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Appropriate clothes for a social
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old  |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Understandable if they’re on their way back from the gym. Although why you’d want to do a social after the gym is anyone’s guess.
Don’t think we’ve ever discussed what people would be wearing to a social in advance though! |
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I'd be willing to bet some of the younger generation would turn up to a regular date in gym gear though.
Personally I want to look nice. Not overly sexy. But smart and a little enticing
I once had a regular date turn up in his crappy work clothes and I wasn't impressed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Penny - Summer dress that shows a little leg and cleavage but just enough to sell the goods
Mav - Jean's or smart shorts and collared t-shirt, again, just enough to show his bodyshape.
We would wear enough that we wouldn't look out of place in both a resteraunt or nice bar, it would also be easy enough access that if we all got along amazingly and hands could later slip where the shouldn't. |
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"
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old "
If you were saying meeting a married person (and you knew) and you were going to meet them in the gym/hotel bar for a quick social, I see nothing wrong with that. Likewise if the only time which worked for you both was gym time etc I don't see the issue.
If you're specifically going on a social as in a date, then clearly gym gear isn't suitable.
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old
If you were saying meeting a married person (and you knew) and you were going to meet them in the gym/hotel bar for a quick social, I see nothing wrong with that. Likewise if the only time which worked for you both was gym time etc I don't see the issue.
If you're specifically going on a social as in a date, then clearly gym gear isn't suitable.
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The plan was a social in a nice hotel bar. They were not staying at the hotel so could not have gone to hotel gym.
It could be one of two things; either they thought gym clothes were fine on a date which means we’re probably too old for them or they can’t be bothered dressing up because they reckon sex is guaranteed so no reason to put any effort into looking nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally a first meet is just a walk so jeans are fine, otherwise I’ll only meet in clubs where I tend to be naked so clothing doesn’t really factor in
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Ha I realise I am probably an outlier here, but being an extreme fetish exhibitionist my problem is toning it down rather than dressing up LOL 
I really push the envelope in pretty well all situations, including vanilla, but I make that very clear in advance so any third party knows what to expect.
My particular quirk aside, I agree that a bit of effort is both polite and shows a degree of commitment. We know why we are meeting so wouldn't people want to add a bit of spice by making an effort? The flirtation and teasing is all port of it, but gym gear doesn't exactly shout either forethought or sensuality.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old "
At my last social I was a sweaty barrel in sweaty shorts and sweaty t-shirt.  |
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"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old "
Maybe for them you were just "something to do" on their way from the gym or to the gym and not worth putting any effort in?
I think my "date" or social or whatever would end up rather quickly if someone turned up in gym gear or, god forbid, fluffy pompom slippers! Hate those things with vengeance, they belong in the lounge of your home, not on a date/out shopping. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"Smart casual "
True! Shows you're making an effort but...
I do Smart Casual at a family gathering...
If it was a FabSwingers social, I'll be Smart "Sexy" Casual. You know, like a figure hugging bodycon dress with a bright brassy zip down the back that is saying...
... Unzip me... |
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"Smart casual
True! Shows you're making an effort but...
I do Smart Casual at a family gathering...
If it was a FabSwingers social, I'll be Smart "Sexy" Casual. You know, like a figure hugging bodycon dress with a bright brassy zip down the back that is saying...
... Unzip me..."
Now that would be a sight.  |
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"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old "
For many appearances are everything, for me I’d dress to the vibe of the evening.
You’d never see me in gym kit unless we were in a gym! |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old
Maybe for them you were just "something to do" on their way from the gym or to the gym and not worth putting any effort in?
I think my "date" or social or whatever would end up rather quickly if someone turned up in gym gear or, god forbid, fluffy pompom slippers! Hate those things with vengeance, they belong in the lounge of your home, not on a date/out shopping. "
Agreed. You don’t want to look like you’re at a wedding and meeting Jimmy Saville.
It’s like a date. You should make an effort in our opinion. |
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I would agree with smart casual. I have met men in dirty work wear but they have been on lunch break or whatever and it was only coffee. But then I like a tradesman looking a little rough. 
