FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Sex with emotions

Sex with emotions

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I likely to find that on here (or anywhere for that matter)? I don't want men to just tell me what I they think i want to hear but sex with a random guy I've just met isn't for me. I met a guy tonight and felt like a whore - there was more passion coming off my handbag

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello and welcome to the site and the forums,

Sorry to hear you felt this way after your first experience!

Whilst there may be gents out there who will offer you what you want, most of us are on here for NSA fun! Maybe say on your profile that your seeking a FWB,

Good luck

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By *ovely CummingsWoman over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

Oh they exist, you just have look carefully for them.

Be willing to take your time and keep your personal standards in place and you can find some wonderful people via this site.

I always have a social meet with new people as you can tell from that if there's a spark of something

Good luck x hope you find who your looking for

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By *ighland_RoseCouple over a year ago

Brigadoon

"I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

I have no idea if this site is the place for you but if you do decide to stay why not put all that on your profile and take your time to get to know someone before meeting them. If guys aren't patient enough for that then you will know they aren't for you.

I'm not looking to meet a guy as I'm in a relationship but I've had some long and continuing chats with guys on here and they seem genuine nice guys so it's not all "wham bam never see you again ma'am" types

Good luck anyway whatever you decide

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

its a shame your first experience was a bad one , but dont let it put you off ...there are plenty of nice guys on here that want a regular fuck buddy .....whats the saying ...kiss a few frogs to find a prince xx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

this site is possibly not for you although I believe that there are men here looking for the same thing as you. You don't have to have sex with a guy the first time you meet him....even on here and if you are going to come away feeling like a whore then you should stop now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

You need to assess what you actually want from this site and any potential guys you meet. There are some guys on here who are not just after a legover, and indeed are after similar to yourself ie; someone to enjoy 'fun' with, but also maintain an everyday friendship. You're not asking 'too much', you just have to have a little patience and be prepared to filter out the bull-shitters (of which there are many). Bull-shitting however is not confined to single guys, so let me clarify that first of all before I get flamed.

I suggest you set up a profile, clarifying everything you want, seek, desire and enjoy talking to people who will and can share experiences. There are lots of other females on here who seek the same as you and keeping in touch on these forums is a geat way to gain an insight and a feel for your search. Welcome to the site anyway, and I ( well, both of us, but the hubby's in bed...lol) wish you well and that you seek what you desire, whether it be on here or elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi there are some guys on here who may offer what you are looking for. I am looking to build up friendships. Most of the men seem to be only interested in getting there leg over and moving on to the next one. If you have a coffee meet first then you can both talk about what you both want out of your meets. If its a relationship you are looking for then you are on the wrong site. Try talking a little before you meet and then have a chat over coffee it works for me i have one lovely male who is my friends with benefits buddy and we socialize alot together with no strings it is great

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

Oh, and a quick tip.....Hide your friends list.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Hope you find your ideal friend with benefits. Unfortunately fab world is similar to vanilla world. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. Go for a coffee on your first date and don't feel pressured to fuck straight away. Don't meet fancy a fuck guys. Chat here first and take your time . I'm sure there are nice guys on here . Look at me I'm one of them . Xx

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By *owlmMan over a year ago

Wakefield

hetro men and straight women are very different.

basically womens hormones are highest a few days a month (when the eggs are ready). mens hormones are high all the time. Men will always be horny (usually) and ready for sex with or without emotion.

Men really do appreciate a womans company. i cant speak for all men but men are always pretty much ready for sex. if you dont respect this part of men then they will use you for what they can get out of you. its in their instinct. theres nothing to feel 'guilty' about.

if you dont enjoy the sex then spend time chatting with guys on the cam or in person. make sure theres chemistry there. im not a woman so i cant really answer this question. and just because im a gay man it dosent mean im qualified to answer it neither... i dont have the same hormones as you do.

basically gay and bi men are always horny and we would be like rabbits all the time. the hormones are so high. straight men always have the same high hormonoes. but it dosent mean they shouldnt be respectd.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If this was a guy posting this, he'd be slagged rotten!

I'm sorry Poppy, but profiles are there for a reason but yours says and tells nothing! And your status line says you're looking for a guy in uniform? No mention of emotions there!!

Think this lady is speaking with forked tongue!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Put whatever you like on your profile. I say nothing about me on mine and I do fine.

I spend time chatting and always have a coffee meet first. That was it helps me sort out who I want to meet and also discuss boundaries etc. No pressure for anything else.

Nowlm had some great points in his post. Some blokes are very primal and just want a fuck. Nothing wrong with that, just avoid them as that's not what you want.

I wouldn't leave just yet. There are some great people on here. Some idiots too, but there are idiots on every site. Have fun. X

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

Complete your profile.

Tell us what you find attractive, and what you enjoy.

Also put that you are looking for regular playmates not one off meets.

Don't be bullied. If you want to insist the first meet is over coffee in a public place then do so. That way you can establish mutual attraction and if you feel like you could be in this person's company regularly.

