FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Feeling completely undesirable atm
Feeling completely undesirable atm
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Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight". |
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One thing I recommend for guys is to get a camera with a time delay. That way you can put on a nice suit and a smile, stand confidently, and then have the camera take a picture without the "holding the iphone" pose. Ladies like men in suits
What you have on your profile is good so far. better than many I've read. I;d recommend adding to it any hobbies/interests, plus anything else people suggest here, but I wouldn't take out any of the stuff you already have in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d just take a step back mate and take a look at your life, decide what you want and how to get it. You sound depressed I’ve just made a life altering decision myself that I’m struggling with but it needs to be done your a good looking fella with a good body and you seem to have good character,i do wonder if swinging is really the thing for you right now though. I met the love of my life on a dating app and now we’re swinging happily my advice get off here and get yourself out there pubs clubs dating apps and find happiness. Good luck bud you’ll get there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
Although looks are not everything they are the first thing; this is something that I know about a huge amount. I am ugly, psoriasis and eczema have cursed me for years and I do get lonely. Yet I have had some pretty cool encounters over the years.
Don't expect anything or panic either. Keep piccing and posting, get out there loads and I'm sure you will have some good times. I hope that will be good enough for you bud |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
attraction is every thing visual and personality with this scene ... i would say take a break until you feel better about yourself ... this scene can be the worse place for a guy to be if they have no confidence ... hope you feel better soon |
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Plus the great lie , is looking for this that , trouble they want the opposite of you or bi. Male mafia step in , or meet with single bi males what they mean is never just couples at a push and unicorn |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
All I can say is ,you aren't the only single bloke who has been on here over a year with zero meets .I myself fall into that category, although after reading a recent forum thread asking why single blokes stay on here after a year with no success , some obviously see us as having no chance of ever having a meet .
Just wanted you to know ,you aren't on your own mate . I have also thought I must be ugly because I've have zero success on here after a year . I know I am never going to get the opportunity of a meet on here . Why do I keep going ? I've no idea .
Good luck mate ,and I hope you have better luck than I have had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d just take a step back mate and take a look at your life, decide what you want and how to get it. You sound depressed I’ve just made a life altering decision myself that I’m struggling with but it needs to be done your a good looking fella with a good body and you seem to have good character,i do wonder if swinging is really the thing for you right now though. I met the love of my life on a dating app and now we’re swinging happily my advice get off here and get yourself out there pubs clubs dating apps and find happiness. Good luck bud you’ll get there x"
He does sound very low mood. OP, I’d say for now try and relax into yourself, don’t even think about meeting or letting others dictate your self worth - no one can ‘make’ you feel any way. Even if others were constantly singing your praises you’d still at times hear those dissenting voices from within. Start by building connections, everything will flow naturally from those. You’ll just know when you’ve found your tribe
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With a lot of guys here(most?),you just have to accept that your never going to have fun again,the girls ain't interested. I've had one meet in 15 years and that was 2015. Given it my best shot over time,as you all probably have, but it doesn't do any good, so I think it's best to realise how miniscule your chances are. |
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Hi OP. I think everyone goes through ups and downs. The main thing is that you've seen you're in a low point. The site may not be the best for confidence. The best thing I did was stop looking for validation in others. I started looking at myself naked more and started actually looking at others. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways. Not everyone has a model body etc. It doesn't matter most of the time I've found. I rarely end up with the "look type".
Rather than seeking validation on here, is there not other things or hobbies you can get pleasure from and a relationship be a side gig, so to speak. Learn to love yourself again and the best way is through things that make you happy.
I do hope things improve for you OP. |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
OP I read this and thought this is less about this place and swinging and more about things more generally. Also sounds like you have some demons from the past on this subject and are depressed about it. This place is not the best if you are in that state of mind and I would focus on other options and life more generally.
Some of how you describe things could apply to me. I was the ugly ginger kid at school and bullied and it affected me deeply through teens and twenties and sometimes still does. But I can assure you with the right state of mind you will find the right person for longer-term and lots of short-term swinging opportunities. I've grown into myself as I've got older and think I look better than most of my age. Just do what you can to care for yourself mentally and physically - exercise, groom, wear nice clothes, etc. Oh and if you do have a ginger complex trust me lots and lots of ladies out there that love ginger men  |
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By *Cups32Woman
over a year ago
Colne |
I get exactly how you're feeling...
