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No face pic?
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Chatting to a couple about a potential MMF but despite being very chatty and the female of the couple sending some body pics etc, neither of them seem very keen on showing their face to me. Something doesn’t feel quite right about it all. Any advice? |
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They have seen pictures of me, I’ve been respectful, open and honest. I’ve chatted to both of them about boundaries and desires individually on Skype messenger but something doesn’t seem quite right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you asked them outright? If so what reason have they given you for not sending one?
If it’s making you uneasy then go with your gut feeling.
I know some people won’t send face pics but you’ve got to know if there’s an attraction there. |
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"Have you asked them outright? If so what reason have they given you for not sending one?
If it’s making you uneasy then go with your gut feeling.
I know some people won’t send face pics but you’ve got to know if there’s an attraction there."
This is my point, need to have some physical attraction. Been chatting to them for about 4/5 days now and every time I ask for a face pic they shun it off or say, we’re new to this, we don’t want to share just yet. I’m respecting that and not being pushy but it’s getting a bit long in the tooth now. |
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If you would like to see their faces and they don't want to show them you're at an impasse. Neither of you is wrong but you're probably not compatible.
We never show our face until a meet is agreed but respect that some people like to see faces before that. |
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"If you would like to see their faces and they don't want to show them you're at an impasse. Neither of you is wrong but you're probably not compatible.
We never show our face until a meet is agreed but respect that some people like to see faces before that. "
but you don’t know if your attracted to the other if you can’t see a face pic? |
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"If you would like to see their faces and they don't want to show them you're at an impasse. Neither of you is wrong but you're probably not compatible.
We never show our face until a meet is agreed but respect that some people like to see faces before that.
but you don’t know if your attracted to the other if you can’t see a face pic? "
True but we only meet socially first anyway because I don't know if I'm attracted to someone until I meet them in person.
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"If you don't show face, I dont show face. Simpels. Too many guys send out of desperation. This cost me a lot of meets but fuck it. Not sending.  "
That's fair I think.
Quite a few people never ask us for face pictures but always recognise us when we meet.
It must be the hats with 'swingers ' written on them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do not ask for face pics and do not send them. That is what a social meet is for. The adage you can't judge a book by its cover absolutely applies for us. People, their personalities, and -most importantly- how we interact with them is never conveyed by a pic. If people won't even meet for a coffee without seeing our faces we know they are not the people for us.
Just use your gut and you can't go wrong with a social meet first. It is not a waste of time, it can open a lot more doors if you are proactive and flexible. |
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"We do not ask for face pics and do not send them. That is what a social meet is for. The adage you can't judge a book by its cover absolutely applies for us. People, their personalities, and -most importantly- how we interact with them is never conveyed by a pic. If people won't even meet for a coffee without seeing our faces we know they are not the people for us.
Just use your gut and you can't go wrong with a social meet first. It is not a waste of time, it can open a lot more doors if you are proactive and flexible."
I admire and applaud your way of doing things. It's a breath of fresh air. |
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"We do not ask for face pics and do not send them. That is what a social meet is for. The adage you can't judge a book by its cover absolutely applies for us. People, their personalities, and -most importantly- how we interact with them is never conveyed by a pic. If people won't even meet for a coffee without seeing our faces we know they are not the people for us.
Just use your gut and you can't go wrong with a social meet first. It is not a waste of time, it can open a lot more doors if you are proactive and flexible.
I admire and applaud your way of doing things. It's a breath of fresh air. "
Too brave. Face needed. When you get 100s of offers how do you distinguish which one if you're Gona play russian roulette with? |
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If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't, everyone has different rules in face pics.
For me personally I want to see them fairly quickly, my time is precious and I'm not having endless chat with someone I'm not attracted too, that's a waste of time for everyone, I'd definitely not be having a social if I'd not seen their face.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is happening often lately. So many fake profiles popping up that are so clearly fake. I’ve noticed the amount of “couples” profiles as well with no photos but asking men to go and meet the male partner as it’s a turn on for them. I mean can’t people even put effort into being fake these days? |
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I am not comfortable sending my face pic to someone I am not sure yet I'd be happy to meet. I need a bit of a chat first to establish if there is a connection as it's my brain that needs to be interested first, not my eyes. Once I'm ready, I'm happy to send my face pic.
At the moment I'm only meeting any new people in clubs, by chance, so the need for the face pic is not there.
Also, I would not give a stranger my number or agree to a video call. I do have other means of communicating but leaving those until after the first meet as I see no need to take the conversation away from here. |
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I'd go with my gut.. if something feels off then it usually is.
I could never meet someone without seeing a face pic first and see if there's an initial attraction there,we would be wasting time on a social meet if there's no initiall attraction to begin with.
Good luck OP . |
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Yeah I wouldn't be happy with this. I don't have a lot if available time to spend on meets and I need at least some facial attraction
Like someone else said though you are at an impasse.
Might be worth just moving on if it's a deal breaker for you , as it is for us |
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"If you would like to see their faces and they don't want to show them you're at an impasse. Neither of you is wrong but you're probably not compatible.
