FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why don’t guys have condoms?
Why don’t guys have condoms?
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I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject? |
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We turn up with lots , and we mean 20 or 30
And sometimes we run out
When your going from partner to play mate , condom off for a bj , you go through plenty
Once there were 7 of us in a room at purple mamba
We exhausted our supply and we all had plenty
Used everything that was in a bowl on the side
And then single guys who were at the door watching, were supplying them to us
They obviously didn't want the show to stop
And as for not using them ?
From a guys point of view , and im not saying forget sti,s , but if someone one said your welcome to enjoy my partener , here's a condom
I wouldn't be walking away lol
We sometimes think that guys use the , i dont like using a condom , as a get out of jail free card for can we say , any performance issues that they might have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours. |
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"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours."
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me  |
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
I’ve noticed this when meeting guys at bi events. A lot of them either don’t have any or may have one tucked into the wristband of their locker key. I’ve also become extremely cautious of private meets with some men for the same reason.
For me safe sex is non-negotiable, so I aways have a little bag with some condoms and lube with me. |
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By *odkajemWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used."
Of course they are!! They're selfish, don't care about anything other than themselves and you're giving them what they want anyway!!
It doesn't seem, it IS one sided.
You ARE being used. Not only that, you're rewarding shitty, selfish men who obviously have bareback with others so your sti risk is massively higher, definitely stop it for all these reasons and watch your mental health improve!   |
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I have learned much over the years.
As a teen and in my 20’s I had the view that not having one might lead to bareback, and if she ends up insisting, I can always find one somewhere.
Now I always have one so that on the rare chance i meet someone and get to the point we need one, she might feel more comfortable and respected if she didn’t have to tell me to put one on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s basically my job to sort out condoms and lube. It’s an important part of it all, and an important responsibility - I don’t want Sophie to get something or be hurt in any way (other than what she wants!).
We normally get ours form Amazon - Skyn Intense Feel do the trick as do Pasante Kings Size for the big boys |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
#notallguys
You must be very “lucky” OP to bump into these who has no condoms with them. All my mates single or partnered, not even at a club has a condom to hand as you never know what life holds for you round the corner |
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"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours.
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me "
You make a fair point.
I guess the thinking is the penetrative sex causes more abrasions to thin membranes which allow bacteria and viruses to penetrate more easily.
The mouth is rather more used to mechanical movement.
I guess we don’t taste with other openings
But you do have a point and a condom can be turned into a dental dam |
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I remember being caught on the hop once going to a club in Wales. The two clubs I've frequented in Scotland (CJ's and after eight / after dark) both provided condoms (easily accessible in bowls in the rooms). I'd come to think of it as standard practice.
Luckily the club sold them at the desk and I bought a few before heading in to have a great evening.
The experience taught me that attitudes to condoms seem to be locally dependent and from then on I've always checked in advance. |
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We’ve been asked loads for condoms over the years. We always have plenty with us.
If we’re feeling generous we’ll oblige and give one.
If we’re feeling cruel then you’re walking back to the bar / your locker.
90% of the time it’s the latter.  |
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
"We’ve been asked loads for condoms over the years. We always have plenty with us.
If we’re feeling generous we’ll oblige and give one.
If we’re feeling cruel then you’re walking back to the bar / your locker.
90% of the time it’s the latter. "
Oh that's just mean,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
Thats just bazaar if someone isn't going to care about there own sexual health then how can you trust they are going to care about others, yes of course without a condom feels better but would never risk it with a stranger that I've only just met in a club, I always carry 2 with me and have plenty in my locker when at a club, would never expect the lady to have to have them nore have I ever come across a lady with them but good on you for having some with you |
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"So you'd suck a guy off without a condom but safety comes first  "
You have to admit, the risk is minimal..I mean who uses a condom for a blow job or dental dam for oral?( most people wouldn't know what the latter is lol).
Ever since I can remember this accusation has been thrown at men, and yes some of us are irresponsible, but is this not a shared responsibility?
I find the easiest way, when I want to use protection is to provide it, I do realise not everyone thinks this way.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
I thought most clubs provided. Gay bars used to until funding cuts |
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
I thought most clubs provided. Gay bars used to until funding cuts "
With the cost of admission etc, surely clubs provide such basic essentials..even if it's a donation to the local clinic etc.
We are all in this together.. |
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"So you'd suck a guy off without a condom but safety comes first "
Nobody can give me a hard and fast explanation for this, but plenty are quick to slag off those who play bare with selective people but get checked |
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"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours.
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me "
I believe the term is safer sex..
My own experience suggests it's extremely rare to find anyone that uses a condom for a blow job and many people refuse too.
The risk is relatively low hence safer. |
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
No glove no love, always been our policy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours.
