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Single male 101 guide to Fab
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" So seeing the endless threads of single males wondering why they are not having any luck on the site and complaining they are not getting a meet. I thought I'll write a short guide based on forum advice and my own experience. No I don't pretend to be an authority on the matter nor am I going to mislead you by saying following this advice will mean you shag any women you wanted which is both patronising and condisending. But I have been on the site on/off since 2015." So your a male and you have just started or you have been here a year or so now and don't seem to be having much success? (Well what do you define as success?), Or seem to be getting meets. There maybe a reason for the last. Many men forget the insane ratios of men to women. one estimate put it at 1:74 although many couple or single female may state otherwise. That means you are in competition with potentially 100 other men for attention of a few. (but don't come across competitive that is a turn off) Photos --------- Upload a variety of photos that is not just one eyed trouser snake at varoiuse locations and angles. A good rule of thumb is to put your most explicit photo as frends only and the least explicit at public. Hopefully that will make people want to add you as a freind to see more. Make sure you have a profile picture. Picture siloettes aren't appealing. Profile --------- Profile keep clear fun bright and polite. Cleerly stating your likes dislikes and why you are here. The profile is as long as it needs to be and as short as necessary. Some prefer long profiles and other prefer short and straight to the point. Messaging ------------ Read the profile Make sure you are what they are looking for and they they are what you are looking for. Try commenting on things about there profile. Or pictures they have uploaded to show that you have actually read it. Some profiles will have a code word which they expect you to use in the subject. To show that you have read the profile. When messaging avoid sending dick pics unless asked to. Cosmo UK one described the female fab experience as a "boat navigating through an ocean of dic pics". Sending a cock is not going to separate you from the other guys sending dick pics. Also try and avoid message roulette. This is where a guy trys to message everyone in a vain hope that it will increase his chances. Warning it doesn't. You better off messaging profiles where you meet the requirements rather than using rail gun approach and hoping to score. If a profile says no single males "then don't send a massage". Bh using a rail gun approach you are also waiting your own time, while minimising your chances. I was at a social where it turned out a guy had sent a template to 3 women who all knew each other. So they were all laughing their heads off at him. Some people are ok with messages to convo other are not and highly sceptical of the desighns of a man who messages or the blue trying to create a convo. Normally they will write this in their about section. For some fab is just about sex, do your message to them is a propersotion for sex. Fit others is is not. Socials --------- The term swinging comes from the word wife swapping a term popularised in the 70s. It was an underground affair, requiring classified adds and upside down pineapples. Now days we have ditched the keys in the fish bowl and replaced it the keys with a cocktail in the fish bowl bought over a bar at a social. Swinging; even in the age of the web is meant to be played out in IRL. It's a social affair. There different types of activaties. Meets = a meeting with a couple or a single female (the holy grail for some) note this does not mean that swinging will take place. I was lucky I had my first meet in the 1st couple of month I joined the site, we watched interstellar (suddenly everyone is doing the maths) we did not play. Socials = these often take place in vannila locations and are no play but are a great way to network and meets couples and singles females. 'sex' clubs = venues where swingers party Swinging is not only about sex but about socialising. And networking. Not everyone will become freinds but they're is the potential to build strong relationships with people who can help you. Foristance I know someone who needed a photographer to take pro shots for his business and just happened to know from fab to help him with it. (Note that not everyone wants to be friends, and may want to keep private life completly separate [Mardi gra effect]). Networking aside socials can also help one to get noticed. If couples and singles see you on the scene and see you are respectful, mature and gentlemenly. Your more likely to play, especially with people they know and trust. Wiks, chat and forums ---_------------- Another good way to show ones personality is through the forums and chat petite can get a good idea and actually see you if using chat to gauge your personality. Winks are like saying hay I like your profile without saying it. Although the letter is the least likely meathord. Don't knock it. It's another tool in the Armoury. Not however since profiles will state no cam or winks. So I hope that glorious everyone. Of you see one struggling then send them this forum link. I am also snake too chatty with of you need advice. | |||
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"Brilliant write up "Thabks I hope it's helps people even if it's only one person. | |||
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"Brilliant write up Thabks I hope it's helps people even if it's only one person. "I do enjoy your thoughtful replies/posts. Nothing to add on topic though, sorry MrzAbz | |||
"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules " This is so true. | |||
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"Second. Don’t be a twat. You’re there to add to their experience not to gain your own." Don't be a twat is the single best piece of advise to anyone on this site regardless of sexuality or gender identity. | |||
"Lots of great advice in there regarding fab. Best bit of advice I could ever give a single guy is go to clubs. Meet people. There are far too many fake people on fab. Clubs sort out the genuine from the fake and couples or singles feel safe in that environment. Second. Don’t be a twat. You’re there to add to their experience not to gain your own. As a single guy it is all about them. Respect that. Third. Just because people swing don’t mean they are going to shag you. Have respect. The husband is in charge. " That's also fantastic advice, which got me thinking of things I might have missed. Like when messaging a couple assume or address both of the individuals not just one of them as you may never know which 1/2 of the couple you are talking to. | |||
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Single men also need to go in with a thick skin.
You are essentially opening yourself up and there will be a lot of rejection, it can knock the confidence out of even the most confident. | |||
"Brilliant write up Thabks I hope it's helps people even if it's only one person. "Some good advice in this. We did something similar a few months ago "Advice for Single Guys". Unfortunately, even some of those who read it, agreed with it, then commented on the thread, still have crap pictures and write up.  | |||
"Nice write-up
Single men also need to go in with a thick skin.
You are essentially opening yourself up and there will be a lot of rejection, it can knock the confidence out of even the most confident."100% | |||
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"Nice write-up
Single men also need to go in with a thick skin.
You are essentially opening yourself up and there will be a lot of rejection, it can knock the confidence out of even the most confident."Well ,I definitely have a 100% rejection rate in my time on here . (I await the usual responses of go to a club or organised social  | |||
"Do you not think it’s better for people to be themselves rather than following a set of rules and possibly giving a false impression of themselves? You’re giving men a list of do’s and don’ts that will help them attract people but it’s a short term fix because they will reveal their true personalities eventually. If someone is selfish and inconsiderate they won’t read someone’s profile before sending a message but you’re telling them to read it and reference it to give the recipient the impression they’re a considerate and selfless person….but they’re not…the recipient will have a false impression of that person and may reply based on that false impression….eventually they’ll see that the man is selfish and inconsiderate but they’ll have wasted time talking to him before they do. " I do belive in being ones self, none the less there is also an ettiquette in any cultural phenomenon. What I'm trying to say they're is nothing wrong or disengeniouse with taking advice even from a guide. Especially if the individual reading it taylors the advice to there own needs. Not all advice will work for everyone. But if it helps to maximize theirability to sell themselves respectfully of others then they is a good thing. And if someone learns respect, and to read a profile. Is that not a good thing for all? [Quote] I am going to say something that is going to sound really controversial…. I hate guides like this….. Although well intended, what may work for one person may not work for someone else! If we argue that being unique should be one of your selling points what this does is give people the template for bland! What this also does is a couple of different things : 1) you make it much harder for those single guy’s who do get it to stand out 2) you make it easier for people to be fooled (you gave the time waster the template) 3) you made it harder for couples to work out who stands out… and which people are likely to be for them! For all the faults with the site at the moment the thing you can do is your sifting pretty quick Advice literally should boil down to time, patience and basic common sense… if you need to be spoonfed an entire guide, then swinging probably isn’t for them! The biggest thing is people need to help themselves “help themselves!” Again… common sense! Talk to people… common sense! Sell yourself…. Common sense Don’t be an arse….. do people really need to be told[Quote/] You name a few good limitations, limitations with any guide. None the less I have to disagree with you done aspects. Unfortunately the (soft) skills you mentioned above don't always come naturally. Common sense is only common when a majority of people behave a certain way. Other wise it is not common sense. And I'm not being condisending saying that. As long as the intended audience reads and adapts the advice to their own individual needs.like someone adapting advice to write a personalised CV. Alas some of the people who need to read things like this will not see nor read it. In terms of blandness maybe, but thing change. Software changes our behaviours and we also change the tech thusly effecting how software is used. Thusly online cultural norms change. And guide will eventually go out of date. Having to then be replaced with a more up to date guide based on user expectations and current user etiquette in the future. | |||
"Brilliant write up Thabks I hope it's helps people even if it's only one person.
