FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is it ok to put in profile some ethnic preferences?1
Is it ok to put in profile some ethnic preferences?1
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"It’s not like we are looking only that specific type but we would love to meet them as we think that group is sexy as hell for us.Mrs is getting so horny about thinking about all these girl,she never have them enough" Why does it need to be in your profile? Go looking for who you want to meet. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia " How could it be worded as a preference for straight men only? | |||
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Can’t please everyone. Some will be ok with it, some won’t.
As long as your happy with your own profile then that’s all you can do | |||
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"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia How could it be worded as a preference for straight men only? " I don't understand why such things need to be said on a profile but to each their own So many men on here are bi but put straight on their profile, all people are doing is encouraging people to put straight on their profile before they message them | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia How could it be worded as a preference for straight men only? I don't understand why such things need to be said on a profile but to each their own So many men on here are bi but put straight on their profile, all people are doing is encouraging people to put straight on their profile before they message them " Agree. | |||
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"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "Basically! | |||
"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "Yes this. | |||
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"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "Absolutely this, more what you’re looking for, rather than what you’re not  | |||
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"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for " | |||
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"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "Agree - list what you want, rather than what you don’t | |||
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"It’s not ok. It’s never ok. We all have preferences (for example, I’m very keen on dark hair and men that are very tall) but we don’t list every preference on our profiles. By excluding a specific ethnicity, all you’re flagging to the world is that you are excluding a large set of men based on one characteristic- the colour of their skin. Why would you choose that particular characteristic as opposed to the colour of their eyes or their height? The reason is clear. By flagging your exclusion of specific ethnic groups you’re making a definite statement. And that statement does not reflect well on you. " Spot on | |||
"It’s not ok. It’s never ok. We all have preferences (for example, I’m very keen on dark hair and men that are very tall) but we don’t list every preference on our profiles. By excluding a specific ethnicity, all you’re flagging to the world is that you are excluding a large set of men based on one characteristic- the colour of their skin. Why would you choose that particular characteristic as opposed to the colour of their eyes or their height? The reason is clear. By flagging your exclusion of specific ethnic groups you’re making a definite statement. And that statement does not reflect well on you. " To be honest, mentioning preferences on profile saves everyone's time. As long as it's respectful, it's totally fine. Who one wants to have sex with is none of other people's business. It's not a job vacancy where we need to fight against discrimination. We all have our likes and dislikes and being open about it saves everyone's time. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia " I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx | |||
"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "You put this across well. Xx | |||
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"It’s not ok. It’s never ok. We all have preferences (for example, I’m very keen on dark hair and men that are very tall) but we don’t list every preference on our profiles. By excluding a specific ethnicity, all you’re flagging to the world is that you are excluding a large set of men based on one characteristic- the colour of their skin. Why would you choose that particular characteristic as opposed to the colour of their eyes or their height? The reason is clear. By flagging your exclusion of specific ethnic groups you’re making a definite statement. And that statement does not reflect well on you. To be honest, mentioning preferences on profile saves everyone's time. As long as it's respectful, it's totally fine. Who one wants to have sex with is none of other people's business. It's not a job vacancy where we need to fight against discrimination. We all have our likes and dislikes and being open about it saves everyone's time." | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " .............................. Absolutely fine | |||
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"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " Race is the number one when it comes to discrimination and its never going to be cut and dried because of the different angles you can come from. If it was me I wouldn't mention it and just judge on the photos I guess | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx" This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x" What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No | |||
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"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No "It is homophobic. Some people won’t realise how it is but it is. Clearly you don’t care about that. Fine. It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way. Not that you care about that either but that’s also fine. Personally I choose to not interact with anyone who is hateful in any way. That’s my preference. C x | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No
It is homophobic. Some people won’t realise how it is but it is. Clearly you don’t care about that. Fine. It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way. Not that you care about that either but that’s also fine. Personally I choose to not interact with anyone who is hateful in any way. That’s my preference.