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me
You make a fair point.
I guess the thinking is the penetrative sex causes more abrasions to thin membranes which allow bacteria and viruses to penetrate more easily.
The mouth is rather more used to mechanical movement.
I guess we don’t taste with other openings
But you do have a point and a condom can be turned into a dental dam"
Teeth in contact with a pussy or cock, or fingernails in a pussy create orders of magnitude more abrasions than a cock in a pussy.
Anyone who is serious about "safe sex" will insist on using a condom for sucking cock and a dam for licking pussy. If all they do is insist on a condom on on a cock if it is inside a pussy/ass they are only paying lip service and playing dress-up.
We see women and couples in clubs that are perfectly happy for the condom covered cock to pull out, take off the condom and then give a facial or cum all over the woman's ass/pussy. But they are *safe* because while the cock was inside it was in a condom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours.
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me
You make a fair point.
I guess the thinking is the penetrative sex causes more abrasions to thin membranes which allow bacteria and viruses to penetrate more easily.
The mouth is rather more used to mechanical movement.
I guess we don’t taste with other openings
But you do have a point and a condom can be turned into a dental dam"
As a doctor I would like to say that putting your dick in someone's mouth can give them an STI, same as licking pussy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
If "safety comes first" why are you giving BJs without a condom?!
Sucking cock bareback is *not* safe sex.
Eating pussy bareback is *not* safe sex.
Getting a facial is *not* safe sex.
Suggestion is to use a femidom, you don't need to ask if they have a condom, you don't need to ensure they keep it on, if you suck cock bareback then there is no condom to take off/swap, if there is more than one pussy involved you don't need to ensure condoms are changed between pussies. Use dams for anyone eating your pussy and change them between different mouths or if the mouth changes to another pussy and back to yours.
Am I missing something when it comes to "safe sex" profiles that give BJs without a condom? Always confuses me
You make a fair point.
I guess the thinking is the penetrative sex causes more abrasions to thin membranes which allow bacteria and viruses to penetrate more easily.
The mouth is rather more used to mechanical movement.
I guess we don’t taste with other openings
But you do have a point and a condom can be turned into a dental dam
Teeth in contact with a pussy or cock, or fingernails in a pussy create orders of magnitude more abrasions than a cock in a pussy.
Anyone who is serious about "safe sex" will insist on using a condom for sucking cock and a dam for licking pussy. If all they do is insist on a condom on on a cock if it is inside a pussy/ass they are only paying lip service and playing dress-up.
We see women and couples in clubs that are perfectly happy for the condom covered cock to pull out, take off the condom and then give a facial or cum all over the woman's ass/pussy. But they are *safe* because while the cock was inside it was in a condom."
I got messaged by a woman off here a few days ago calling me a moron for advocating for safe sex.
I work in blood sciences and so many people think dick in pussy is the only way to get am sti. If that was the case how do gay women pass on STIs to other Gay women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always carry lots, but if a guy has none at all, he doesn't get any fun with me at all. I understand a guy running out mid play and then I'll happily supply. |
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*Sigh*
So once again we descend down the same circlejerk.
Is there a non-zero risk of an STI if you give a BJ/Eat pussy without protection - Yes.
Is there a non-zero risk of an STI if you DO use a rubber for oral - Yes.
People can have their own boundaries and rules, you do you, but the amount of fart sniffing that goes on here about a delta of risk that probably amounts to 0.0005% or so per shag is hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No sex is without risk so if you want to enjoy it get checked out regularly.
I really don't see how you can enjoy sucking cocks with a condom."
If they check you out and it says you have HIV or AIDs then your kinda fucked though right. |
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"No sex is without risk so if you want to enjoy it get checked out regularly.
I really don't see how you can enjoy sucking cocks with a condom.
If they check you out and it says you have HIV or AIDs then your kinda fucked though right. "
Yes, largely.
But the level of risk increase due to oral without is so insanely low as to be insignificant.
The only safe way is abstinence. And if you really value safety then you won't be having sex other than for procreation. Because even with your own partner they might have cheated!
Or you could always, you know, take a pragmatic assessment of your level of comfort with the risks... And maybe not shame others because your threshold of acceptability is a reaction of a percent more pious than theirs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For people who don't like condoms try the one vanish hyper-thin Condoms!
they are as close as you can get , just make sure to use a little lube in the inside.
No need to thank me haha |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
I always carry condoms (mr) |
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"No sex is without risk so if you want to enjoy it get checked out regularly.
I really don't see how you can enjoy sucking cocks with a condom.
