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By *ubyMoon OP Woman
over a year ago
Newport, Isle of Wight |
I've been talking to a friend about the sex club scene and he's interested, but he's a trans man (pre-op) and isn't sure where he'd fit in. I reccomended regular bi swingers clubs (he's further north than me, so definitely has easier access to them) but he's mostly interested in men and loves the idea of a gay sauna experience.
Do you guys think he'd be welcomed in a place like that? I don't want to dash his dreams but, like, most of the mens swinger/gay clubs seem to really lean on the imagery of dicks and pecs and traditional masculine stuff and I'd hate for him to get turned away or get dirty looks from the other men there.
Any advice welcome, If there are specific clubs people know are welcoming I'll pass the information on. |
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"Club Play in Blackpool and the Attic in Derby are two very inclusive club's. As long as you're a human being you're welcomed." I think the OP’ s friend isn’t looking for inclusive, but rather a club/sauna exclusive to men.
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I think their best bet is to find the clubs and contact them to ask the question directly. I’ve never seen a trans man in any of the all-male clubs I’ve been to, and I suspect that even if they were welcomed they may run into the obstacle of most gay and bi men being sexually interested in male genitals.
I would second the point about Club Play in Blackpool. Very inclusive and they have a bi night coming up. I suspect your friend is more likely to feel welcome somewhere like that than in an all-male club / sauna, at least while they are pre-op. |
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Likewise think the best way is to contact clubs direct and have a Frank conversation. Not only does this help him know if he'd be technically welcome, it also gives him a vibe for the club and its staff. All clubs are different and you want to go somewhere you feel welcome and comfortable in. |
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I am close to a transmasc man. He's finished all his surgeries now, but he did say that it was a mixed reaction at the gay sauna when he was still pre-op. He didn't face open hostility as such, but there were definitely people who didn't welcome the original genitalia, and there were also people who did welcome it.
He also made sure to call and check it was okay with the owners before attending any he hadn't been to before, but was never told no, though some were obviously not keen on the idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been curious about this the other way round. I saw a women only/lesbian event advertised and I pondered if I would be welcome. I've decided against it just now though as I get enough weird looks anyway and I don't want to feel like I'm not welcome.
Best of luck to you, whatever you decide. But yes, definitely call the club ahead of time to find out the policy xx |
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In my experience of clubs ‘we’ as in the T of LGBT, tend to be the one that is perhaps least welcome across a spectrum of events, and need to check and select that we are welcome before going.
Some clubs will actively steer us away from routine swinging events, and whilst personally have never been to a ‘normal’ event, I.e. couples / women / men (many of whom will have bi experiences whilst there), have met those that have, and clearly we are perhaps not what they want - irrespective of the effort made, and the sometimes fab level of femininity achieved.
I do think that lesbian clubs and events, are perhaps the worst and least tolerant of us. I did once go to one in Manchester, and was faced with open hostility! … not exactly inclusive!
I tend to go to clubs within the realms of bi-nights. It is perhaps the safest, and diverse environment to be in, where every part of the LGBT spectrum is embraced and celebrated.
R xx
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