Some good advice in this. We did something similar a few months ago "Advice for Single Guys".
Unfortunately, even some of those who read it, agreed with it, then commented on the thread, still have crap pictures and write up. "I will give this a read. | |||
" So seeing the endless threads of single males wondering why they are not having any luck on the site and complaining they are not getting a meet. I thought I'll write a short guide based on forum advice and my own experience. No I don't pretend to be an authority on the matter nor am I going to mislead you by saying following this advice will mean you shag any women you wanted which is both patronising and condisending. But I have been on the site on/off since 2015. So your a male and you have just started or you have been here a year or so now and don't seem to be having much success? (Well what do you define as success?), Or seem to be getting meets. There maybe a reason for the last. Many men forget the insane ratios of men to women. one estimate put it at 1:74 although many couple or single female may state otherwise. That means you are in competition with potentially 100 other men for attention of a few. (but don't come across competitive that is a turn off) Photos --------- Upload a variety of photos that is not just one eyed trouser snake at varoiuse locations and angles. A good rule of thumb is to put your most explicit photo as frends only and the least explicit at public. Hopefully that will make people want to add you as a freind to see more. Make sure you have a profile picture. Picture siloettes aren't appealing. Profile --------- Profile keep clear fun bright and polite. Cleerly stating your likes dislikes and why you are here. The profile is as long as it needs to be and as short as necessary. Some prefer long profiles and other prefer short and straight to the point. Messaging ------------ Read the profile Make sure you are what they are looking for and they they are what you are looking for. Try commenting on things about there profile. Or pictures they have uploaded to show that you have actually read it. Some profiles will have a code word which they expect you to use in the subject. To show that you have read the profile. When messaging avoid sending dick pics unless asked to. Cosmo UK one described the female fab experience as a "boat navigating through an ocean of dic pics". Sending a cock is not going to separate you from the other guys sending dick pics. Also try and avoid message roulette. This is where a guy trys to message everyone in a vain hope that it will increase his chances. Warning it doesn't. You better off messaging profiles where you meet the requirements rather than using rail gun approach and hoping to score. If a profile says no single males "then don't send a massage". Bh using a rail gun approach you are also waiting your own time, while minimising your chances. I was at a social where it turned out a guy had sent a template to 3 women who all knew each other. So they were all laughing their heads off at him. Some people are ok with messages to convo other are not and highly sceptical of the desighns of a man who messages or the blue trying to create a convo. Normally they will write this in their about section. For some fab is just about sex, do your message to them is a propersotion for sex. Fit others is is not. Socials --------- The term swinging comes from the word wife swapping a term popularised in the 70s. It was an underground affair, requiring classified adds and upside down pineapples. Now days we have ditched the keys in the fish bowl and replaced it the keys with a cocktail in the fish bowl bought over a bar at a social. Swinging; even in the age of the web is meant to be played out in IRL. It's a social affair. There different types of activaties. Meets = a meeting with a couple or a single female (the holy grail for some) note this does not mean that swinging will take place. I was lucky I had my first meet in the 1st couple of month I joined the site, we watched interstellar (suddenly everyone is doing the maths) we did not play. Socials = these often take place in vannila locations and are no play but are a great way to network and meets couples and singles females. 'sex' clubs = venues where swingers party Swinging is not only about sex but about socialising. And networking. Not everyone will become freinds but they're is the potential to build strong relationships with people who can help you. Foristance I know someone who needed a photographer to take pro shots for his business and just happened to know from fab to help him with it. (Note that not everyone wants to be friends, and may want to keep private life completly separate [Mardi gra effect]). Networking aside socials can also help one to get noticed. If couples and singles see you on the scene and see you are respectful, mature and gentlemenly. Your more likely to play, especially with people they know and trust. Wiks, chat and forums ---_------------- Another good way to show ones personality is through the forums and chat petite can get a good idea and actually see you if using chat to gauge your personality. Winks are like saying hay I like your profile without saying it. Although the letter is the least likely meathord. Don't knock it. It's another tool in the Armoury. Not however since profiles will state no cam or winks. So I hope that glorious everyone. Of you see one struggling then send them this forum link. I am also snake too chatty with of you need advice. " Absolutely brilliant. Ive been sent tons of msgs because a lot of guys do the tldr an just look at the pictures! Ive had several straight guys msg just because of an ass pic! | |||
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"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day." A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . | |||
"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall ." Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. | |||
"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. " I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. | |||
"The husband is in charge. " WHAT!!? What century are you living in? If it's not mutually consentual, I'm out! | |||
"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. " What's your definition of a large gathering? I used to go to a swingers social held in Essex's smallest pub; Cornucopia. Which was hired out but a couple. You could only fit about 20 people in the main pub. Not all socials are over 100 people strong. This was a quiet drink amongst friends. | |||
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"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. What's your definition of a large gathering? I used to go to a swingers social held in Essex's smallest pub; Cornucopia. Which was hired out but a couple. You could only fit about 20 people in the main pub. Not all socials are over 100 people strong. This was a quiet drink amongst friends." My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different. | |||
""I'm not verified so I can't get meets" Not usually true, if you hear that a lot as a rejection it's likely that there is a red flag on your profile somewhere. If you push the right buttons people will want to meet you. Tell the truth on your profile and that will come across to people. If you try and hide stuff it will show and turn people off Don't try and be all things to all men, it just makes you look desperate. And remember, couples talk and it is easy to get a reputation, good or bad. Some of the most successful single guys on here aren't Adonis lookalikes, don't have the biggest cock etc. What they have in common is a bunch of swinging friends who are willing to verify them to other couples (and I don't mean leaving a veri) " With respect my experience in over a year on here is totally different. I have found that I can't message over 90% of the people who's like and wants natch mine as I am not meet ver.ified ,which their profile states they require. I'm in no doubt that there are some guys on here who have enjoyed a lot of success due to having a large circle of contacts and swinging friends ,but it just seems that outside of those single guys with the connections ,the rest of us have no chance what so ever (or we are just dog ugly ) | |||
""I'm not verified so I can't get meets" Not usually true, if you hear that a lot as a rejection it's likely that there is a red flag on your profile somewhere. If you push the right buttons people will want to meet you. Tell the truth on your profile and that will come across to people. If you try and hide stuff it will show and turn people off Don't try and be all things to all men, it just makes you look desperate. And remember, couples talk and it is easy to get a reputation, good or bad. Some of the most successful single guys on here aren't Adonis lookalikes, don't have the biggest cock etc. What they have in common is a bunch of swinging friends who are willing to verify them to other couples (and I don't mean leaving a veri) With respect my experience in over a year on here is totally different. I have found that I can't message over 90% of the people who's like and wants natch mine as I am not meet ver.ified ,which their profile states they require. I'm in no doubt that there are some guys on here who have enjoyed a lot of success due to having a large circle of contacts and swinging friends ,but it just seems that outside of those single guys with the connections ,the rest of us have no chance what so ever (or we are just dog ugly )" Maybe because swinging is a social activity? I think a lot of the problem comes from some guys perception of swinging. Its all about networking fella | |||
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"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. What's your definition of a large gathering? I used to go to a swingers social held in Essex's smallest pub; Cornucopia. Which was hired out but a couple. You could only fit about 20 people in the main pub. Not all socials are over 100 people strong. This was a quiet drink amongst friends. My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different." It’s a mindset thing…. Don’t think of it as 1 large meetings, think of it as for example 5-10 small meetings that just happen to be in a confined space 
It feels like you are crossing off some of the easiest ways to get your foot in the door… in a way you are making it deliberately more difficult for yourself than you need to…..