If they check you out and it says you have HIV or AIDs then your kinda fucked though right. "
A doctor working in blood sciences suggesting the STI check will show you have AIDS - really? Your previous posts also technically correct but slightly misleading. Eg. Yes "dick in pussy" is not the only way to get an sti, but the gay women example you gave as proof is kinda off... cos while sure some do, it's the demographic with the lowest infection rates by faaaar, what can that mean I wonder.
For everyone balking at the condomless BJs - potentiality of infection is not as high with oral sex as it is being on the receiving end of penetration anally or vaginally. Hence some (most??) people feel barrierless oral is a level of risk they are comfortable with. Of course if you suck say twenty dicks a night rather than one every other month you're on a different risk tier, in that case I'd be asking for a throat swab when going through my regular checks. |
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
its a good sign the guy is either married or has a g/f and does not want to be found out by the other half,,,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As far as i know there has never been any conclusive evidence of anyone getting hiv from oral sex! I would suggest the risk is very minimal for most stds! Some can be caught orally but its not the usual way of transmission
Are you really a doctor?! Thats not being offensive a genuine question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as i know there has never been any conclusive evidence of anyone getting hiv from oral sex! I would suggest the risk is very minimal for most stds! Some can be caught orally but its not the usual way of transmission
Are you really a doctor?! Thats not being offensive a genuine question"
Yeah Currently on shift. You need bodily fluids passed from one person to another, if a guy or gal with HIV gives a BJ the guy won't get HIV, if the guy getting the bj has HIV and ejaculates into the mouth of the person giving the BJ, then they can pass it on.
Oral sex has a very low risk of HIV transmission. The virus can very rarely be passed on this way and only if the person with HIV has a detectable viral load. However, I would rather a 0% chance than a 5% chance or more.
For example, if you have a mouth ulcer, then that is an open wound which infected semen or female fluids would be able to infect.
Luckily when it comes to HIV there is a saving grace that HIV cannot survive long outside the body.
Just for educational purposes we list on the NHS website these are Oral sex transmissible infections
STIs commonly caught through oral sex are:
gonorrhoea
genital herpes
syphilis
human papillomavirus (HPV)
Infections less frequently passed on through oral sex include:
chlamydia
HIV
hepatitis A, hepatitis B and hepatitis C
genital warts
pubic lice
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No sex is without risk so if you want to enjoy it get checked out regularly.
I really don't see how you can enjoy sucking cocks with a condom.
If they check you out and it says you have HIV or AIDs then your kinda fucked though right.
A doctor working in blood sciences suggesting the STI check will show you have AIDS - really? Your previous posts also technically correct but slightly misleading. Eg. Yes "dick in pussy" is not the only way to get an sti, but the gay women example you gave as proof is kinda off... cos while sure some do, it's the demographic with the lowest infection rates by faaaar, what can that mean I wonder.
For everyone balking at the condomless BJs - potentiality of infection is not as high with oral sex as it is being on the receiving end of penetration anally or vaginally. Hence some (most??) people feel barrierless oral is a level of risk they are comfortable with. Of course if you suck say twenty dicks a night rather than one every other month you're on a different risk tier, in that case I'd be asking for a throat swab when going through my regular checks."
Hello, I was if anything being less technical and inaccurate due to not wanting to fall further into the rabit hole of safe sex, apologies for that. A simple or full screen usually tests around 8-14 pathogens including HIV. As AIDs is a different category pathogen it is done as an antigen/antibody test 18-45 days after exposure. It can be done as a rapid form finger prick test at 18 -90 days but usually a venepuncture is performed for an antigen test.
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By *urge72Man
over a year ago
oxfordshire & Hull |
I would never leave for any sort of meet without condoms, just like any other responsible guy. It such a shame that there are still dicks that expect the world without protection or go unprepared and then still think they can chance it. |
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Celibacy is not an option so getting checked out regularly is surely the answer.
Being vaccinated against hep b is also sensible
Prep is available for the promiscuous though obviously doesn't protect against STIs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?"
You certainly basically said why, so they can use it as an excuse to just ask for oral, either that or because they want to try and bully women into bareback |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a regular club goer and enjoy lots of fun there.
I have found recently that many guys don’t have condoms and some don’t want to use them. Obviously safety comes first but they are happy to ask for a bj.
It just seems really one sided and rather than having mutual fun it’s just one sided and I feel used.
In future I’m not going to play with any guy who doesn’t have or is not willing to use a condom and indulge in joint pleasure.
Btw I do have a bag of condoms with me.
Does anyone have any insight on this subject?
You certainly basically said why, so they can use it as an excuse to just ask for oral, either that or because they want to try and bully women into bareback"
 |
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I think i have been caught out twice. First time ran back to the locker to get them. I was naked so had no pockets to carry them around. 2nd time with a couple and the chap kindly provided one.
As a rule, I try to always have some on me and unless with a person i know very very well, i will use a condom without question or issue |
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