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Socials/clubs for Newbies

By *reative-mind OP Man over a year ago

Exeter

So as the title suggests my question is around socials and clubs for new singles people like myself.

But there is a twist in mine and maybe others need for advice. I have a mental health condition in the area of Anxiety and social settings is a part of that, similar for so many others. I'm incredibly open about it and it's on my profile for all to see. I'm happy to expand if need be if this is a bit confusing.

It's not something that you'd even know I have if you saw me out and about, I lead a normal life like so many others, it's just that occasionally my brain decides to throw in a curve ball and do somthing stupid.

I appreciat that you get out as much as you put into swinging and want to do that and not take short cuts or blame others for not getting out of this what I want.

Currently and probably will be for a long time, the idea of going to a club or an arranged social alone fills me with untold dred, I can't be alone in this so;

what are people advice and thoughts?

Try to Arrange smaller socials (maybe easier said then done)

risk it and hope you don't mess clubs or people organising socials about

Just hope you meet someone on here etc etc

Genuinely interested to hear what people's advice is for me and I guess those who arnt as open about this as myself.

Please try to be accepting with answers, anything horrible won't really bother me but might others who are reading this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So as the title suggests my question is around socials and clubs for new singles people like myself.

I appreciat that you get out as much as you put into swinging and want to do that and not take short cuts or blame others for not getting out of this what I want.

Currently and probably will be for a long time, the idea of going to a club or an arranged social alone fills me with untold dred, I can't be alone in this so;

what are people advice and thoughts?

Try to Arrange smaller socials (maybe easier said then done)

risk it and hope you don't mess clubs or people organising socials about

Just hope you meet someone on here etc etc

Genuinely interested to hear what people's advice is for me and I guess those who arnt as open about this as myself.

Please try to be accepting with answers, anything horrible won't really bother me but might others who are reading this. "

We are both anxious wrecks at times! However we hold each other up.

If you can find/make a friend then its all up from there

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By *reative-mind OP Man over a year ago

Exeter

"So as the title suggests my question is around socials and clubs for new singles people like myself.

I appreciat that you get out as much as you put into swinging and want to do that and not take short cuts or blame others for not getting out of this what I want.

Currently and probably will be for a long time, the idea of going to a club or an arranged social alone fills me with untold dred, I can't be alone in this so;

what are people advice and thoughts?

Try to Arrange smaller socials (maybe easier said then done)

risk it and hope you don't mess clubs or people organising socials about

Just hope you meet someone on here etc etc

Genuinely interested to hear what people's advice is for me and I guess those who arnt as open about this as myself.

Please try to be accepting with answers, anything horrible won't really bother me but might others who are reading this.

We are both anxious wrecks at times! However we hold each other up.

If you can find/make a friend then its all up from there

Aw that sounds great.

That is my plan long term but feels like it's at the chicken and egg stage currently ??

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple over a year ago

Coventry

As someone who is with new people and/or in new setting socially awkward, anxious, terrible at reading social cues, sometimes volume control issues and prone to dropping social and conversational clangers I feel this. In my experience of clubs as a single man (start going when single, still on occasion alone) you just have to get stuck. Simple as that and be prepared that it will go wrong at times and its can be scary as hell. But the more you do it the easier it gets.

As for coping. First I plan ahead. Makes sure everything I need to know including things like how to get there I know in advance. This removes things that may stress me before hand. Take my time to prepare, look go and feel go about myself. Personally a couple of beers before hand helps me (advise not everyone approves of).

Don't just sink into the background or follow the wanking dead. Be your own man and go make conversation. Sometimes it will go well, sometimes it won't. Don't take it to heart if it don't, move on. Learn to read people's vibe and when the timing is right. This comes with practice. Remember to smile. If I have a melt down or major attack of nerves I just find a queit spot to take some time out, put my self together and return. Plus if you find a good club keep going there. I find that everything is easier if your comfortable and at ease with the venue and know a few faces.

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By *abyblues2023Woman over a year ago

Everywhere and Nowhere baby thats where im at

"So as the title suggests my question is around socials and clubs for new singles people like myself.

I appreciat that you get out as much as you put into swinging and want to do that and not take short cuts or blame others for not getting out of this what I want.

Currently and probably will be for a long time, the idea of going to a club or an arranged social alone fills me with untold dred, I can't be alone in this so;

what are people advice and thoughts?

Try to Arrange smaller socials (maybe easier said then done)

risk it and hope you don't mess clubs or people organising socials about

Just hope you meet someone on here etc etc

Genuinely interested to hear what people's advice is for me and I guess those who arnt as open about this as myself.

Please try to be accepting with answers, anything horrible won't really bother me but might others who are reading this. "

I too have mental health struggles and find meeting people anxiety causing I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to say hope you manage to overcome them to get the best out of swinging x

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By *heelerMan over a year ago

Northants

"So as the title suggests my question is around socials and clubs for new singles people like myself.

I appreciat that you get out as much as you put into swinging and want to do that and not take short cuts or blame others for not getting out of this what I want.

Currently and probably will be for a long time, the idea of going to a club or an arranged social alone fills me with untold dred, I can't be alone in this so;

what are people advice and thoughts?

Try to Arrange smaller socials (maybe easier said then done)

risk it and hope you don't mess clubs or people organising socials about

Just hope you meet someone on here etc etc

Genuinely interested to hear what people's advice is for me and I guess those who arnt as open about this as myself.

Please try to be accepting with answers, anything horrible won't really bother me but might others who are reading this. "

I doubt theres many on here thst dont get anxious on meeting or going to a club so if i may suggest if your just chatting or friendly with someone on here suggest trying a club with just a social time together then hopefully the ice is broken and give you the confidence to go further each visit chat to others in the club and im sure you'll be ok.

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By *cottish guy 555Man over a year ago

London

As someone who suffers with social anxiety I can wholeheartedly reccomend socials and clubs. It's weird, I just find events with folk from the lifestyle easier to handle. Just give it a go and if it doesn't work, maybe try a few more times to see how you cope

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I find the organised socials much easier than the clubs, it's just a load of people in a pub.

I'd definitely recommend one of the socials to start with, people are very accommodating and generally chatty you do have to mingle a little though.

Mrs

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By *heekyDemandCouple over a year ago

Leicester

We are both anxious wrecks at times! However we hold each other up.

If you can find/make a friend then its all up from there

Trust me, no need to be anxious, unless you are fighting off groupies and fans because Mr first picture looks like Tom Hardy

Grrrrrr, lemme at him ...

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By *reative-mind OP Man over a year ago

Exeter

Thank you for the advice everyone. Very much appreciate it, considering trying a local club on a Sunday when it might be a bit more quite because i cant see that there are any socials in my area.

the search is on for a partner in crime to attend things with so few options I guess.

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