Then set up your filters, they mean that anyone out of you age/gender preference can't mail you. You can also choose to set them for new users, the unverified and profiles without pics.

Personally I'm happy to meet new, unverified people but I expect to see a face pic so I know who I'm meeting and I often ask if they will make the effort to get photo verified so I can be more confident the pics are up to date.

Consider getting a ten pound phone from one of the large supermarkets, it means your phone stays your own and if someone starts sending lots of unwanted messages or calls you can either switch it off or get a new sim and not have to explain to everyone in your normal life why.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate to sound a bit self absored but here goes. Gentleman do exist. some of us feel that we are on an uphill struggle due to the number of "idiots" who think hi fancy a fuck and a cock shot is all you need.

Swimging is about the connection of like minded people and the fun they have, both in and out of the bedroom.

This might be a personal idea, but i also hope people out there can fight past the idiots and find us real gents. i have met a couple and a lady, we are firm friends already and only occasionally have benefits. no preassure, no expectations. just friends that occasionally have fun.

keep looking and happy fabbing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a quick note to say, if you take your time you can find whatever you want on here

We met through fabs and have now lived together for over 2 years and plan to get married in the next few years.

So just be honest with people and u never know

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Remember you may find a gent who gives you what you want on here but don't get caught up with the "love" thing. Changes it will be one sided ie you love him and he "cares about" you. Be prepared to it mess with your head.

Far better keeping guys at a distance with NSA fun. Most will treat you like a lady but at least you don't get emotionally involved. As in previous posts most men will get what they can out of you and move on to the next women without even blinking. Its a female thing that wishes for an emotional attachment .

And before anyone has a go at me yes I know not all men are wham bam thank you mama's and not all women are looking for emotional attachment.

Just been there got the T-shirt and still pissed off with myself allowing myself to get emotionally involved with someone who does want to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me, sex is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time.

I need to know the gent in sufficient details in order to establish if there is any chemistry between us. This usually takes days if not weeks/months.

If I do not like the gent for whatever reason(s), then sex is not going to happen. Fuck and go without so much of a hello and goodbye is not my style.

It is not my intention to have one offs. however, the majority of my meets ended up that way in the past, in the days when I spent less time in getting to know the gents prior to meeting them for fun.

For those I consider as "keepers", I would keep in touch by text/PMs/etc...

It is still NSA fun for me as there is no emotional attachment. I don't long for spending more time with the gents, as I am too busy living my own life the way I like it, and that means the freedom to do whatever I like, whenever I like it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Use your profile, pretty much any combination is available from pretty much anywhere. The one advantage this site offers you is the chance to be honest, after all you can't go onto "regular" dating sites and say you are looking for semi casual sex with one or more people of either gender.

Set out your store and see who likes it. Then as others have said take your own time deciding what if anything will come of the contacts you make.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Remember you may find a gent who gives you what you want on here but don't get caught up with the "love" thing. Changes it will be one sided ie you love him and he "cares about" you. Be prepared to it mess with your head.

And before anyone has a go at me yes I know not all men are wham bam thank you mama's and not all women are looking for emotional attachment.

Just been there got the T-shirt and still pissed off with myself allowing myself to get emotionally involved with someone who does want to be. "

Been there, done that !!! Hurty

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By *ubyExpreeWoman over a year ago

BBBW Heaven

I would like to stay stick with it Fab is like the real world some people only want to use others, while some are looking to share.

I was like you and about to quit then....... I met my o/h and now I have the best of both worlds. There are a lot of men on here looking for a RFB but you may have to look hard. Change your profile and don't give up.

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By *owlmMan over a year ago

Wakefield

i mostly agree with roleplaygamer. Men are after a fuck but its usually a certain 'type'. their 'type' in other words. i personally think men are choosy, but choose 'categories' rather than individuals and eventually select the best individual in that 'category'.

ive yet to meet a man who blows my socks off in my 'category'hence the reason why im on here. do you agree with the categories idea?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I much prefer some emotion when it comes to playmates. I'm certainly not the shallow type who doesn't want to get beyond skin deep with those I share my body with. I've had a few meets where it's obvious they can't or don't see beyond the outer shell and just want a shag. But I've also met a few guys who I'm truly close to but not in a bf/gf way. Just a closeness we share. I truly believe they feel it too. Though I was burned by one guy who said all the right things then walked away after 1 meet

Stick to your guns and don't sell yourself short. I tend to chatvto guys for awhile before meeting socially then meet for play. This tends to out the ones that just want a quick shag with anything that has a pulse

Good luck to ya

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you so much for all the advice.

