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How to introduce a lady to my swinging side?
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How long have you been seeing her?
My opinion is that it's best to be open about this stuff early on, especially if you don't want to give it up. Obviously you can't just bring it up in conversation but maybe ask for a 'where's this going ' chat and lay your cards on the table also giving her the opportunity to do the same.
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Hi op
Maybe ask if she's ever thought about exploring her sexual side. Like things you either see or hear about and what, does she think about it in general.... Make it sound like you were watching something and got you thinking and wanted her opinion on this.... If she has thought about it let your own cat out of the bag  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tallman and I have known each other for years through work, but got together a little while non work related. We were FWB to begin with. We were on a walk around a local beauty spot when he brought it up, matter of fact. I can remember feeling a little dissociated, but heard him out. Initially I said he could carry on, but I wasn't interested. But it got me thinking. We talked about swinging a bit more. He never pressurised me, not once. We just talked. We became a couple, and I think it was a little after that I said I'd go to a club with him. I was reassured that nothing would happen unless I was 100% sure. Needless to say, I enjoyed the club experience and here we are.
So, communication is very important, as is no expectations.
Good luck, OP. |
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"Just tell her you're on here and see how she takes it. She will walk away or want to know more."
I agree with this. It's really early days I'm guessing if the op wants to bring it up now it's because he feels it's important to him. Might as well get it out in the open now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's 2023 we've had bit of a blip and basically told all our friends. We where very surprised with the reactions as most of the women thought it was brilliant and wanted to know more. Think you'd be surprised, people are more open these days |
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The longer you leave it the harder it will get to be honest with her.
If you wait too long and then tell her you are on here she may feel she has been lied to or deceived about who you really are.
Whenever you do it you run the risk of her backing off so sooner is probably better than later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been seeing a lady off the site.
Just wondering if anyone else had successfully managed to introduce a lady to the world of swinging. How to approach would be handy."
What exactly do you mean? You want to be a swinging couple with her?
Why not just talk about swinging and ask what she thinks or knows about it. |
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"It's 2023 we've had bit of a blip and basically told all our friends. We where very surprised with the reactions as most of the women thought it was brilliant and wanted to know more. Think you'd be surprised, people are more open these days "
Well done you! We're less bothered now than we used to be, a few know we do naturist stuff but no interest shown, but none *really* know about this side. Just a few I've joked with when saying "aching like mad from the weekend orgy". They jest but no one dares ask!
We have one F friend who knows, well we've taken her to a club and had some fun times, but she keeps getting boyfriends  but she always seems to open up about naturist stuff and mentions her naughty friends lol - so thats how she broaches it! She's told more people about us than we have! (different area/circles, so not a problem) |
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By *cLovin2 OP Man
over a year ago
Reading |
"Tallman and I have known each other for years through work, but got together a little while non work related. We were FWB to begin with. We were on a walk around a local beauty spot when he brought it up, matter of fact. I can remember feeling a little dissociated, but heard him out. Initially I said he could carry on, but I wasn't interested. But it got me thinking. We talked about swinging a bit more. He never pressurised me, not once. We just talked. We became a couple, and I think it was a little after that I said I'd go to a club with him. I was reassured that nothing would happen unless I was 100% sure. Needless to say, I enjoyed the club experience and here we are.
So, communication is very important, as is no expectations.
Good luck, OP. "
This is pretty much what I was thinking myself. Thanks. I will bring it up and make a judgement then |
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Just be open and honest, use it as fantasy/dirty talk to see if she actually gets turned on by the idea if she is open to you doing that
If she fancies dabbling, it needs to 100% be at her own pace
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’ve known her for 4 weeks on and off?
Swinging needs a solid relationship in whatever form.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but this will more likely end in tears  |
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"You’ve known her for 4 weeks on and off?
Swinging needs a solid relationship in whatever form.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but this will more likely end in tears "
Does it need a solid relationship? Of they're both keen on casual sex, fantasy fulfillment and can be honest with each other I reckon it could be successful. When it comes down to it, it's just sex and if they're genuinely in it together it won't affect their relationship.
