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Wife's boyfriend.
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Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance "
Happy to tell you about me and my ex wife and what she had for over 12months ... PM me if you like, Jay |
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"I think these scenarios are predominantly a male fantasy ...in practice the stars aligning in this way happens quite rarely "
I think it can happen but with clear boundaries, emotional and thought awareness/regulation and self-care. Jealousy is a normal emotion as can be seen in one of David Attenborough's wildlife tv shows. However the idea is not to let it consume you into doing something irrational. I'm also not sure how many people ( in particular men) are emotionally intelligent to handle these types of dynamics and foresee potential conflicts and take appropriate conflict resolution.
I identify as solo polyamorous swinger.
I don't use the terms "boyfriend/girlfriend" as for me that infers a level of commitment.
I term it as lovers, intimate companions and playmates.
I have a friend with benefits but he is my actual friend that I've known for 30 years ( man... we are old. Lol).
I don't really have fuckbuddy interactions because I can't just have sex at the drop of a hat with just anyone. I actually need a stronger conversation ( not based on sex) to form a sexual connection. When I get super horny and no one is available that's what I have toys for. |
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"I think these scenarios are predominantly a male fantasy ...in practice the stars aligning in this way happens quite rarely
I think it can happen but with clear boundaries, emotional and thought awareness/regulation and self-care. Jealousy is a normal emotion as can be seen in one of David Attenborough's wildlife tv shows. However the idea is not to let it consume you into doing something irrational. I'm also not sure how many people ( in particular men) are emotionally intelligent to handle these types of dynamics and foresee potential conflicts and take appropriate conflict resolution.
I identify as solo polyamorous swinger.
I don't use the terms "boyfriend/girlfriend" as for me that infers a level of commitment.
I term it as lovers, intimate companions and playmates.
I have a friend with benefits but he is my actual friend that I've known for 30 years ( man... we are old. Lol).
I don't really have fuckbuddy interactions because I can't just have sex at the drop of a hat with just anyone. I actually need a stronger conversation ( not based on sex) to form a sexual connection. When I get super horny and no one is available that's what I have toys for."
Is a great explanation
In the past I have been a friend with benefits with a couple. Neither playing with others but together as a 2 and 3. I believe it can be an addition to the relationship not replacement or interference. The key for me is that everyone is on the same page, honest and putting others first.
Can be done definitely maybe I have just been lucky. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss anything and get a single guys perspective |
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It sounds like you're describing polyamory - ongoing concurrent relationships
I'm openly polyamorous, have been for a decade, i won't actively date anyone without them knowing this and I will gladly talk at length about it and why it's important to me and do what i can to share resources that will help someone I'm interested in understand how my brain and heart is wired up.
I have a partner i live with (other poly people call that a nesting partner) and an "it's complicated" morethanfriendship but not romantic kink based relationship and while I'm not pursuing anything else outside of my partners, they're both free to do what they wish within the boundaries we have agreed.
But there's also as many ways to manage a polyamorous relationship as there are polyamorous people so its not necessarily *easy* but i think it's worth it
It can work. It does work. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance "
Interesting that you ask for stories rather than asking for tips and advice on how to make it work etc. i don’t see how hearing stories will help you unless your really just fishing for scenarios to fantasise over.
Asking how it made others feel, whether it’s working, is the relationship stronger and did they get left out isn’t going to help you either…everyone is going to feel differently about it because we all process the reality of our partners being with someone else differently, some people think it’s sexy and exciting, some people get jealous and feel betrayed….knowing how others feel won’t be an indication of how you’re going to feel….similarly whether it makes other relationships stronger or not will have no bearing on whether it makes your relationship stronger because every relationship is different and will be affected differently….if you really want some advice and to hear people’s opinions on whether they think you should do it you need to give us information about the state of your relationship at the moment, reasons why you’re considering doing it, how you feel about it at the moment, what sort of personalities do you have (are you normally jealous) and what aspects of a relationship are important to you. |
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"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance
Interesting that you ask for stories rather than asking for tips and advice on how to make it work etc. i don’t see how hearing stories will help you unless your really just fishing for scenarios to fantasise over.