We never show our face until a meet is agreed but respect that some people like to see faces before that.
but you don’t know if your attracted to the other if you can’t see a face pic? "
Maybe I approach fab differently to others but not every conversation needs to involve attraction.
I'll quite happily meet someone for a coffee even if I know beforehand we won't be getting naked at a later stage.
I don't swap facepics and have never once asked for one.
The only time it has ever happened has been after the meet is already agreed and we need to be able to recognise each other in the coffee shop.
I don't read anything into people not sharing facepics because they are right to be cautious with the level of info passed between chatgroups etc.
There are many other red flags long before the issue of facepics is discussed. |
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They're probably legit. I get if they don't feel safe to show their face at this stage that's their perogative. However it's totally your perogative to see their face before engaging any futher. After all trust goes both ways. If at this stage you feel you need to see their face and they won't maybe best to drop this couple. No one is wrong just different ways of working this. |
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"If they aren't fab verified then I suspect it's a single guy, with pics taken from a site or someone else's profile "
I was gonna ask if they were verified
I'd go with your gut op and you won't go far wrong.
Some are genuinely cautious ,but some have other reasons they can't/won't send a face pic back . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Too brave. Face needed. When you get 100s of offers how do you distinguish which one if you're Gona play russian roulette with? "
Nothing brave about it, no one ever wants pics of Mr only Miss. We meet at very public locations for socials in very unsexy and open environments like a wetherspoons, or fast food place. When someone knows what you look like their body language is already "familiar" because they have made lots assumptions about you.
For us the pros are:
Their conversation/communication skills are good.
They are not pic collectors/window shopping.
They are not jacking off to Miss' face.
They are not trying to reverse image search us for other social media.
We get to share that first moment of body language which tells both us and them a heap of information.
Mr gets to see them picking their jaw from the floor in person.
Cons:
We risk no play on further meets -no play can happen even knowing the face first too- but still a great social (we already know they have conversation we enjoyed).
We risk being ghosted but they still do not have copies of Miss' face in their collection, and we still have a perfectly good time in each others company and maybe even flirt with the staff  |
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"We do not ask for face pics and do not send them. That is what a social meet is for. The adage you can't judge a book by its cover absolutely applies for us. People, their personalities, and -most importantly- how we interact with them is never conveyed by a pic. If people won't even meet for a coffee without seeing our faces we know they are not the people for us.
Just use your gut and you can't go wrong with a social meet first. It is not a waste of time, it can open a lot more doors if you are proactive and flexible."
Absolutely spot on!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never sent a pic on here or on kik. Never will and that includes everyone I've met. Nothing will make me change my mind. If people don't want to send pics then move onto people who do. Stop trying to change people. You have your rules, respect theirs |
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"I've never sent a pic on here or on kik. Never will and that includes everyone I've met. Nothing will make me change my mind. If people don't want to send pics then move onto people who do. Stop trying to change people. You have your rules, respect theirs "
I take it that when you arrange to meet someone then that you just give a description of yourself or hope that they've sent a pic to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never sent a pic on here or on kik. Never will and that includes everyone I've met. Nothing will make me change my mind. If people don't want to send pics then move onto people who do. Stop trying to change people. You have your rules, respect theirs
I take it that when you arrange to meet someone then that you just give a description of yourself or hope that they've sent a pic to you? "
If meeting in a car park I'll ask what car they drive. If in Costa for example what they are wearing/where they are sitting. If it's in a place I'll ask the address. I'll give the same information. Common sense really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Experience has told me that people reluctant to give face pics are usually wasting both of our time.
If they're too shy/nervous/whatever to give you a face pic, what's the chance of them actually showing up for a meet? |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"Chatting to a couple about a potential MMF but despite being very chatty and the female of the couple sending some body pics etc, neither of them seem very keen on showing their face to me. Something doesn’t feel quite right about it all. Any advice?"
Ask them out right ,gut feeling are usually right .don't let it get to you.some talk the talk or you're face pic wasn't for them ....nowt so strange as folk! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take it that when you arrange to meet someone then that you just give a description of yourself or hope that they've sent a pic to you? "
It's amazingly simple to meet people without sharing face or even any pics. Meeting other people has been happening long long long before the camera phones.
You agree to a time and place, describe what you're wearing, whoever gets there first finds a spot to sit and messages the other where to find them.
The pushback we usually get is "That is not safe". Our reply "Yes it is, it is a public place with lots of other people. If we all decided it's not a match we haven't made things awkward or encroached on anyone's personal space.". Then leave it alone an wish them well on their journey. |
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"They have seen pictures of me, I’ve been respectful, open and honest. I’ve chatted to both of them about boundaries and desires individually on Skype messenger but something doesn’t seem quite right."
We have had this alot on here, especially couples. Everytime you approach the subject they chamge it very quickly or just completely ignore the fact you have asked countless times or hinted toward it...its very frustrating.. we have learned to just go with our instinct and block...trust your gut feeling! |
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"They have seen pictures of me, I’ve been respectful, open and honest. I’ve chatted to both of them about boundaries and desires individually on Skype messenger but something doesn’t seem quite right.