C x"I really don't care about people who call people names, trying to make people feel guilty about who they're not attracted to. They are hateful. If people are shitty about not wanting to fuck someone then that's entirely different. X | |||
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"I’ve just seen lady who says “not interested in white guys”. So it’s ok to say “not interested in black guys”? " Yeah it is, I see many profiles that do. It's called preference isn't it? | |||
"As a "lbi guy myself, firstly I don't believe it is homophobic, but even it it is, that's irrelevant when it comes to consent and sex. As an individual, you are allowed to pick and choose who you have sex with, and if you want to exclude a whole section of society, that is perfectly acceptable. Same with drugs, we won't meet someone who openly admits to doing drugs, even if they didn't take any when we met. Bi guys are also statistically more likely to have certain STIs, especially such as monkey pox, choosing not to play with bi guys is a perfectly legitimate stance. If anyone tries to shame someone for not playing with a bi guy (or anyone else for that matter), they need to consider that for consent to be possible, they must "agree to it and have freedom", if you're being shamed by society for not having sex with a certain demographic or group of people you can argue that you no longer have freedom, thus consent becomes blurred. "  | |||
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"As a "lbi guy myself, firstly I don't believe it is homophobic, but even it it is, that's irrelevant when it comes to consent and sex. As an individual, you are allowed to pick and choose who you have sex with, and if you want to exclude a whole section of society, that is perfectly acceptable. Same with drugs, we won't meet someone who openly admits to doing drugs, even if they didn't take any when we met. Bi guys are also statistically more likely to have certain STIs, especially such as monkey pox, choosing not to play with bi guys is a perfectly legitimate stance. If anyone tries to shame someone for not playing with a bi guy (or anyone else for that matter), they need to consider that for consent to be possible, they must "agree to it and have freedom", if you're being shamed by society for not having sex with a certain demographic or group of people you can argue that you no longer have freedom, thus consent becomes blurred. " The bi guy thing. You have most likely played with plenty of bi guys before. Alot of men on here lie about their sexuality. Alot of straight men will go in without a skin, without even thinking aswell. | |||
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"As a "lbi guy myself, firstly I don't believe it is homophobic, but even it it is, that's irrelevant when it comes to consent and sex. As an individual, you are allowed to pick and choose who you have sex with, and if you want to exclude a whole section of society, that is perfectly acceptable. Same with drugs, we won't meet someone who openly admits to doing drugs, even if they didn't take any when we met. Bi guys are also statistically more likely to have certain STIs, especially such as monkey pox, choosing not to play with bi guys is a perfectly legitimate stance. If anyone tries to shame someone for not playing with a bi guy (or anyone else for that matter), they need to consider that for consent to be possible, they must "agree to it and have freedom", if you're being shamed by society for not having sex with a certain demographic or group of people you can argue that you no longer have freedom, thus consent becomes blurred. The bi guy thing. You have most likely played with plenty of bi guys before. Alot of men on here lie about their sexuality. Alot of straight men will go in without a skin, without even thinking aswell. " Although that is very true, it comes down to informed consent. I can't know someone doesn't do drugs, but that doesn't mean I should play with people who admit to doing drugs just because I can't be 100% sure. There's also some evidence to suggest that cheating men are more at risk of STIs because they are less likely to get checked. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx" Genuine question- isn't that just that your partner doesn't want any men at all? It doesn't matter if they're gay, bi, whatever, he's not, so that's not what you're looking for. It's not a prejudice against bi men, just that your partner is straight so not looking to play with men. Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick! | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x" You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No
It is homophobic. Some people won’t realise how it is but it is. Clearly you don’t care about that. Fine. It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way. Not that you care about that either but that’s also fine. Personally I choose to not interact with anyone who is hateful in any way. That’s my preference.
C x"Being offended doesn't automatically make you correct, nor does it excuse you from making such an aspersion. The lack of acceptance you express is hypocritical. Nobody should be coerced into a situation they choose not to be, suggesting "It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way" suggests a hatred in itself. We have met with bi guys, by the way, this isn't a defensive reaction. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs)" I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No
It is homophobic. Some people won’t realise how it is but it is. Clearly you don’t care about that. Fine. It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way. Not that you care about that either but that’s also fine. Personally I choose to not interact with anyone who is hateful in any way. That’s my preference.
C x
Being offended doesn't automatically make you correct, nor does it excuse you from making such an aspersion.
The lack of acceptance you express is hypocritical.
Nobody should be coerced into a situation they choose not to be, suggesting "It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way" suggests a hatred in itself.
We have met with bi guys, by the way, this isn't a defensive reaction. "I’m not offended. If clearly stating that I don’t wish to interact with people who judge others based on their sexuality/sexual interactions etc makes me unaccepting then that’s cool with me. I would much rather be classed as unaccepting for that than actually be unaccepting by refusing to interacting with people based on what they get up to with other consenting adults. For the record though, I’m one of the most accepting, open minded, non judgmental people you could ever meet. I just don’t tolerate hatefulness, bigotry or judgemental attitudes. Views like those don’t align with my own. I haven’t mentioned coercion. As I’ve just stated, consent is an integral part of all of this. If you have straight on your bio we would automatically see that as any guy on guy being ruled out because obviously nothing is going to occur that all parties aren’t in to and going to enjoy. A discussion is had about boundaries beforehand, it would be very clearly defined what is ok and what isn’t. That’s no different than meets between straight couples. I’ve no clue where the coerced comment even has relevance in anything I’ve said. I don’t have hatred for anyone. I just avoid interacting with people who aren’t on my wavelength. We could have left our bios as bi and straight but we chose to be honest because there’s no shame in what consenting adults enjoy. We’re well aware some will be put off but we wouldn’t want to spend time with anyone who was put off by it anyway. C x | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x" Always find it odd when people use the “in any other part of life” justification. Swinging isn’t any other part of life. People might not want to meet bi people because they feel that their lifestyle choices aren’t compatible. They won’t have anything in common. For example we wouldn’t meet couples in their early twenties because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not ageist! We wouldn’t meet people who do dr*gs because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not prudes. It’s our preference for what makes a good sexual experience. Not everything is an ist or a phobia. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x Always find it odd when people use the “in any other part of life” justification. Swinging isn’t any other part of life. People might not want to meet bi people because they feel that their lifestyle choices aren’t compatible. They won’t have anything in common. For example we wouldn’t meet couples in their early twenties because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not ageist! We wouldn’t meet people who do dr*gs because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not prudes. It’s our preference for what makes a good sexual experience. Not everything is an ist or a phobia. " Sexuality isn’t a lifestyle choice. Assuming that you won’t have anything in common with someone because of their sexual encounters makes no sense. You’re making a massive assumption and ruling out an entire subsection of people based solely on that one part of them. You can’t really compare taking drugs to peoples race and sexuality. C x | |||
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"C’mon now folks in this lifestyle preferences are paramount!!!! Let’s not get into a silly debate all of us have had preferences on here Who gives a shite whether you’re brown black white gay bi or anything else!!! If the fem/cpl/male ain’t interested in you then let it be!!!!! This is a swing site not any other social platform!!!! If someone doesn’t want to play with you then move forward don’t let it bother you " | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x" You certainly did contradict yourself, now you've changed the narrative. Absolutely nothing was mentioned, or hinted at about consent being an issue. Making out people are phobic or an ist because they seek every they seek is indeed shaming. The poster you initially responded to explained they have homosexual friends, and you instantly suggested they are homophobic because of what they seek here, now you're saying that "In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated." | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x What if it is homophobic? If someone tells me I'm homophobic because I won't fuck a bi man I'd just laugh in their face! What do they expect me to do? Fuck them anyway because I'm scared of the word homophobia? Ha! No
It is homophobic. Some people won’t realise how it is but it is. Clearly you don’t care about that. Fine. It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way. Not that you care about that either but that’s also fine. Personally I choose to not interact with anyone who is hateful in any way. That’s my preference.