I agree that if you're starting swinging after being together for a while you need to be solid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’ve known her for 4 weeks on and off?
Swinging needs a solid relationship in whatever form.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but this will more likely end in tears
Does it need a solid relationship? Of they're both keen on casual sex, fantasy fulfillment and can be honest with each other I reckon it could be successful. When it comes down to it, it's just sex and if they're genuinely in it together it won't affect their relationship.
I agree that if you're starting swinging after being together for a while you need to be solid"
What would we know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tallman and I have known each other for years through work, but got together a little while non work related. We were FWB to begin with. We were on a walk around a local beauty spot when he brought it up, matter of fact. I can remember feeling a little dissociated, but heard him out. Initially I said he could carry on, but I wasn't interested. But it got me thinking. We talked about swinging a bit more. He never pressurised me, not once. We just talked. We became a couple, and I think it was a little after that I said I'd go to a club with him. I was reassured that nothing would happen unless I was 100% sure. Needless to say, I enjoyed the club experience and here we are.
So, communication is very important, as is no expectations.
Good luck, OP. "
Thats so lovely.. Yes, op agree communication is key. |
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"You’ve known her for 4 weeks on and off?
Swinging needs a solid relationship in whatever form.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but this will more likely end in tears
Does it need a solid relationship? Of they're both keen on casual sex, fantasy fulfillment and can be honest with each other I reckon it could be successful. When it comes down to it, it's just sex and if they're genuinely in it together it won't affect their relationship.
I agree that if you're starting swinging after being together for a while you need to be solid
What would we know? "
Plenty I suspect  . I was just opening up discussion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd sit down and watch something like Open house on channel 4 with her. Ask her her thoughts on the couples and if she's ever thought of exploring herself. |
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Hopefully she will have come across it herself by now if similar age to you. I think it is a lot more mainstream than it used to be.
Personally I got the chat over as soon as I could because in my previous marriage I had bottled up desires as my ex wife was so terribly prude and there was no way we should have got married. So I learnt the hard way and vowed to myself and Mrs N that I would always be completely open and if she didn't like something pipe up and tell me.
There is a caveat though...... What does inevitably happen is as we go through life our sexuality changes as we explore new things so how do you know when you are first setting out on this road whether something you previously thought was taboo is something you will get to like and lustfully desire.
It might be something your new partner might not like very much. I guess the answer to that is keep talking and never bottle things up for too long. |
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"Hopefully she will have come across it herself by now if similar age to you. I think it is a lot more mainstream than it used to be.
Personally I got the chat over as soon as I could because in my previous marriage I had bottled up desires as my ex wife was so terribly prude and there was no way we should have got married. So I learnt the hard way and vowed to myself and Mrs N that I would always be completely open and if she didn't like something pipe up and tell me.
There is a caveat though...... What does inevitably happen is as we go through life our sexuality changes as we explore new things so how do you know when you are first setting out on this road whether something you previously thought was taboo is something you will get to like and lustfully desire.
It might be something your new partner might not like very much. I guess the answer to that is keep talking and never bottle things up for too long."
Are you saying your ex wife was a prude because she didn't want to swing? |
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"Hopefully she will have come across it herself by now if similar age to you. I think it is a lot more mainstream than it used to be.
Personally I got the chat over as soon as I could because in my previous marriage I had bottled up desires as my ex wife was so terribly prude and there was no way we should have got married. So I learnt the hard way and vowed to myself and Mrs N that I would always be completely open and if she didn't like something pipe up and tell me.
There is a caveat though...... What does inevitably happen is as we go through life our sexuality changes as we explore new things so how do you know when you are first setting out on this road whether something you previously thought was taboo is something you will get to like and lustfully desire.
It might be something your new partner might not like very much. I guess the answer to that is keep talking and never bottle things up for too long.
Are you saying your ex wife was a prude because she didn't want to swing?"
Why should that matter to you ? if you don't mind me asking. My ex wife is very happy nowadays as she is with Mr right. |
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"Hopefully she will have come across it herself by now if similar age to you. I think it is a lot more mainstream than it used to be.
