with others who are looking for the same thing or willing to bend their boundaries a little bit to suit.
If you're not communicating during play, it'll often be assumed that a couple playing means a "shared 4way" is going to happen when another couple join.
The Mr doesn't play as a general rule with other women, his choice. However, we've always enjoyed a good time in group rooms and he'll just quietly put forward his boundaries to said ladies if they approach in a way he feels they are expecting something. Or I will do if he's "preoccupied". Very few people get pissy if they know before play is in full swing.
If they do get pissy though, that's on them. Not you. Just be sure to be clear from the off to avoid disappointment that can bring a downer on your vibe x |
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I think if your talking very soft play, for example the guy may touch the woman's boobs and that's it then best to be clear and set boundaries from the start.
I think as a default unless boundaries have been discussed before soft play is expected by most couples. So no body will be expecting to stick their penis in anyone without specifically checking. However most people see soft play as pretty much any sort of foreplay and/or kissing short of penetration. So when you invite them over to play they expected a certain level of free reign with their hands without stopping and checking all the time. Consent is king and anyone worth their salt would clearly stop if you said to them or would pick up on the vibes/eye contact if something wasn't OK. However it does sort of put the dampeners on things if you're expecting something more free flowing and you're being told to stop left right and centre.
Your limitations and boundaries are perfectly fine. However they are more limited than what many may expect or consider soft play. So in this situation (for everyone's enjoyment and things to flow better) it's best to be very clear as to what can and can't be done before hand. And by the way you can all have a really hot experience in the confines of the boundaries you have set. So enjoy. |
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By *g1979 OP Man
over a year ago
bexley |
"I think if your talking very soft play, for example the guy may touch the woman's boobs and that's it then best to be clear and set boundaries from the start.
I think as a default unless boundaries have been discussed before soft play is expected by most couples. So no body will be expecting to stick their penis in anyone without specifically checking. However most people see soft play as pretty much any sort of foreplay and/or kissing short of penetration. So when you invite them over to play they expected a certain level of free reign with their hands without stopping and checking all the time. Consent is king and anyone worth their salt would clearly stop if you said to them or would pick up on the vibes/eye contact if something wasn't OK. However it does sort of put the dampeners on things if you're expecting something more free flowing and you're being told to stop left right and centre.
Your limitations and boundaries are perfectly fine. However they are more limited than what many may expect or consider soft play. So in this situation (for everyone's enjoyment and things to flow better) it's best to be very clear as to what can and can't be done before hand. And by the way you can all have a really hot experience in the confines of the boundaries you have set. So enjoy."
Thank you very much for your helpful advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off.
No, he killed the vibe when he pushed his luck. Don’t put blame where it doesn’t belong. "
Definitely what's agreed before stands and everyone is respected.
We have played with a couple and the female wasn't ready to play with another male so I respected that and only fucked my wife but was totally fine with there male fucking my wife as everyone was happy to take that step.
KJ |
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"I think you're best off just setting boundaries between yourselves. Then just going. Group play rooms (especially if they're quiet) are wonderful to "break the ice" with a little play if you're feeling abit shy about approaching people, I've always found people to be very respectful and will ask if things can go further etc, have also always found everyone respects other people's boundaries.
Ofcourse, you can just strike conversation with other couples and if you feel the flirting and chemistry is there, ask of they'd be interested in soft play.
You could message before hand but I find you get more success just going with what an open mind of who may be there, look at the guestlist if its available etc and then letting the night flow organically x
Thank you
I think what puts my partner off is we have had the males in couples try to push there luck.
If my partner starts to play with a woman we have had the man say if she is playing with his wife he should be allowed to play with her as well. That can kill a vibe when we tell him to fuck off."
Maybe just say "no thanks" rather than "fuck off". I think that would be less likely to "kill a vibe" for everyone. |
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"So we will be going to pleasures on the 14th and have been debating possibly arranging something.
We've brought up the idea of possibly trying to arrange with another couple off here before we go.
Do you think it's best to try chatting to couples going and seeing if any are comfortable with some mild soft swinging and setting boundaries early?
Advice would be welcome."
I think if you are looking to chat with couples and arrange meeting up you would be best doing it through a couples profile, not a single man |
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"So we will be going to pleasures on the 14th and have been debating possibly arranging something.
So far all we have explored is ff play while I watch or mff where I join in. My partner has watched me as part of a mmf play as well. These have all been spur of the moment encounters at clubs.
We've brought up the idea of possibly trying to arrange with another couple off here before we go. How do you guys do it and what limits do you set for soft play.
We spoke about us playing beside another couple and her playing with the other female and if she's in the mood allowing the male to touch her boobs.
She also spoke about how she enjoyed watching me being frotted by a woman with her partner and thought it was hot. Again all depending on how she feels.
Do you think it's best to try chatting to couples going and seeing if any are comfortable with some mild soft swinging and setting boundaries early?
She said she has no interest in blowing another guy or anything further.
Advice would be welcome."
It’s important before any play for everyone to understand everyone’s play style. Make sure everyone knows what’s likely to happen and you’ll be fine.
Be very wary of people that want to override pre agreed things during play! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we will be going to pleasures on the 14th and have been debating possibly arranging something.
So far all we have explored is ff play while I watch or mff where I join in. My partner has watched me as part of a mmf play as well. These have all been spur of the moment encounters at clubs.
We've brought up the idea of possibly trying to arrange with another couple off here before we go. How do you guys do it and what limits do you set for soft play.
We spoke about us playing beside another couple and her playing with the other female and if she's in the mood allowing the male to touch her boobs.
She also spoke about how she enjoyed watching me being frotted by a woman with her partner and thought it was hot. Again all depending on how she feels.
Do you think it's best to try chatting to couples going and seeing if any are comfortable with some mild soft swinging and setting boundaries early?
She said she has no interest in blowing another guy or anything further.
Advice would be welcome."
It's hard enough arranging a club meet for full swap or proper soft swap, trying to arrange one for no swap or you only playing with his Mrs is going to be near impossible. That's the reality, you are aiming for a tiny audience and without a couples profile I would say that audience drops to zero.
Maybe just hit the club, gauge the vibe and see how you both feel. Most couples we know didn't do anything or just played alone in private on their first club visit. Swinging is a lifestyle to grow into, those who rush normally fall away just as quickly. |
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" Thank you. I think we will need to get over our shyness of talking to other couples in the "real world" as well.
"
This sounds like a good idea.
I had a little flirtation with a couple along the lines you're seeking recently. Haven't in ages but used to quite a lot before C19. It's fun!
We just met coincidentally at a vanilla party and all ended up flirting. There was no arranging, no pre-agreeing, no boundaries were particularly discussed (her leaning across me to tell her bf he was allowed to touch was hot  )
I went home feeling happy and sexy, as did they.
Entrance fees and plastic mattresses are gonna add a level of nuisance, grim and expectation that's not really where you're at... Unless you particularly want it to be kinda anonymous groping?
Anything more x-rated with couples has involved a bit of discussion of boundaries. But spontaneous flirting and a little petting is nice in the wild!
xx |
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"We've stopped organising meets too many messers and people who don't turn up. We just go club and chat there."
Was that with couples or men? Men messing around and not turning up or dropping out last minute is common but would say quite rare for couples, well assuming it is a proper verified couple. |
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