Asking how it made others feel, whether it’s working, is the relationship stronger and did they get left out isn’t going to help you either…everyone is going to feel differently about it because we all process the reality of our partners being with someone else differently, some people think it’s sexy and exciting, some people get jealous and feel betrayed….knowing how others feel won’t be an indication of how you’re going to feel….similarly whether it makes other relationships stronger or not will have no bearing on whether it makes your relationship stronger because every relationship is different and will be affected differently….if you really want some advice and to hear people’s opinions on whether they think you should do it you need to give us information about the state of your relationship at the moment, reasons why you’re considering doing it, how you feel about it at the moment, what sort of personalities do you have (are you normally jealous) and what aspects of a relationship are important to you. "
Thank you. And yes that all.makes sence. I will work on more info over the weekend
I'm no writer. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance
Interesting that you ask for stories rather than asking for tips and advice on how to make it work etc. i don’t see how hearing stories will help you unless your really just fishing for scenarios to fantasise over.
Asking how it made others feel, whether it’s working, is the relationship stronger and did they get left out isn’t going to help you either…everyone is going to feel differently about it because we all process the reality of our partners being with someone else differently, some people think it’s sexy and exciting, some people get jealous and feel betrayed….knowing how others feel won’t be an indication of how you’re going to feel….similarly whether it makes other relationships stronger or not will have no bearing on whether it makes your relationship stronger because every relationship is different and will be affected differently….if you really want some advice and to hear people’s opinions on whether they think you should do it you need to give us information about the state of your relationship at the moment, reasons why you’re considering doing it, how you feel about it at the moment, what sort of personalities do you have (are you normally jealous) and what aspects of a relationship are important to you.
Thank you. And yes that all.makes sence. I will work on more info over the weekend
I'm no writer."
It doesn’t need to be well written, no one’s judging you on your writing skills. You could do a list, or bullet points, |
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"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance "
I am a polyamourous swinger that lives with her husband and boyfriend. It depends on the set up you all want
Could I suggest so it'd stays ethical you do some reading and research, it's not an easy road for some and most dont put the work in for it to truly work and be happy in its entirety.
The Ethical Slut is a good book...amongst others.
Communicate.. but don't rush, it needs to be done on a solid foundation |
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I can also add the book "more than two" to the pile
While what's being described won't likely come close but i do tend to refer people who are looking for other relationships when exploring polyamory to read on unicorn hunting too
Theres a website called unicorns r us and it's a bit walloftext but great information to know as someone venturing out into polyamory |
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"I think these scenarios are predominantly a male fantasy ...in practice the stars aligning in this way happens quite rarely "
I’ve been the exclusive lover to a married woman for over 8 years now. Her hubby is perfectly at ease with the arrangement  |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance
I am a polyamourous swinger that lives with her husband and boyfriend. It depends on the set up you all want
Could I suggest so it'd stays ethical you do some reading and research, it's not an easy road for some and most dont put the work in for it to truly work and be happy in its entirety.
The Ethical Slut is a good book...amongst others.
Communicate.. but don't rush, it needs to be done on a solid foundation "
Such an interesting dynamic. It would be good to know, if your comfortable sharing, what worked well and what didn't stating off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So my partner and I are just getting into this kind of relationship. I think we’re more of a stag and vixen couple, where she has a fwb whom she’s seen a few times now for fun. It’s been such a huge turn on for me, and really enhanced our relationship within clear rules and boundaries. Which is why I’m on Fab as she’s encouraging me to find a similar fwb, or better yet a female Domme (I’m a bit of a sub!) |
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"I think these scenarios are predominantly a male fantasy ...in practice the stars aligning in this way happens quite rarely
I think it can happen but with clear boundaries, emotional and thought awareness/regulation and self-care. Jealousy is a normal emotion as can be seen in one of David Attenborough's wildlife tv shows. However the idea is not to let it consume you into doing something irrational. I'm also not sure how many people ( in particular men) are emotionally intelligent to handle these types of dynamics and foresee potential conflicts and take appropriate conflict resolution.
I identify as solo polyamorous swinger.
I don't use the terms "boyfriend/girlfriend" as for me that infers a level of commitment.
I term it as lovers, intimate companions and playmates.
I have a friend with benefits but he is my actual friend that I've known for 30 years ( man... we are old. Lol).