C x
Being offended doesn't automatically make you correct, nor does it excuse you from making such an aspersion.
The lack of acceptance you express is hypocritical.
Nobody should be coerced into a situation they choose not to be, suggesting "It just lets me know that you aren’t someone I would like to engage with in any way" suggests a hatred in itself.
We have met with bi guys, by the way, this isn't a defensive reaction.
I’m not offended. If clearly stating that I don’t wish to interact with people who judge others based on their sexuality/sexual interactions etc makes me unaccepting then that’s cool with me. I would much rather be classed as unaccepting for that than actually be unaccepting by refusing to interacting with people based on what they get up to with other consenting adults. For the record though, I’m one of the most accepting, open minded, non judgmental people you could ever meet. I just don’t tolerate hatefulness, bigotry or judgemental attitudes. Views like those don’t align with my own.
I haven’t mentioned coercion. As I’ve just stated, consent is an integral part of all of this. If you have straight on your bio we would automatically see that as any guy on guy being ruled out because obviously nothing is going to occur that all parties aren’t in to and going to enjoy. A discussion is had about boundaries beforehand, it would be very clearly defined what is ok and what isn’t. That’s no different than meets between straight couples. I’ve no clue where the coerced comment even has relevance in anything I’ve said.
I don’t have hatred for anyone. I just avoid interacting with people who aren’t on my wavelength. We could have left our bios as bi and straight but we chose to be honest because there’s no shame in what consenting adults enjoy. We’re well aware some will be put off but we wouldn’t want to spend time with anyone who was put off by it anyway.
C x"You're open minded and none judgemental to those whose views align to your own. Our versions of none judgemental and open minded differ, to me it's accepting views may differ and trying to understand, rather than try to silence people with a shout of phobia or ism. Coercion I mention is about this attitude, everyone should fuck who wants to fuck them or you're an phobic. That itself is shaming people's preference to forcefully push them into meeting people they choose not to do, because they'll be attacked if not, there lies my issue regarding coercion here. You say "I don’t have hatred for anyone. I just avoid interacting with people who aren’t on my wavelength", but anyone with a different wavelength to you is phobic. There goes me questioning your open minded and none judgemental comment again. I agree there's no shame in what consenting adults enjoy, whether they align with you or not. Honesty is the best way, with everything, be that an kink or anything, there will be some that are put off, whilst others will find more appeal. There's nothing wrong with sexuality. | |||
" If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. C x" We choose not to play with people who for example want to use certain things you sniff. 99% of the time they will then say "it's OK I don't need to" but we prefer not to play with people who may desire more than we want to give". Also for example, Mrs doesn't like receiving oral off other guys. Many guys will day they want to give oral but then say its OK, they respect boundaries. Not meeting someone who you know is potentially wanting more is absolutely not the same as suggesting you won't meet them because you don't trust their boundary control. | |||
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" Sexuality isn’t a lifestyle choice. " You literally said in a previous post that some men choose to play bi in the moment and aren't attracted to guys. "fab bi" can absolutely be a choice. I enjoy sucking cock but I have no attraction to guys. I do it in a main part because my Girlfriend enjoys watching me and I'm submissive. | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " I believe it is fine, but better to say what you are looking for rather than what you don’t want, if you see what I mean. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x Always find it odd when people use the “in any other part of life” justification. Swinging isn’t any other part of life. People might not want to meet bi people because they feel that their lifestyle choices aren’t compatible. They won’t have anything in common. For example we wouldn’t meet couples in their early twenties because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not ageist! We wouldn’t meet people who do dr*gs because we feel we wouldn’t have anything in common with them. We’re not prudes. It’s our preference for what makes a good sexual experience. Not everything is an ist or a phobia. Sexuality isn’t a lifestyle choice. Assuming that you won’t have anything in common with someone because of their sexual encounters makes no sense. You’re making a massive assumption and ruling out an entire subsection of people based solely on that one part of them. You can’t really compare taking drugs to peoples race and sexuality. C x" Why can’t I? That’s my choice! I can do what I want without criticism from other people. That’s the world we life in now. Respect my choices like I have to respect yours. You compared swinging to everyday life so why can’t I compare people’s age or lifestyle choice to race or sexuality. And you know, for some people their sexuality might be a lifestyle choice | |||
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"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x" If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black? | |||