A profile can only tell you so much… if I can meet loads of different people in one night rather than 1 that is also a time management tool for me…
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" So seeing the endless threads of single males wondering why they are not having any luck on the site and complaining they are not getting a meet. I thought I'll write a short guide based on forum advice and my own experience. No I don't pretend to be an authority on the matter nor am I going to mislead you by saying following this advice will mean you shag any women you wanted which is both patronising and condisending. But I have been on the site on/off since 2015. So your a male and you have just started or you have been here a year or so now and don't seem to be having much success? (Well what do you define as success?), Or seem to be getting meets. There maybe a reason for the last. Many men forget the insane ratios of men to women. one estimate put it at 1:74 although many couple or single female may state otherwise. That means you are in competition with potentially 100 other men for attention of a few. (but don't come across competitive that is a turn off) Photos --------- Upload a variety of photos that is not just one eyed trouser snake at varoiuse locations and angles. A good rule of thumb is to put your most explicit photo as frends only and the least explicit at public. Hopefully that will make people want to add you as a freind to see more. Make sure you have a profile picture. Picture siloettes aren't appealing. Profile --------- Profile keep clear fun bright and polite. Cleerly stating your likes dislikes and why you are here. The profile is as long as it needs to be and as short as necessary. Some prefer long profiles and other prefer short and straight to the point. Messaging ------------ Read the profile Make sure you are what they are looking for and they they are what you are looking for. Try commenting on things about there profile. Or pictures they have uploaded to show that you have actually read it. Some profiles will have a code word which they expect you to use in the subject. To show that you have read the profile. When messaging avoid sending dick pics unless asked to. Cosmo UK one described the female fab experience as a "boat navigating through an ocean of dic pics". Sending a cock is not going to separate you from the other guys sending dick pics. Also try and avoid message roulette. This is where a guy trys to message everyone in a vain hope that it will increase his chances. Warning it doesn't. You better off messaging profiles where you meet the requirements rather than using rail gun approach and hoping to score. If a profile says no single males "then don't send a massage". Bh using a rail gun approach you are also waiting your own time, while minimising your chances. I was at a social where it turned out a guy had sent a template to 3 women who all knew each other. So they were all laughing their heads off at him. Some people are ok with messages to convo other are not and highly sceptical of the desighns of a man who messages or the blue trying to create a convo. Normally they will write this in their about section. For some fab is just about sex, do your message to them is a propersotion for sex. Fit others is is not. Socials --------- The term swinging comes from the word wife swapping a term popularised in the 70s. It was an underground affair, requiring classified adds and upside down pineapples. Now days we have ditched the keys in the fish bowl and replaced it the keys with a cocktail in the fish bowl bought over a bar at a social. Swinging; even in the age of the web is meant to be played out in IRL. It's a social affair. There different types of activaties. Meets = a meeting with a couple or a single female (the holy grail for some) note this does not mean that swinging will take place. I was lucky I had my first meet in the 1st couple of month I joined the site, we watched interstellar (suddenly everyone is doing the maths) we did not play. Socials = these often take place in vannila locations and are no play but are a great way to network and meets couples and singles females. 'sex' clubs = venues where swingers party Swinging is not only about sex but about socialising. And networking. Not everyone will become freinds but they're is the potential to build strong relationships with people who can help you. Foristance I know someone who needed a photographer to take pro shots for his business and just happened to know from fab to help him with it. (Note that not everyone wants to be friends, and may want to keep private life completly separate [Mardi gra effect]). Networking aside socials can also help one to get noticed. If couples and singles see you on the scene and see you are respectful, mature and gentlemenly. Your more likely to play, especially with people they know and trust. Wiks, chat and forums ---_------------- Another good way to show ones personality is through the forums and chat petite can get a good idea and actually see you if using chat to gauge your personality. Winks are like saying hay I like your profile without saying it. Although the letter is the least likely meathord. Don't knock it. It's another tool in the Armoury. Not however since profiles will state no cam or winks. So I hope that glorious everyone. Of you see one struggling then send them this forum link. I am also snake too chatty with of you need advice. " This. | |||
" My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different." Given all the advice on this thread and all the advice you've been given on the myriad other threads about this subject: What do you think you can do to improve your situation? After all the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result! What are you going to do? | |||
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" My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different. Given all the advice on this thread and all the advice you've been given on the myriad other threads about this subject: What do you think you can do to improve your situation? After all the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result! What are you going to do? " Tbf the definition of insanity, its doing the same thing, knowing what results your going to be getting... | |||
"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be..." Never said that. In fact I said this: "No I don't pretend to be an authority on the matter nor am I going to mislead you by saying following this advice will mean you shag any women you wanted which is both patronising and condisending. But I have been on the site on/off since 2015."" Btw Jay said Hi. | |||
"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be... Never said that. In fact I said this: No I don't pretend to be an authority on the matter nor am I going to mislead you by saying following this advice will mean you shag any women you wanted which is both patronising and condisending. But I have been on the site on/off since 2015." Btw Jay said Hi." Whom might Jay be then? | |||
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"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be..." I wouldn’t have quite put it like that! I do think it’s bordering on being condescending though….. I get why it does bristle with people because those who get it do get it! And I am not one for spoodfeeding ( the whole “give a man a fish” vs “teach a man to fish” thing) The question is really do people need a big guide when a lot of it really comes down to basic common sense… | |||
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"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be... I wouldn’t have quite put it like that! I do think it’s bordering on being condescending though….. I get why it does bristle with people because those who get it do get it! And I am not one for spoodfeeding ( the whole “give a man a fish” vs “teach a man to fish” thing) The question is really do people need a big guide when a lot of it really comes down to basic common sense… " Absolutely it condescending as well arrogant on a superior level, it's strikes me as a case of if you do what I've done then you'll be as good as me....fuck off with that shit. Like you say its common sense, and having some common decency to treat others how you like to be treated, and some self integrity | |||
"At others have already said advice threads do more harm than good regardless of how they are intended. They create more and more box ticking generic profiles from people who cannot maintain those personas for very long. If someone isn't capable of reading a profile and tailoring their messages to that profile they are hardly going to read a long advice thread. I always find it hilarious that we never see advice threads for women and couples because most of the criticisms aimed at men also apply to single women and couples. No point complaining about the quality of messages received or shitty attitudes from men if you have a lazy profile and/or send entitled demanding introductions. " The last couple of paragraphs are a very good point…. Shouldn’t the guide be applicable to EVERYONE and not just single men ( I wish you could see some of the mail I get, because I don’t think lack of effort is just a single man trait!) A shitty profile is a shitty profile, and a shitty message is a shitty message regardless! I am await the first guide for couples looking for single women and I bet you it wouldn’t probably look a great deal different from what the op wrote! | |||