I don't really have fuckbuddy interactions because I can't just have sex at the drop of a hat with just anyone. I actually need a stronger conversation ( not based on sex) to form a sexual connection. When I get super horny and no one is available that's what I have toys for.
Is a great explanation
In the past I have been a friend with benefits with a couple. Neither playing with others but together as a 2 and 3. I believe it can be an addition to the relationship not replacement or interference. The key for me is that everyone is on the same page, honest and putting others first.
Can be done definitely maybe I have just been lucky. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss anything and get a single guys perspective "
Noted thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hotwife has a liver, she meets him alone and we have mfm threesum, they do nights away and they do love each other. We are all open about things and we don’t have any problems with this and it is working.
We never set out looking for this, it just happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A little update, hotwife says she lusts afrer her lover so much that she wants him more than anyone and loves him more and more.
They are meeting on yuesday a d thursday this week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A little update, hotwife says she lusts afrer her lover so much that she wants him more than anyone and loves him more and more.
They are meeting on yuesday a d thursday this week"
How did this come about? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A little update, hotwife says she lusts afrer her lover so much that she wants him more than anyone and loves him more and more.
They are meeting on yuesday a d thursday this week
How did this come about?"
We met him about 12-13 years ago, and meet him regular, they meet alone aswell, it’s always a risk when two people have intimate sex with each other. |
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By *iganpairCouple
over a year ago
Wigan, Lancs. |
Yea its always a risk but its soo addictive
"A little update, hotwife says she lusts afrer her lover so much that she wants him more than anyone and loves him more and more.
They are meeting on yuesday a d thursday this week
How did this come about?
We met him about 12-13 years ago, and meet him regular, they meet alone aswell, it’s always a risk when two people have intimate sex with each other."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance "
Pm me and ill explain me having a relationship with another couple for a while |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She’s very nice she will have no trouble finding a bf
Who?"
I think he was talking about Bunny. Are you meeting single guys at the moment..? Your profile suggests no, you are only talking to some..
|
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"She’s very nice she will have no trouble finding a bf
Who?
I think he was talking about Bunny. Are you meeting single guys at the moment..? Your profile suggests no, you are only talking to some..
"
We do talk to single men got enough to choose from on our freinds list.
So I've changed the search to find some single woman/couples for the time being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She’s very nice she will have no trouble finding a bf
Who?
I think he was talking about Bunny. Are you meeting single guys at the moment..? Your profile suggests no, you are only talking to some..
We do talk to single men got enough to choose from on our freinds list.
So I've changed the search to find some single woman/couples for the time being."
Don't you think it would be better to have some NSA fun with one of the guys and see how that goes before considering a boyfriend..? |
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"She’s very nice she will have no trouble finding a bf
Who?
I think he was talking about Bunny. Are you meeting single guys at the moment..? Your profile suggests no, you are only talking to some..
We nowhere need boyfriend stage. This just a conversation.
We do talk to single men got enough to choose from on our freinds list.
So I've changed the search to find some single woman/couples for the time being.
Don't you think it would be better to have some NSA fun with one of the guys and see how that goes before considering a boyfriend..?"
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By *hippy57Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
It’s a big step to take from sharing wife with you present,to her having a boyfriend,I used to share my first wife,had a few mmf with a friend of ours,then found out he was secretly meeting my wife while I was at work,I felt cheated by both of them,strange how you can handle a mmf with your loved one,when cheated on it hurts like crazy |
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"It’s a big step to take from sharing wife with you present,to her having a boyfriend,I used to share my first wife,had a few mmf with a friend of ours,then found out he was secretly meeting my wife while I was at work,I felt cheated by both of them,strange how you can handle a mmf with your loved one,when cheated on it hurts like crazy "
This is my biggest fear.but also I don't want to hold her so tight she feels I'm possessive. And I'm not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My beautiful lady has a bg and it's been the best thing to happen to us in years. She is so happy and horny all the time I'm thinking about her having another one"
Don't know if OP means just one other BF or multiple lovers. I think they need to take first step and have MFM threesome, then take it from there.
Like someone has said its a totally different scenario her enjoying other men in front of you and going away to see them on her own.