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"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx Genuine question- isn't that just that your partner doesn't want any men at all? It doesn't matter if they're gay, bi, whatever, he's not, so that's not what you're looking for. It's not a prejudice against bi men, just that your partner is straight so not looking to play with men. Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick! " Hi no we play with males too! It’s actually more my preference ( female ) that doesn’t want to play with bi males. I worry he( the bi male) might want to play with my partner and it just isn’t what my male likes. So I’d rather go with couples who know we will all get full enjoyment. If you see my point? I’m p**sed off tbh the other post person called it homophobic because I’ve never been called that in my life !!!!! Too offence tbh!!! I’m the biggest advocate of LGBTQ+ people !!! But whatever …. Moving on ….. Love Female xxxxxx | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x You've just completely contradicted yourself. First your state they are assuming any bi male will be attracted to him, then you mention that not all by males are attracted to men but like to play in the moment (Shrugs). You mixed up your narrative here. That's kind of the issue, that they are not like minded, not seeking the same. It's not homophobia, it isn't even a phobia issue. We turn down people all the time, because of different reasons, but mainly because we feel we're not a good fit. Seriously, this phobia nonsense has to stop, we are all adults, all here looking for what does it for us, not for others, and we can all choose for ourselves without being shamed for it. Sexual thrills are predominantly in the mind, that's pretty much what makes it exciting or off putting, if it does it for you, do it, if it doesn't, don't. That goes for all, respect that. (Shrugs) I haven’t contradicted myself at all, you’ve just misread/filled in the gaps. Not all men who play with men are bisexual, some enjoy playing with men as a part of group play. You’ve then filled in the gaps that that ‘in the moment’ means without consent. It doesn’t. Men who play with men are no more likely to disregard others boundaries than any other man. Just because a man enjoys playing with a dick every now and again, it doesn’t mean every meet has to include that. They could also be looking for threesomes with a second woman or be in to being cucked with no involvement in the play, they could enjoy watching girl on girl or maybe just straight swapping. You’re making an assumption that they’re only seeking guy on guy and hence not compatible with someone who is straight. If someone can give me a reason for bi/bicurious/biplayful males not being ‘their preference’ that doesn’t boil down to not trusting their sexual history or thinking they won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves around a straight man then I’m all ears. Those two reasons are what it comes down to for most people and those two reasons are homophobic. I’m not shaming anyone. People can put what they want on their profiles, as I said it helps us to filter people out faster. I haven’t said any where that boundaries and preferences shouldn’t be respected, we have our own clearly defined boundaries which we expect others to respect and we always respect others. It’s a key and fundamental part of this all working. But I can also state that something is homophobic or racist and if others want to disagree and state that it is their ‘preference’ then fine. In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated. C x You certainly did contradict yourself, now you've changed the narrative. Absolutely nothing was mentioned, or hinted at about consent being an issue. Making out people are phobic or an ist because they seek every they seek is indeed shaming. The poster you initially responded to explained they have homosexual friends, and you instantly suggested they are homophobic because of what they seek here, now you're saying that "In any other part of life it would very clearly be seen as phobic and not be tolerated." " Thank you xxxxx | |||
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"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?" You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. | |||
"I think it’s how you phrase it. Sometimes I’ve looked at profiles and as someone from a mixed origin I’ve thought “yeah no thanks” as it just comes across incredibly racist Sometimes it sounds like a preference so that’s fine It’s the “no bi guys or bi curious ” though that I don’t like, it screams homophobia I slightly disagree with this comment about it being homophobic. I am an openly bi sexual female ( I’d say I prefer girls more so than men!) We have tons of gay male friends too. However my partner is 100% straight he doesn’t want no male play at all. Whilst he is happy to play side by side with straight males he doesn’t want to be touched or played with by them. Hence sometimes if I am looking for couples and I see a bisexual male bicurious male in the couple I am not interested as I know it won’t be a good situation for us or even that couple in general as they may want to play with all parties involved. But I can see your point slightly from other accounts who aren’t as LGBTQ+ acceptable. This is just my take on not wanting a bisexual/bicurious male involved in our play. Female Xxxxxxxx This is homophobic whether you realise it or not. You’re making the assumption that any bi/bicurious male is going to be attracted to your partner and won’t be able to keep their hands off of him. Are you attracted to every woman you see? Not all bicurious guys are even attracted to men, some just enjoy playing in the moment when the situation is right. They are more than capable of respecting when a guy doesn’t want to be touched by them. C x" We have met and played with bi/bi curious guys and hubby is straight, we have never once had an issue with this. We always tell guys before hand that we enjoy mfm without mm play and every guy has been very respectful of this. | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " You put what your prefences are ,and all power to you ,'but there will always be some who get "offended " in this day and age.it seems to be the trend now a days . | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it."