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""I'm not verified so I can't get meets" Not usually true, if you hear that a lot as a rejection it's likely that there is a red flag on your profile somewhere. If you push the right buttons people will want to meet you. Tell the truth on your profile and that will come across to people. If you try and hide stuff it will show and turn people off Don't try and be all things to all men, it just makes you look desperate. And remember, couples talk and it is easy to get a reputation, good or bad. Some of the most successful single guys on here aren't Adonis lookalikes, don't have the biggest cock etc. What they have in common is a bunch of swinging friends who are willing to verify them to other couples (and I don't mean leaving a veri) With respect my experience in over a year on here is totally different. I have found that I can't message over 90% of the people who's like and wants natch mine as I am not meet ver.ified ,which their profile states they require. I'm in no doubt that there are some guys on here who have enjoyed a lot of success due to having a large circle of contacts and swinging friends ,but it just seems that outside of those single guys with the connections ,the rest of us have no chance what so ever (or we are just dog ugly ) Maybe because swinging is a social activity? I think a lot of the problem comes from some guys perception of swinging. Its all about networking fella "And I do try networking on here .I message where its possible ,I use the chat rooms regularly, but alas to no avail. | |||
"I read all the advice threads I could before I uploaded a single photo, filled out my bio or sent a message. Probably I would have figured it out eventually but it certainly helped things along and when I finally did decide to start attending socials I had 25 verifications in two weeks. There's enough tools on fab to make it possible for everyone to at least come into social contact with people in the scene and as written above some people are just never going to make the effort so I wouldn't worry about giving the wrong people the template. Those people don't actually want to meet. They actively self sabotage to maintain the fantasy. Ideally there would be a pinned post at the top of the page so people wouldn't have to ask the same questions every day. A lot of us unverified single blokes have spent over a year putting effort into contacting people and trying to arrange a meet , yet are met with the usual. "Must have meet verifications ", so we are faced with a brick wall . Yes I've seen many posts authored by you on this subject and I've seen lots and lots of advice in the replies. At the end of the day it's your choice to not attend a social or a club. I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. What's your definition of a large gathering? I used to go to a swingers social held in Essex's smallest pub; Cornucopia. Which was hired out but a couple. You could only fit about 20 people in the main pub. Not all socials are over 100 people strong. This was a quiet drink amongst friends. My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different. It’s a mindset thing…. Don’t think of it as 1 large meetings, think of it as for example 5-10 small meetings that just happen to be in a confined space
It feels like you are crossing off some of the easiest ways to get your foot in the door… in a way you are making it deliberately more difficult for yourself than you need to…..
A profile can only tell you so much… if I can meet loads of different people in one night rather than 1 that is a-lso a time management tool for me…
"Thanks for your reply, it's really appreciated. I spent years on the scene before I got married And met loads of lovely people through messaging online and arranging meets that way ,But since returning after my divorce just over a year ago, and joining Fab ,I've found that no one seems to arrange meets online ,or one on one socials anymore . Maybe things have changed and it's passed people like me by ,but I never thought I would be met with so many obstacles in trying to make contact with people. As I have always said , clubs and organised socials aren't for me ,but I'd love a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction. | |||
" My preference is a one on one social in a public setting after chatting on here .For me 20 people is a large social gathering and isn't for me . I suppose we are all different. Given all the advice on this thread and all the advice you've been given on the myriad other threads about this subject: What do you think you can do to improve your situation? After all the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result! What are you going to do? Tbf the definition of insanity, its doing the same thing, knowing what results your going to be getting..." Thanks for your reply. I put a great deal of effort into reading people's profiles ,more than once ,before messaging the ones who don't state "Must have meet verifications ", I post regular new ,up to date photos on my profile .so I do make a big effort on here .But I think success on here is only obtainable to a small percentage of single blokes who have the required meet verifications. | |||
"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be... I wouldn’t have quite put it like that! I do think it’s bordering on being condescending though….. I get why it does bristle with people because those who get it do get it! And I am not one for spoodfeeding ( the whole “give a man a fish” vs “teach a man to fish” thing) The question is really do people need a big guide when a lot of it really comes down to basic common sense… Absolutely it condescending as well arrogant on a superior level, it's strikes me as a case of if you do what I've done then you'll be as good as me....fuck off with that shit. Like you say its common sense, and having some common decency to treat others how you like to be treated, and some self integrity " With respect, its easy to hold that view when you have 40 verifications. | |||
"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be... I wouldn’t have quite put it like that! I do think it’s bordering on being condescending though….. I get why it does bristle with people because those who get it do get it! And I am not one for spoodfeeding ( the whole “give a man a fish” vs “teach a man to fish” thing) The question is really do people need a big guide when a lot of it really comes down to basic common sense… Absolutely it condescending as well arrogant on a superior level, it's strikes me as a case of if you do what I've done then you'll be as good as me....fuck off with that shit. Like you say its common sense, and having some common decency to treat others how you like to be treated, and some self integrity With respect, its easy to hold that view when you have 40 verifications. " And I have more than that…. And how did I do that…. But getting myself to organised non play socials up and down the country… most of my verifications are not 1-2-1 meets The wonders of showing people what I am like in real life! What’s the difference between meeting people in a pub and a non play social… absolutely nothing!!!! At this stage I think you are being deliberately obtuse as you are obviously not going to change the way you do what you do, but then complain that the way you do what you do isn’t getting you the results you think it should…. Isn’t that the definition of insanity… doing the same thing again and again but expecting different results! You have been offered doors to open… you slammed them shut | |||
"Blah blah blah, do this you'll be knee deep in clunge do that and you won't be... I wouldn’t have quite put it like that! I do think it’s bordering on being condescending though….. I get why it does bristle with people because those who get it do get it! And I am not one for spoodfeeding ( the whole “give a man a fish” vs “teach a man to fish” thing) The question is really do people need a big guide when a lot of it really comes down to basic common sense… Absolutely it condescending as well arrogant on a superior level, it's strikes me as a case of if you do what I've done then you'll be as good as me....fuck off with that shit. Like you say its common sense, and having some common decency to treat others how you like to be treated, and some self integrity With respect, its easy to hold that view when you have 40 verifications. " With respect, how did those 40 verifications happen, I got out and turned up for socials and club events etc etc, not just sat behind my phone screen, expecting the mountain to come to me. Then when it didn't sat moaning and complaing about it on here, like a vast majority of people do... | |||
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" With respect, its easy to hold that view when you have 40 verifications. " I'm pretty convinced you don't actually want to meet anyone. Your post history is full of replies and advice that you've been ignoring for a long time now. I've no doubt that anything anyone says here will make no difference to you. | |||
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"Anyone any advice for my profile, new to this and not get as many replies/messages as I would’ve hoped" Start a thread asking for advice, is advice | |||
" With respect, its easy to hold that view when you have 40 verifications. I'm pretty convinced you don't actually want to meet anyone. Your post history is full of replies and advice that you've been ignoring for a long time now. I've no doubt that anything anyone says here will make no difference to you. " I have put a great deal of effort in the last year into trying to make friends on here , and meet people for a social ,but to no avail.i have read all these advice about clubs ,but also read plenty if posts from successful single blokes, who have never been to a club or organised social. I use all the tools available to me on here ,messages ,chat rooms ,forums ,so I do put plenty of time and effort in . I take heart from the single blokes verifications, who have met people on here without having to going down the club route. I have read a lot of posts on the forums from single blokes who have travelled, booked a hotel and paid a lot to get into a club only to find the club is all about couples, and a few ,"well established "single blokes,whilst the majority of blokes are left sat there like spare parts . That's not my idea of a good night out ,and a very expensive one at that. I have been chatting to a single bloke on here ,who went to a club fir the first time and tried to mingle and talk to people ,and make friends ,and was totally blanked and made to feel like dirt . He isn't the only one who has said the same. Yes ,I've no doubt clubs work for a small minority of single guys, but for the majority of us , it's provably a very expensive waste of time . | |||