It all depends. I've also met people on my way to work so been in work clothes but I work in smart casual wear anyways. So no difference.
Also some men rarely wear jeans so as long as they look presentable in nice joggers then that isn't a problem. |
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By *empted23Couple
over a year ago
countryside |
We would say make in smart jeans and a shirt female in a dress or some version of weather appropriate
I’ve got enough to flaunt but I’m only hinting at it attire in winter
If our person turned up in Gym gear or work clothes we would probably have a shorter social but take the person of the possible play list |
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"I would agree with smart casual. I have met men in dirty work wear but they have been on lunch break or whatever and it was only coffee. But then I like a tradesman looking a little rough.
It all depends. I've also met people on my way to work so been in work clothes but I work in smart casual wear anyways. So no difference.
Also some men rarely wear jeans so as long as they look presentable in nice joggers then that isn't a problem. "
If I knew it was a quick meet in their work day I'd be cool with it
And yeah . Tradesmen in shorts and boots. Yummy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve rocked up in my shorts a T-shirt combo in the past.
It’s a social, I’ve asked if it’s ok, they’ve said yes. No drama.
Being all dresssy n stuff is just one more thing to get stressed and anxious over. Just be comfortable. |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
If I meet for a social then it is usually for just a coffee or drink in a pub, then I would wear smart casual, if I really wanted to impress maybe shirt and trousers.
Occasionally I have met someone where I come straight from work, then I warn them I shall be in my scruffs. Whatever I have worn for the social meet I have always been asked to meet at a later date, so I guess it's personality rather than clothes. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Understandable if they’re on their way back from the gym. Although why you’d want to do a social after the gym is anyone’s guess.
Don’t think we’ve ever discussed what people would be wearing to a social in advance though!"
Disagree. Only if they are on their way to the gym after the date with literally no time to change (e.g. they have a class starting at specific time). After gym, we shower and change, we would not go to a date and expect to make a good impression all sweaty after a good workout.
Smart-casual, like for a date, ensuring it's clear we have made an effort so we appreciate their time and meeting us. |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Glad to see we are not being silly in most people’s view.
It was a single guy social some 25 miles from his home in a nice hotel bar. He’s was not staying at the hotel and it was not his gym. We casually talked online about what we wear to socials and he said gym gear.
As others have said to us this is lazy or worse maybe he’s pretending he’s popping to the gym to his partner; stranger things have happened .
We’re generally smart casual and like the same so we cancelled the meet with him as we’d be wasting his time. Just not compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Glad to see we are not being silly in most people’s view.
It was a single guy social some 25 miles from his home in a nice hotel bar. He’s was not staying at the hotel and it was not his gym. We casually talked online about what we wear to socials and he said gym gear.
As others have said to us this is lazy or worse maybe he’s pretending he’s popping to the gym to his partner; stranger things have happened .
We’re generally smart casual and like the same so we cancelled the meet with him as we’d be wasting his time. Just not compatible. "
Fair point about using the gym as an excuse to get out of the house without a partner knowing. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
I would go smart casual.
It's about making a good impression.
If the person I was meeting turned up in gym gear, it may be that that's what they feel comfortable in etc, but it would send me the message that they weren't really interested.
I look at it as another filter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends where you're meeting someone, it would feel a bit weird to turn up in a shirt and trousers for a chat in a Starbucks (unless you've just finished work of course). |
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"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.
Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old "
Use it as a filter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely it depends on the location, occasion and expectation.
Obviously many more aspects but dress up I say... Why not?
better to be dressed up than dressed down
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A first meet is a time to look, and feel your best.
If you’re wearing ill fitting clothes, or looking like you’d not given much thought to your outfit it will show in the way you carry yourself. Especially if the other person has taken time to look their best.
I’d rather be overdressed than underdressed personally. I’d never wear trousers or jeans to a first meet. I did wear smart trainers to a meet once. With a dress at that. It was out of necessity as I wouldn’t have been able to walk in heels that day. Normally, I always wear heels, and a dress to a social meet. |
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Surely a shirt and smart jeans would be OK. Guess it depends on how poss the venue you were meeting at was