4 dates in 4.5 years. I want for nothing more than to be settled in a relationship but it seems to escape me... Why? I wish I knew but it does leave me feeling undesirable.
The feeling comes and goes in waves usually accompanied by bouts of loneliness but I just accept it and move on.
What will be will be. |
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Hi guys just want to say I've read all your posts and want to thank you all for taking the time out to interact with my post.
It's very fair to say I wasn't in the best of moods last night and i was definitely not seeking any sympathy or validation from anyone I just needed to express how i was feeling in that moment, your advice was very fair and logical and now its up to me to try and take it all on board and hopefully things may change or may not but I do know that I at least have to try and feel content within myself before I have any hope of achieving anything more than I already have right now in life.
And to anyone else feeling similar to me i just want you know you are certainly not alone and your feelings are completely valid but as cliché as it sounds every cloud has a sliver lining, its always there you just have to find it. |
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"With a lot of guys here(most?),you just have to accept that your never going to have fun again,the girls ain't interested. I've had one meet in 15 years and that was 2015. Given it my best shot over time,as you all probably have, but it doesn't do any good, so I think it's best to realise how miniscule your chances are."
THIS 100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With a lot of guys here(most?),you just have to accept that your never going to have fun again,the girls ain't interested. I've had one meet in 15 years and that was 2015. Given it my best shot over time,as you all probably have, but it doesn't do any good, so I think it's best to realise how miniscule your chances are.
THIS 100%"
Seconded. |
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"With a lot of guys here(most?),you just have to accept that your never going to have fun again,the girls ain't interested. I've had one meet in 15 years and that was 2015. Given it my best shot over time,as you all probably have, but it doesn't do any good, so I think it's best to realise how miniscule your chances are.
THIS 100%
Seconded."
I think you have to remember that fab is not a reflection of real life though.
On here the men and couples outnumber women significantly. Therefore the chances of a meet are much reduced.
I'm sorry you guys are feeling dejected and it us affecting your self image/worth.
MrsAbz |
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"After several years of trying dating sites etc I find it best to just accept that I’m not attractive to the opposite sex in any way. "
Some positive criticism. Your whole profile is self defeating and negative- why would you expect someone to like you if you don’t like yourself?
Saying that you’re treating fab as a porn site isn’t going to generate interest from prospective friends  |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
I think most males, especially young ones have felt like this at times, a feeling no doubt amplified by the myths created by your socials that everyone you know is happy, together, successful and constantly having a great time. My advice, based on nothing more than being considerably older, is that life gets easier and better with age. You have many opportunities to reinvent yourself. If you are genuinely single and only looking to meet women for relationship free sex, I would suggest this is absolutely not the place to be as a young man. There are lots of women out there looking for what you are, the odds of finding them are so much better in the real world or in regular dating sites. Just be honest upfront in what you seek. Another alternative is traditional dating where you get to have lots of sex with one person rather than very occasional sex with a small number over a long period of time here. Most importantly, never listen to all the negative people who love to jump on threads such as this telling you men who aren’t ripped, good looking, black, hung, young, rich or any other variable they consider themselves to lack have no chance. Positivity is the most important characteristic along with being genuinely interested in other people and really enjoying the company of women. Be funny too. It worked for me anyway. People want to be with positive people. I made a conscious decision to be positive (I hadn’t been previously), probably at a time when I was feeling like you do now. Look forward not back, make plans for the future, embrace change, don’t blame others for your failings, learn to love yourself, don’t beat yourself up if you do fail, enjoy all the little things like a beautiful sunset. The best thing I ever did was force myself to become a more positive person. It changed my life. For some context, I am generally a cynical old sod who has never read a self help book in my life. I hope you feel more positive, very soon. |
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I just wanted to say regarding the psoriasis I completely understand your feelings on this i too suffer with it on about 50 percent of my body so I get why this affecting how you feel about yourself xx |
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In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here . |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
I've met and had relationships with loads of gorgeous, sexy, beautiful women - I would suggest you put your phone down and get out there. Do some charity work or help in your local community. Join an art class, a writing class or a language class. Or as others have said, try a swinger's club.
Real Life - that's where you'll find the Real Beauties. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here ."
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K |
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"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K"
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ? |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. "
Hi OP,
Shit happens and you’ll be over it soon.