I never say why it's a no. It's irrelevant. Age, height, gender, favourite crisps. Whatever the reason it's still just no, I don't need to make them feel bad. | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " There’s a difference between saying you’d prefer to play with xxxxx and saying I won’t play with xxxxx. | |||
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"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing would just say not for us. Wouldn't need to elaborate anymore. Have turned guys down because haven't felt an attraction we don't feel we need to shoot them down just say not for us. I'm sure some won't fancy us and if they say not for us that's fine. Could be sexual preferences or looks or anything else. We all like what we like but wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings xz If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?" | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it." absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x | |||
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"There is a plethora of women on here who want BBC/black/mixed race only, so why not. There may well be backlash, but that's life. " Very true. My comment on such a specifically worded profile (only seeking BBC etc) is why not be in a relationship with one in the first place? | |||
"There is a plethora of women on here who want BBC/black/mixed race only, so why not. There may well be backlash, but that's life. Very true. My comment on such a specifically worded profile (only seeking BBC etc) is why not be in a relationship with one in the first place? " Because then they'd want BWC as a treat. If we didn't like variety then why would we be in this lifestyle.  | |||
"There is a plethora of women on here who want BBC/black/mixed race only, so why not. There may well be backlash, but that's life. Very true. My comment on such a specifically worded profile (only seeking BBC etc) is why not be in a relationship with one in the first place? " Maybe they are, or maybe they seek here, something different to what they already have. | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x" Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. | |||
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"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " Why wouldn't it be ? It's your preference. Don't be defensive. | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. " Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... " If you don't know why homophobia and racism are miles apart then I do not believe you understand. If you have personal prefences then that's fine but once you bring social structures into it then it's completely different. | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... " Homophobia and racism are miles apart. You cant look at someone and tell if they are gay or not where as you can look at someone and tell whether they are black/white/Asian (for the most part anyway How many instances do we see? Especially on here where bi men pretend to be straight to avoid homophobia/biphobia, do you think a black person can pretend to be white in order to avoid racism | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... Homophobia and racism are miles apart. You cant look at someone and tell if they are gay or not where as you can look at someone and tell whether they are black/white/Asian (for the most part anyway How many instances do we see? Especially on here where bi men pretend to be straight to avoid homophobia/biphobia, do you think a black person can pretend to be white in order to avoid racism" For the most part, not meeting non-whites is not racist but stereotypes. We won't meet non-English/non-White people off fab, but we'll happily play with anyone we like in a club. 100% of our bad meets from fab have been in the above categories, so we'd be negligent to ourselves to continue meeting that demographic. Communication between different cultures is very different and I believe that plays a huge part in the issues. Face to face is so much more effective. Choosing who puts their cock inside me is my choice, to call someone phobic or racist for that basic human right is just idiotic. | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... Homophobia and racism are miles apart. You cant look at someone and tell if they are gay or not where as you can look at someone and tell whether they are black/white/Asian (for the most part anyway How many instances do we see? Especially on here where bi men pretend to be straight to avoid homophobia/biphobia, do you think a black person can pretend to be white in order to avoid racism For the most part, not meeting non-whites is not racist but stereotypes. We won't meet non-English/non-White people off fab, but we'll happily play with anyone we like in a club. 100% of our bad meets from fab have been in the above categories, so we'd be negligent to ourselves to continue meeting that demographic. Communication between different cultures is very different and I believe that plays a huge part in the issues. Face to face is so much more effective. Choosing who puts their cock inside me is my choice, to call someone phobic or racist for that basic human right is just idiotic. " Exactly the point I have a beard and some woman don't want to meet guys with beards there is no offence taken it's just personal choice. At the end of the day we all choose it's no reflection on them or me it's just who floats their boats. It gets way over thought and words like homophobic and racist are thrown in a conversation and it's totally unfair. We all like what we like that's just plain facts. Anyway going to leave it there everyone stay safe xxx | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... Homophobia and racism are miles apart. You cant look at someone and tell if they are gay or not where as you can look at someone and tell whether they are black/white/Asian (for the most part anyway How many instances do we see? Especially on here where bi men pretend to be straight to avoid homophobia/biphobia, do you think a black person can pretend to be white in order to avoid racism For the most part, not meeting non-whites is not racist but stereotypes. We won't meet non-English/non-White people off fab, but we'll happily play with anyone we like in a club. 100% of our bad meets from fab have been in the above categories, so we'd be negligent to ourselves to continue meeting that demographic. Communication between different cultures is very different and I believe that plays a huge part in the issues. Face to face is so much more effective. Choosing who puts their cock inside me is my choice, to call someone phobic or racist for that basic human right is just idiotic. " I didn't once call you racist or phobic..... I think maybe you've quoted the wrong comment. | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. Not qualified? And homophobia and racism miles apart what are you talking about. As an educated person I totally understand and not finding something attractive is nothing to do with either it's a choice. Why do people read so much into everything? It's simply we like this or that and not this it has nothing to do with anything else just who we want to share our bed simple.... Homophobia and racism are miles apart. You cant look at someone and tell if they are gay or not where as you can look at someone and tell whether they are black/white/Asian (for the most part anyway How many instances do we see? Especially on here where bi men pretend to be straight to avoid homophobia/biphobia, do you think a black person can pretend to be white in order to avoid racism For the most part, not meeting non-whites is not racist but stereotypes. We won't meet non-English/non-White people off fab, but we'll happily play with anyone we like in a club. 100% of our bad meets from fab have been in the above categories, so we'd be negligent to ourselves to continue meeting that demographic. Communication between different cultures is very different and I believe that plays a huge part in the issues. Face to face is so much more effective. Choosing who puts their cock inside me is my choice, to call someone phobic or racist for that basic human right is just idiotic. I didn't once call you racist or phobic..... I think maybe you've quoted the wrong comment." Sorry I wasn't saying you did, sorry if read wrong nobody has called me anything I'd be miffed if they had. Proberbly came across wrong sorry technophobe here though for sure. Take care xxxxx | |||
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"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " Yes it’s ok you are just stating your preference I don’t get why people get so arsey about it. It’s the same with sexuality | |||
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"Put what you want on your profile
Can’t please everyone. Some will be ok with it, some won’t.
