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Etiquette on hotel meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had hotel meets and have always offered and paid the bill, there is compromise, if it’s more than just sex they can bring some food or a bottle of wine or something.
If it’s an arranged all night meet and we are having a social with it as well then I have previously said “we can use a spa hotel, how about I pay x and you pay y” |
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A previous FWB and I used to take turns to pay, we’d do so when we booked and confirmed the date. As a guy, I’d always offer to book and pay for a hotel, you do have to prune out those who are time wasters etc.
In any event, be careful as a single women and hotel rooms with those you don’t know or have only just met; obvious precautions and meeting for a drink in the bar, emergency friend calls etc.
Enjoy and be safe  |
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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago
Leeds + Newcastle |
It depends on if we are both staying there all night - I'd go halves
If he's literally coming and going and I'm staying all night, I'll pay.
Visa versa, if I'm visiting and he's staying all night, I won't contribute |
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"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "
Not sure there is standard etiquette as such and down to individual. Men often pay because of the usual power imbalance on here but some prefer 50/50. Also know a lady who insists on booking and paying herself as it gives her control and makes it easier should she want to back out with no obligation. |
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On our first meet we booked and paid for the hotel. For a few reasons. A no show still meant a night away for us. We felt more comfortable knowing the room was ours and we could tell them to leave if we needed to |
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I've paid for hotels myself before... treated one guy as he'd been so hospitable at his house the first few times and we was going to a club so I said I'd pay... then we went halves on club and cabs |
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Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.
I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.
Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet 
Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…"
Gosh that’s awful I could never do that to someone. I booked hotel and paid myself for it but don’t intend to keep forking out every time |
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"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…"
Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…
Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness. "
I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again. |
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"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…
Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness.
I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again. "
Really easy to book a room that offers free cancellation up to say the day before or even the same day in some cases. So ladies had probably made genuine but then just cancelled. |
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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "
the man pays .. unless he s seen a face picture and gets buyers remorse ... |
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"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…
Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness.
I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again. "
On a serious note , thats really bad.
On a not so serious note. I have some magic beans for sale, if you're interested  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We book and pay for the hotel room.
That way it’s our room and we control the environment.
We’d be as wary going to a man’s hotel room as we would his house.
Hidden cameras etc. |
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This is something we have struggled with. It's seriously awkward and why we prefer not to use hotels. If a meet gets cancelled then someone is lumbered with a bill. Even if it's not them that's cancelled or there is no fault.
My view - We prefer to avoid hotels outright, if the other party wishes that to be the venue we will accept it but really it should be them paying for the venue and taking the risk of loss if the meet falls through (though we would likely offer to reimburse them if the cancellation was at our end) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Unfortunately I am not able to accommodate at home a lot of the time so hotel meets are something I do. I don’t mind going halves but don’t particularly want to be paying all of it every time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do meets at hotels but it's always an invite to our room which we pay for. If there's a no show we have a nice night in a nice hotel.
Splitting the bill would seem to add pressure and an expectation I think |
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"Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.
I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.
Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet
Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards
"
When I read about power imbalance I assumed they meant like work status. Why would a man let a woman pay if she earned a tenth of his income (as an example). It's not unusual for women to work part-time if they have children, again an example.
The point is there are many things to take into account and that would mean a discussion. |
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"Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.
I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.
Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet
Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards
When I read about power imbalance I assumed they meant like work status. Why would a man let a woman pay if she earned a tenth of his income (as an example). It's not unusual for women to work part-time if they have children, again an example.
The point is there are many things to take into account and that would mean a discussion."
But for a first meet, the idea of talking income and relative cost may make people balk.
I'd say that the real power here is the ratio of men to women. Also the desperation levels of some to meet.
But if the OP is meeting someone and they don't want to pay, at least half, then it shows potential problems from the start.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always hire our own room so we can enjoy it and stay the night. If someone wants to join us that's absolutely fine. I suppose if we was having a meet and wasn't staying we would happily pay. We are just like that, as long as everyone enjoys themselves
Mrs C x |
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"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "
In the past, we have done different things:
-If we are staying the night, but they are leaving, we will pay for the room.
-If we're all staying the night, then we would share costs. This could be us paying for the room & them paying for food or drinks though.
-If a single guy/lady was joining us, we would also pay the bill.
Ultimately though, it's not a major consideration, and I'm not fussed if we have covered all the costs...
Cal |
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We take the view that we choose the hotel and pay to start with. Once we have got to know someone we would go halves on subsequent meets. But we are generally happy to pay as we often stay in hotels when we go to Clubs, so it is no different really. |
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