"Anyone any advice for my profile, new to this and not get as many replies/messages as I would’ve hoped" With respect mate ,you have been a member for six weeks ,and you have already had a meet . You are doing so much better than most of us single blokes on here | |||
"Anyone any advice for my profile, new to this and not get as many replies/messages as I would’ve hoped With respect mate ,you have been a member for six weeks ,and you have already had a meet . You are doing so much better than most of us single blokes on here " Can I ask why you haven't followed the rest of the advice you've received in many other threads? So clubs are out. What about your photos? Your bio? Your generally negative outlook on the forums? Your approach in messaging? Have you considered that if you've done all those things to the best of your ability then this just isn't the place for you? You speak of 'us poor single blokes' like something unfair has happened but is it really unfair of people are better at using fab than you? Is it really unfair if people aren't attracted to you? | |||
"Anyone any advice for my profile, new to this and not get as many replies/messages as I would’ve hoped With respect mate ,you have been a member for six weeks ,and you have already had a meet . You are doing so much better than most of us single blokes on here " Stop with the self pity already, maybe it's not others, nor the site, the problem could be your approach. Before I used clubs and organised socials I still managed to get meets, both socials and play. I'm nothing special, im not one of the select few | |||
" I have put a great deal of effort in the last year into trying to make friends on here , and meet people for a social ,but to no avail.i have read all these advice about clubs ,but also read plenty if posts from successful single blokes, who have never been to a club or organised social. I use all the tools available to me on here ,messages ,chat rooms ,forums ,so I do put plenty of time and effort in ." The thing is you are acting as if fabswingers, as good as the site is, is the entire jigsaw… what people are saying is that fabswingers is just one bit of the jigsaw also with for example going to those socials and going to the clubs are parts of the jigsaw that makes up the entire picture For example, you could say that fab is a good networking tool, but it’s not the only instrument I rely on! " I take heart from the single blokes verifications, who have met people on here without having to going down the club route." Good…but you are the one complaining your way isn’t working for you , so if it is not working what are you going to do to change it up? "I have read a lot of posts on the forums from single blokes who have travelled, booked a hotel and paid a lot to get into a club only to find the club is all about couples, and a few ,"well established "single blokes,whilst the majority of blokes are left sat there like spare parts . That's not my idea of a good night out ,and a very expensive one at that." A few things here…. A) pick the night you go to clubs carefully… some are more aimed at mixed crowds and yes some are couples nights … B)How do you think blokes became established (in your words) in the first place? I’m just taking a guess that they were proactive and got themselves to socials and got themselves to clubs and went round and talked to people! …. And if you talk to people the may think “oh , there is that nice person we spoke to before!” And they may talk to them more….. "I have been chatting to a single bloke on here ,who went to a club fir the first time and tried to mingle and talk to people ,and make friends ,and was totally blanked and made to feel like dirt . He isn't the only one who has said the same. Yes ,I've no doubt clubs work for a small minority of single guys, but for the majority of us , it's provably a very expensive waste of time . " Actually I would say that if you are socially minded then clubs will work for people… I would like to hope that anyone adult enough to walk through the doors into a club would also be adult enough to have a conversation… And if that’ your preconceived notion Then don’t go to a club… that still doesn’t stop you going to organised socials…. And you can still get around and still talk to people… but remember you closed that door without trying one as well! You do you!! But remember what I said what the definition of insanity is….. you are wanting everyone to change to suit you, but you are not prepared to budge one inch! | |||
" I have put a great deal of effort in the last year into trying to make friends on here , and meet people for a social ,but to no avail.i have read all these advice about clubs ,but also read plenty if posts from successful single blokes, who have never been to a club or organised social. I use all the tools available to me on here ,messages ,chat rooms ,forums ,so I do put plenty of time and effort in . The thing is you are acting as if fabswingers, as good as the site is, is the entire jigsaw… what people are saying is that fabswingers is just one bit of the jigsaw also with for example going to those socials and going to the clubs are parts of the jigsaw that makes up the entire picture For example, you could say that fab is a good networking tool, but it’s not the only instrument I rely on! I take heart from the single blokes verifications, who have met people on here without having to going down the club route. Good…but you are the one complaining your way isn’t working for you , so if it is not working what are you going to do to change it up? I have read a lot of posts on the forums from single blokes who have travelled, booked a hotel and paid a lot to get into a club only to find the club is all about couples, and a few ,"well established "single blokes,whilst the majority of blokes are left sat there like spare parts . That's not my idea of a good night out ,and a very expensive one at that. A few things here…. A) pick the night you go to clubs carefully… some are more aimed at mixed crowds and yes some are couples nights … B)How do you think blokes became established (in your words) in the first place? I’m just taking a guess that they were proactive and got themselves to socials and got themselves to clubs and went round and talked to people! …. And if you talk to people the may think “oh , there is that nice person we spoke to before!” And they may talk to them more….. I have been chatting to a single bloke on here ,who went to a club fir the first time and tried to mingle and talk to people ,and make friends ,and was totally blanked and made to feel like dirt . He isn't the only one who has said the same. Yes ,I've no doubt clubs work for a small minority of single guys, but for the majority of us , it's provably a very expensive waste of time . Actually I would say that if you are socially minded then clubs will work for people… I would like to hope that anyone adult enough to walk through the doors into a club would also be adult enough to have a conversation… And if that’ your preconceived notion Then don’t go to a club… that still doesn’t stop you going to organised socials…. And you can still get around and still talk to people… but remember you closed that door without trying one as well! You do you!! But remember what I said what the definition of insanity is….. you are wanting everyone to change to suit you, but you are not prepared to budge one inch! " Problem is Fabio, people like to moan, proportion blame outside of themselves to all n everything. As if they didn't they may have to admit the problem may lie at their door. 'It's easier to look out the window than the mirror' | |||
" I have put a great deal of effort in the last year into trying to make friends on here , and meet people for a social ,but to no avail.i have read all these advice about clubs ,but also read plenty if posts from successful single blokes, who have never been to a club or organised social. I use all the tools available to me on here ,messages ,chat rooms ,forums ,so I do put plenty of time and effort in . The thing is you are acting as if fabswingers, as good as the site is, is the entire jigsaw… what people are saying is that fabswingers is just one bit of the jigsaw also with for example going to those socials and going to the clubs are parts of the jigsaw that makes up the entire picture For example, you could say that fab is a good networking tool, but it’s not the only instrument I rely on! I take heart from the single blokes verifications, who have met people on here without having to going down the club route. Good…but you are the one complaining your way isn’t working for you , so if it is not working what are you going to do to change it up? I have read a lot of posts on the forums from single blokes who have travelled, booked a hotel and paid a lot to get into a club only to find the club is all about couples, and a few ,"well established "single blokes,whilst the majority of blokes are left sat there like spare parts . That's not my idea of a good night out ,and a very expensive one at that. A few things here…. A) pick the night you go to clubs carefully… some are more aimed at mixed crowds and yes some are couples nights … B)How do you think blokes became established (in your words) in the first place? I’m just taking a guess that they were proactive and got themselves to socials and got themselves to clubs and went round and talked to people! …. And if you talk to people the may think “oh , there is that nice person we spoke to before!” And they may talk to them more….. I have been chatting to a single bloke on here ,who went to a club fir the first time and tried to mingle and talk to people ,and make friends ,and was totally blanked and made to feel like dirt . He isn't the only one who has said the same. Yes ,I've no doubt clubs work for a small minority of single guys, but for the majority of us , it's provably a very expensive waste of time . Actually I would say that if you are socially minded then clubs will work for people… I would like to hope that anyone adult enough to walk through the doors into a club would also be adult enough to have a conversation… And if that’ your preconceived notion Then don’t go to a club… that still doesn’t stop you going to organised socials…. And you can still get around and still talk to people… but remember you closed that door without trying one as well! You do you!! But remember what I said what the definition of insanity is….. you are wanting everyone to change to suit you, but you are not prepared to budge one inch! Problem is Fabio, people like to moan, proportion blame outside of themselves to all n everything. As if they didn't they may have to admit the problem may lie at their door. 'It's easier to look out the window than the mirror' " | |||