As long as your happy with your own profile then that’s all you can do "Amen! | |||
"We personally don't meet bi guys, married guys cheating if we know or black guys. That's just our preference lots of couples will and seek people we don't want to meet. We are not homophobic or racist just not our thing x If a black guy asks why you won't fuck him, are you going to say its because he's black?You're not our type, block and move on. You can have a preference and not be a dick about it. absolutely right. We have a choice who we have sex with as does everyone else. Is that not what gay pride etc stand for the right to choose and be who you want to be? And surely we have the same choice with our life. We have friends from all backgrounds and sexual orientation and they are our friends simple not labelled anything but dear friends. But we choose who shares our bed that doesn't need us to be anything, just what turns us on. Simples x Most people on here (mostly white people) are just not qualified to talk about race. They are not even close to knowing what racism is about (including me). And homophobia and racism are galaxies apart by the way. " | |||
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"There is no difference between writing any of the following: ‘Slim/ athletic people only” “No Asians thanks” “Under 45s only” They all exclude certain people. But it shouldn’t cause offence. I suppose it narrows the search, but means you get messages from the people you want to hear from. " You think "slim and athletic people only" is the same as "No Asians thanks"? Seriously? | |||
"There is no difference between writing any of the following: ‘Slim/ athletic people only” “No Asians thanks” “Under 45s only” They all exclude certain people. But it shouldn’t cause offence. I suppose it narrows the search, but means you get messages from the people you want to hear from. " Whilst they all do make a preference clear, I’m not sure that there is no difference between them. The tone of ‘no Asians’ is far different to the others | |||
"There is no difference between writing any of the following: ‘Slim/ athletic people only” “No Asians thanks” “Under 45s only” They all exclude certain people. But it shouldn’t cause offence. I suppose it narrows the search, but means you get messages from the people you want to hear from. Whilst they all do make a preference clear, I’m not sure that there is no difference between them. The tone of ‘no Asians’ is far different to the others "
I agree. If they wanted to meet Asians/Caucasians, etc only, they could be specific about what they want, rather than specifying who they don't want. | |||
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"I have a thing for asian girls... dont seem to find any here.. Hello if any read this :D" So many Asian girls have natural beauty, beautiful lips, gorgeous curves | |||
"C’mon now folks in this lifestyle preferences are paramount!!!! Let’s not get into a silly debate all of us have had preferences on here Who gives a shite whether you’re brown black white gay bi or anything else!!! If the fem/cpl/male ain’t interested in you then let it be!!!!! This is a swing site not any other social platform!!!! If someone doesn’t want to play with you then move forward don’t let it bother you " Exactly - who you will or won’t have sex with is very personal, and who you are physically attracted to can’t really be helped. I think it’s polite to specify so as not to waste anyone’s time! I prefer people being specific with what they are looking for, and what not. I don’t want to waste their time and don’t want them to waste mine. I’m big and curvy and if someone says on their profile they only want skinny ladies well then at least I know! Some people have very specific types they are attracted to, it’s just the way it is - just like some people like certain fetishes or not | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " If you change the word ‘profile’ to ‘job description’ you’ll have the answer. Some people here get really defensive about the label ‘racist’ but personal preferences are not yet governed by law, so feel free to go for whatever you want. | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. If you change the word ‘profile’ to ‘job description’ you’ll have the answer. Some people here get really defensive about the label ‘racist’ but personal preferences are not yet governed by law, so feel free to go for whatever you want. " Job and sexual differences are two completely different things? By that argument, you aren't even allowed to say that you prefer tall/short or VWE in your job descriptions. As for sexual preferences not being governed by law "yet", I hope it remains that way. One's sexual preferences are nobody else's business, especially not the government's. | |||
"I have a thing for asian girls... dont seem to find any here.. Hello if any read this :D So many Asian girls have natural beauty, beautiful lips, gorgeous curves" I played with one in a club just before lockdown she was amazing.. no luck since | |||
"Job and sexual differences are two completely different things? By that argument, you aren't even allowed to say that you prefer tall/short or VWE in your job descriptions. As for sexual preferences not being governed by law "yet", I hope it remains that way. One's sexual preferences are nobody else's business, especially not the government's." The original poster was inviting opinions on the topic of racial preferences. The majority of respondents have said it isn’t a problem. They are mostly Caucasian. I am mixed heritage and have given a different view. The OP clearly feels the topic is problematic: and I would agree. | |||
"Job and sexual differences are two completely different things? By that argument, you aren't even allowed to say that you prefer tall/short or VWE in your job descriptions. As for sexual preferences not being governed by law "yet", I hope it remains that way. One's sexual preferences are nobody else's business, especially not the government's. The original poster was inviting opinions on the topic of racial preferences. The majority of respondents have said it isn’t a problem. They are mostly Caucasian. I am mixed heritage and have given a different view. The OP clearly feels the topic is problematic: and I would agree. " I'm black and if I saw a profile from a white person/couple that said "BLACK WOMEN ONLY" I wouldn't go near them with a barge pole.... | |||
" I'm black and if I saw a profile from a white person/couple that said "BLACK WOMEN ONLY" I wouldn't go near them with a barge pole...." Agreed. | |||
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"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members." Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. | |||
"As a general point always that profiles stating what somebody wants come across better than profiles stating what you don't want. The positive just feels better than the negative. Looking for: White ladies Under 45 Slim Bi Sounds better than.... No Asian/black ladies No over 45 No curvy/bbw above size 14 No straight ladies PS just an example and not what I am looking for "This | |||
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"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. " How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise. | |||
"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise." As a fat black women someone not finding fat women attractive is NOT the same as someone being racist. | |||