Want a boost? Hire your self a h00k3r? Don’t have money for that - go to gay club or sauna, as a young fit man you’ll get lots of attention, millions of compliments and if you want few blow jobs you never have before. |
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"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?"
Its to make you happier if ypu think having them will make you a poonhound |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?"
Well, yes. If you think of humans as somewhat a blank canvas, able to evolve in whatever way they like to a certain extent - why wouldn’t you? To attract what you want, potentially making you happier - changes have to be made. Or you can stay in a rut, blaming everyone else  |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?"
Of course not, but you seem to think it's a requirement on here.
PS. It isn't. |
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"I’d just take a step back mate and take a look at your life, decide what you want and how to get it. You sound depressed I’ve just made a life altering decision myself that I’m struggling with but it needs to be done your a good looking fella with a good body and you seem to have good character,i do wonder if swinging is really the thing for you right now though. I met the love of my life on a dating app and now we’re swinging happily my advice get off here and get yourself out there pubs clubs dating apps and find happiness. Good luck bud you’ll get there x"
Good advice. Me and john met on a dating site. Now we are here  . Take time out op to see if this lifestyle is really for you and take time to clear your mind. Joanne. |
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This scene can be extremely harsh on everyone. Don’t beat yourself up about not getting meets off it.
I would recommend some time away from the site if it is causing you to feel bad about yourself. Join a few clubs, take up group hobbies etc. these are better ways to meet women and nice ones at the that . A lot on here only meet people who fall into a certain criteria and can be down heartening being ignored or rejected frequently.
Missy xxx |
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"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?Well, yes. If you think of humans as somewhat a blank canvas, able to evolve in whatever way they like to a certain extent - why wouldn’t you? To attract what you want, potentially making you happier - changes have to be made. Or you can stay in a rut, blaming everyone else "
I accept people for what they are. I don't judge people on their bodies . I love "Natural "bodies , people who embrace what they have without feeling the need to change their bodies just to suit others. Have we now become a vain society where people expect others to "work out " just to attract attention. ? |
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"so feel you on this. I know it’s selfish but i’m just tired of life. People say talk about your feelings. Then when you do people just say “Just ignore it” "
It is difficult to read nuance in a short post here but it sounds like you need some help you won’t find here. Why not speak to your GP or find some online resources and people to speak to about how you are feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
Don't apologise for how your feeling your thoughts and beliefs are yours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?Well, yes. If you think of humans as somewhat a blank canvas, able to evolve in whatever way they like to a certain extent - why wouldn’t you? To attract what you want, potentially making you happier - changes have to be made. Or you can stay in a rut, blaming everyone else
I accept people for what they are. I don't judge people on their bodies . I love "Natural "bodies , people who embrace what they have without feeling the need to change their bodies just to suit others. Have we now become a vain society where people expect others to "work out " just to attract attention. ? "
Well concentrate on the ones that might want you.
Leave the body beautiful ones to each other - there’s a place for all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?Well, yes. If you think of humans as somewhat a blank canvas, able to evolve in whatever way they like to a certain extent - why wouldn’t you? To attract what you want, potentially making you happier - changes have to be made. Or you can stay in a rut, blaming everyone else
I accept people for what they are. I don't judge people on their bodies . I love "Natural "bodies , people who embrace what they have without feeling the need to change their bodies just to suit others. Have we now become a vain society where people expect others to "work out " just to attract attention. ? "
Because it's you who keeps banging on about it. Almost every time I've seen you comment, it's about this. If it bothers you so much, do something about it cause moaning every chance you get isnt going to get you a mercy shag. I'm 100% certain it's not your physical attributes that prevent you getting meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here .
The first four on your list are all attainable if you really think that . . . . .
K
But ,should someone have to change what God have them to make others happy. ?Well, yes. If you think of humans as somewhat a blank canvas, able to evolve in whatever way they like to a certain extent - why wouldn’t you? To attract what you want, potentially making you happier - changes have to be made. Or you can stay in a rut, blaming everyone else
I accept people for what they are. I don't judge people on their bodies . I love "Natural "bodies , people who embrace what they have without feeling the need to change their bodies just to suit others. Have we now become a vain society where people expect others to "work out " just to attract attention. ?
Because it's you who keeps banging on about it. Almost every time I've seen you comment, it's about this. If it bothers you so much, do something about it cause moaning every chance you get isnt going to get you a mercy shag. I'm 100% certain it's not your physical attributes that prevent you getting meets."