"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules " This is what I came to write. As a single male it really is pot luck. You could be young, handsome, polite, respectful and intelligent great bio great pics great veris send 1000 messages and not get much of a response because the fact is quite simply that if a couple or single woman doesn’t want you, you won’t get them no matter how good you look how well written your bio is how cool your pics are. Honestly, as a single male if you want to do well find a club that’s local to you and start going to one or two of the nights talk to men women and couples and if you’re a genuine guy you’ll strike it rich | |||
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" I am more than happy to have a one on one public social for a coffee or a bite to eat and a chat to see if there is a spark and attraction. I just have no interest in clubs or organised large socials. " If you've had a 100% rejection rate, why not try something different? You don't have to play in clubs, but it is an opportunity to meet people (which you're not getting with the current method), showing your personality and potentially moving onto those one to one socials. And you'll already know if there is an attraction. As many people say, it's hard for single men on here. I saw a figure of 1:74 quoted as the m to f ratio. That's a lot of competition! At least at an event u can have real conversations with real people. Showing personality on a profile is hard. It's much easier IRL. Also, people u meet at socials can at least verify u removing the issue of no veris! And most important of all, a positive mental attitude will get u a lot further  | |||
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"Anyone any advice for my profile, new to this and not get as many replies/messages as I would’ve hoped With respect mate ,you have been a member for six weeks ,and you have already had a meet . You are doing so much better than most of us single blokes on here Can I ask why you haven't followed the rest of the advice you've received in many other threads? So clubs are out. What about your photos? Your bio? Your generally negative outlook on the forums? Your approach in messaging? Have you considered that if you've done all those things to the best of your ability then this just isn't the place for you? You speak of 'us poor single blokes' like something unfair has happened but is it really unfair of people are better at using fab than you? Is it really unfair if people aren't attracted to you?" I regularly update my photos always showing my face so people know what I look like now. I update my bio regular as well . I have no problem if people aren't attracted to me , at the end of the day everybody has different tastes. My main reasoning for stopping messaging couples or single women. was that the vast majority of profiles who were looking for single blokes in my age range ,and who I met their likes and dislikes had the old "will only reply to guys who are meet verified " | |||
"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules This is what I came to write. As a single male it really is pot luck. You could be young, handsome, polite, respectful and intelligent great bio great pics great veris send 1000 messages and not get much of a response because the fact is quite simply that if a couple or single woman doesn’t want you, you won’t get them no matter how good you look how well written your bio is how cool your pics are. Honestly, as a single male if you want to do well find a club that’s local to you and start going to one or two of the nights talk to men women and couples and if you’re a genuine guy you’ll strike it rich" Thanks for your reply mate , I appreciate it .Reading all the replies from single blokes who are successful, it seems that people like me ,who are only interested in one on one social meets after exchanging messages on Fab ,aren't welcome on the scene . It seems the swinging scene has changed to clubs and organised socials ,rather than meeting from from swinging websites like this one. As I've said before ,I'd love to meet someone for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction, but I'm not into clubs or arranged large socials. Maybe I am one of the many ,many single blokes on here who will never get a meet ,but I won't won't be pushed into going to a club or organised social. | |||
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"Brilliant write up but not necessarily correct. Personally, I have been given very similar advice before and I have stuck to it. Hasn't made an ounce of difference. I have still yet to even get a reply to messages. I've had not even one conversation, let alone a meet and I'm not exactly new here, I've been using Fab daily for quite some time now! In my personal experience, if your just an average single male then you won't even get looked at! Expectations/preferences seem to be at an all time high. With the majority of single women/couples looking for (I quote) exceptional males, tall, gym fit, in shape, hung, bbc. This is something I see daily. So with this in mind, what chance does the average single guy actually have? Again, this is just based on my personal experience. I have been here for a considerable amount of time. I've sent untold amounts of messages to both single women and couples and the God's honest truth, I get zero replies, absolutely nothing. My messages are either unread, read and ignored, read and deleted or read and blocked! And this is despite (having been told by some users on forums here) that I have a decent profile with lots of detail/description. So with that in mind, I can only assume my lack of success comes down to the fact that I'm just an average guy and no one here wants average..." I'm an average single white guy, that has always managed to get meets on fab... If youse are all striking out 10p per cent of the time, it's time to start questiong your approaches, stop blaming others the site women. Amd check how your approaching ppl, as your not getting responses fir a reason, | |||
"Brilliant write up but not necessarily correct. Personally, I have been given very similar advice before and I have stuck to it. Hasn't made an ounce of difference. I have still yet to even get a reply to messages. I've had not even one conversation, let alone a meet and I'm not exactly new here, I've been using Fab daily for quite some time now! In my personal experience, if your just an average single male then you won't even get looked at! Expectations/preferences seem to be at an all time high. With the majority of single women/couples looking for (I quote) exceptional males, tall, gym fit, in shape, hung, bbc. This is something I see daily. So with this in mind, what chance does the average single guy actually have? Again, this is just based on my personal experience. I have been here for a considerable amount of time. I've sent untold amounts of messages to both single women and couples and the God's honest truth, I get zero replies, absolutely nothing. My messages are either unread, read and ignored, read and deleted or read and blocked! And this is despite (having been told by some users on forums here) that I have a decent profile with lots of detail/description. So with that in mind, I can only assume my lack of success comes down to the fact that I'm just an average guy and no one here wants average... I'm an average single white guy, that has always managed to get meets on fab... If youse are all striking out 10p per cent of the time, it's time to start questiong your approaches, stop blaming others the site women. Amd check how your approaching ppl, as your not getting responses fir a reason, " Sorry did you not read my post correctly? I did mention that I approach people in a polite, friendly and respectful way. Always begin with a good morning, good afternoon, good evening. And I always introduce myself and try to make myself shine in the best possible way. Doesn't make an ounce of difference! | |||
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"Brilliant write up but not necessarily correct. Personally, I have been given very similar advice before and I have stuck to it. Hasn't made an ounce of difference. I have still yet to even get a reply to messages. I've had not even one conversation, let alone a meet and I'm not exactly new here, I've been using Fab daily for quite some time now! In my personal experience, if your just an average single male then you won't even get looked at! Expectations/preferences seem to be at an all time high. With the majority of single women/couples looking for (I quote) exceptional males, tall, gym fit, in shape, hung, bbc. This is something I see daily. So with this in mind, what chance does the average single guy actually have? Again, this is just based on my personal experience. I have been here for a considerable amount of time. I've sent untold amounts of messages to both single women and couples and the God's honest truth, I get zero replies, absolutely nothing. My messages are either unread, read and ignored, read and deleted or read and blocked! And this is despite (having been told by some users on forums here) that I have a decent profile with lots of detail/description. So with that in mind, I can only assume my lack of success comes down to the fact that I'm just an average guy and no one here wants average..." You have been on an here 9 months. That's short term for fab, you are new to the scene. With the 1:74 ratio means that women can be picky and not have to accept less because of supply and demand. Depending on what branch of feminism you sign up to Fab is the feminist dream come to life. But that does not mean that you can't get a meet. As it has been mentioned on here previously apply yourself adapt the advice to your needs. There not hard and fast rules 'to get any women'. Because that's just rediculas On another point what do you class as successful? Your new too the scene and I wish you the best. | |||
