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Ghosting on day of meets for someone else
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months |
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "
I think they're mad to have done so op.. but on a serious note that is pretty poor behaviour on their part |
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Exactly the same happened to me last Friday.
Had a social the week before, messaging several times a day (mainly instigated by him), arranged to meet on the Friday. He messaged the night before saying he was excited..... Friday came, late afternoon got a message saying he needed to fix his van. Saturday morning and he had a new a verification and a fairly graphic description of the brilliant Friday night they'd had.
Yes its 'NSA' but we all have emotions and feelings. I was pretty hurt, and annoyed with myself.
I guess what I'm saying is, it happens. It's not unusual. It's not you. They obviously don't respect you, so delete and move on. They aren't deserving of your emotional energy.
Big hugs, have a great weekend xx |
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It happened to me years ago on my own profile
Had a social meet arranged with a single male,he cancels day before as he now has to have his child.
No problem ,I understand these things crop up.
Next day shiny new graphic veri from a woman & it was clear they'd met the night we were due to.
I blocked him right away ,it's obvious he didn't want to chance a social meet ,that wouldn't guarantee him anything.
It sucks ,but there's a lot of dishonest people on here sadly who would rather just go quiet or lie ,rather than be upfront.
Miss |
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "
It’s happened to me twice mate, each time a solo female profile.
Fair play to them for having a ‘Plan b’, but I would never lead someone on like that, so just block and move on (as I do)  |
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O.P I was told once this is FAB and no one has to care for the feelings or emotions of others.
People are here to please themselves and no one else.
I keep that in my mind on here, but then again I message no one took down my photos, and now use the forums.
There are places to meet other likeminded people like ourselves, in the real world which are not clubs, or socials the only things you pay for are your drinks. |
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Fab essentially mirrors human mating instincts at its most basic level, especially for men.
People talk to multiple people simultaneously. Which ever option is viable and presenting the most ticks will be the one chosen.
If you arrange a meet and it’s a social one, and the other option is more than a social, guess which one they’d choose.
If one option is better looking than the other and both options are social meets, guess which one they’d choose.
It’s natural. The only thing bad about it is when they lie to you with some shitty excuse and then you see the veri up the next day.
But it’s the modern hook-up scene in all its brutality. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "
It happens all to often. Time waiting, some people like the idea and cochair of swinging but they shot their bolt when they realise it will actually happen. |
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "
Although some ghostings are undoubtedly the result of timewasters/ fakes/keyboard wankers/ fantasists it is becoming common now to contact a number of potential meets in order to achieve just one due to the low rate of success. Very often, rather than go through the agony of saying thanks but we have selected someone else, it’s becoming increasingly common to go quiet and ghost. Now you could say ‘I’m nobody’s second choice’ or just ‘screw you, you’re blocked’, send an angry message, complain bitterly or maybe just… leave it, keep the door open, just let it go…
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months
Although some ghostings are undoubtedly the result of timewasters/ fakes/keyboard wankers/ fantasists it is becoming common now to contact a number of potential meets in order to achieve just one due to the low rate of success. Very often, rather than go through the agony of saying thanks but we have selected someone else, it’s becoming increasingly common to go quiet and ghost. Now you could say ‘I’m nobody’s second choice’ or just ‘screw you, you’re blocked’, send an angry message, complain bitterly or maybe just… leave it, keep the door open, just let it go…
"
That's been my stance, but when it's the 5th time from one person where I thought there was a connection it does get demoralising! |
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By *JandCMCouple
over a year ago
cardiff |
Last year had a meet as a single M with a couple.
Exchanged quite a few messages, excepted as friend n sent pics back n forth.
Arranged a meat, time n place.
About 20 minutes before I was about to leave got message they couldn't make it.
By the next day I was unfriended n would not reply to me.
Worst thing was that I was convinced they weren't time wasters as they had over 50 meet verifications.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open and honest is not hard to do for many of us Op.
Was arranging a social to find out they just had verification of a meet.
The tireless messages to another who was always on holidays or work meeting.
Flirting with someone to be ghosted for days.
You are not alone op.
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months
Although some ghostings are undoubtedly the result of timewasters/ fakes/keyboard wankers/ fantasists it is becoming common now to contact a number of potential meets in order to achieve just one due to the low rate of success. Very often, rather than go through the agony of saying thanks but we have selected someone else, it’s becoming increasingly common to go quiet and ghost. Now you could say ‘I’m nobody’s second choice’ or just ‘screw you, you’re blocked’, send an angry message, complain bitterly or maybe just… leave it, keep the door open, just let it go…
"
This is true up to a point if you have not yet fixed a date/time etc. However, extremely rude and unreasonable to do so AFTER making actual plans. It happened to me before. Lady suggested the meet day after a social. Then blocked me on the day. A few months later unblocked me so I messaged. She said "I just got a better offer". She also said "By the way you are ugly, smelly and a horrible person". Wonder why she suggested meeting and fixing a date in that case. Some people are just horrible and get a kick out of pissing people around. She is still here and her profile has lots of comments about wanting people who are polite, respectful with good manners etc. Yeah right. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
there are and have always been a core of couples and women who think its ok to mess guys around just like the core of couples who hate single men being in clubs and just like men who mess around too ... sadly its part n parcel of the scene just that couples and women dont get slated like the guys do ...
its wrong very wrong and id suggest to anyone who gets messed around to block and move on .... of course not all are messer's and some will be genuine
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
We'd never do it but can see how people are tempted, but some couples book three meets in the hope that one turns up then cancel the rest. We generally meet single guys at home and four out of five never show or cancel last minute. In theory, if we booked five at half hour slots, when one shows up we could cancel the rest.
It's awful behaviour, though.
(Bry) |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
wow i got to be honest this profile or our couples profile we cannot remember the last guy who never turned up its a very very rare event ...
we are very strict in our selection and stick to a process of how we pick guys for meets 80% of our meets are arranged on the same day the other 20% within a week we never ever plan anything further ahead as that where most of the let downs happen .... i think to many trust to many on this scene ....
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
Had a social with a guy, messaging all the time leading up to the next meet, messaged me the morning of it saying he wished i was with him now rather than working
When I asked him in the afternoon what time were we meeting he said he was going to be late back so could we meet in the week.
He was actually already back, his Snapchat gave his active location 
Now hidden his profile and ignored messages.
I feel he's got a gf and got cold feet in the end 
Gives single guys a bad name for sure |
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Playing devil's advocate...on one hand you can understand if someone is aware of a window opportunity to play is coming up..they're sorting out potential meets..and at last minute go with one most (so they think) suitable to them to the detriment of others they have made think they were meeting...they're playing odds and keeping their options open till last minute.
The failure to be honest with the others is am indication of their true character in normal life...
Yes no one owes anyone anything on here..but Manners and honesty cost nothing.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.
I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.
Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.
Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "
Hi op
It happens sometimes. It is not respectul. At least tell you. They do not. Had it happened to me. Block.. Not interested in someone's dishonesty it sucks  |
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"Playing devil's advocate...on one hand you can understand if someone is aware of a window opportunity to play is coming up..they're sorting out potential meets..and at last minute go with one most (so they think) suitable to them to the detriment of others they have made think they were meeting...they're playing odds and keeping their options open till last minute.
The failure to be honest with the others is am indication of their true character in normal life...
Yes no one owes anyone anything on here..but Manners and honesty cost nothing.."
I understand that if you're talking to a few people and no one has committed yet. But once you've made plans with someone I'd say that's that. I might still talk to the others but I'd have to arrange a different time to play with them, because now I have agreed to plays with someone. |
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