This. It’s almost as though he wants people to change their preferences for him, but god forbid he changes for them |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
1) confidence is attractive. In person it radiates and makes up for other deficiencies.
2) it is proven women like men who other women are seen with. It gives you status and implied value. Be seen with a mixed group that includes women having a good time and then meet people around you as part of that.
3) lose the beard
4) Join the gym and eat 2700 calories a day for the next 6 weeks including about 100g of protein a day.
5) eat out alone somewhere once a week and try to have friendly banter with the staff. You will improve your confidence and people skills
You will feel much more confident if you can do all those things. |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight".
1) confidence is attractive. In person it radiates and makes up for other deficiencies.
2) it is proven women like men who other women are seen with. It gives you status and implied value. Be seen with a mixed group that includes women having a good time and then meet people around you as part of that.
3) lose the beard
4) Join the gym and eat 2700 calories a day for the next 6 weeks including about 100g of protein a day.
5) eat out alone somewhere once a week and try to have friendly banter with the staff. You will improve your confidence and people skills
You will feel much more confident if you can do all those things."
Your point 4.
I just do not get this whole gym, bulk up thing. Am I missing something, and I didn't realise that gym membership comes with a guatenteed shag promise.? |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight".
1) confidence is attractive. In person it radiates and makes up for other deficiencies.
2) it is proven women like men who other women are seen with. It gives you status and implied value. Be seen with a mixed group that includes women having a good time and then meet people around you as part of that.
3) lose the beard
4) Join the gym and eat 2700 calories a day for the next 6 weeks including about 100g of protein a day.
5) eat out alone somewhere once a week and try to have friendly banter with the staff. You will improve your confidence and people skills
You will feel much more confident if you can do all those things.
Your point 4.
I just do not get this whole gym, bulk up thing. Am I missing something, and I didn't realise that gym membership comes with a guatenteed shag promise.? "
Isn't to do with that. Exercise is good for endorphins. Boosts serotonin and testosterone production. Mindful practise too. Self confidence increases when you feel fit healthy and strong. In OPs case he is young and seems healthy physically but having a focus for self improvement that involves exercise will help with mental health. |
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"In my time on here ,after having my self confidence battered in my early months of spending time carefully reading profiles and feedback ,and only messaging people who were looking for males my age and who's likes I fitted ,yet never even having any messages read by the people I've contacted , I admit it totally destroyed my self confidence. Then I stopped messaging people ,and spent time researching single guys profiles who have success on Fab ,to try and work out where I was going wrong .
I found that the "successful " single blokes on here fell into the following categories.
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
So ,as the owner of a dad Bob with man boobs ,and having never seen the inside of a gym in my life, I realised why I was getting nowhere on here ,so stopped wasting my time messaging people.
Now I just read the forums on here ."
Granted dave some on here are after-
Gyn Fit
Toned
Six pack
Muscluer
Well Endowed
But not every one. We both prefer average body types and more importantly chilled and down to earth types. I said on your own post the thing id change is your pics as you did not smile in any of them. Positive attracts positive dave. Dress up a bit for your pics to i think i said. Change your profile so you lookmore upbeat and project a positive attitude. Joanne x |
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"Just a vent sorry if this not the place for it but I'm just so tired of feeling im seemingly ugly and unlovable.. I'm sure a lot of guys and gals may feel similar at times.
I'm not sure if there is any real solution to it too other than obviously finding someone who really loves you/or just very attracted to you etc.
I can find positives in my appearance and be cool with it all for a while but theres always a elephant in the room and i think of the smiths song 'I know its over' which sums up the feeling all too well - "if your so very entertaining, clever and good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight"."
Every one has lifes stresses and pressures which take us on a roller coaster ride on times in life. You're a good looking lad so don't be so hard on yourself ok. Fab is hard for ladies and cpls on times as we all cannot be every ones cup of tea. We are in to the swinging lifestyle but only dip in and out of fab when life lets us as we have bigger fish to fry with kids, jobs and stresses outside of fab. Id take a break op and concentrate on what is dragging you down off here as if you are not in a good mental state from other things off here fab will just eat you up and drag you down further. I see nothing wrong with you personally and you look like a very datable guy. Chill out and concentrate and getting yourself back on form then either look to date a lady or come back on here when you know you are mentally strong enough ok. Hope you feel better in yourself soon. Joanne x |
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