"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules This is what I came to write. As a single male it really is pot luck. You could be young, handsome, polite, respectful and intelligent great bio great pics great veris send 1000 messages and not get much of a response because the fact is quite simply that if a couple or single woman doesn’t want you, you won’t get them no matter how good you look how well written your bio is how cool your pics are. Honestly, as a single male if you want to do well find a club that’s local to you and start going to one or two of the nights talk to men women and couples and if you’re a genuine guy you’ll strike it rich Thanks for your reply mate , I appreciate it .Reading all the replies from single blokes who are successful, it seems that people like me ,who are only interested in one on one social meets after exchanging messages on Fab ,aren't welcome on the scene . It seems the swinging scene has changed to clubs and organised socials ,rather than meeting from from swinging websites like this one. As I've said before ,I'd love to meet someone for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction, but I'm not into clubs or arranged large socials. Maybe I am one of the many ,many single blokes on here who will never get a meet ,but I won't won't be pushed into going to a club or organised social. " In which case, you do you! No one is holding a gun to your head! One thing though….. every piece of advice you have been given has either gone in one ear and straight out the other… or has been shot down without a single thought! But since you are not prepared to look into the mirror and ask yourself “how can I make my experience or situation better?” Then please don’t use the woe is me lines! People have tried to help you People have offered ideas You want to blame everything else for your woes You get one chance to make a great first impression… you could have taken everything in, and shown yourself to be open…. Or you could show that you are so closed in your thoughts that your way is right and you won’t listen to anyone else… And yet… you are the one that is complaining that fabswingers has changed! So if it has changed, then why are you so set in your ways to not change with it? Okay… take clubs out…. Cool… you have so many preconceived notions about them that if any one negative thing happened you would convince yourself that you were right ! But organised non play socials….. I don’t get your vitriolic reaction to them! … contrary to what Ben sisko said (which mainly was pish… but I’ll get to that in another post) they don’t cost a lot… and any money asked for is to cover costs of venues! What is between talking to one person and talking to many people…. Unless you have developed some super skills, you are not going to be having more than one conversation at a time! And in a sense shouldn’t multiple conversations with multiple people getting yourself actually known and showing your personality yield you better results in the future? You could call it “seeing how people actually are rather than just a profile “ as I said to you before.. you are not just having one meeting… but you are having multiple “one” meetings! | |||
"Brilliant write up but not necessarily correct. Personally, I have been given very similar advice before and I have stuck to it. Hasn't made an ounce of difference. I have still yet to even get a reply to messages. I've had not even one conversation, let alone a meet and I'm not exactly new here, I've been using Fab daily for quite some time now! In my personal experience, if your just an average single male then you won't even get looked at! Expectations/preferences seem to be at an all time high. With the majority of single women/couples looking for (I quote) exceptional males, tall, gym fit, in shape, hung, bbc. This is something I see daily. So with this in mind, what chance does the average single guy actually have? Again, this is just based on my personal experience. I have been here for a considerable amount of time. I've sent untold amounts of messages to both single women and couples and the God's honest truth, I get zero replies, absolutely nothing. My messages are either unread, read and ignored, read and deleted or read and blocked! And this is despite (having been told by some users on forums here) that I have a decent profile with lots of detail/description. So with that in mind, I can only assume my lack of success comes down to the fact that I'm just an average guy and no one here wants average... You have been on an here 9 months. That's short term for fab, you are new to the scene. With the 1:74 ratio means that women can be picky and not have to accept less because of supply and demand. Depending on what branch of feminism you sign up to Fab is the feminist dream come to life. But that does not mean that you can't get a meet. As it has been mentioned on here previously apply yourself adapt the advice to your needs. There not hard and fast rules 'to get any women'. Because that's just rediculas On another point what do you class as successful? Your new too the scene and I wish you the best. " Actually I have been on and off of Fab for 3 years with different profiles and it's always been the same result | |||
"I am going to say something that is going to sound really controversial…. I hate guides like this….. Although well intended, what may work for one person may not work for someone else! If we argue that being unique should be one of your selling points what this does is give people the template for bland! What this also does is a couple of different things : 1) you make it much harder for those single guy’s who do get it to stand out 2) you make it easier for people to be fooled (you gave the time waster the template) 3) you made it harder for couples to work out who stands out… and which people are likely to be for them! For all the faults with the site at the moment the thing you can do is your sifting pretty quick Advice literally should boil down to time, patience and basic common sense… if you need to be spoonfed an entire guide, then swinging probably isn’t for them! The biggest thing is people need to help themselves “help themselves!” Again… common sense! Talk to people… common sense! Sell yourself…. Common sense Don’t be an arse….. do people really need to be told " Exactly | |||
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"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules This is what I came to write. As a single male it really is pot luck. You could be young, handsome, polite, respectful and intelligent great bio great pics great veris send 1000 messages and not get much of a response because the fact is quite simply that if a couple or single woman doesn’t want you, you won’t get them no matter how good you look how well written your bio is how cool your pics are. Honestly, as a single male if you want to do well find a club that’s local to you and start going to one or two of the nights talk to men women and couples and if you’re a genuine guy you’ll strike it rich Thanks for your reply mate , I appreciate it .Reading all the replies from single blokes who are successful, it seems that people like me ,who are only interested in one on one social meets after exchanging messages on Fab ,aren't welcome on the scene . It seems the swinging scene has changed to clubs and organised socials ,rather than meeting from from swinging websites like this one. As I've said before ,I'd love to meet someone for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction, but I'm not into clubs or arranged large socials. Maybe I am one of the many ,many single blokes on here who will never get a meet ,but I won't won't be pushed into going to a club or organised social. In which case, you do you! No one is holding a gun to your head! One thing though….. every piece of advice you have been given has either gone in one ear and straight out the other… or has been shot down without a single thought! But since you are not prepared to look into the mirror and ask yourself “how can I make my experience or situation better?” Then please don’t use the woe is me lines! People have tried to help you People have offered ideas You want to blame everything else for your woes You get one chance to make a great first impression… you could have taken everything in, and shown yourself to be open…. Or you could show that you are so closed in your thoughts that your way is right and you won’t listen to anyone else… And yet… you are the one that is complaining that fabswingers has changed! So if it has changed, then why are you so set in your ways to not change with it? Okay… take clubs out…. Cool… you have so many preconceived notions about them that if any one negative thing happened you would convince yourself that you were right ! But organised non play socials….. I don’t get your vitriolic reaction to them! … contrary to what Ben sisko said (which mainly was pish… but I’ll get to that in another post) they don’t cost a lot… and any money asked for is to cover costs of venues! What is between talking to one person and talking to many people…. Unless you have developed some super skills, you are not going to be having more than one conversation at a time! And in a sense shouldn’t multiple conversations with multiple people getting yourself actually known and showing your personality yield you better results in the future? You could call it “seeing how people actually are rather than just a profile “ as I said to you before.. you are not just having one meeting… but you are having multiple “one” meetings! " My dear, dear dear as you have just demonstrated by mentioning my name in your post This is FAB and you can say whatever you wish (within the rules), without regard for anyone else. So thanks. Looking forward to more berating. FAB the place which just keeps on giving, what happy people I must goto a club so I can be berated face to face. You and others on this thread are a good advertisement and club owners must be so proud. | |||