"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise. As a fat black women someone not finding fat women attractive is NOT the same as someone being racist." Your comment is predicated on the assumption that people expressing preferences on Fab, a swinging site, are racist by default. This is unfair and by and large incorrect. You will note I said preferences should be expressed positively, and indeed we do not express preferences like this, but to say anyone who does is racist is unsustainable. As I said race and body anxiety are not the same in origin, but the hurt felt by those on the receiving end is no less because one is based on race and the other on appearance (indeed both are first identified visually, so not so different after all). Also, both are potentially protected characteristics under the Equality Act if say a physical attribute like obesity is classed as a disability (which it can be). As many have said in this thread, people are allowed to express a physical preference on a swinging site, and in so doing are not being racist or otherwise. | |||
"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise. As a fat black women someone not finding fat women attractive is NOT the same as someone being racist. Your comment is predicated on the assumption that people expressing preferences on Fab, a swinging site, are racist by default. This is unfair and by and large incorrect. You will note I said preferences should be expressed positively, and indeed we do not express preferences like this, but to say anyone who does is racist is unsustainable. As I said race and body anxiety are not the same in origin, but the hurt felt by those on the receiving end is no less because one is based on race and the other on appearance (indeed both are first identified visually, so not so different after all). Also, both are potentially protected characteristics under the Equality Act if say a physical attribute like obesity is classed as a disability (which it can be). As many have said in this thread, people are allowed to express a physical preference on a swinging site, and in so doing are not being racist or otherwise." I didn't say anything about preferences and racism Did you reply to the right comment? | |||
"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise. As a fat black women someone not finding fat women attractive is NOT the same as someone being racist. Your comment is predicated on the assumption that people expressing preferences on Fab, a swinging site, are racist by default. This is unfair and by and large incorrect. You will note I said preferences should be expressed positively, and indeed we do not express preferences like this, but to say anyone who does is racist is unsustainable. As I said race and body anxiety are not the same in origin, but the hurt felt by those on the receiving end is no less because one is based on race and the other on appearance (indeed both are first identified visually, so not so different after all). Also, both are potentially protected characteristics under the Equality Act if say a physical attribute like obesity is classed as a disability (which it can be). As many have said in this thread, people are allowed to express a physical preference on a swinging site, and in so doing are not being racist or otherwise. I didn't say anything about preferences and racism Did you reply to the right comment?" Your comment incorporated previous content on the point and appeared to be made in support of the notion. If you weren’t suggesting all racial based preferences are based in racism, then we agree, but if not, then we don’t. I also addressed the point about comparing race and body preferences, which you were clearly commenting on. That said, it’s fine to agree to differ, and if I jumped the gun, I apologise. | |||
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"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. As I have said before race is far too big a subject for most people on here to comment on (including me) and its obvious people do not understand what they are talking about by reducing it lower levels discrimination. How condescending. People with serious body image anxiety or even dysmorphia may beg to differ. Both this and racism are complex issues, but neither is less painful to the recipient. That said, expressing a preference is not driven by racism in the context of swinging no matter how loud our moral overlords suggest otherwise." You really do need to read some books. You cannot compare something of a seismic magnitude to body image. As I've said before, people cannot comprehend this issue and I do hope someone closes this thread sooner rather than later | |||
"Oh dear when did the morality police decide I could not have personal preferences??? Our sexual identity and the resulting preferences are typically formed early in our lives and, more importantly, are largely out of our control. Does that mean we are prejudice or discriminatory by default, I don't think so. If I have a preference for Caucasian women rather than Black, Asian or Oriental, does that make me racist, again no. It's intetesting that we hear very little if at all about profiles, often female, saying no bald or overweight guys, or the inverse of only wanting "gym fit" and other euphemisms. Most people on here are decent enough and their preferences are not driven by prejudice, but instead their innate sexual preferences. Yes one can make an effort to express those preferences in a positive manner but let's be clear, we are allowed to have and express them, and it is not acceptable for the self appointed morality police to appropriate and inflict outrage on other well meaning fab members. Tying racism in with overweight people is incredibly insulting. You do have the right to not want to fuck black people but you do not have a right to put it out on media and expect others to accept it. " Wait, so I don’t want to have sex with white men because it’s been a dogs age since I found one physically attractive, but it’s not ok for me to put that on my profile and expect others to accept it? Why? I don’t understand I’m not racist, I think white people are great. I’m fact I am one. I just don’t want to have sex with a male one. Happily have sex with a female one though. But it’s not ok for me to say this? I think it is. I think it’s fine. | |||
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"If not wanting to have sex with someone and openly saying it is racist, it opens up a can of worms. If a kinky dominant male says in his profile that he is looking for sex with submissive women, does it make him a misogynist? Some could find that "unacceptable". If you start applying real world morality in the swinging and kink scene, there are plenty you would find "unacceptable". Who someone wants to have sex with and how they want to go about it is none of other people's business. I thought swinging and kink scenes are non-judgemental spaces. But going by some comments on here, apparently not "Imagine if everytime you swiped left on tinder you had to justify your morals and preferences. The issue with shaming people for having preferences really starts to play into how free someone is to consent. Are they going to feel pressured in a club to play because they don't feel strong enough to say no and risk being accused of being racist? | |||
"If not wanting to have sex with someone and openly saying it is racist, it opens up a can of worms. If a kinky dominant male says in his profile that he is looking for sex with submissive women, does it make him a misogynist? Some could find that "unacceptable". If you start applying real world morality in the swinging and kink scene, there are plenty you would find "unacceptable". Who someone wants to have sex with and how they want to go about it is none of other people's business. I thought swinging and kink scenes are non-judgemental spaces. But going by some comments on here, apparently not
Imagine if everytime you swiped left on tinder you had to justify your morals and preferences.