We have had this alot on here, especially couples. Everytime you approach the subject they chamge it very quickly or just completely ignore the fact you have asked countless times or hinted toward it...its very frustrating.. we have learned to just go with our instinct and block...trust your gut feeling! "
. Absolutely right go with your first good feeling for me. The hasta be an attraction there so if you feel comfortable, you do share if you don’t don’t share  |
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"They have seen pictures of me, I’ve been respectful, open and honest. I’ve chatted to both of them about boundaries and desires individually on Skype messenger but something doesn’t seem quite right.
We have had this alot on here, especially couples. Everytime you approach the subject they chamge it very quickly or just completely ignore the fact you have asked countless times or hinted toward it...its very frustrating.. we have learned to just go with our instinct and block...trust your gut feeling! . Absolutely right go with your first good feeling for me. The hasta be an attraction there so if you feel comfortable, you do share if you don’t don’t share "
I agree with this viewpoint but interested in why others have shared why they don't. For me there needs to be that initial attraction, then a social to see them in real life and get a feel for them. The kids is a big deal for me.
The part I find strange - is them wanting to see you but not reciprocating. That would set my warning radar off aswell. I don't feel it should be a one way transaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never sent a face pic before meeting, i've been swinging since approx 2005.
I have a non playing social first, in a public place. Nowadays i only meet to play in a club so that means i see and interact with the person first with no problems. If i'm arranging to meet a guy in a club i still have a social first too, either in the club or somewhere public.
If the guy isn't happy with that then it means we aren't suited so no meet is arranged.
Works well for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a couple about a potential MMF but despite being very chatty and the female of the couple sending some body pics etc, neither of them seem very keen on showing their face to me. Something doesn’t feel quite right about it all. Any advice?"
However this could be a guy pretending to be a couple though. He could have took the fem pics off the internet etc. |
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It is each to their own of course but I don't agree someone demanding face pics and then not sending it back in return. Perfectly happy to send face pics on arranging meets, but also see why please don't want to send them to strangers on here. Just respect people's choice. |
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We all do things differently and for our own reasons. We don’t do socials, but if we’ve chatted to people on here for a while we will share face pics. But we will only meet at Clubs first. So Fab is really an opportunity to find people we fancy, in the hope that they may turn up to a Club when we do (we post meets). Though even if the planets align and we see people at Clubs we may not actually fancy each other. But in the plus side, we’re in a Club and will likely find someone to pass the time with |
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I understand some people saying that is what a social meeting is for.
However
I'm not going to put precious time into a social (getting ready, travel etc) if a simple face pic could quickly help me decide that they'll be no attraction.
I genuinely do not understand what the issue is.
You can set it to delete once viewed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmmm, older guy, younger girl, dating a year and she’s very “inexperienced” by the sounds of it. Maybe I’m just worrying over nothing"
Sounds like you've given him loads to wank about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Check images via Google search engine 
How do you do that? "
Some browsers have it built in but others you can use extensions that will provide a right-click type option to do a reverse search on various indexes. |
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"I have never sent a face pic before meeting, i've been swinging since approx 2005.
I have a non playing social first, in a public place. Nowadays i only meet to play in a club so that means i see and interact with the person first with no problems. If i'm arranging to meet a guy in a club i still have a social first too, either in the club or somewhere public.
If the guy isn't happy with that then it means we aren't suited so no meet is arranged.
Works well for me "
I am the same.
Plus I’ll tell them I am really ugly if I don’t fancy them.
Works for me so far |
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"Chatting to a couple about a potential MMF but despite being very chatty and the female of the couple sending some body pics etc, neither of them seem very keen on showing their face to me. Something doesn’t feel quite right about it all. Any advice?"
For what it is worth we find exactly the same as a couple with many single guys. All very enthusiastic and keen and then nothing!!! We try and encourage a video call to check and assess fit/personality. |
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By *sWilburWoman
over a year ago
sw london |
I’ve had the same thing recently
I just ignore their messages now
I can’t meet someone without seeing recent face pics or having a FaceTime call.
Agree with you something doesn’t sit right. Go with your gut! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems to be an thing with people older, it could be as swinging used to be a much bigger taboo than it is now."
Swinging wasn't a bigger Taboo, the swinging 60's wasn't because of the music style. It is more the numbing and normalisation of online exposure, putting your life on social media, smart/camera phones, and the WYSIWYG of online shopping.
Some people do not want their lives and faces sent into the either forever more. Once someone else has a copy of your face on their device you can not delete it from their device. You can not stop their device from syncing your face with their online/offline storage/backup. You have no idea what apps or who else has access to their device or storage/backup. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wont meet anyone even for a social without knowing what they look like, I'm obviously happy to show my face too.
I have to know if there is an initial attraction then happy to meet socially to see if that spark is still there in person.
I understand not everyone likes doing things that way and that's absolutely fine we're just not compatible.
If it doesn't feel right it rarely is right. Always go with your gut.
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