"what works for one wont work for the other ... best advice is dont give advice everyone is different everyone is looking for different ... no one knows you like you so if you cant sell you then there no point of being here at all there is no one type of swinger there are no golden rules This is what I came to write. As a single male it really is pot luck. You could be young, handsome, polite, respectful and intelligent great bio great pics great veris send 1000 messages and not get much of a response because the fact is quite simply that if a couple or single woman doesn’t want you, you won’t get them no matter how good you look how well written your bio is how cool your pics are. Honestly, as a single male if you want to do well find a club that’s local to you and start going to one or two of the nights talk to men women and couples and if you’re a genuine guy you’ll strike it rich Thanks for your reply mate , I appreciate it .Reading all the replies from single blokes who are successful, it seems that people like me ,who are only interested in one on one social meets after exchanging messages on Fab ,aren't welcome on the scene . It seems the swinging scene has changed to clubs and organised socials ,rather than meeting from from swinging websites like this one. As I've said before ,I'd love to meet someone for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction, but I'm not into clubs or arranged large socials. Maybe I am one of the many ,many single blokes on here who will never get a meet ,but I won't won't be pushed into going to a club or organised social. In which case, you do you! No one is holding a gun to your head! One thing though….. every piece of advice you have been given has either gone in one ear and straight out the other… or has been shot down without a single thought! But since you are not prepared to look into the mirror and ask yourself “how can I make my experience or situation better?” Then please don’t use the woe is me lines! People have tried to help you People have offered ideas You want to blame everything else for your woes You get one chance to make a great first impression… you could have taken everything in, and shown yourself to be open…. Or you could show that you are so closed in your thoughts that your way is right and you won’t listen to anyone else… And yet… you are the one that is complaining that fabswingers has changed! So if it has changed, then why are you so set in your ways to not change with it? Okay… take clubs out…. Cool… you have so many preconceived notions about them that if any one negative thing happened you would convince yourself that you were right ! But organised non play socials….. I don’t get your vitriolic reaction to them! … contrary to what Ben sisko said (which mainly was pish… but I’ll get to that in another post) they don’t cost a lot… and any money asked for is to cover costs of venues! What is between talking to one person and talking to many people…. Unless you have developed some super skills, you are not going to be having more than one conversation at a time! And in a sense shouldn’t multiple conversations with multiple people getting yourself actually known and showing your personality yield you better results in the future? You could call it “seeing how people actually are rather than just a profile “ as I said to you before.. you are not just having one meeting… but you are having multiple “one” meetings! My dear, dear dear as you have just demonstrated by mentioning my name in your post This is FAB and you can say whatever you wish (within the rules), without regard for anyone else. So thanks. Looking forward to more berating. FAB the place which just keeps on giving, what happy people I must goto a club so I can be berated face to face. You and others on this thread are a good advertisement and club owners must be so proud." Ben… you wrote in this thread, and I almost disagree with everything single word in it because almost every single word is negative.. so your reply is as fair game in this as your reply to me… So… let’s start at the beginning by asking a question… then we can have a chat… So.. as I said to Dave.. let’s take clubs out for this.. we can deal with that separately! Have you ever been to a non-play organised social event? | |||
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"it is pretty simple there is a clique on this forum who message off site, one can only guess what information is passed on single guys who have met up with couples or single women, which they didn't like. The advice is not advice to me, it is a detailed set of rules designed to make you men suck up most with no success. Spent hours on your profile, Took time to make the perfect picture, thoughtful messages with references to the profile your writing to if this is not successful then go to a club, expensive for single men as it is you that will provide the Reddies needed to keep club going. Not to mention that you may be treated like you have covid, When I tell you my first swinging experience was through a television service called teletext on ITV you may see that this site is a set up, a long con where through encouragement and failure you may well end up in a club just because you have tried everything else. Remember advertising on here is against the rules, so you may see as I have others saying I will be at such and such tonight hope to see you there, adverts under the guise of this is were I will be, I got in for free, you will have to pay x amount to get in. See where im going here, men do not fall for it unless you know the advise is coming from someone you know, never take advice from strangers, to me it shows signs of desperation especially when other men state they are successful on here it will only make you do things you wouldn't normally do, which brings you out of your comfort zone. And remember there are cliques on here that discuss us all. I will say again there are places in every city that swingers visit that are not clubs or socials. clubs and socials are the places where swingers that are known to each other frequent, single men make this possible through the higher fees they are asked to pay. The usual suspects will appear to defend themselves and attack me, but the truth is the truth from what I have observed and read. Fab has no involvement but all the tools are here for it to happen. Finally This is FAB and I am entitled to say what I see, with no regard for your feelings or emotional state, I say this as this is the reason many give to others, as an earlier poster wrote single men are there for the couples or single women pleasure and experience not yours, you make it possible for them. And still your despised." So many different directions so many things I want to quote… so here we go Are there cliques.. some may say yes! Some may say no! Some may call them relationships that have grown through taking and meeting… and to new people that may look cliquey, but we were all new once! Do people talk to other people offline… you think! Not in the sense of you shouldn’t meet with a.n.other because we didn’t get along… but if I know that person has for example no showed or there may have been violent behaviour, then yes! People talk! And as like I said , for large non play organised social events … never been to one yet where people are charged differently for going… key word in the title.. social, social is not some kind of codeword for “orgy going to break out!” Oh … and everyone is here for everybodies pleasure! If you are not having fun don’t put yourself through it! Everyone has the right to say no thank you… be that men women or couples! If you are paranoid about the clique talking about you, you should join me in the “I really couldn’t give 2 shits what people think of me” club… you’ll find it very liberating! I am big enough, ugly enough, and pragmatic enough to know and understand that not everyone is going to like me and I am not going to be attracted to everyone! If people want to waste time hating me.. well it’s their time, not mine! | |||
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"Man bites dog Man wags the dog And we aaaal stand hand in hand, hand in hand in the, POND life. Imagine white knighting from a blank profile. Such courage. To quote an apt movie title She's Just Not That Into You." White Knight no that's you I am after no one I appease no one I simply do not care. I have no need to stick up for anyone and I obviously have not. Tora, Tora, Tora. that is your motto that is what you are doing, thanks for highlighting what I have posted. These people goto clubs and socials, after you have witnessed what happens on here would you go to a club, please keep them coming. there is no such thing as bad advertising, just advertising. | |||
"Man bites dog Man wags the dog And we aaaal stand hand in hand, hand in hand in the, POND life. Imagine white knighting from a blank profile. Such courage. To quote an apt movie title She's Just Not That Into You." Sorry one more thing, This is FAB ........ you should know the rest I am writing nothing different. And please stop stereotyping me as a person looking to swing, or looking for an easy lay, this maybe you as you put it in to this thread not me, this site put me off that long ago. | |||
") I am here to highlight to single guys the two faced dealings of people some a few but the few are vocal. " My mistake. | |||
") I am here to highlight to single guys the two faced dealings of people some a few but the few are vocal. My mistake." Thank you, you're a star. words are only 25% of conversation, so we all get it twisted without the gestures and face and eye movement. Hope we can converse in the future. and good luck in finding what you are looking for if you haven't found it yet. | |||
" Tora Tora Tora ----------- I am here to highlight to single guys the two faced dealings of people some a few but the few are vocal. ---------- White Knight no that's you I am after no one I appease no one I simply do not care. I have no need to stick up for anyone and I obviously have not. --------- Thank you, you're a star. words are only 25% of conversation, so we all get it twisted without the gestures and face and eye movement. " My apologies if I misunderstood your intentions. | |||