Personally I got the chat over as soon as I could because in my previous marriage I had bottled up desires as my ex wife was so terribly prude and there was no way we should have got married. So I learnt the hard way and vowed to myself and Mrs N that I would always be completely open and if she didn't like something pipe up and tell me.
There is a caveat though...... What does inevitably happen is as we go through life our sexuality changes as we explore new things so how do you know when you are first setting out on this road whether something you previously thought was taboo is something you will get to like and lustfully desire.
It might be something your new partner might not like very much. I guess the answer to that is keep talking and never bottle things up for too long.
Are you saying your ex wife was a prude because she didn't want to swing?
Why should that matter to you ? if you don't mind me asking. My ex wife is very happy nowadays as she is with Mr right."
I was simply being nosey |
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"Hopefully she will have come across it herself by now if similar age to you. I think it is a lot more mainstream than it used to be.
Personally I got the chat over as soon as I could because in my previous marriage I had bottled up desires as my ex wife was so terribly prude and there was no way we should have got married. So I learnt the hard way and vowed to myself and Mrs N that I would always be completely open and if she didn't like something pipe up and tell me.
There is a caveat though...... What does inevitably happen is as we go through life our sexuality changes as we explore new things so how do you know when you are first setting out on this road whether something you previously thought was taboo is something you will get to like and lustfully desire.
It might be something your new partner might not like very much. I guess the answer to that is keep talking and never bottle things up for too long.
Are you saying your ex wife was a prude because she didn't want to swing?
Why should that matter to you ? if you don't mind me asking. My ex wife is very happy nowadays as she is with Mr right.
I was simply being nosey "
No worries,
I probably should have just said we weren't compatible. Apologies for my mistake. We all make them eh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been seeing a lady off the site.
Just wondering if anyone else had successfully managed to introduce a lady to the world of swinging. How to approach would be handy."
Tbh it would depend how long you had been seeing her. If only a short time why would you want to swing? Yet again if it’s been a short time do you not want to concentrate on that ? |
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You just need to communicate about your mutual needs and interests. It's probably a progressive undertaking of, as you also build trust. It may be quicker, if you're very compatible and you both ascertain this but obviously, neither you nor us know at the moment. These explorations and early relationships can go in many directions, including splitting up. Some people take a very long time to develop a swinging interest, so the best advice is to not leave someone perceiving any pressure
Have you agreed to monogamy? |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Introduce her to swinging"? What about her perhaps wanting to introduce you to monogamy?
Swinging is something you enter into as a couple because you want to share the sexual enjoyment and realise your joint fantasies. Coercing a partner into swinging is not a good place to start. At this stage of your relationship just tell her you're a swinger. She'll either run a mile or express some interest. Either way it'll be her choice, not yours. |
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""Introduce her to swinging"? What about her perhaps wanting to introduce you to monogamy?
Swinging is something you enter into as a couple because you want to share the sexual enjoyment and realise your joint fantasies. Coercing a partner into swinging is not a good place to start. At this stage of your relationship just tell her you're a swinger. She'll either run a mile or express some interest. Either way it'll be her choice, not yours. "
Oh and this. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
Some similarities with the OP a lady that I met who just wanted a FWB encounters.Neither of us can accommodate and neither of us can do overnight in a hotel.She had always wanted to try a 3sum and with the help of a friend on Fabs we arranged one which we all enjoyed and hope to do again.We agreed we would meet for a meal then go of to Rios spa enjoy the facilities and have adult fun together which we do.We have been clear with each other from day one.She is not interested in women or gang bang but is happy with one on one with me or a 3sum with me and friendly non pushy guys we meet at Rios which we hope to do in the near future |
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Further to the point about desires/needs/wants changing..
When i met my partner i was open from the beginning about my sexuality & dressing, and she was always fine about it.
We went to a club after being told about it by friends, initially just to give me a safe place to dress & meet men.
One night we played with others & realised we liked it.
Rules were set, both would only play with the same sex.
Over time, that's changed & now she meets men & couples whilst I'm in permanent chastity.
I grew to find the cuckold scene a huge turn on & love being used too. |
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