The issue with shaming people for having preferences really starts to play into how free someone is to consent. Are they going to feel pressured in a club to play because they don't feel strong enough to say no and risk being accused of being racist?"Exactly! | |||
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"It’s not like we are looking only that specific type but we would love to meet them as we think that group is sexy as hell for us.Mrs is getting so horny about thinking about all these girl,she never have them enough Why does it need to be in your profile? Go looking for who you want to meet." Just curious to know if you think people who put only looking for BBC is racist? Because that seems to be accepted accross fab | |||
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"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol" My G Listen to yourself mate!!! If a couple or a single female don’t find a guy whom is of an ethnic background attractive that’s their choice/preference!!!!! No ethnic minority should be arguing with that decision and have to learn to accept it…. No one is going to be anyone’s preference so if you’re knocked back then move forward, it’s not a good thing to abuse someone who don’t want you!!!!!! Anyone want to argue that with me???? | |||
"Just curious to know if you think people who put only looking for BBC is racist? Because that seems to be accepted accross fab " In my opinion it’s tasteless and borderline racist, yes. People just don’t consider how this stereotype impacts young black teenage boys today. It’s poison. And it’s worth remembering that the UK sold jam with a racist logo until 2002! | |||
" ‘the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another’ " You can also expand the same definition to sexism and claim that all gay men are sexist. You can expand the definition to any immutable characteristic and claim that sexual preferences around them is bigotry. Are some of the people who have ethnic preferences racist? Pretty sure there are. But who cares? One's sexual preferences are one's own businesses. Sex is a matter of individual choice and not a matter of social justice, like jobs. | |||
"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol" You are mistaken x | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " Nothing wrong with it. Just need to think about how you word it. Seen some car crashes coz folk don’t engage their brain first lol | |||
"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol My G Listen to yourself mate!!! If a couple or a single female don’t find a guy whom is of an ethnic background attractive that’s their choice/preference!!!!! No ethnic minority should be arguing with that decision and have to learn to accept it…. No one is going to be anyone’s preference so if you’re knocked back then move forward, it’s not a good thing to abuse someone who don’t want you!!!!!! Anyone want to argue that with me????" It's just some people who think "Here is a sexual preference/kink that I don't have but other people have. This is a great opportunity for me to show my moral superiority over them by shaming them them for it. My preferences good, their preferences bad." As an ethnic minority, the last thing I want is for people to guilted and shamed for not wanting to have sex with us. There are much multiple problems in the world when it comes to racial relations and sexual preference ain't one of them. | |||
"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol My G Listen to yourself mate!!! If a couple or a single female don’t find a guy whom is of an ethnic background attractive that’s their choice/preference!!!!! No ethnic minority should be arguing with that decision and have to learn to accept it…. No one is going to be anyone’s preference so if you’re knocked back then move forward, it’s not a good thing to abuse someone who don’t want you!!!!!! Anyone want to argue that with me???? It's just some people who think "Here is a sexual preference/kink that I don't have but other people have. This is a great opportunity for me to show my moral superiority over them by shaming them them for it. My preferences good, their preferences bad." As an ethnic minority, the last thing I want is for people to guilted and shamed for not wanting to have sex with us. There are much multiple problems in the world when it comes to racial relations and sexual preference ain't one of them." 100% and this what (some)white people don't seem to understand when they get involved in conversations about race no one is attacking anyone over their preferences, but some people are openly ignorant/disrespectful with it and that's where people start getting racist vibes | |||
"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol My G Listen to yourself mate!!! If a couple or a single female don’t find a guy whom is of an ethnic background attractive that’s their choice/preference!!!!! No ethnic minority should be arguing with that decision and have to learn to accept it…. No one is going to be anyone’s preference so if you’re knocked back then move forward, it’s not a good thing to abuse someone who don’t want you!!!!!! Anyone want to argue that with me???? It's just some people who think "Here is a sexual preference/kink that I don't have but other people have. This is a great opportunity for me to show my moral superiority over them by shaming them them for it. My preferences good, their preferences bad." As an ethnic minority, the last thing I want is for people to guilted and shamed for not wanting to have sex with us. There are much multiple problems in the world when it comes to racial relations and sexual preference ain't one of them. 100% and this what (some)white people don't seem to understand when they get involved in conversations about race no one is attacking anyone over their preferences, but some people are openly ignorant/disrespectful with it and that's where people start getting racist vibes " I agree with the posts here about writing the preferences in their profile in a respectful tone. But there are plenty of posts on here saying that sexual preferences based on ethnicity are wrong. | |||
"If im not mistaken every single ethnic person involved seems to say they dont care and go right ahead with it. Whether its right or not doesnt matter. The people have spoken lol My G Listen to yourself mate!!! If a couple or a single female don’t find a guy whom is of an ethnic background attractive that’s their choice/preference!!!!! No ethnic minority should be arguing with that decision and have to learn to accept it…. No one is going to be anyone’s preference so if you’re knocked back then move forward, it’s not a good thing to abuse someone who don’t want you!!!!!! Anyone want to argue that with me???? It's just some people who think "Here is a sexual preference/kink that I don't have but other people have. This is a great opportunity for me to show my moral superiority over them by shaming them them for it. My preferences good, their preferences bad." As an ethnic minority, the last thing I want is for people to guilted and shamed for not wanting to have sex with us. There are much multiple problems in the world when it comes to racial relations and sexual preference ain't one of them. 100% and this what (some)white people don't seem to understand when they get involved in conversations about race no one is attacking anyone over their preferences, but some people are openly ignorant/disrespectful with it and that's where people start getting racist vibes I agree with the posts here about writing the preferences in their profile in a respectful tone. But there are plenty of posts on here saying that sexual preferences based on ethnicity are wrong. " Usually posted by people who the preference excludes There is absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences, it just boils down to how you word itv | |||
"We are wondering is it ok tu put in our profile some ethnic preferences? We love to play with all open minded people but both have some type of people what we love to play with. " Why shouldnt you ?? Surely your choice | |||