I plan to spend some time this evening writing my profile and setting my filters

All good things come to those who wait

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By *iggamanMan over a year ago

London

"I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

first off you need much more to your profile so people know what your looking for and then give it more then a week

good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I honestly think as a single woman on here you can find whatever your looking for, there are so many guys on here there's sure to be some after the same as you, I've met all kinds, some who just want to fuck and go, some who want to build a friendship, I've even met some that have fallen in love with me

It's all out there you just need to look

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By *ngelsdevilWoman over a year ago

Merseyside

I like to meet guys who I can have a good gab too, I speak with them for a bit on here and I know if il get on with them if I meet them. Generally (apart from one) the guys iv met have been great, had a few repeat meets and still chat to most of them now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only meet couples....but I have met some who clearly don't have any interest/respect and it didn't go any further than a social meet. I have met others who have been amazing and I count them as friends. Youl get a mixed bag on here...I've had some great msgs frm single men...I hope u meet a nice one x

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By *issmekate xxxWoman over a year ago

Non Vanilla Land

Hi Clare

You sound very much like me ... have just read what looks like your updated profile and it sounds fab !!!

Just wanted to let you know that I have been on the site for 6 months and have come across some truly wonderful guys. Granted you have to keep your wits about you, but there is no need to let your standards drop ... seek and you will find, be patient .... I always spend ages messaging guys and that certainly cuts out the wheat from the chaffe, I also tend to go through their verifs with a fine tooth comb, not just what people have said about them, but what they say about others .... it all helps to build up a picture!!!

And at the end of the day ... you get out what you put it .... pardon the pun!! Have fun, sit back and put your feet up ..... for the guy you are looking for is out there somewhere xxxx

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By *oftnsultryWoman over a year ago

Truro

I met a guy over a year ago...we still meet. I know he meets others as do I, but well, when we meet wow! It took a lot of chatting before our first meet and it was well worth it!

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By *issy louWoman over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

There are some nice guys on here, and I'm sure that once you have ed out all the "fancy a fuck" guys you will find one! The only thing I would say about your profile - you say you are married but you want a guy who is unattached, some might consider that double standards! You will also get a lot of guys who pretend to be single but aren't really! I hope you find what you are looking for, good luck! XxX

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By *ngel n tedCouple over a year ago

maidstone

You should probably remove the mf couple option as well, unless your looking for a fulfilling lurve triangle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

kissed a few frogs now have some decent fwb and I've been in here 3wks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi there are some guys on here who may offer what you are looking for. I am looking to build up friendships. Most of the men seem to be only interested in getting there leg over and moving on to the next one. If you have a coffee meet first then you can both talk about what you both want out of your meets. If its a relationship you are looking for then you are on the wrong site. Try talking a little before you meet and then have a chat over coffee it works for me i have one lovely male who is my friends with benefits buddy and we socialize alot together with no strings it is great"
I would say alot of men just have one thing on there mind here and its sex ........ But at times you will find the rear one your looking for and make it all worth it. xx good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"this site is possibly not for you although I believe that there are men here looking for the same thing as you. You don't have to have sex with a guy the first time you meet him....even on here and if you are going to come away feeling like a whore then you should stop now. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need some advice and after reading some of the forums, this seems a good place as in the main, I've seen some useful feedback

I joined fab last week and never completed a profile and I'm not sure the site is for me (the sex seems a little too casual for MY liking)

I would like to find myself a friend with benefits. As a woman I would like to feel sexy, desired, wanted and to enjoy some very passionate sex.

Am I deluded - am I asking for too much because these guys are like rocking horse poo and I'm not sure they even exist

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By *artnersi in crimeCouple over a year ago

Camberley/Huntingdon

]
"Hello and welcome to the site and the forums,

Sorry to hear you felt this way after your first experience!

Whilst there may be gents out there who will offer you what you want, most of us are on here for NSA fun! Maybe say on your profile that your seeking a FWB,

Good luck "

What does FWB mean? X

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Fuck/Wank Buddy?

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By * n zCouple over a year ago

leamington spa

Friends With Benefits ........lol

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By *aaLaaWoman over a year ago

Pontesbury

I had some great meets on here, then two that left me feeling used and mildly whorish.

After a bit of a break, I'm now back, but far more fussy than before. I chat a lot online before hand, sometimes I really lick with someone and we have a hotel meet, other times I arrange a social meet first.

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By *eet_the_spartanMan over a year ago

Manchester

Hey, we exist. I'm part of a couple too so I already have a relationship, but I don't see the point in emotionless sex. Building a genuine friendship and becoming intimate with new people is an amazing experience.

Sadly, not many people on here are looking for what we are.

Take my profile for example. I make it clear that I have no interest in 'wham bam' sex. The result? People contact me, having not read my profile and then block me when I tell them I'm not meeting them for a one night stand.

You can learn all you need to know about what a person is after by the way they talk and the things they say though. My partner and I have made some fantastic friends on here and I'm sure you'll do the same if yo stick it out.

Good luck! x

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By *eet_the_spartanMan over a year ago

Manchester

"]Hello and welcome to the site and the forums,

Sorry to hear you felt this way after your first experience!

Whilst there may be gents out there who will offer you what you want, most of us are on here for NSA fun! Maybe say on your profile that your seeking a FWB,

Good luck

What does FWB mean? X"

Friend/s with benefits x

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