I think OP needs to be 100% certain he can handle it before going ahead. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
i have a couple regular guys that ive know for a long long time (one nearly 30 years and one nearly 25 i call them boyfriends as thats what they are they are men that me and hubs are friends with that i have a sexual relationship with .. its worked because they are not needy they are not and nor am i looking for love or commitment just totally sexual friendship ...drama free ... mind you they dont all stay that way some will get needy and want more then i just part ways as ive zero interest im not poly i go back to my hubs every time |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
if one of you have doubt's then 100% it will not work it will eat away until the cracks appear can be quick or can take a while but these relationships where one has doubts never work ...
see it all the time just with swinging alone many think they want it but they've never really thought it thru and it eats away until it goes pop ...
your either both 100% committed and totally open with each other with 100% trust n love or it just wont work...
see it with those who want to try and save a marridge it never works only the rock solid couples make it work |
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"Fellow husband long term partners. Do your wife have a boyfriend away from you? How do you feel how did it make you feel? Is it working? Is your relationship stronger. Do you get left out ?
I'd really like some stories please
As we explore the possibility of the Mrs having a bf as well as me.
Thank you in advance
I am a polyamourous swinger that lives with her husband and boyfriend. It depends on the set up you all want
Could I suggest so it'd stays ethical you do some reading and research, it's not an easy road for some and most dont put the work in for it to truly work and be happy in its entirety.
The Ethical Slut is a good book...amongst others.
Communicate.. but don't rush, it needs to be done on a solid foundation Such an interesting dynamic. It would be good to know, if your comfortable sharing, what worked well and what didn't stating off?"
Open communication no matter how difficult, what your boundaries are. What you want from the scenario. So many different angles to polyamoury.
Happy to chat over mesaage if you want to chat more. I rarely come in the forums, so apologies for the late response. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s what’s always made us wary when feeling get involved.
I had a regular guy I seen for meets and on his part this happened so unfortunately had to end it.
Hope you and you’re wife can sort things out  |
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By *w_cuckCouple
over a year ago
Cambridgeshire |
My wife had a bf/regular lover she met weekly for over 2 years. If I'm being honest it was a roller coaster or emotions for the first 6 months then we managed to get it all sorted and it worked very well for everyone. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
I can't give answers for my husband but I'm a wife with a boyfriend.
We've been on holiday together, we are all good friends, if my husband is dropping me off at the boyfriends he often calls in for a brew and a natter. They game together. The eventual plan is for us to live together (ish - think farmhouse with an annexe or if I win the lottery building a house with each having our own space and communal spaces.) |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
I literally only typed half my thoughts.
It's not easy. It works and we are all very happy. But it takes effort and communication and a lot of Dropbox space, shared calendars and spreadsheets... So many spreadsheets.
But then again we practice kitchen table polyamoury... Or at least our version of it. Metamours, and their extended polyfam are our extended polyfam and that includes support, help, advice... The odd stern word and eyebrow raise when needed.
I spend a minimum of 2 nights a week at my boyfriends. This week when I leave his on Friday, he will be driving down south to visit his girlfriend (I went down with him last time to meet some more of the polyfam).
My boyfriend is as important to me as my husband is. If it was legal to marry more than one person in the UK I probably would (although the surnames don't work double barreled more is the pity...)
Communicate, all the time. It's hard especially when you don't want to but you have to talk about it.
Take jealousy... If you're feeling jealous, the person who needs to think about that (in the first instance) is yourself. What is the actual reason behind your jealousy...
My example for this was recently I was jealous of the 'fun things' it always looked like the bf was doing when he went to visit his gf... Lunches out, trips to the spa.
Now, I'm disabled and the bf has had long COVID. A lot of our time together is recovery time, we both work full time and so we spend a lot of time resting.
I wasn't jealous that he was with her. I was jealous that he was spending energy he didn't seem to have with me...
We had a conversation, and turns out, he actually was struggling with his energy levels then but his gf had planned some of these things months in advance.
We decided to plan more things in the diary together (we have a night at a spa hotel coming up) to help us regulate energy levels but also to make us plan to do exciting things.
But I couldn't place my jealousy at his feet... I had to work in myself and understand my own reasons before I could start the conversation and you've got to be good at not letting things simmer (while still not bring it up while you're still volatile) and dropping things once they are resolved (but those are relationship lessons everyone needs to learn mono or poly) |
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